Jokon Ki Bharmaar!!!

[sardarni pj]

Yaar !!! .......life Mein Thoda Time Hasne Ke Liye Bhi Nikaal Liya Karo......thats Y I've Cum Up With This Section To Make U Guys Go lot-pot With Laughter..........so Ready 1 2 3 'n Gooooooooooo...........

[sardarni pj]

Ek aadmi bank se bahar aake ek auto mein chada....autowala usko uske ghar le gaya aur 100 Rs. liya. Jabki actually, it wouldn't have costed more than 10 Rs. Agle din, subah jab woh aadmi jagaa, to use kuch dikhayi nahin de raha tha.

WHY?

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Kyonki autowaale ne us aadmi ko ULLOO bana diya tha aur ULLOO ko subah kuch dikhai nahin deta!!! :D

[sardarni pj]

Champu and Pampu are 2 elephant friends. Champu is in love with Champi - the elephant beauty queen.

Champu proposes to Champi and she rejects him for some other rich elephant across the river.



Champu is very sad.



So Pampu consoles Champu and asks him to play see-saw at the garden.



Suddenly the see-saw breaks...and they started crying and singing a a song...................

Guess which one....

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See-Saw ho ya dil ho.... aakhirrrrrr...toot jaata hai....toot jaata hai...toot jaata hai....!!!!!

[sardarni pj]

Apna Poppat ped par chadha to Uper baithe Uske papa Paltimaar ne poochha.


Paltimaar : Tu kyun chadha ?


Poppat : Apple khaane.


Paltimaar : Lekin yeh to Mango tree hai !!


Poppat : Maloom hai, main apple saath laaya hoon!!!

[sardarni pj]

How does Santa introduce his Family in Canada.............



Santa Singh: Hello.......I am Sardar

Introduces his Wfe :.....She Sardarni

He my Kid ( Son)

She my Kidni ( Guess who).......

[GoldFinger]

Where did Prince Charles spend his first honeymoon?

[baljeet2n]

Santa Singh saw a beautiful girl. He went and kissed her......................Girl said: What are u doing?

Santa Singh: B. Com from Khalsa Collge, chandigarh

[Navin]

Santa Singh saw a beautiful girl. He went and kissed her......................Girl said: What are u doing?

Santa Singh: B. Com from Khalsa Collge, chandigarh

LOL! Yours and Sardarni's jokes are just great!

[Navin]

Twenty Questions

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quatro Sinko

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

[Pramod]

Ajit was in the hospital. He was an old man. From time to time the young nurse came in and said in a patronising tone, "And how are we doing this morning?"

Well, this is a story of revenge. Ajit had received breakfast, and pulled the juice off the tray, and put it on his stand. He had been given a urine bottle to fill. The juice was apple juice. You know where the juice went.

The nurse came in, picked up the urine bottle and said, "It seems we are a little cloudy today..." At this, Ajit snatched the bottle out of her hand, drinked its contents, saying, "Well, I'll run it through again, maybe I can filter it better this time."

[baljeet2n]

Thanx Navin.................kal after a long time I had posted two jokes...........us fighting se pareshaan ho gai thi....phir mann hi nahin kiya
PJ bhi online nahi ho rahi hai kaafi time se.........kitne lambe exams hain uske??????????????

[Don]

Hi everybody, you guys must keep on posting some good jokes otherwise life becomes so dull.

*An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered, "No."
The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was "Why?" The applicant answered it anyway: "Never got caught."

*Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."
Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

*Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources person asked a young applicant fresh out of Business School, "And what starting salary are you looking for?"

The applicant said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years - say, a red Corvette?"

The applicant sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

[sardarni pj]

hey Guys !!!!! After A Long Break .......i M Back.........actually Was Bzy Bcoz Of My Studies.....but Not Exams (otherwise)............i've Gone Thru The Forum.......n I M Relieved That There's Sumwat Peace In Here. :) .......n Now on, My Jokes Will Continue But They Can B Irregular At Times...........so Plz Manage :D

[sardarni pj]

There were two nuns...
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),
and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man
has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes?
I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most?
What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing.
He started to walk faster, too.

SM : So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and
I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried
about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened.
The man couldn't follow us both,so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened.
I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he
could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL : The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.


SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? .. A nun with her dress up can run faster
than man with his pants down......

[Navin]

Once a Sardarji was on a railway platform shouting, 'Oh Balle Balle. I made a fool out of this Railway Department. This is so good. Oh Balle.'

Another Sardar came across to him and asked him, 'Oh tusi kis gal pe has rahe ho?'

The Sardar answered,'Oh Kuch nahi paji. Yeh Railway Department nu maine ullu banaya. '

'Oh, voh kaise?' Asked the other Sardar.

The previous one replied,' Oh paji, maine to Railway da ticket khareeda, aur train main gaya hi nahi!!'.

-------------------------------

Once a sardar doctor calls his sardar patient on the phone and says 'Hi, main bol raha hoon!'

The other sardarji replies 'Kamaal hain, ithe vi main bol raha hoon!'

Doctor to Sardar: 'Aapka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai!'

Sardar: 'Hoga, zaroor hoga! 25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi hai!'

--------------------------------

What did the tonsil say to the other tonsil?

Get ready the doctor is going to take us out tomight!

--------------------------------

The phone rang in the obituary department of the local newspaper.

'How much does it cost to have an obituary printed'? asked miser Santa Singh.

'It's 50 Rupees a word, sir,' the clerk replied politely.

'Fine,' said Santa Singh after a moment. 'Okay then, write this down: 'Banta - dead'.'

'That's all?' asked the clerk disbelievingly.

'That's it.'

'I'm sorry sir, I should have told you - there's a five word minimum.'

'Yes, you should've,' snapped the Santa. Now let me think a minute... okay, here goes: Banta dead. Maruti for Sale.'

--------------------------------
A women accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.

He said: 'If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die:
1. Each morning , fix him a healthy breakfast.
2. Be pleasant and make sure he is in a good mood.
3. For lunch, make him a nutritious meal.
4. For dinner, prepare him an especially nice meal.
5. Don't burden him with chores as he probably had a hard day.
6. Don't discuss your problems with him.
7. And most importantly, have sex with him several times a week and satisfy his every whim.'

On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor said to her. 'You're going to die' she replied.

[Navin]

Little Lalloo was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things. 'Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?' he asked his mother.

'He thinks a lot,' replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness.

Or she was until little Lalloo thought for a second and asked, 'So why do you have so much hair?
---------------------

Laloo and Rabri Devi were walking down the road when Rabri turns to Laloo and says, 'Hey look at that dog with one eye!'

Laloo covers up one of his eyes and says, 'Where?'
---------------------

[Navin]

Gullu Bhai was sitting on his porch, when this man walked up with a pad and pencil in his hand.

'What can I do for you?' Gullu politely asked. 'Are you selling something?'

'No, sir, I'm not. I'm a Census Taker.'

'A what?'

'A Census Taker. We're trying to find out how many people there are in India.'

'You're wasting your time here. I have no idea.'
------------------------
Newlyweds Santa Singh and Jaspinder were on their honeymoon trip and were driving down in their car to Chandigarh from their little town in Punjab.

They are nearing Chandigarh when Santa Singh puts his hand on Jaspinder's knee. Giggling, Jaspinder says shyly, 'Oye Santaji, you can go farther than that if you want to…'

So Santa Singh drives to Shimla.
------------------------
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. 'Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!'

'But why, Mom? I don't want to go.'

'Give me two reasons why you don't want to go.'

'Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!'

'Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.'

'Give me two reasons why I should go to school.'

'Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!'
-----------------------------

[Pramod]

Once a newly married couple had a quarrel as a consequence of which, all conversation between them stopped. Unfortunately the husband was to attend his office very early the next morning.
So he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me up at 6 a.m. tomorrow morning," and kept it beside his wife s pillow.
His wife read it and went to sleep. He woke up very late the next morning and got very angry. He looked ferociously at his wife, but she calmly pointed towards his pillow. Under his pillow he found a piece of paper.
On it was written, "Please get up, it is 6 o clock now."

[sardarni pj]

1. Ek dost ne sardar se poocha "yaar tu hamesha
foreign channel kyon
dekhta rehta."

Sardar "yaar kuch bijli unki bhi kharcha hone do."


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

2. hightech sardar inventions:

---Waterproof towel

---Solar powered torch

---Book on how to read

---Pedal powered wheel chair.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah


3. Why did sardar cut the sides of the capsule before
taking it? Guess

what

---To avoid side effect!!!


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah


4. Man: sardarji where were u born?

sardarji: punjab.

man: which part.

Sardar: oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body is
born in punjab".

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


5. Lawyer to sardar: Gita pe haath laga kar kaho ke

---Sardar :yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court me
bulaiya. ab fir gita pe haath.


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

6. Ek teacher ne sardar se puchha

"akal badhi ya bhais "

Sardar bola "sir pehle date of birth to batao".

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

7. Why was sardarji writing the exam near the door
bcoz it was an entrance exam.


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

8. Banta's son:dad there is some one on the door 2
collect donations for a swimming pool.

Banta: give him a glass of water.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

9. Santa:I am a proud sardar, my son is in medical
college.

Banta: really what is he studying?

santa: he is not studying they r studying him


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

10.
Subject: Sardar VS Bush

Once Sardar goes to USA and meets President Bush.
Bush takes him to a jungle to prove that Americans are technologically advanced. In the jungle, Bush asks Sardar to start digging. He keeps on digging. When he reaches 100ft Bush tells him to start searching. Sardar finds a piece of wire. Bush proudly says "You see; even 100 years back we had telephone".

At this Sardar gets really annoyed.

Next year Bush comes to India. Sardar takes him to a jungle and tells him to start digging. Bush digs 100 ft and stops. Sardar tells him to continue. He digs 200ft. Sardar tells him to continue. Bush finally reaches 400ft and Sardar
tells him to stop. But Bush doesn't find anything and is annoyed.

Bush asks Sardar what you wanted to prove. Sardar replies "Even 400 years back we had wireless".

[Neo]

Hi Sardarni PJ. The bush-sardarji joke was simply outstanding. He made all the Indians proud by his wireless reply to Bush. We had bluetooth (wireless) 400 years back. :D

[GoldFinger]

1. Ek dost ne sardar se poocha "yaar tu hamesha
foreign channel kyon
dekhta rehta."

Sardar "yaar kuch bijli unki bhi kharcha hone do."


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

2. hightech sardar inventions:

---Waterproof towel

---Solar powered torch

---Book on how to read

---Pedal powered wheel chair.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah


3. Why did sardar cut the sides of the capsule before
taking it? Guess

what

---To avoid side effect!!!


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah


4. Man: sardarji where were u born?

sardarji: punjab.

man: which part.

Sardar: oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body is
born in punjab".

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


5. Lawyer to sardar: Gita pe haath laga kar kaho ke

---Sardar :yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court me
bulaiya. ab fir gita pe haath.


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

6. Ek teacher ne sardar se puchha

"akal badhi ya bhais "

Sardar bola "sir pehle date of birth to batao".

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

7. Why was sardarji writing the exam near the door
bcoz it was an entrance exam.


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

8. Banta's son:dad there is some one on the door 2
collect donations for a swimming pool.

Banta: give him a glass of water.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

9. Santa:I am a proud sardar, my son is in medical
college.

Banta: really what is he studying?

santa: he is not studying they r studying him


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

10.
Subject: Sardar VS Bush

Once Sardar goes to USA and meets President Bush.
Bush takes him to a jungle to prove that Americans are technologically advanced. In the jungle, Bush asks Sardar to start digging. He keeps on digging. When he reaches 100ft Bush tells him to start searching. Sardar finds a piece of wire. Bush proudly says "You see; even 100 years back we had telephone".

At this Sardar gets really annoyed.

Next year Bush comes to India. Sardar takes him to a jungle and tells him to start digging. Bush digs 100 ft and stops. Sardar tells him to continue. He digs 200ft. Sardar tells him to continue. Bush finally reaches 400ft and Sardar
tells him to stop. But Bush doesn't find anything and is annoyed.

Bush asks Sardar what you wanted to prove. Sardar replies "Even 400 years back we had wireless".


Very well done SPJ,

Nice to see that's you still got your funny bones intact...and working s(o)well.

Nicer to see that you got copyrights for this thread too.

Liked your jokes....really....no jokes:D

I have written a joke for you on your beloved GF Jokes........looks tum raasta bhul gaye ho....GF jokes ka....If so....and I will draw a GPS-driven map for you....if you so desire.;)

[Pramod]

A major traffic jam was preventing people from moving forward.
A motorist shouted out wanting to know what was happening.
A guy from the front replied, "Well at the traffic crossing Laloo Yadav is sprawled across the road.
He is refusing to move from there!"
"But why?"
"He has lost the elections and will now surely be convicted for corruption and will have to pay lakhs of Rupess as fines!
He is threatening to douse himself with kerosene and set himself on fire if people didn`t contribute with money to help him pay the fine!"
"So how much has been collected so far?"
"Six litres!"

----------

After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go modelling. On one occasion, he enters a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears on the front page of a newspaper.

Guess the caption!!

Laloo, third from left!

[Navin]

OXYMORONS:
47. Mature Man
46. Free agent
45. Act naturally
44. Found missing
43. Resident alien
42. Advanced BASIC
41. Genuine imitation
40. Airline Food
39. Good grief
38. Same difference
37. Almost exactly
36. Government organization
35. Sanitary landfill
34. Alone together
33. Legally drunk
32. Silent scream
31. Living dead
30. Small crowd
29. Business ethics
28. Soft rock
27. Butt Head
26. Military Intelligence
25. Software documentation
24. New classic
23. Sweet sorrow
22. Childproof
21. "Now, then ..."
20. Synthetic natural gas
19. Passive aggression
18. Taped live
17. Clearly misunderstood
16. Peace force
15. Extinct Life
14. Temporary tax increase
13. Computer jock
12. Plastic glasses
11. Terribly pleased
10. Computer security
9. Political science
8. Tight slacks
7. Definite maybe
6. Pretty ugly
5. Twelve-ounce pound cake
4. Diet ice cream
3. Working vacation
2. Exact estimate
1. Microsoft Works

[monisha]

Hi Navin,

Real good Oxymorons. Funny and educative!!

Kep up the good work!
Cheers!!

[Navin]

Hi Monisha,
Thanks for the appreciation. Here's something more to keep you in good humor:

100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Assassins do it from behind.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Cheers!;)

[Navin]

Hi. Since Baljeet and Sardarni PJ are away, I am standing in for them for providing some humor here;) :

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
Death is hereditary.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
Double your drive space. Delete Windows!
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Genius does what it must, talent does what it can, and you had best do what you're told.
Get a new car for your spouse; it'll be a great trade!
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
How does Teflon stick to the pan?
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

Enjoy!

[Pramod]

conversion from MKS or CGS units to English

2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond
Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling
Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
1000 aches: 1 megahurtz
Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line (think about it for a moment)
453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake
1 million-million microphones: 1 megaphone
1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles
365.25 days: 1 unicycle
2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds (work on it....)
10 cards: 1 decacards
1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton
1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen
1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche
1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin
10 rations: 1 decoration
100 rations: 1 C-ration
2 monograms: 1 diagram
8 nickels: 2 paradigms
2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League

[monisha]

Hi Navin,

LOL.....Really good ones!!

Anyways wishing you a very HAppy Dipawali anda Prosperous New Year!

Cheers!!

[Navin]

Hi Monisha,
Was away for a few days. Thanks for your wishes and wish you the same. :)
Here is a nice joke I just read:

There was a young couple, very much in love, who the night before they were to be married, were both tragically killed in an automobile accident.

They found themselves at the pearly gates of heaven being escorted in by St. Peter. After a couple of weeks in heaven, the prospective groom took St. Peter aside and said, "St. Peter, my fiance and I are very happy to be in heaven but we miss very much the opportunity to have celebrated our wedding vows. Is it possible for people in heaven to get married?"

St. Peter looked at him and said, "I'm sorry, I've never heard of anyone in heaven wanting to get married. I'm afraid you'll have to talk to the Lord God Almighty about that. I can get you an appointment for two weeks from Wednesday."

Come the appointed day, the couple were escorted by the guardian angels into the presence of the Lord God Almighty, where they repeat the request. The Lord looked at them solemnly and said, "I tell you what, wait five years and if you still want to get married, come back and we will talk about it again."

Well five years went by, and the couple still very much wanting to get married, came back. Again the Lord God Almighty said, "Please you must wait another five years and then I will consider your request."

Finally, they come before the Lord God Almighty the third time, ten years after their first request, and ask the Lord again. This time the Lord answered, "Yes, you may marry. This Saturday at 2:00 p.m., we will have a beautiful ceremony in the main chapel. The reception will be on me!"

The wedding went beautifully, all the guests thought the bride was beautiful. Moses brought some flowers from the Nile River Delta and Gandhi came wearing his finest hand-woven dhoti.

But, you guessed it, the couple was married but a few months when they realized they had made a horrible mistake, they just couldn't stay married to one another.

So they made another appointment to see the Lord God Almighty, this time to ask if they could get a divorce in heaven. When the Lord heard their request, he looked at them and said, "Look, it took us ten years to find a priest up here in heaven; do you have any idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer?"

Cheers!

[Pramod]

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, may I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.

Captain: Whose car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card. The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.

Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Really? Ain't that something? And I'll bet the lying sucker told you I was speeding, too ...

[romeo]

SARDARNI :- KYON JI,TUSII GADI DII SPEED KYON VADHA DITTI...........?

SARDAR:- OYE,GADDI DI BREAK FAIL HO GAYI

ACCIDENT HON TON PEHLAAAN PEHLAAN CHETTI CHETTI GHAR PAHUNCH JAWANGE.......!


2.mohabtein..................................

;) EK LADKI THI DIIWANI SII,MOBILE LEKAR GHUMTII THI,SHARMA KE,NAZREN JHUKA KE MOBILE MEIN KUCH KARTI THI,JAB BHI MILTI THI MUJHSE PUCHA KARTI THI ".............yeh ON kaise hota hai ................?


3.sholey..........
aagar aap basanti ko kahenge ki " NAACH BASANTI NAACH " to basanti nahin nachegi pucho kyun..?kyun kii basanti kutton ke saamne nahin naachtii :D

[Pramod]

Ek dost ne sardar se poocha "yaar tu hamesha foreign channel kyon dekhta rehta." Sardar "yaar kuch bijli unki bhi kharcha hone do."


hightech sardar inventions:
---Waterproof towel
---Solar powered torch
---Book on how to read
---Pedal powered wheel chair.


Why did sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it? Guess what ---To avoid side effect!!!


Man:sardarji where were u born?
sardarji: punjab.
man: which part.
Sardar: oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body is born in punjab".


Lawyer to sardar: Gita pe haath laga kar kaho ke ---Sardar :yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court me bulaiya. ab fir gita pe haath.


Ek teacher ne sardar se puchha "akal badhi ya bhais "
Sardar bola "sir pehle date of birth to batao".

Why was sardarji writing the exam near the door coz it was an entrance exam.

[mani]

cut and paste from admins post

Every couple of weeks, we choose a prolific and interesting member, whose posts have contributed to the growth of this forum
However, note the fine print: You need to be not just prolific, but also interesting!

Member B has posted only 50 messages. But most of these 50 messages are insightful, though provoking, debatable, witty, etc. Something that made us pause and smile and think

I would like to announce our fourth winner:

Vipin Agnihotri!

for the insightful posts:

all of u r talking trash. innovation is the name of the game, try out new things in life

u have posted crap

I think u have posted crap because in my book both sangita and shabbir is doing a good job and remember it was for the first time they were hosting the show so give him some more time and they will...

i think u r talking trash about the country no 1...

i think u r talking trash about the country no 1 channel

u r sick because u love all of them not one or two

u r sick because u love all of them not one or two

all over starone forum atleastlol