Shayaris/Poems/Jokes/Cool Stuff Corner

[ruchirapinge]

Hi friends this is a thread where u can post shayaris or poems or jokes
or anything interseting
u can contribute anything to this thread so lets start:D

[ruchirapinge]

HEART TOUCHING SHAYARIS
************ ********* ********* *****

KASH WADO KA MATLAB WOH SAMAJ PATE,

HAMARI KHAMOSHI KA MATLAB WOH SAMAJH PATE,

NAZREN KEHTI HAIN HAZAR BATEIN

KASH HAMARI EK NAZAR WOH SAMAJH PATE. . . !!!
************ ********* ********* *****

Barsat ki har boond mei samaye ho tum,

har dil mei khas jagah banaye ho tum,

yu toh hamdard ki kami nahi,

par na jane aaj bahut yaad arahei ho tum. . .!!!
************ ********* ********* *****
Hamare pyar ko na dil se juda karna,

zindagi mei na kabhi yeh gunah karna,

kuch pal chahe beet jaye tumse baat kiye bina,

zindagi na beet jaye dua karna. . .!!
************ ********* ********* *****

[ruchirapinge]

Tu chandramukhi main surajmukhi,
Tu mujhse dukhi main tujhse dukhi.
Chatt se chhalang laga de,
Phir tu bhi sukhi, main bhi sukhi.

Ishk me dil ka tamasha dekha nahi jaata,
Humse tuta hua shisha dekha nahi jaata.
Apne hiss eke saare sms de du tujhe,
Mujhse tera kangaal msg box dekha nahi jaata.

Ummid ki Imarat deh gayi,
Aankhon se aansu ki nadi beh gayi,
Tumhaari kya izzat reh gayi,
Jab padosi ki ladki tumhe bhaiyya keh gayi!!!

Patni ne pati se ghusse mein kaha
Ab aur mujhse nahin jaata saha
Mere rishtedaron ko hi bura kehte ho
Pati bola, mat karo jhuta mere vishwas ko
Apni saas se zyada chahta hoon
Main hamesha tumhari saas ko

[ruchirapinge]

Phool khilte hain, khil kar bikhar jate hai,
Phool khilte hain, khil kar bikhar jate hain,
Yaade to dil me rehti hai, Dost mil kar bichad jate hai...

Ya khuda maaf karna tere is gunehgaar bande ko,
Jo tumhari chamatkaar me dakhil hota hai,
Sirf ye puchne ke liye aaya hu mein,
Ke kyu har raat ko mera dil rota hai...

Khuda kisiki muhabbat pe fida na kare,
Agar kare to zindagi bhar judaa na kare...

[ruchirapinge]

Heart Touching...

I was a just-born and she was Twenty-Five,
Though we were we, we were one.
I would cry out in Latin and she would respond in Greek,
I would learn nothing but she never got tired to teach.

I was surrounded by monsters eager to pull my cheek,
but they would vanish the moment I was wet and weep.
She would come running and hold me in her arms,
as if I had won the contest of the charms.

Now I was able to walk and chew,
and hey, I was two.
I and she could now understand each other,
I was her everything and she needed no other.

I would try to walk and fall down,
But knowing she was with me,
the fear of getting hurt was now gone.
We still could not converse that effectively,
But she would understand my needs so easily.

I could now roam about free,
because now I have turned three.
I was ready to join a new world,
my academic life was now gonna mould.

She would dress me as best as a prince,
but when I would come back,
she would need at least an hour to rinse.
I was now able to talk,
I was a ferry and she was my dock.

I still remember the child, whose shirt I had tore,
Hey buddy, I have turned four.
I now came home a little late,
Nevertheless finding her waiting at the gate.
She would hug me and carry me in her arms,
it felt like flying through the farms.
We now did the homework together,
I would spoil the home and she used to work.

Years passed and now I was fifteen,
and with each year I would forget to lean.
I wouldn't care for what she said,
because now I had become mean.
She would ask me to study for a good future,
but I was busy in a different culture.
Now I had many shes in my life,
I dreamed of having one of them as my wife.

I changed a lot which she did not teach,
She would try to hug me but I was out of reach.
She still waited for me at the gate,
but I would look at her with utmost hate.
She would be awake till late in the night,
because I wasn't home, I was in a fight.
She had so much to scold, but she never did say,
hoping to find me better the next day.
Time went on and now I am grown,
lost in the world of my own.

I and she, between us have a river,
I have left her for my career.
When I was young, for me, she sacrificed her ambitions,
but I don't care, I now have my own mission.
I am not with her now, I am in a different city,
she is so old now but I don't even pity.

She needs me now but I am nowhere to find,
in the race for appraisal, I have become blind.
In a few years from now, I will be two,
there will be in my life someone new.
Then I'll forget even to bother,
I am her son and she is my Mother.






Go someone is still waiting for you

[ruchirapinge]

5' 6" jiski height ho,

Jeans jiski tight ho,

Chehara jiska bright ho,

Umar 20 se 22 ho,

Aise apni Wife ho.

Sadak per sab kahe kya cute ho,

Bhid me sab kahe side ho, side ho,

America, Calcutta ya Jamshedpur paidaish ho,

Sas ki seva jiski khwahish ho

Aisi apni Wife ho.

Padosi jab baat kare to haath me knife ho,

Dinner ke time candle light ho,

Ham me tum me kabhi na koi fight ho,

Milane ke baad dil delight ho,

Hey prabhu teri 'Amrita' meri life ho.

Yeh kavita padhne ke baad log kahe "yaar, tum right ho",

Aise apni Wife ho.

Kaash yeh concept .0001 percent bhi right ho

Agar aisi apni wife ho to kya hasin life ho

Har kisi ki yahi farmaish ho

Kudrat ki bhi aajmaish ho

Khudah ke software mein bhi bug ki gunjaish ho

Ay kaash, kahin to ek aisi paidaish ho

Aisi apni wife ho

*******

[sreejeeta_premeer]

a few poems by me...hi hi ha ha


Are You Talking To Me?




"Are you talking to me?" she said passing by
"Yes, you ... you ... next to the bald-headed guy,
"I think you're real gorgeous ... that flaming red hair
Is exceedingly beautiful and really quite rare.

"I love the way that it curls round your face,
And the way that it seems your ears to embrace,
And the way that it darkens the green of your eyes,
And the way on your cheek that a loose tendril lies."

She took a deep breath as she paused in her stride,
Her lips slowly parted, her eyes opened wide,
She smiled as she whipped the wig from her head,
"If you like it so much, here, you wear it instead.

[sreejeeta_premeer]

I Am My Own Grandpa

Many, many years ago
When I was twenty-three
I got married to a widow
Pretty as could be.

This widow had a grow-up daughter
With flowing hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
Now my daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.

To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.

For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother.

Father's wife then had a son
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter's son.

My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She's my grandma, too.

If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.

For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw,
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa!

p.s-i took 3 months to write this poem...............hihi

[sreejeeta_premeer]

shayari time again.........(srry for posting only poems and shayari..i am not good at stories...ok i'll try someday)

1.Khuda Hi Khuda
Idhar khuda hai, udar khuda hai,
Jidar dekho udar khuda hai,
idhar-udhar bus khuda hi khuda hai
jidhar nahi khuda hai….udhar kal khudega!

2.Recent News Headlines : Softdrinks Contain Dangerous Pestcides.
Insan to newspaper padh sakte hain par janwaro ka
kya hoga kyonki…. Aaj kal CHEETAH BHI PEETA HAI !

3.Pyaar Ise Kehte Hain
Jawani ko zindage ki nikhaar kehte hain,
pathjad ko chaman ka majdhaar kehte hain,
Ajeeb chalan hain duniya ka yaaro,
Ek Dhoka hain Jise hum sab “PYAAR” kehte hain !

[sreejeeta_premeer]

chup rahte hain ki koi khata na ho jaye,

humse koi ruswa na ho jaaye.

badi mushkil se koi apna bana hai,

darte hain ki milne se pehle hi juda na ho jaye wo.....

[sreejeeta_premeer]

Kaise likhoon mai chandini raatien…

Kisi na kisi pe kisi ko aetbaar ho jata hai,
Ajnabi koi shaks yaar ho jata hai,
Khubiyon se nahin hoti mohabbat sadaa,
Khamiyon se bhi aksar pyar ho jata hai.

Kin lafzon mein itni kadvi kasili baat likhoon,
Main sach likoon ke apne haalat likhoon,
Kaise likhoon main chandni raatein,
Jab garam ho ret to kaise main barsat likhoon.

Sabhi nagme saaz mein gaaye nahi jaate,
Sabhi lowg mehfil mein bulaaye nahi jaate,
Kuch paas reh kar bhi yaad nahi aate,
Kuch door reh kar bhi bhoolaye nahi jaate!

Who ik dost jo pyara sa lagta hain,
Bahut pass hai dil k phir bhi juda sa lagta hain,
Bahut dino se aaya nahi koi paigam uska,
Shayad kisi baat pe khafa sa lagta hain

Zindagi to ek khwab hai,
Woh zindagi kiya jismay khwab nahi hotay,
Hath ke lakiron ko kismat na samajhna,
Kismat unke bhi hote hai, zinkay hath nahi hotay.

[sreejeeta_premeer]

Aaj ki raat

Aaj ki Raat toh Jee bhar ke mujhe rone de….
Na jaane kyun hame Aasu bahana nahi Aata…
Na jaane kyun Haal-E-Dil batana nahi Aata…
Kyun Saathi bichad jaate hai hameshaa …
Shayad hame hi saath nibhaana nahi Aata….

Intzar

Na chahte hue bhi ho gaya hume aapse pyar
Na chahte hue bhi hum gaye aap par dil haar
Na janu ye kaisi hai majhdhar
Ki ab toh dil ko har pal hai aap hi ka intzar

[sreejeeta_premeer]

Dard Ki Barish Sahi

Dard Ki Barish Sahi Maddham Zara Aahista Chal,
Dil Ki Mitti Hai Abhi Tak Nam Zara Aashista Chal,

Tere Milne Aur Phir Tere Bichhad Jane Ke Bich,
Faasla Ruswai Ka Hai Zara Aahista Chal,

Apne Dil Hi Mein Nahi Hai Uski Mehrumi Ki Yaad,
Uski Aankhon Mein Bhi Hai Shabnam Zara Aahista Chal,

Koi Hi Ho Humsafar Na Ho Khush Is Qadar,
Ab Ke Logon Mein Wafa Hai Kam Zara Aahista Chal….

[sreejeeta_premeer]

Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi,
Ek kami thi vo bhi puri ho gayi,
Pagal hain vo log jo kehte hain ki,
Chimpanzi ki aakhri nasal kahin kho gayi!!

********************************************

Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum
waqt-bewaqt aaye vo fever ho tum
Doob kar jisme marr jaoo vo River ho tum
Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum…

********************************************

Shaam hote hi ye Dil udaas hota hai
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai.

[ruchirapinge]

Test for Idiocy
B elow are four ( 4 ) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately . OK?


Let's find out just how clever you really are....



Ready? GO!!!



First Question:

Y ou are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?





~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~





Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are
absolutel! y wrong! If you overtake the second person, you take his place, so you are second!

Try not to screw up next time.
Now answer the second question,
but don't take as much time as you took for the first one, OK ?

Second Question:
I f you overtake the last person, then you are...?





~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~





Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?


You're not very good at this, are you?





Third Question:
V ery tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only .
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.



Take 1000 and add 40 to it.. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30 .
Add another 1000 Now add 20 . Now add another 1000
Now add 10 What is the total?




~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~


Did you get 5000 ?

The correct answer is actually 4100.



If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Ma ybe you'll get the last question right....
. Ma ybe.



Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the ! name of the fifth daughter?




~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

Did you Answer Nunu?
NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again!



Okay, now the bonus round:


A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By
imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully
expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is
done.


Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of
sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?




~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~






He just has to open his mouth and ask...
It's really very simple.... Like you!

[ruchirapinge]

Sardarji is in a Quiz Contest trying to win prize money of Rs.1 crore.





The questions are as follows:



1) How long was the 100 yr war?



A) 116
B) 99
C) 100
D) 150




Sardar says "I will skip this"





2) In which country are the Panama hats made?



A) BRASIL
B) CHILE
C) PANAMA
D) EQUADOR




Sardar asks for help from the University students





3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?



A) JANUARY
B) SEPTEMBER
C) OCTOBER
D) NOVEMBER




Sardar asks for help from general public




4) Which of these was King George VI first name?



A) EDER
B) ALBERT
C) GEORGE
D) MANOEL



Sardar asks for lucky cards





5) The Canary islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on
which animal:



A) CANARY BIRD
B) KANGAROO
C) PUPPY
D) RAT



Sardar gives up.









NOW SCROLL DOWN.......


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If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at Sardar's replies, then please check the answers below:

1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453



2) The Panama hat is made in Equador



3) The October revolution is celebrated in November



4) King George's first name was Albert.. In 1936 he changed his name.



5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which means islands of the puppies.

Now tell me who's the dumb one....Don't ever laugh at a Sardar again

..

[Preety Girl]

Awesome posts ruchi....yaar i hav enjoyed very much....hahahh:d

[ruchirapinge]

Awesome posts ruchi....yaar i hav enjoyed very much....hahahh:d

thanks for ur comments jaita:)

[ruchirapinge]

1>Ek baar pyar or dosti mile........


PYAR ne DOSTI se kaha tum kya karti ho?


DOSTI muskurakar boli "main un aankhon me muskaan deti hun jinme tum aansu chod jaate ho"
***************************

2>Milte hain ache DOST bus khushnaseebon ko,,,


meri kismat se jalna chod do..agar tammna hai mere


dost se milne ki to bus apni najar aayine ki or mod lo..
****************************

3>U know why GOD maid eyes in pair, ears in pair,hands in pair, legs in pair, but heart as Single?????


Just to find a heart of your choice n mane a pair..
****************************
4>TRUTH OF LIFE


Who wins in love , he may wins in the ilife


but 1 who fails in the love have the courage to face anyithing in life........
****************************
5>Speak less to people whom you love most......


coz if they cant understand ur silence ...they can never understand ur words....... ...
****************************
NOW TIME TO CHECK OUT FUNNY SMS

6>Two golden rules to need follow in your life


1 SANDY always right....... ..


2 Whenever u feel SANDY is wrong slap yourself n read rule no:1 again.......
****************************
7>AApki yadoon ko pepsi banakar piya karenge


bewaqt aapko miss kiya karenge,,, MAR bhi gaye to kya ,,,YAMRAAJ ke mobile se sms aapko kiya karenge...HA ...HA..... HA...
****************************
8>Galib ji ne apni girlfriend ko date pe bulaya


G.frn got late.....than Galib miyan said...


aasman ke taaro ko neend aa rahi hai ..........


aasman ke taaro ko neend aa rahi hai ...........


doosri ka time ho gya of tu ab aa rahi hai.....
****************************

SEMI ENGLISH SHAYARI
9>The janaza of mehboob nikla from the gali of mehbooba.... ...with lots of jor shor ..........


mehbooba came out from the door n boli mar gya haramkhor... ......... .
****************************


IDENTIFICATION OF STUDENT
10>1 Books in bag BIHAR..


2 Books in hands PUNE...


3 Rolled books in jeans MUMBAI


4Without books but mobile in hands DELHI WE ROCK
****************************


TIME TO DO SOME FILL UPS


11>"U" lagayo or tum banjaayo


1 M...RKH.


2 ST....PID


3 B...DH....


4 D....FFER


5 GHONCH....


6 BEWK...F
****************************
12>Hurry fill the blanks with the us of"Han" " Nahi"


1........... main insaan nahi hun...


2......main he chor hun...


3......mera koi elaaj nahi hai..


4.......main he idiot hunnnn..
****************************
13>keep the smile leave the tear


think of joy forget the fear


hold the laugh leave the pain


Be HAPPY till i SMS again

[ruchirapinge]

Just check this interesting link
http://www.arcanum.in/nofolder

[Preety Girl]

Ruchiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii awesome yaar..u r toooooooooooooooooo goooddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
luv u .....wow....maza aa gaya...hehe:)

[ruchirapinge]

Originally posted by Sravani
Do not save your loving speeches for your friends till they are dead. Do not write them on their tombstones, speak them rather now instead.

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. Friendship is one mind in two bodies.

Without humor, life sucks. Without courage, life is hard. Without love, life is hopeless. Without friends like you, life is impossible!

When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.
__________________

[ruchirapinge]

http://i34.tinypic.com/9sbjba.gif

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[ruchirapinge]

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[ruchirapinge]

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[ruchirapinge]

http://www.absoluteanime.com/reviews/cheetah_girls/index%5B4%5D.jpg

Aisa apna husband ho

6' - 6'2" jiski height ho

Jeans dheeli magar body tight ho

biwi ke har nakhre uthaye, itna mizaaj uska light ho

husband apna aisa bright ho.

uff tak na kare itna quiet ho

dinner banaye wo jab bhi romantic night ho

shopping kar ke jab bhi aoon, bole begum tum kitni nice ho

husband apna aisa bright ho.



mujhey rani bana kar rakhe, to phir zindagi delight ho

saas sasur ke samne kahe, jaan tum hamesha right ho

hamesha jo haar maan jaye jab bhi koi fight ho

husband apna aisa bright ho.



jahan chahoon jaoon, jo chahey karoon, kuch is tarah ki life ho

har doosre week ghoomne phirne ki flight ho

aisa ho jaye to mein udoon aasmaan mei, jaise ke koi kite ho

husband apna aisa bright ho !!!

[ruchirapinge]

http://i44.tinypic.com/29vj5ew.jpg

http://i43.tinypic.com/2gtno8h.jpg

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[ruchirapinge]

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[ruchirapinge]

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning
Kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the
Cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear
And comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something,It goes in both
Ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andrew says I'm ugly.What
Do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and
No one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again
Yesterday".

2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun
Or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need
It but the sun gives us light only in the day time
When we don't need it".

3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on
Talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

5) My father is so old that when he was in school,
History was called current affairs.

6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father
Is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father
That I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared,
Past year's performance repeated".

8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a
Donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be
Showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say
Prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good
Cook".

10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering
Doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show
That nine out of ten people die of the disease you
Have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others
All died".

11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of
COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married
On the same day and at the same time."

12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped
Down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand.

[ruchirapinge]

http://i41.tinypic.com/2lc634k.jpg

[ruchirapinge]

ATTITUDE.....


An old man lived alone in Minnesota . He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation:

Dear Son,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.
Love,
Dad

Shortly, the old man received this telegram: 'For Heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!!'

At 4 a.m. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what had happened, and asked him what to do next.

His son's reply was: 'Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the best I could do for you, from here.'

MORAL: NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART, YOU CAN DO IT. IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT MATTERS, NOT WHERE YOU ARE OR WHERE THE PERSON IS.

[pks555]

Thanx a lot..for nice gr888888 coments..here...
Really...i like it..very much..:) :D :cool:

[zaara09]

very nice ruchira......
good work ... :)

[ruchirapinge]

Originally Posted By Sravani

Friend: someone who tells you things while you are alive, things that others tell after you die.

I must have been born under a lucky star, to find a friend as nice as you are. I will follow the rainbow to the end, if you promise to remain my friend!

Life is not easy and it will never be, but you've got friends and one of them is me.

Friends are like stars, you don't see them all the time, but you know they're there!

I asked God for a flower, He gave me a garden. Asked for a tree, he gave me a forest. Asked for a river, He gave me an ocean. Asked for a friend, He gave me you.

[ruchirapinge]

Originally Posted By Sravani

What you see as truth, what you see as lies, remember that true friendship never dies. Although we may change and drift apart, i'll always value you deep within my heart!

There is a gift that gold cannot buy, a blessing thats rare and true, thats the gift of a wonderful friend like the friend that I have in you!

When i'm walking in front of you, i'm protecting you. When i'm beside you i'm there for you, when i'm behind you, I'm watching over you. When i'm alone, i'm thinking of you.

We've known each other by CHANCE, became friends by CHOICE, still friends by DECISION. And when we say FRIEND FOREVER, that's definitely a lifetime PROMISE!

Wherever you go, whatever you do, may God's angels watch over you.

[ruchirapinge]

Originally Posted By Sravani

Memories that today
Just a whisper brings to mind.
thoughts of you
taking me back in time.

A moment frozen in my mind.
A time so special

Now a time of certainty
Wishing we had known then,
what we know today.
A love so strong
will never fade away

[pks555]

dosti hoti nahi bhool jane ke liye,
dost hote nahi bichhad jane ke liye,
dosti karke khush rahoge itna ki,
waqt nahi milega aansu bahane ke liye.
HI(\\\\_ _/) (\\_ _//)
(=“•“=) (=“•“=)
(“) ? (“) (“) ? (“)
¦¦¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦
¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦
¦¦¦ Make a friend, is a gift ¦¦¦
¦¦¦¦ Have a friend, is a Grace ¦¦¦
¦ Maintain a friend, is a virtue ¦
¦¦¦ But, have you as like friend ¦¦¦¦
¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ is a ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦
¦¦¦¦ great happiness ¦¦¦
¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦
¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦

: ****__********__***
........ (''''(`-``'´´-´)'''')
..........).....--.......--....(
........./.....(6..._...6)....\
.........\........(..0..)....;../
......__.`.-._..'='..._.-.`.__
..../......'###.,.--.,.###.'...\
....\__))####'#'###(((__/
......##### u r #####
........### SWEET. ###
....../....#########...\
..__\.....\..######/...../

[pks555]

Sannu chann chann na keh sajjna,
asi ambro tutte tare haa,
Sanu ena na tarphaya kar,
asi pehlan hi gaman de mare ha,
Sada mur mur maran nu ji karda,
asi jewnde tere sahaare ha,
Sade ene imithayan na le,
asi thorriyan ummaraan wale ha :) :D :cool:

[zaara09]

wowwwwwwww..
preeti di n ruchira good going........
keep posting

[pks555]

wowwwwwwww..
preeti di n ruchira good going........
keep posting

U r alwasys most wlcome zaara dear...
thanx that u like it...:)
ya sure jarur posting..ok..:D :cool:

[ruchirapinge]

Originally posted by sravani:)

Friendship is something special,
it can not be bought or sold
Its value is far greater
than any silver or even gold

When times get rough,
they always seem to understand
Without being asked,
they comfort and lend a helping hand

Holding you up
when they think you will fall
No matter what,
they help you through it all

Friends lift you up,
when you are feeling low
They take you in
when you have no place to go

Never ever forget
or take such things for granted
For you can never re-sow
the seed that's already been planted

Take this to heart,
let it never be undone
In order to keep a friend
you must first be one

Honesty is something
that should always be your aim
With lies, their wounds may heal,
but nothing's ever the same

So cherish your friendship,
always be sincere
Open up your heart,
and it will never disappear

[ruchirapinge]

Originally posted by sravani;)

sometime my mind ask why i miss u
why i care for u,why i remember u
then my heart answers
its simply because ur a sweet friend

a friend give hope when life is low
a friend is a place where u have nowhere to go
a friend is honest,and friend is true
a friend is precious and that friend is u

[ruchirapinge]

This has got to be one of the cleverest emails I've received in a while.
Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!


FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE

When you rearrange the letters:


FLIT ON CHEERING ANGEL



DILIP VENGSARKAR

When you rearrange the letters:


SPARKLING DRIVE



PRINCESS DIANA

When you rearrange the letters:


END IS A CAR SPIN



MONICA LEWINSKY

When you rearrange the letters:


NICE SILKY WOMAN



ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:


MOON STARER



DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:


A ROPE ENDS IT



THE EYES:

When you rearrange the letters:


THEY SEE


GEORGE BUSH:

When you rearrange the letters:


HE BUGS GORE



THE MORSE CODE

When you rearrange the letters:


HERE COME DOTS



SLOT MACHINES:

When you rearrange the letters:


CASH LOST IN ME



ELECTION RESULTS:

When you rearrange the letters:


LIES - LET'S RECOUNT



SNOOZE ALARMS:

When you rearrange the letters:


ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S



A DECIMAL POINT:

When you rearrange the letters:


IM A DOT IN PLACE



THE EARTHQUAKES:

When you rearrange the letters:


THAT QUEER SHAKE



ELEVEN PLUS TWO:

When you rearrange the letters:


TWELVE PLUS ONE



AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:


MOTHER-IN-LAW:

When you rearrange the letters:


WOMAN HITLER :D


Bet your friends haven't seen this one!!!

[ruchirapinge]

Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?

Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller: I'm Sum Wan .And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.

Operator: I know u are someone and u want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother, Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Rightnow, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital from the accident that isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Lee.

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!

[ruchirapinge]

A man walks into a bar in London and ordered 3-glasses of beer
and sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in
turn.

When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more.
The bartender asks him, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the
glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time."

The man replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in
Dubai, the other in Canada and I'm here in London.

When they left home, we promised that we'll drink this way to remember
the days when we drank together.


The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there.

The man became a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.
He order 3-Beers and drinks them in turn.

One day, he came in and ordered only 2-Beers All the other regulars
notice and fall silent.


When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says,"
I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my sincere
condolences on your great loss. "

The man looked confused for a moment, then he laughs .... "Oh, no,"
he, said, "Everyone's fine - both my brothers are alive" .


" The only thing is

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I just quit drinking!!!

[ruchirapinge]

Bill Gates was in India last year. He announced that Microsoft plans to release a Windows version in Hindi. Here are some of the Windows related terms that have been approved by Bill Gates to be used in the Hindi version of... Khidkiyan 2000:
( More appropriately Atyant Mulayam Khidkiyan 2000 )

Atyant Mulayam = Microsoft
Khidki = Window
Phaail = File
Bachao = Save
Aise Bachao = Save as
Subko Bachao = Save All
Mujhe Bachao = Help
Madad Pe Madad = Help On Help
Dhoondo = Find
Firse Dhoondo = Find Again
Hilao = Move
Chaara = Options
Bura sandesh yaa phail naam = Bad command or file name
Garbh girao, Firse koshish karo, Naakaamyab = Abort, retry,fail
chhavo = Tile
Aadmi Bhejo = Send Mail
Daak = Mail
Daakiya = Mailer
Bhaago = Run
Chhaapo = Print
Dekh Ke Chhaapo = Print Preview
Chipkao = Paste
Khaas Chipkao = Paste Special
Mitao = Delete
Kagaz Uper = Page Up
Kagaz Neeche = Page Down
Anth = End
Saaf karo = Clear
Sab Kuch Saaf Karo = Clear All
Makan = Home
Topi Ka Tala = CapsLock
Hathiyaar = Tools
Khuli Chaadar = Spreadsheet
Futaas Ki Goli Kha = Exit
Ped = Tree
Chooha = Mouse
Chooha Chalak = Mouse Driver (Software)
Tik-Tik Karo = Click
Idhar-se-Udhar,Udhar-se-Idhar Wala Danda = Scrollbar
Pardha = Screen
Pardha Bachanewala = Screen Saver
Krimi = Virus
Tika = Anti Virus
Karo = Do
Galthi = Error
Ghusao = Insert
Pahle Ghusao = Insert Before
Beech Mein ghusao = Insert Between
Baadhme Ghusao = Insert After
Chabi Phalak = Key board
Choohha Ka Bisthar = Mouse Pad
Avaaz Phodney Wali Cheez = Sound Blaster
Antarjatiya Jaal = InterNet
Baath Cheeth Dabba = Dialog Box
Chale? = Exit?

[sweety981]

nice joke yaarrrrrr

[ruchirapinge]

1. You are reading my post.










2. Now you are saying/thinking, "That's a stupid fact."










4. You didn't notice that I skipped #3.










5. You are checking it now.










6. You are smiling.










7. You are still reading my post.










8. You know all you have read is true.










10. You didn't notice that I skipped #9.










11. You are checking it now.










12. You didn't notice that there are only 10 facts.











:D:D:D:D

[ruchirapinge]

Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigarette... ? "

************ ********* ***

Class teacher once said :

" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"

************ ********* ***

once Hindi teacher said...."I'm going out of the world to America.."

************ ********* ***

"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."

************ ********* ***

don't. laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....

************ ********* ***

it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said

" why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)

************ ********* ***

teacher in a furious mood...

write down ur name and father of ur name!!

************ ********* ***

"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"

************ ********* ***

My manager started like this

"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"

************ ********* ***

"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board

************ ********* ***

"will u hang that calendar or else I'll HANG MYSELF"

************ ********* ***

LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

************ ********* ***

Chemistry HOD comes and tells us...

"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"

************ ********* ***

Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father

************ ********* ***

"why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!"

************ ********* ***

Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..

"I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??

************ ********* ***

Seeing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..

"Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"

[ruchirapinge]

What's on the other side of Mt.Rushmor<wbr>e!




I am sure you have seen this photo before….
















But have you ever wondered…



What's on the other side!















http://i41.tinypic.com/2zjj21y.jpg











http://i39.tinypic.com/6z4g1c.jpg
:D:D

[ruchirapinge]

1. Chewing on gum while cutting onions can help a person from stop producing tears. Try it next time you chop onions!!!!!!!!!!

2. Until babies are six months old, they can breathe and swallow at the same time. Indeed convenient!

3. Offered a new pen to write with, 97% of all people will write their own name.

4. Male mosquitoes are vegetarians. Only females bite.

5. The average person's field of vision encompasses a 200-degree wide angle.

6. To find out if a watermelon is ripe, knock it, and if it sounds hollow then it is ripe.

7. Canadians can send letters with personalized postage stamps showing their own photos on each stamp.

8. Babies' eyes do not produce tears until the baby is approximately six to eight weeks old.

9. It snowed in the Sahara Desert in February of 1979.

10. Plants watered with warm water grow larger and more quickly than plants watered with cold water.

11. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

12. Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave.

13. Those stars and colours you see when you rub your eyes are called phosphenes.

14. Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

15. Everyone's tongue print is different, like fingerprints.

16. Contrary to popular belief, a swallowed chewing gum doesn't stay in the gut. It will pass through the system and be excreted.

17. At 40 Centigrade a person loses about 14.4 calories per hour by breathing.

18. There is a hotel in Sweden built entirely out of ice; it is rebuilt every year.

19. Cats, camels and giraffes are the only animals in the world that walk rightfoot, right foot, left foot, left foot, rather than right foot,leftfoot
20. Onions help reduce cholesterol if eaten after a atty meal.

21. The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.

[ruchirapinge]

1. You ask for small drink at fast food restaurant because the refill
is free.

2. You know more than one plan offered by long distance
companies.

3. You take plain water instead of Coke for lunch. (may also be
a health nut)

4. You take any drink with no ice because you can't drink ice.

5. You ask before eating any meat "Is this beef?".

6. You try to ignore all other unknown desi's around you.

7. You tell your friends about this wonderful opportunity, and invite
them to an Amway meeting

8. You know all the facilities available at public library.

9. You talk to americans as if you represent your whole country.

10. Your stove top in your apartment is covered with aluminum foil.

11. You frequent to yard sales every week.

12. You find taco bell sauce packets in your kitchen drawer.

13. Your dinner involves spreading newspaper on the living room floor.

14. You take off your shoes before stepping foot in your living room.

15. You like onion rings at Burger King.

16. You are looking for dual voltage appliances.

17. The phrase "When are you going to India" comes into your
conversation at least once a day.

18. You bought Toyota or Honda car only because it has better
resale value.

19. The number of long distance calls is more than domestic calls.

20. You keep switching your internet service provider because the
first month is free.

21. You go back to your apartment for lunch.

22. Your full name contains more than 15 characters.

23. You know all the $1.50 theaters in your city.

24. The only reason you go to a temple on festivals is because there
is free food.

25. You have spent nights in the car while traveling because you
wanted to save money spent on cheap motel.

26. You don't know any American outside your work.

27. You tried to flirt with the Hindi speaking
operator at AT&T.

28. You have at least one India made pressure cooker in your kitchen.

29. You know how much a 7 layer burrito costs at Taco Bell.

30. You run to Laundromat in your lungi.

31. You put oil in your hair.

32. You have a picture of Indian deity on the dashboard of your car.

33. This thought comes to you "Oh shit I just saw another desi" when
you are window shopping at the mall.

34. You keep comparing prices at circuit city for the phone you bought
six months ago.

35. The lawyer handling your green card is in your speed dial.

36. You are compelled to visit ever major city in the US, just so as
to say that "Yes I have been there"

37. You are comfortable with an American than an ABCD.

38. You have been to Mexico or Canada for multiple entry H1 Visa.
39. You pay your bills the day they come in mail.

40. You spent 2 days cleaning your apartment before leaving so you can
get full security refund from landlord.

41. You have a bucket in your bath tub.

42. You have to borrow luggage from friends for an India visit.

43. The smoke detector goes off whenever you are cooking dinner.

44. You know which grocery store keeps coriander.

45. You buy butter milk before you run out of it.

46. You use grocery bags as garbage bags.

47. You say 'Damn I have already seen this show" whenever you are
watching Married With Children.

48. You buy rice in the 20 pound bags.

49. Office supplies mysteriously find their way into your house.

50. You don't want to buy a printer because you can always use the
office printer.

51. You have postponed buying that answering machine because the
computer you are planning to buy six months later has a built
answering machine.

52. Your idea of fun involves bowling.

53. You starts spelling your name to the operator like A as in Apple,
B as in boy, T as in train...well you get the idea.

54. You ask another desi if he/she ever got a traffic ticket.

55. You haven't had a single female in your apartment besides your
friend's wife.

56. You bring over the counter medicines like Iodex and Vicks from
India.

57. You decide to marry a girl, your parents fixed without even
meeting her.

58. You know the current differential in gold prices between India and
US.

59. You smell like a curry.

60. You go to a temple to pick up a women.

61. You have worked illegally in a Guju's motel.

62. You mark your forehead with scared ash.

63. You have a bought a video camera just before Niagara trip and
returned it after the trip.

64. You wear VIP/Indian brand underwear and undershirts.

65. You have Rin (detergent soap cake) in your bathroom.

66. You have taken pictures of your car and mailed it to your folks
back home.

67. You use the credit card with maximum cash back.

68. You have collected enough frequent flier miles for an
international trip.

69. You are saving more that 30% of your salary.

70. You have never asked a girl out.

71. You've bookmarked immigration web pages in your browser.

72. You know your friends salaries!

73. You tried to talk in a phony accent with the freshie in the
school.

74. You have asked a PhD student for a ride to grocery store.

75. There are more that 4 guys living in a 2 bedroom apartment.

76. You have cooking schedule in your kitchen cabinet.

77. You spend at least 2 evenings in a week at Kmart.

78. You split even the tax out of your common grocery bill.

79. You complain about Indian international airports on your first
vacation to India.

80. You take 4 week long vacation.

81. You are the first to know about any on campus job openings at
the school library/cafeteria/computer center.

[RAKSHAL]

There once was a man who had nothing for his family to eat. He had an old rifle and three bullets. So, he decided that he would go out hunting and kill some wild game for dinner.As he went down the road, he saw a rabbit. He shot at the rabbit and missed it. The rabbit ran away.Then he saw a squirrel and fired a shot at the squirrel and missed it. The squirrel disappeared into a hole in a cottonwood tree.

As he went further, he saw a large wild “Tom” turkey in the tree, but he had only one bullet remaining. A voice spoke to him and said, “Pray first, aim high and stay focused.”

However, at the same time, he saw a deer which was a better kill. He brought the gun down and aimed at the deer. But, then he saw a rattlesnake between his legs about to bite him, so he naturally brought the gun down further to shoot the rattlesnake. Still, the voice said again to him, “I said ‘Pray, Aim high and Stay focused.” So, the man decided to listen to God’s voice.

He prayed, then aimed the gun high up in the tree and shot the wild turkey. The bullet bounced off the turkey and killed the deer. The handle fell off the gun and hit the snake in the head and killed it. And, when the gun had gone off, it knocked him into a pond. When he stood up to look around, he had fish in all his pockets, a dead deer and a turkey to eat for his family.

The snake (Satan) was dead simply because the man listened to God.

Moral of the story:

Pray first before you do anything, Aim and shoot high in your goals, and stay focused on God.

Never let others discourage you concerning your past. The past is exactly that, “the past.”

Live every day one day at a time and remember that only God knows our future and that he will not put you through any more than you can bear. Do not look to man for your blessings, but look to the doors that only He has prepared in advance for you in your favor.

Wait, be still and patient: keep God first and everything else will follow.

Pass this on in order that someone else might be blessed.
FROM ONE FRIEND TO ANOTHER…

“Do not ask the Lord to guide your footsteps, if you’re not willing to move your feet.”

[ruchirapinge]

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in! one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

! 7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".

Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".

10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".

11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."

12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
.

[ruchirapinge]

PROFESSOR :
Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jante ho?
MUNNA BHAI :
Gandhi bahut zabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam, par apun ko yeh nehin maloom ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.

*****

CIRCUIT :
Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai. Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI :
Aye Circuit, woh Sabrina ka baap aya hai tere ko dund rehla hai.
CIRCUIT :
Bhai usko bolo apun gaoon gayea hai, kheti karne ko.
MUNNA BHAI :
Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.
CIRCUIT :
Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.

*****

CIRCUIT :
Bhai, woh apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla hai aaj raat ko dinner pe. Mera sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please.
MUNNABHAI :
Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT :
Nehin Bhai, woh apnay chain pechan lega.

*****

MUNNA BHAI :
Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT :
Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI :
Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT :
Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.

*****

Circuit takes a flight to Singapore and he is seated next to an Englishman. Circuit open his tiffin and serves himself a roti.
ENGLISHMAN :
What is this?
CIRCUIT :
Bread India
Circuit then open the box of jalebi.
ENGLISHMAN :
What is this?
CIRCUIT :
Sweet India
With all the food he hogged on, Munna farts. The Englishman is offended and in shock asks ...
ENGLISHMAN :
What is that?
CIRCUIT :
Air India

*****

CIRCUIT :
Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?
SHORT CIRCUIT :
Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.

*****

PRINCIPAL :
Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI :
Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

[ruchirapinge]

Equation 1


=============


Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy

Therefore:
Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work

In other words,
A Human that doesn't know how to enjoy = Donkey that works.



++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ ++ ++

Equation 2

Man = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Man = Donkey + earn money

Therefore:
Man-earn money = Donkey

In other words
Man who doesn't earn money = Donkey


++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +

Equation 3

Woman= eat + sleep + spend
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Woman = Donkey + spend
Woman - spend = Donkey

In other words,
Woman who doesn't spend = Donkey

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +

To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3

Man who doesn't earn money = Woman who doesn't spend

So Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey!
And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey!

So, We have:
Man + Woman = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money

Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!

[ruchirapinge]

It's an old story that we read in Class 3 but with a new ending...

A hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to take a nap under
one of the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by the side. A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone.
He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and
they had taken all his hats.

The hat seller sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats down. While thinking he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the
monkeys were doing the same.

Next, he took down his own hat, the monkeys did exactly the same. An
idea came to his mind* He took his hat and threw it on the floor and the monkeys did that too. So he finally managed to get all his hats back.

Fifty years later, his grandson, John, also became a hat-seller
and had heard this monkey story from his grandfather.

One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest. It
was very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor.

He woke up and realized that all his hats were taken by the monkeys on the tree.

He remembered his grandfather's words, started scratching his head and the monkeys followed. He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys followed.

Now, very convinced of his grandfather's idea, John threw his
hat on the floor but to his surprise, the monkeys still held on to all the hats.

Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat on the floor, gave him a slap and Guess!!! Said what???



****************

*************..

***********..

*********..

********

*****..

****.

***

**.

*.

*

..

.

.

.





"You think only you have a grandfather !!!???"


http://i40.tinypic.com/15d83na.jpg

[zaara09]

wowwww.. lolzzzzzzzz :D :D
nice collection ruchira ,....

[Rupalie Agarwal]

A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules here in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".

2. How many seconds are there in a year?

The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...

1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.

2. There are 12 seconds in a year. Saint Peter said, "OK, Ill buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even though its not the answer I expected.

But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?" The Singh replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc..." Saint Peter opens the gate without another word.

[Rupalie Agarwal]

After making a trip of South India , Santa Singh ,his wife and his son were returning to punjab in Tamilnadu Express. Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed. When Santa and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand hindi had occupied his son's birth . Outraged, Santa Singh called the TT and asked him to help. TT requested that he could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in English. Santa Singh explained , " That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."

[ruchirapinge]

An Indian politician went to the US to visit his counterpart. When the

senator invited him home for dinner, the minister was very impressed

by the lavish mansion, grounds and the costly furnishings. He asked

"How can you afford all this on a meagre senator's salary?"

The senator smiled knowingly and took him to the window.

"Can you see the river?"

"Yes"

"Can you see the bridge over it?"

"Of course", said the minister.

"10 percent", said the senator smugly.


Some time later, he had occasion to pay a return visit. The Indian

minister lavished all hospitality on him. When they came to his

house, the American was stunned by the huge palace the minister had

built, glittering with precious art, hundreds of servants etc. etc.

"How can you possibly afford this, on a salary in RS?', he asked.

The minister called him to the window.

"See the river over there?"

"Sure", cried the senator.

"Can you see the bridge over it?"

The senator looked, was confused, peered closely and said -

"No, I don't see any bridge."

"100 percent", said the minister !!

[ruchirapinge]

This is just meant to be a joke. http://www.lovelypk.com/images/smilies/smile.gif...dnt take it seriously
Scenario 1
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along,then a fourth and they start arguing about who's right.You are in Kolkata

Scenario 2
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along,sees them and walks on.That's "Amchi Mumbai"...busy place dude...

Scenario 3
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes, along & tries to make peace... The first two get together & beat him up. That's Delhi

Scenario 4
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly opens a chai-stall That's Ahmedabad.

Scenario 5
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes he Writes a software program to stop the fight. But the fight doesn't stop b'cos of a bug in the program. That's Bangalore ..

Scenario 6
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch.
A Guy comes along and quietly says that "AMMA" doesn't Like all this nonsense. Peace comes in. That's Chennai.

Scenario 7
Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out and call their friends on their mobiles Now 50 guys are fighting. You are DEFINITELY IN PUNJAB !!!

Scenario 8
Two guys are fighting. Third guy comes along with a carton of beer. All sit together drinking beer and abusing each other and all go home as friends. You are in Goa .

Scenario 9
Two guys are fighting. Third guy comes and resolve their fight with the help of others passing over their. You are in the Heart of India ( M.P).

[ruchirapinge]

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.


Candidate: I am SAMEER GUPTA. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.


Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!


Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it . What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money".(The baap actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.



Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.


Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.


Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.


Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.


Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.


Candidate: No, no... I am talking about Exams!!


Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?


Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.


Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?


Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself was so much of pain!!


Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?


Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai)


Interviewer: And which languages have you used?


Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages.


Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?


Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!


Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?


Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.


Interviewer: What is your general project experience?


Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of the times they are in pipeline!


Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?


Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.


Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?


Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like - 'Showstoppers ' , 'hotfixes','SEI- CMM','quality','versioncontrol','deadlines' , 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!


Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?



Candidate: Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have
deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 2-4 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and
Europe. But considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in 2007, I don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?



Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to INFOSYS .. :-))

[ruchirapinge]

Girls of 1960 & Today

1960 Girl:
Jiya bekaraar hai,
aayee bahaar hai,
Aaja more saajna,
tera intejaar hai !


Today's Girl:
Jiya bekaraar hai,
aayee bahaar hai,
Aaja more saajna,
verna doosra taiyaar hai !


Boyz also :p

Boy in 1960

Kis se pyar karu
kis kis se pyar karu
ye bhi hai, vo bhi hai
haye haye hayeeeeee


Today's Boy

Ishq mohobbat, pyar ki baate, bekar ki bate
jhuthe hai sare wade, kasme na jane, rasme naa mane
kare vo jo thane, hum to bigde shehjade .....


Oh wow...boys are still on d same track:lol:

[ruchirapinge]

Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.



Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.



Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.



Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.



Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.



Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.



Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.



Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.



Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.



Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that You actually look forward to the trip.



Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.



Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.



Father : A banker provided by nature.



Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"



Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.



Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.



Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.



Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says midway "See I am not injured yet."



Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.



Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.



Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.



Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.

[ruchirapinge]

~*~ Thoughts from Men's Heart ~*~




Thought 1

When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.

When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.

When we die, our widows get the life insurance.

What do women want to be liberated from?



Thought 2

The average man's life consists of:

Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,

Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;

and at the end, the mourners wondering too.



Thought 3

A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, 'If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.' The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.

He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, 'Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die.' The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.

The man asked. 'Who are you?' 'I am your guardian angel,' the voice answered. 'Oh, yeah?' the man asked 'And where the hell were you when I got married?'



Thought 4

Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.

The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something. So he announced 'Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life..' Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, 'My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me.'

The whole audience including priest started laughing....

...... But not the poor groom!!!!

[ruchirapinge]

Teen age:

Have Time + Energy but No Money

http://img181.imageshack.us/img181/7043/85011149.jpg

Working Age:

Have Money + Energy but No Time

http://img95.imageshack.us/img95/5167/16639351.jpg

Old age:

Have Time + Money but no Energy

http://img441.imageshack.us/img441/7186/19666534.jpg

[ruchi.mca]

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.


Candidate: I am SAMEER GUPTA. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.


Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!


Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it . What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money".(The baap actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.



Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.


Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.


Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.


Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.


Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.


Candidate: No, no... I am talking about Exams!!


Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?


Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.


Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?


Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself was so much of pain!!


Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?


Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai)


Interviewer: And which languages have you used?


Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages.


Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?


Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!


Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?


Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.


Interviewer: What is your general project experience?


Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of the times they are in pipeline!


Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?


Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.


Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?


Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like - 'Showstoppers ' , 'hotfixes','SEI- CMM','quality','versioncontrol','deadlines' , 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!


Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?



Candidate: Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have
deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 2-4 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and
Europe. But considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in 2007, I don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?



Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to INFOSYS .. :-))



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[pks555]

Ek mulakat anjan hoti hai,

Anjan se hi to pehchan hoti hai.

Jaha dekho waha ishq ke bimar bethe hai,

Hajaro mar chuke hai lekin sekdo taiyar bethe hai.

[pks555]

hasna hamara kisi ko gawara nahi hota
Har musafir jindagi ka sahara nahi hota
Milte hai bahot log is tanha jindagi mein
Par koi DOST tumsa pyara nahi hota!

[smileplz]

Ye zameen ki fitrat hai k har cheez ko jazb kar leti hai
'' . . . .

warna mere ansuo ka aik alag samundar hota.

[smileplz]

Khätm Apni Chähton Ka Silsila Kaise Hua,.?

Wo To Mujh Main Jäzb Tha,
Mujh Se Juda Kaise Hua,.?

Woh Jo us k Or Mere,
Därmiyan Aik Baat Thi,.

Aao Sochain,
Shehar Us Se Aäshna Kaise Hua,.?

Chubh Gäyeen Seeney Mein, Tooti Khawhishon Ki Kirchiyaan,.

Kia Likhon, Dil Tootne Ka Haädsa Kaise Hua,.?

Jo Räg-e-Jaan Tha Kabhi,
Milta Hai Ab Rukh Phair Kär,.

Sochti Hon, Is Qädar Woh Bewäfa Kaise Hua.

[smileplz]

Milnay ka jhoota iqrar kartay hain
Chahnay ka galat iqrar kartay hain

Raah tak tak ke thak gayae naina
Vadon ka jhoota bevpaar kartay hain

Abhi aayaingay aur abhi milaingay
Mun ko yuhin beqarar kartay hain

Raah!bhi aaj hui hy khamosh
Milnay ka jhoota izhar kartay hain

[smileplz]

Kuchh adhuri khwahishon ka silsila hai zindagi,
Manzilon se ek musalsal fasala hai zindagi !

Mere darwaze pe dastak de ke chhup Jane ka khel,
Kab talak khelegi eh kya bachpana hai zindagi !

Tere afsane to mai sunta raha Hun baraha,
Naam kya tune kabhi mera suna hai zindagi !

Zinda Hun doston ki duaaon ke bawajud,
Roshan hai kitani tej hawaon is zindagi !

Apani tamam shokh adaaon ke bawajud,
Bahla saki na jee mera eek pal bhi zindagi !

Bojhil hai rat chand sitaron ke bawajud,
Suraj ke bawajud andhera hai zindagi !

Barbaad hamko hona tha barbad ham huye,
Duniya hai sari nek salahon is zindagi !

Kaatil the jitane mere sabhi ho gaye bari,
Aur chup khadi thi chasm E deed gawahon si zindagi

[alizasheik]

Kuchh adhuri khwahishon ka silsila hai zindagi,
Manzilon se ek musalsal fasala hai zindagi !

Mere darwaze pe dastak de ke chhup Jane ka khel,
Kab talak khelegi eh kya bachpana hai zindagi !

Tere afsane to mai sunta raha Hun baraha,
Naam kya tune kabhi mera suna hai zindagi !

Zinda Hun doston ki duaaon ke bawajud,
Roshan hai kitani tej hawaon is zindagi !

Apani tamam shokh adaaon ke bawajud,
Bahla saki na jee mera eek pal bhi zindagi !

Bojhil hai rat chand sitaron ke bawajud,
Suraj ke bawajud andhera hai zindagi !

Barbaad hamko hona tha barbad ham huye,
Duniya hai sari nek salahon is zindagi !

Kaatil the jitane mere sabhi ho gaye bari,
Aur chup khadi thi chasm E deed gawahon si zindagi

awesome share........ keep posting..:D

[smileplz]

thanks aliza......

[smileplz]

Na raasta sujhayi deta hai
Na manzil dikhayi deti hai
Na lafz zubaan per aate hain
Na dharkan sunayi deti hai

Ek ajeeb si kaifiyat ne
Aan ghera hai mujhe.....
Ke her surat main ......
Teri surat dikhayi deti hai

Yeh milna aur bicharr jaana
Kab apne bas ki baat hai
Kismat hi milati hai hum ko
Kismat hi juddai deti hai

Her baar yeh hi hota hai
Koi humain bataye to sahi
Jo tum se nahi keh paate hain
Dharkan se sunayi deta hai

Tum jaante ho kya tum se kahen
Bechain bohat Dil hota hai
Jab paas nahi hote ho
Door saari KHUDAYI hoti hai

[smileplz]

aaj barson ke baad dekha hai

ab bhi aankhon ka rang gehra hai

aur maathe ki sanwli si lakeer

dil mein kitne diay jalati hai


teri qamat ke saey ki khushboo

guftugu mein bahar ka mosam

be sabab aetbar ka mosam

kyun mujhey sare dhang yad rahey

kitni hairan hogai khud par

main tujhey aaj tak nahin bhooli

pichley mosam ki yad baqi hai