Something To Help You Smile :)

[imbusy]

marriages are made in heaven , then what are made in Hell?
Ans : the days after marriage

During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom made to sit on the horse ?
He is given his last chance to run away.

I wrote ur name on the sand .............
it got washed away,
I wrote ur name in air..........................
it got blown away,
So i wrote ur name in my heart.............
I got a HEART ATTACK



LOVE is like a CIGAR
It starts with a fire..... continues with smoke.....and ends in ashes...
But dont worry - we are chain smokers


ur smile can be compared to a flower
ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo
ur inocence to a child
but in stupidity
u have no comparison
u r the best


True love is like a pillow
u can hug when u r in trouble
u can cry on when u r in pain & u can embrace when u r happy
so when u need true love
spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow



Dear Friend,

when i ask u flower,
u give me bouquet
when i ask u a stone
u give me a statue
when i ask u a feather
u give me peacock

ARE U REALLY DEAF ?



I had VODKA with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had WHISKY with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had RUM with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I SWEAR I'LL NEVER DRINK water....!!!


when i call u;
1 ring means i'm thinking of u;
2 ring means i like u;
3 means i miss u;
4 means .........pick d phone idiot


Teacher : four beautiful ladies r walking on the road. change it to exclamatory sentence ..
Student : WOW !


The human brain is most outstanding thing.......
it functions 24hrs 365 days.....
it functions right from the time u r Born....until you fall in love


SMILE - is a language of love
SMILE - is a source to win hearts...
SMILE - creates greatness in ur personality
SO....
Brush ur Teeth today onwards


A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..
A beer shortens your life by 4 min..
A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..


History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ?
Student : sir, i am not sure but I think from page 15 to 26 sir....


Teacher : U failure ! @ ur age Bill gates stood first in the class
Student : Mind u, Sir, but @ ur age hitler commited suicide


21st CENTURY LIFELESSNESS..!!
Our communication - Wireless,
Our telephone - Cordless,
Our cooking - Fireless,
Our youth - Jobless,
Our religion - Creedless,
Our food - Fatless,
Our faith - Godless,
Our labor - Effortless,
Our conduct - Worthless,
Our relation - Loveless,
Our attitude - Careless
Our feelings - Heartless,
Our politics - Shameless,
Our education - Valueless,
Our Follies - Countless,
Our arguments - Baseless,
Our bosses - hopeless, Finally,
Our Salary - Veryless,
This message - meaningless, and........... ..the person who is reading this - useless


What will you call the value meal consisting of a bun bread, tea and Pepsi?
Bun Tea and Bubbly

If Vivek Oberoi marries Aishwarya and becomes Joru Ka Ghulam what will he be called?
Vivek – Obey - Rai
.................................................. .................................................. ................
What would you call Adnan Sami if he becomes half his size?
Adnan Semi
.................................................. .................................................. ................
What will a mother tell her son who is sleeping on a footpath and refuses to get up?
Beta Uth Jaa Warna Salman Aa Jaayega (Get up else Salman will come)


Ek teacher ne sardar se puchha "akal badhi ya bhais "
Sardar bola "Sir pehle date of birth to batao".


Last night i met 7 angels and they wanted to meet a very intelligent guy, so i gave them ur address. dekha unko kaise ULLU banaya.


Doctors & nurses waiting 4 a mental operation.the operation is not yet started b'coz the mental is still busy reading this message.... Ha Ha Ha.


When I C the moon I C U
When I C the stars I C U
When I C the Sea I C U
Get out of the way you are blocking my view

[divs23]

Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card.
>
Q: Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?
A:Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an
Aspirin.
>
Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because it fell asleep.
>
Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was glued to the first one.
>
Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was a copy cat.
>
Q: Why did the fourth elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It thought this was all a game.
>
Q: And why did the tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant.
>
Q: What does an elephant and a blueberry have in common?
A: They're both blue, except for the elephant.
>
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw 1,000 elephants coming over the hill?
A: Look, there's 1,000 elephants coming over the hill.
>
Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.
>
Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns
blue, then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
>
Q: How do you shoot a green elephant?
A: Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he
turns blue, then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
>
Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Aw, come on, have you ever seen a yellow elephant !?!
>
Q: Why do elephants have red eyes?
A: So they can hide themselves better in cherry trees.
>
Q: Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
A: No? See how well the trick with the red eyes works?
>
Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A: Time to get a new fence.
>
Q: Where does an 8 ton elephant sit?
A: Any damn place where he pleases!
>
Q: Why is an elephant covered in wrinkles?
A: Ever try to iron one?