deep think

[ravi shankar]

one day , i was eating banana and thinking entry into kbc2. i ate one banana and threw chilka . second time , i ate next banana and chilka. but third time,i was in deep thinking that time i held chilka and threw banana.

[GoldFinger]

Three men: a project manager, a software engineer, and a hardware engineer are in Bombay for a two-week period helping out on a project.

About midweek they decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says "Normally I would grant you 3 wishes, but since there are 3 of you, I will grant you each one wish."

The hardware engineer went first. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house on Marine Drive here, with no money worries and surrounded by beautiful women who worship me." The genie granted him his wish and sent him to Marine Drive.

The software engineer went next. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean, with no money worries and surrounded by beautiful women who worship me." The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the Mediterranean.

Last, but not least, it was the project manager's turn. "And what would your wish be?" asked the genie. "I want them both back after lunch" replied the project manager. :D

[sardarni pj]

Little Johnny was a curious little guy and was always asking questions..........

One day, when his aunt was visiting, he went into his typical interrogation.
Johnny: Auntie, Auntie, Auntie, how old are you?
Auntie: Well Johnny, that's not a question that you ask a lady.
Johnny: Auntie, Auntie, Auntie, how much do you weigh?
Auntie: Johnny! That's not a question you ask a lady.
Johnny: Auntie, Auntie, Auntie, why don't you and your boyfriend sleep
in the same bed?
Auntie: Johnny, stop this! That's not a question you ask a lady!
Johnny went off to play but the next day he was talking to his aunt again.
Johnny: Auntie, Auntie, Auntie, I know how old you are. You're 32 years old.
Auntie: Johnny! How do you know that?
Johnny: Auntie, Auntie, Auntie, I know how much you weigh. You're 135 pounds.
Auntie: Johnny! How do you know that?
Johnny: And Auntie, Auntie, Auntie. I know why you don't sleep in the
same bed as your boyfriend.
Auntie: Johnny! Stop this! How do you know all this?
Johnny: Well, I found your driver's license last night. Here it says
that you're 32 years old and
here it says that you weigh 135 pounds. And right down here it
explains why you don't sleep in the
same bed as your boyfriend.
Auntie: Where does it say that?
Johnny: Right here. It says you got an "F" in Sex.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Little Johnny comes home from catholic school with a black eye.
His father see's it and says "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell
you not to fight with the
other boys?"
But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers.
We all stood up and my
teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. I
reached over and pulled it out.
That's when she hit me!
"Johnny", the father said. You don't do those kind of things to women.
Sure enough, the very next day Johnny came home with the other eye
black and blue. Johnny's
father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!" "But Dad" Johnny said.
"It wasn't my fault. There
we were in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher
in front of us had her dress
in the crack of her butt. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it
and he reached over and
pulled it out. Now I know she doesn't like this, so I pushed it back in!"

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

A new teacher while introducing herself to children said "My name is
Miss. Prussy and it is easy
to remember.
Just remember the word pussy in your rhyme and add "r" in between
first two letters.
Next day teacher wanted to test whether children could remember her name or not.
So she asked the whole class to tell her name a little louder.
Silence prevailed for sometime as none of the children could remember her name.
Then little Johnny remembered suddenly and shouted with excitement "Crunt".

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

At Sunday school, the teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you know where
little boys and girls go
when they do bad things?"
"Sure," Little Johnny replied. "They go out in back of the churchyard."

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

There is a teacher teaching sex ed to a bunch of 5th graders.
She walks to the chalk board and raws a huge penis on the board!
She truns to the class and simply asked the class, "Class, does any
one know what that is?"
The class sits silently for a second or two than little johnny stands
from the back!
He yells, "I know what that is! It's a PENIS! I know cause my dad's got two!"
"The small one he pee's from, the big one he brushs the babysitters teeth with!"

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]

A salesman rang the door bell and little Johnny answered.
The salesman asked if his father was at home.
Little Johnny: "Yes."
The salesman: "Well, can I see him please?"
Little Johnny: "No, he is in the shower."
The Salesman asked if his mother was at home.
Little Johnny: "Yes."
The Salesman: "Well can I see her?"
Little Johnny: "No, she's in the shower too.."
The Salesman: "Do you think they will be out soon?"
Little Johnny: "No."
The salesman asked why.
Little Johnny: "Well, when my dad asked me for the vaseline I gave him
some super glue instead."

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

A nursery school teacher asks her class, "Who can use the word
'definitely' in a sentence?"
The first little girl answers, "The sky is definitely blue,"
But the teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange,
or purple and pink."
A second little boy answers, "Trees are definitely green."
The teacher says, "Sorry,Timmy, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."
Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks, "Does a
fart have lumps?"
The teacher looks horrified and says, "Johnny! Of course not!!!"
"OK", says Johnny, "then I have DEFINITELY shit in my pants!"

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

My teacher is really giving me a tuff time, Little Johnny was telling
his Father.
"Handle it this way Johnny," his father advised.
"Take special care with your personal appearance and attire. Pay
attention in class.
And do your assignments and homework promptly."
"I really don't think that'll help Dad, Johnny rejoined.
"She hissed at me during study break that she's 3 weeks overdue."

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

It is nearing the end of the school day.
The teacher said, "Children, if any of you can answer one of the
questions I have, you can leave
early today."
Little Johnny said to himself, "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm
smart and I can answer any of
the questions."
The teacher began, "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Suzie said, "Abraham Lincoln."
"That's right, Suzie," said the teacher. "You can go home."
Johnny was angered because Suzie answered first.
Then, the teacher asked, "Who said, 'I have a dream'?"
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said, "Martin Luther King."
"That's right, Mary," said the teacher. "You can leave as well."
Well, Johnny wasn't angry anymore. He was mad.
Then, the teacher asked, "Who said, 'Ask not what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Nancy said, "John F. Kennedy".
"That's right, Nancy" said the teacher. "You can go home now too."
Well, Johnny was boiling mad now. In fact, he was furious.
Then, the teacher turned her back, and Johnny blurted out, "I wish
these bitches would keep their
mouths shut."
"Who said that?" insisted the teacher.
"Bill Clinton. There, can I go now?"

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she
slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me,
Mary, who created the
universe?"
When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the
chair behind her, took a pin
and jabbed her in the rear.
"God Almighty !" shouted Mary.
The teacher said, "Very good" and Mary fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Saviour,"
But, Mary didn't even stir
from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
"Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary and the teacher said, "Very good," and
Mary fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question. "What did Eve say to
Adam after she had her
twenty-third child?"
And again, Johnny Jabbed her with the pin.

This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in
me one more time, I'll
break it in half!" The Teacher fainted.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

A third grade school teacher was trying to explain to her class the
difference between singular
and plural She said, ''What do you call it if one woman looks out a window?''
Charlotte said, ''Singular.''
The teacher said, ''That's right Charlotte.Now, what do you call it if
three women are looking out
of a window?''
And little Johnny raised his hand and blurted out, ''A whorehouse.''

[sardarni pj]

************************************************** *****************
2 Dost Suicide karne gae, Pahala : "Hey Bhagwan muje dunia ki saari
nafrat de Pareshani de Duk de!" Dusra dost : "Abe tu maut maang raha
hai ki Reliance mai Job.

************************************************** *****************
Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other
ensures U
Continue to do so.
************************************************** *****************
How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard &
comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo
ta ra ra.

************************************************** *****************
A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married, Guess
what they named them... Jo Hua, So Hua.

************************************************** *****************
Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an
hour ...?? Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.

************************************************** *****************
Sardar to his friend "I kiss my Wife everyday before leaving for
Office, what about you?"
Friend : Me too, after you leave.

************************************************** *****************
Sardar : O Banno Car ki speed itani ky badha di..? biwi: Oji Car ki
break
fail ho gayi hai, Exident ho jaye iske pahale ghar pahunch jaate hai.

************************************************** *****************
Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a
Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher
Studies
Yaar...!!!
************************************************** *****************

Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.

************************************************** *****************
Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the
field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.

************************************************** *****************
Customer: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.

************************************************** *****************
1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions

************************************************** *****************
Man before Marriage I l ike Airtel...."Aisi Azaadi Aur Kahaan"
After Marriage He's Like Hutch... " Where R U Go Our Network
Follows."

************************************************** *****************
Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour ,
Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey.
Santa : Oh, I Thought it was its Skin...!!!