GF Jokes

[sardarni pj]

Hey all !!! From now on i'll b giving u a new chance to laugh aloud.........but this time we have sumthing new for u.........these jokes will b specially dedicated to our very own mr GGOOOLLLLLLDDDD FIINNGGGGGEEERRRRRRRR instaed of santa or banta singh
wat say........KOOL NA????

[sardarni pj]

Ek American ne GoldFinger se kaha, "Hamare yahan shaadi email se bhi hoti hai."
GF impressed ho kar bola, "Hamare yahan to keval female se hoti hai." :p

[GoldFinger]

Sardarni pj ji,

I am honoured and look forward to see myself in jokes :D

but beech beech mein sardar ji ko bhi le ana....to remove monotony.

lots of guys here hate me here.!! :D

[GoldFinger]

Ek American ne GoldFinger se kaha, "Hamare yahan shaadi email se bhi hoti hai."
GF impressed ho kar bola, "Hamare yahan to keval female se hoti hai." :p


hi Sardarni Pj ji,

You see i did beat the American with that one. :D

Actually , how did you overhear me. I was infact alone with that American Lady. :cool:

No, I don't mind you spying my activities at all.

keep on..

PS--Vaise american ka email idea bhi cool hai.

[Morpheus]

Ek American ne GoldFinger se kaha, "Hamare yahan shaadi email se bhi hoti hai."
GF impressed ho kar bola, "Hamare yahan to keval female se hoti hai." :p

Ha Ha Ha. But having seen GFs desperation, he will be ready to marry an email also :D

[Morpheus]

hi Sardarni Pj ji,

You see i did beat the American with that one. :D

Actually , how did you overhear me. I was infact alone with that American Lady. :cool:

No, I don't mind you spying my activities at all.

keep on..

Kya faaltu baat karta hai re Fenkoo! Tu fenk main lapet ta hoon :cool:

[GoldFinger]

hi Sardarni ji,

Don't mind mild irritants like Morpheus with foul mouth, they hop in, lapette hain and disappear. just iggy him and continue. :D

[baljeet2n]

A helping hand for you PJ.....................

Gold Finger wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr after deducting tax.

Angry Gold Finger: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20Rs back.!

[Don]

Q: HOW DO YOU KEEP GF BUSY ALL DAY?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner.

Q: HOW DO YOU MAKE GF LAUGH ON A SUNDAY?
A: Tell him a joke on Thursday.

Q: GF going to London on a plane, how can you steal his
window seat?
A: Tell him the seats that are going to London are all in the
middle row.


Q: GF calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
A: "Just a sec," says the rep. "Thank you." says GF and hangs up

Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN GF THROWS A PIN AT YOU?
A: Run like Hell....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

Q: Why does GF always smile during lightning storms?
A: He thinks his picture is being taken.

Q: Why did GF stare at frozen orange juice can for 2
hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

Q: Why can't GF dial 911?
A: He can not find the eleven on the phone.

Q: How do you confuse GF?
A: You don't. He is born that way.:D

[GoldFinger]

great don,

good ones
GF laughs

however I was DIALLINF 911 (a mistaKE)
ITS AMERICAN NO

aCTUALLY,I WANTED TO DIAL 1 AND JEETO (9090)
:D

[GoldFinger]

A helping hand for you PJ.....................

Gold Finger wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr after deducting tax.

Angry Gold Finger: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20Rs back.!

hi,

i ain't greedy. i got 20 bucks back after all. :D

[Navin]

One fine day a girl proposed to GF and GF denied simply saying that in our family we marry only our relatives. My mom married my dad, my brother married my bhabhi, my uncle married my aunt and so on. so please excuse me !!!!!

GF is at the railway station. He asks a man "When will Rajdhani Express go from here?"
Man Replies 12.30.
"When will Deccan Queen go from here?"
Man Replies 1.30.
"When will Punjab Express go from here?"
Man Replies 2.30.
GF goes on asking about all the trains.
Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to Agra by train or not.
GF replies, "No I just want to cross the tracks!"

One day, Goldfinger goes to the clinic, and he finds his friend Bugsbunny crying.
GF: Bug, Why are you crying?
Bug: The doctors are going to take my blood test by cutting my finger.
After hearing this GF also starts crying.
Bug: GF, why are you crying?
GF: I'm here for urine test!

GF and Bugsbunny were sitting on a tree and GF was singing a song.
After 4 songs GF hung himself upside down and started singing again.
Bug : GF, what is the matter with you? Why are you hanging upside down?
GF : I am singing the B side.

[Rani]

Very funny jokes all of them but goldfinger hanging upside down on a tree was the best. Keep going. :)

[sardarni pj]

Gold finger: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.

Bugsbunny: Y?

GF: Got upper berth.

Bugs: Y did'nt u Xchnge?

GF: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth.

******************************

A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a
woman gives birth to a kid.

Gold finger stands up- "we must find & stop her!"

************************************

Gold Finger -why r all these people running?

Bugs- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.

Gold Finger -If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?

****************************************


Gold finger told his servant: Go and water the plants.

Servant: It"s already raining.

GF: So what, take an umbrella and go.

*************************************


Gold finger proposed a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to you'...........GF said 'Oye No Problem Soniye,I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.

***********************************

Gold finger & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.

Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children?

GFreplied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR

[Tina]

This is so funny. I can't stop laughing :p
Please go on posting such hilarious jokes.

[baljeet2n]

Why did 18 GoldFingers(including tiger, bugs, rajesh tomar, raajesh tomar....) go to a movie?

Because below 18 was not allowed.

[baljeet2n]

"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Gold Finger looked skyward and asked, "Where, Where?

--------------------------------------------------------------------

GF is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up and says
" Hello, how did you know I was here?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------

[GoldFinger]

nice jokes,

Very funny.
Good try
Quality and content pass marks

I ain't laughing.

Baljit n Sardarni,

Are you hand in gloves with each other.
Or are you both Saas aur Bahu
Or are you both Bahu aur Devrani
Or are you both Devrani or Nanad
Or are u long lost n now found sisters
Or are you school mates
Or kinder Garten buddies

WHAT on earth ARE YOUs?

I know Navin he is poor jealous guyl who is piqued at me. So he has joined you to throw bouquets at me.


Why did GoldFinger go with( BALJIT2n, Sardarni and Navin....) to a movie?

Because they did not want to see the movie!!!! and Navin to stand guard at the movie gate
================================

[Navin]

Your counter joke about the movie is senseless just like most of your other posts, Goldfinger aka Tiger aka Bugsbunny aka ILoveNY aka ILoveJesus aka shivabi aka Rajesh Tomar aka Raajesh Tomar aka......blah blah blah!

Yes, I'm piqued at you (so are other senior members) because you are deceitful, a liar and a cheat. You keep editing and deleting your own messages n number of times. One should edit one's messages only in a rare case, but you keep doing it at the drop of a hat. It is like licking one's own spit! But seems you enjoy it. If you were so desperate for the gift hamper you could have just given me your Agra address and I would have sent it to you had I won it. It is good that you live in Agra because help is near at hand. The famous Mental Asylum of Agra is in your city, so go get some help! :cool:

[Navin]

Why did 18 GoldFingers(including tiger, bugs, rajesh tomar, raajesh tomar....) go to a movie?

Because below 18 was not allowed.

LOL! A very apt one. I really enjoyed it.

[arvind kumar saran]

Hi All and dear Navin,

In my opinion, if anyone is visibly making a 'Good' for himself for the poll result then we should pardon him and let him take the 'Gift' at the mercy of all, instead expressing the anger or concern about it....? After all it is the mercy of the learned viewers that are allowing such deed to happen and the august viewers of this forum is aware of such ...happenings.?

The mercy bestowed on such 'Gift Hungry' persons will be remembered by him for ever..

Moreover, by doing such act, the person may not adopt the wrong method of casting the 'pseudo or proxy' votes by generating the alleged false ID's in this very forum.

I hope the great Admin Indya team is knowing all the facts..
Moreover, Imagine if the GF was not there in this forum then the 'GF Jokes' would not have been there...I feel that by his act the forum is more Juicy..

What you have to say...about this...Navin ! :D

[Navin]

Dear AK47,

I agree with you. As I said in my earlier post I would have given my "gift" to GF willingly, had I won. As another contestant whose punchline was in the final 10, rashrocks, said "it's not about the gift, its about choosing a good punchline for the forum". I think enough has been said about this issue till now and now we should just let the Star authorities choose whichever punchline they like best and accept their decision in all humility. I on my part, would not write about this issue again, unless provoked.
Lets look at the positive side, we got a new cartoon character for cracking jokes!:) I think GF should take it in the right spirit.......after all, we are making him famous! LOL.

[arvind kumar saran]

Hi ,

Here are some jokes for G.F.
1.
Mr GF was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour.
One day he hung up after 25 minutes."What is the matter today? asked Rajesh Tomar.
"Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone."
"I got a wrong number," replied Mr GF. :D

2.
GF was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence. "They should not put up such misleading notices," said GF."
It said , "FINE FOR PARKING HERE." :D

3.
GF 's and his friend were in conversation on the beach :

GF : Aare Gold ... , Ise 'beach' kyo kaheete hai ?
Bunny Bugs : Tumhe nahe pata ?
GF : Nahe pata.
Bunny Bugs : Woh to Aasmaan aur Zameen ke beech mein hai esliye eesai beach kahete hai . :D

[GoldFinger]

Hi Dear Aks,

So you have also jumped in on the gravvy with these silly guys.

Thought you were decerning and had mature outlook.

Sardarni Pj ji started this thread, didn't object as generally didn't want to put a spokes on her creativity and she belongs to fairer sex.

But firing your guns from her delicate shoulders is different ball together.

and besides I had given my express say-so to her as she seems a gifted child to me.

Boys firing a gun from a ladies shoulder....what are ur comments on that

regards
:D

[arvind kumar saran]

Dear Gold Finger,

I thought to post some Jokes on GF. However, I still failed to understand that you must NOT feel bad but be proud of the Jokes being made here...? I hope it is not TARGETTED on You.?

Bye

[Navin]

LOL. Till yesterday, GF was very happy that we were making him famous by making jokes on him, and had also given his explicit approval for such jokes.........what happened today? LOL;) Remember, BADNAAM JO HONGE TO KYA NAAM NA HOGA!

here are some more:

GF had never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the rail tracks one day, he hears this whistle -- Whooee da Whoee! -- but doesn't know what it is.
Predictably, he's hit and is thrown to the side of the tracks. Fortunately he gets some minor injuries. After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party one evening. While in the
kitchen, he suddenly hears the teakettle whistling. He grabs a iron rod from the nearby shelf and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, rushes into the kitchen,sees what's happened and asks GF, "Why did you ruin my good tea kettle?"
GF replies, "Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small."


GF got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone.
"Is this one one one one?", says the voice.
"No, this is eleven eleven."
"Are you sure it isn't one one one one?"
"No, this is eleven eleven."
"Well, wrong number. I am Bugsbunny calling, sorry to have woken you up on the middle of the night."
"That's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone
anyway."


GF with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
"But...what happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called back."


Q: Why did GF take a pair binoculars with him to a funeral?
A: It was a distant relative's funeral


GF was driving his Mercedes at a furious pace and suddenly hits the car ahead, a Maruti, and both come to a complete halt. The Maruti's driver, Bugsbunny is furious. He steps out of his car and moves towards GF. He makes a circle on the road and asks GF to stand inside it and dares him to step out of it. He pulls out a rod and breaks the bonnet of the Mercedes. He looks back at GF and finds him laughing cunningly. This makes him even more furious and goes about breaking all the windows of the expensive car. Again looking back he finds GF laughing! His anger peaking, Bugsbunny smashes whatever part of the Mercedes he can lay hands on. Yet again GF is found smiling. Frustated and tired, Bugs finally asks GF, "What's the matter with you? I have completely torn apart your car and you continue to smile, what's wrong with you?" GF replies, "Well, you didn't know... you see, everytime you turned to smash my car, I stepped out of the circle!"

GF and Bugs walked towards each other on a country road. Bugs carried a burlap bag over his shoulder.
"Hey Bhai," GF drawled, "What's in the bag?"
"Chickens," replied Bugs.
"If I guess how many chickens you have in the bag, can I have one?" offered GF.
"Sure, you can have both of them!", Bugs replied.
"OK, Five?"

GF's girlfriend asks GF, "GF dear, if we get engaged, will you give me a ring?".

"Sure", replies GF. "What's your phone number."

[GoldFinger]

hi AKS, :D

ha ha

Nothing Serious.

Was just kidding.

Keep on, I am enjoying it too. :D

[sardarni pj]

HEY ALL GUYS!!!!1
I THINK ITS BEEN ENUF.......WHEN A PERSON STARTS FEELING BAD THEN ONE MUST STOP THERE BEFORE CROSSING THE LIMITS.........WELL, I HAVE HAD ENUF OF FUN BY CRACKING JOKES ON GF BUT NOW IT ISN'T ENDING UP AS A FUN FILLED ACTIVITY ATLAST.........SO NOW I M OUT OF THIS...........N HOPE THAT U'LL AGREE WITH ME AND WILL SURELY STOP THESE JOKES
GOLD FINGER MUST'VE GOT HIS LESSON N WILL REMEMBER THIS FOREVER.........N IF GF HIMSELF WANTS US TO CONTINUE THEN PLZ DO REPLY IN THIS THREAD

[Navin]

Ok. Agreed, Sardarni. Whatever you say. LOL

[baljeet2n]

GOLDFINGER SAID:

Baljit n Sardarni,

Are you hand in gloves with each other.
Or are you both Saas aur Bahu
Or are you both Bahu aur Devrani
Or are you both Devrani or Nanad
Or are u long lost n now found sisters
Or are you school mates
Or kinder Garten buddies

WHAT on earth ARE YOUs?


are you both Saas aur Bahu
are you both Bahu aur Devrani
are you both Devrani or Nanad

Answer: Not Possible coz I m nt married and my common sense says she isnt too!

are u long lost n now found sisters

Answer:My life is nt that dramatic!

are you school mates
kinder Garten buddies

Answer:Really if that would hav been the case I would hav been very happy coz PJ seems to be a very nice person!

[GoldFinger]

HEY ALL GUYS!!!!1
I THINK ITS BEEN ENUF.......WHEN A PERSON STARTS FEELING BAD THEN ONE MUST STOP THERE BEFORE CROSSING THE LIMITS.........WELL, I HAVE HAD ENUF OF FUN BY CRACKING JOKES ON GF BUT NOW IT ISN'T ENDING UP AS A FUN FILLED ACTIVITY ATLAST.........SO NOW I M OUT OF THIS...........N HOPE THAT U'LL AGREE WITH ME AND WILL SURELY STOP THESE JOKES
GOLD FINGER MUST'VE GOT HIS LESSON N WILL REMEMBER THIS FOREVER.........N IF GF HIMSELF WANTS US TO CONTINUE THEN PLZ DO REPLY IN THIS THREAD

Hello Sardarni ji Madam, :D

Why on earth I should feel bad, I am enjoying thoroughly, Lots of funny ,witty jokes r readily available to me at the click of my Jerry button.

Keep on lady till you yourself run out of the stuff. Maybe you already do !

Even for a change Navin is also showing that he has jocular vein. and he isn't doing bad either.

I asked to you to go ahead in making a Joker out of me.
OFFER still STANDS like a rock. :D


PS..infact I was pulling AKS's legs earlier in my post

[GoldFinger]

Hi Baljit,
Thanks
My ignorance is gone by your logical answers. I take off my non-existent hat for you and salute you. I also view sardarni Pj to be a witty girl. Don't know her that well ,however, one thing is certain that her jokes are really good as you have also said in your post earlier. I know her jokes very intimately as I am part n parcel and butt of jokes.
What's happened to your today's supply of your otherwise excellent jokes. :)

[baljeet2n]

Hi Baljit,
Thanks
My ignorance is gone by your logical answers. I take off my non-existent hat for you and salute you. I also view sardarni Pj to be a witty girl. Don't know her that well ,however, one thing is certain that her jokes are really good as you have also said in your post earlier. I know her jokes very intimately as I am part n parcel and butt of jokes.
What's happened to your today's supply of your otherwise excellent jokes. :)

Gold Fingers are supposed to be ignorant and dumb! So I'll forgive u for that!

Here is today's quota of GF jokes!

Gold Finger and Bugs Bunny got a US software assignment. After reaching US both were staying in the same building. GF on the first floor and bugs on the thirty fifth floor. One day the elevators were not working. Banta decided to tease GF and he invited GF on the phone for Sarson da Saag and Makke di Roti. When GF reached the 35th floor using the stairs he was cheesed off to see a note on the door saying "How was the journey !!" Seeing this GF got extremely annoyed and decided to take revenge. He put another note saying " Boss i cannot make it today!!!"

[GoldFinger]

Gold Fingers are supposed to be ignorant and dumb! So I'll forgive u for that!

Here is today's quota of GF jokes!

Gold Finger and Bugs Bunny got a US software assignment. After reaching US both were staying in the same building. GF on the first floor and bugs on the thirty fifth floor. One day the elevators were not working. Banta decided to tease GF and he invited GF on the phone for Sarson da Saag and Makke di Roti. When GF reached the 35th floor using the stairs he was cheesed off to see a note on the door saying "How was the journey !!" Seeing this GF got extremely annoyed and decided to take revenge. He put another note saying " Boss i cannot make it today!!!"


Hi Baljit,

ya, i agree GF is slipping these days and is getting dumber by the day.
Thanks for making it to a new joke,
howver, on thing, you said "Banta singh decided to ..."
When GF and BugsBunny were in building, what was Banta doing there... hope he was not EVEsdropping there..( oh god )
Thanks for the post,forgiveness and for making me smile.

[Don]

This is a very funny thread and it is making me laugh. Keep it up:D

[baljeet2n]

Hi Baljit,

ya, i agree GF is slipping these days and is getting dumber by the day.
Thanks for making it to a new joke,
howver, on thing, you said "Banta singh decided to ..."
When GF and BugsBunny were in building, what was Banta doing there... hope he was not EVEsdropping there..( oh god )
Thanks for the post,forgiveness and for making me smile.

Hi GF!

I deliberatly used BANTA SINGH'S name coz while scanning this thread I noticed that you had once said

"I am honoured and look forward to see myself in jokes
but beech beech mein sardar ji ko bhi le ana....to remove monotony"

To maine beech mein banta singh ko daal dia!
Apne cartoon character ki itni baat to hum maan hi saktein hain!

[GoldFinger]

Thank you,

how considerate and thoughtfull !! :D

[Kareena]

Once again, GF has been left speechless by your answer, Baljeet. :)

Some more incidents involving our cartoon GF

Qs: Why does GF have "TGIF" written on his shoes?
As: Toes Go In First.

Qs: How can you tell when GF sends you a fax?
As: It has a stamp on it.

Qs: Why can't GF dial 911?
As: He can not find the eleven on the phone.

Qs: How do you get GF on the roof?
As: Tell him the drinks are on the house.

Qs: What does a smart GF and UFOs have in common?
As: You always hear about them but you never see them.

Qs: Why does it take longer to build a GF snowman as opposed to a regular one?
As: You have to hollow out the head.

Qs: How do you measure GF's intelligence?
As: Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear! :D

[GoldFinger]

hi kareena,
.....latest on the GF train !!

Why build a GF snowman when you got real one?

Want to take it further on....PM GF, he may give you his no.

Sorry...TGIF......is....Tongue go in first..you got it wrong.

May be not 911 , but GF can dial 69 beautifully....even when the phone is upside down.


:D

[Kareena]

hi kareena,
.....latest on the GF train !!

Why build a GF snowman when you got real one?

Want to take it further on....PM GF, he may give you his no.

Sorry...TGIF......is....Tongue go in first..you got it wrong.

May be not 911 , but GF can dial 69 beautifully....even when the phone is upside down.


:D
hi goldfinger, does your tongue go inside your shoe first, bootlicker? Until now I only knew you as a cartoon character, now I also know that you are an obscene and lewd character too. :eek:

[GoldFinger]

hi karina, ya got it all wrong,

What I meant was...TGIF ...when having a soup there, tounge go in first..what's wrong...TGIF is a eating joint afterall. I will certainly not toe in my soup at TGIF. Is there anything you can eat without tongue going in first.

Even when the phone is upside down, no 69 is the easiest to dial, try it out yourself.

How we interpret things is the game of mind....I don't know what were you thinking and called me names coz of my off-the cuff reply.

That reminds of an axiom " Beauty lies in the eyes of beholder" not the beholden.

Generally speaking, one tends to view a thing in the perspective of state of mind he is in. In other words different perspectives colour a same object in indifferent hues.

[arvind kumar saran]

Dear Friends,

Here is a Joke :

TiGeR

GF is big hunter. Once he went to a zoo. At that time a big TiGeR escaped from its cage. The zoo officials sent everyone out of the zoo and closed the main gate. Now the TiGeR is inside the zoo but wandering freely.Zoo people requested hunter to go inside and trap the TiGeR in a cage.Scared but to avoid insult he went into the zoo in his jeep carrying a big gun. While driving on one of the zoo's roads, he noticed that the TiGeR is chasing him. Feeling scared he drove the jeep fast but only to observe that the TiGeR is very near to the jeep. At that time the road separated into two paths ahead, one to the left and other to the right. Then cleverly hunter put the left indicator on and turned the jeep to the road on right. The TiGeR runs into the left path. With a sigh of relief, he drove forward. After some time the roads meet and the same situation arises again. once more the road divides into two and this time our great hunter is smart enough to put the right indicator on and turned to left. This time the TiGeR goes into the road on right side. After some time the roads meet again to our hunter's misfortune and the TiGeR starts to chase him again. This time the road never divides and our hunter thought the TiGeR would catch him. Then a brilliant idea struck his mind. He slows down his jeep taking it to the left corner of the road. Then
he held his hand outside and a gives signal which is given for vehicles which want to overtake. The TiGeR this time overtakes his jeep and runs forward.

Moral Of the Story :- There are GF Communities in TiGeR too.

[GoldFinger]

Dear Friends,

Here is a Joke :

TiGeR

GF is big hunter. Once he went to a zoo. At that time a big TiGeR escaped from its cage. The zoo officials sent everyone out of the zoo and closed the main gate. Now the TiGeR is inside the zoo but wandering freely.Zoo people requested hunter to go inside and trap the TiGeR in a cage.Scared but to avoid insult he went into the zoo in his jeep carrying a big gun. While driving on one of the zoo's roads, he noticed that the TiGeR is chasing him. Feeling scared he drove the jeep fast but only to observe that the TiGeR is very near to the jeep. At that time the road separated into two paths ahead, one to the left and other to the right. Then cleverly hunter put the left indicator on and turned the jeep to the road on right. The TiGeR runs into the left path. With a sigh of relief, he drove forward. After some time the roads meet and the same situation arises again. once more the road divides into two and this time our great hunter is smart enough to put the right indicator on and turned to left. This time the TiGeR goes into the road on right side. After some time the roads meet again to our hunter's misfortune and the TiGeR starts to chase him again. This time the road never divides and our hunter thought the TiGeR would catch him. Then a brilliant idea struck his mind. He slows down his jeep taking it to the left corner of the road. Then
he held his hand outside and a gives signal which is given for vehicles which want to overtake. The TiGeR this time overtakes his jeep and runs forward.

Moral Of the Story :- There are GF Communities in TiGeR too.


Dear AKS,

There are GF Communities ONLY in TiGeRs !! :D

[James Bond]

Once GFinger and Bugsbunny were traveling in one train. Bugs was trying to open his suitcase to take out his night dress, but he was unable to open it. GFinger came and opened the suitcase and said " GFinger Tiger ka bachcha hai" and went off .

After an hour Bugs was busy in opening his lunch box, but he could not open it. GFinger came, opened the box and said "GFinger Tiger ka bachcha hai" and went off .

After some time Bugs was trying to open the door of the toilet but he could not. Again GFinger came and opened it with one kick and said " GFinger Tiger ka bachcha hai"

This time Bugs became angry and really bugged. He asked GFinger "oye muzhe ek gal bata, teri ma jungle gayi thi ya Tiger tere ghar aaya tha?" and went off

[Big Boss]

Dear SardarniPJ, I want to thank you so much for creating this thread because it is keeping me in splits. I have been traveling recently and am in Turkey at this moment but I found time specially to see how you, Navin, Baljeet, AK, Don and other friends have made mince meat of that pathetic Gfinger. :D Bechare ka keema bana diya.

Here are a couple from my side -----

Once GF was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column SEX. He was not sure as to what was to be filled there. After much thought he wrote THRICE A WEEK. On seeing this in his application form, he was told that it was wrong and what they wanted it to be filled was either MALE or FEMALE. Again GF thought for a long time before coming up with an answer PREFERABLY FEMALES.:D

GF went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked “Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?”
Yes of course,” said the doctor, “why not!”
“Oh How nice it would be I have been illiterate for so long” replied GF with joy.

[Navin]

Dear Big Boss,

Thanks for all the compliments. Here are some more I got my hands on:



A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his neighbor, GF, came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. He opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into his house.
A little later he came out of his house again, looking nervous, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house he went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here our GF came again, looking very heated up.
He marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it shut harder than ever. Puzzled by his actions, the man asked him, "Is something wrong?" To which the ferocious GF replied, " There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail!"

Mrs. GF caught her husband GF searching high and low all around his living room.
Mrs. GF: "What are you searching for?"
GF: "Hidden cameras!"
Mrs. GF: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?"
GF: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying 'You are watching the Star World channel'. How does he know that?"

Cheers!

[Navin]

GF finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask Bhagwan for help.
He goes into the temple and begins to pray..........."Oh Bhagwan, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lottery"
Lottery night comes and somebody else wins it.
GF goes back to the temple................
"Bhagwan, please let me win the lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well"
"Lotto night comes and GF still has no luck!!
Back to the temple..................
"My Bhagwan, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving.. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the sky parts open and the GF is confronted by the voice of Lord:
"GF, BUY THE DAMN TICKET FIRST"

[GoldFinger]

Good tries by 007 alias James Bond alias Navin

[Navin]

Good tries by 007 alias James Bond alias Navin

So you think I'm giving you a taste of your own medicine, GF? LOL. Keep dreaming, Rajesh Tomar R/O Agra Mental Asylum!

[GoldFinger]

So you think I'm giving you a taste of your own medicine, GF? LOL. Keep dreaming, Rajesh Tomar R/O Agra Mental Asylum!


hi......NAVIN alias 007 alias James Bond alias Wizard et al;

Don't you see thar because of volume of your silly posts, you have been made a senior member here..and you are passing derogatory remarks.

You don't have to come down to street-lingo to convey your points.

What lessons will take all newbies from you....THINK IT OVER

[Navin]

hi......NAVIN alias 007 alias James Bond alias Wizard et al;

Don't you see thar because of volume of your silly posts, you have been made a senior member here..and you are passing derogatory remarks.

You don't have to come down to street-lingo to convey your points.

What lessons will take all newbies from you....THINK IT OVER

LOOK WHO'S TALKING HERE! :eek: The volume of your posts is 25- 30% more than mine....and your posts are the ones which are stupid....any other genuine member would vouch for that! What street lingo are you talking about? That is more likely to be your domain...but if you start that with me here, you'll get beaten in that department too. Just try and provoke me. The newbies have a mind of their own....then don't have to take cues from you. So cut the crap!

[baljeet2n]

Please guys, dont fight here! atleast not on this thread!

And Mr. Goldfinger if you think thats its enough and you dont want these jokes to continue (which I percieve is true) just say it. We all will stop this. And dont say that you are enjoying the jokes when u dont! Just accept it, it makes situations easier and simpler.

Cheers!
Baljeet

[GoldFinger]

LOOK WHO'S TALKING HERE! :eek: The volume of your posts is 25- 30% more than mine....and your posts are the ones which are stupid....any other genuine member would vouch for that! What street lingo are you talking about? That is more likely to be your domain...but if you start that with me here, you'll get beaten in that department too. Just try and provoke me. The newbies have a mind of their own....then don't have to take cues from you. So cut the crap!


Listen son,

I do not think you r still a street urchin. but your tone and nasty outlook to life makes me think otherwise and is matter of concern.

I do suggest some self-control and thinking of good thoughts, may be that will help you grow into a healthy adult..

I will give u further expert advice when you give your family details like marriage etc.....

You get provoked or not that's not my business.

[Navin]

Listen son,

I do not think you r still a street urchin. but your tone and nasty outlook to life makes me think otherwise and is matter of concern.

I do suggest some self-control and thinking of good thoughts, may be that will help you grow into a healthy adult..

I will give u further expert advice when you give your family details like marriage etc.....

You get provoked or not that's not my business.

CALL YOUR FATHER YOUR SON, NOT ME! GET THIS STRAIGHT GF, YOU MESS WITH ME, YOU LOSE BIG TIME! SO, TELLING YOU FOR THE LAST TIME....CUT THE CRAP AND GO TO SLEEP!

[GoldFinger]

hi Baljit,

pl continue

you see I have'nt been vulgar and nasty like this guy here.

So iggy everything and continue with your beautiful postings :)

[GoldFinger]

Please guys, dont fight here! atleast not on this thread!

And Mr. Goldfinger if you think thats its enough and you dont want these jokes to continue (which I percieve is true) just say it. We all will stop this. And dont say that you are enjoying the jokes when u dont! Just accept it, it makes situations easier and simpler.

Cheers!
Baljeet

hi,

I enjoy every bit of your gems...and was missing it yesterday.

glad to tell u I am this week winner here...hope next it will be you. :)

So, I stand here defenseless against your jokes.

com'on Get ,Set ,go

[sardarni pj]

HEY EVERYBODY.....WAT ALL IS HAPPENING HERE.........I THINK I STARTED THIS THREAD TO BURST OUT UR LAUGHTER...NOT UR ANGER...OR SORTS

I WAS OFF FOR FEW DAYS COZ OF MY EXAMS...N LOOK WAT U GUYS HAVE DONE BEHIND MY BACK........I DIDN'T EXPECTED THIS YAAR

NOW STOP FIGHTING OR ELSE.......I'LL STOP POSTING MY REPLIES HERE....THIS IS NOT THE ONLY THREAD WHICH IS FILLED UP WITH SUCH KINDA ARGUEMENTS.....ATLEAST U CUD HAVE SPARED THIS ONE OUT.........CUT IT OUT MAN!!!!

[sardarni pj]

HEY BIG BOSS
IT FEELS VERY NICE TO C UR RESPONSE TO MY EFFORTS........N THNX TO U TOO..WHO TRIED GIVE A HELPING HAND IN OUR ENDEAVOUR TO SPREAD HAPPINESS N LAUGHTER :)
Dear SardarniPJ, I want to thank you so much for creating this thread because it is keeping me in splits. I have been traveling recently and am in Turkey at this moment but I found time specially to see how you, Navin, Baljeet, AK, Don and other friends have made mince meat of that pathetic Gfinger. :D Bechare ka keema bana diya.

Here are a couple from my side -----

Once GF was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column SEX. He was not sure as to what was to be filled there. After much thought he wrote THRICE A WEEK. On seeing this in his application form, he was told that it was wrong and what they wanted it to be filled was either MALE or FEMALE. Again GF thought for a long time before coming up with an answer PREFERABLY FEMALES.:D

GF went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked “Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?”
Yes of course,” said the doctor, “why not!”
“Oh How nice it would be I have been illiterate for so long” replied GF with joy.

[GoldFinger]

HEY EVERYBODY.....WAT ALL IS HAPPENING HERE.........I THINK I STARTED THIS THREAD TO BURST OUT UR LAUGHTER...NOT UR ANGER...OR SORTS

I WAS OFF FOR FEW DAYS COZ OF MY EXAMS...N LOOK WAT U GUYS HAVE DONE BEHIND MY BACK........I DIDN'T EXPECTED THIS YAAR

NOW STOP FIGHTING OR ELSE.......I'LL STOP POSTING MY REPLIES HERE....THIS IS NOT THE ONLY THREAD WHICH IS FILLED UP WITH SUCH KINDA ARGUEMENTS.....ATLEAST U CUD HAVE SPARED THIS ONE OUT.........CUT IT OUT MAN!!!!


Hi Miss SPJ,

welcome back,

How was ur exam. hope u did well there and did not put jokes instead of answers on ur answersheet.

Missed your jokes last few days..even Baljit was away (maybe for exams too)

I am also pained .It's not me who has thrown filth on this thread, Navin started it. I will delete all post addressed to him to keep the sanctity of the thread. :)

[sardarni pj]

U WILL DELETE THE POSTS ADDRESSED TO NAVIN???.............AS IF IT WILL DELETE UR DEEDS AS WELL.....NOW WHAT BOTH OF U HAVE DONE.,,,,,,,IS DONE.........PLZ DON'T DELETE THEM AS IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.....N THE PERSON WHO HAS REPLIED TO UR POST WILL SOUND STUPID.........INSTEAD U CAN LET EVERYTHING THE WAY IT IS.........N NJOY THE CHARM OF THE THREAD

AND AS FAR AS MY EXAMS R CONCERNED ..THEY R GOIN ON ABSOLUTELY FINE....N I SURELY DON'T KNOW ABT BALJEET WHOS NOT CUMING ONLINE JUST B'COZ I HAVE EXAMS.......DOESN'T MAKE NE SENSE...........DOES IT???

DON'T APPLY UR MIND ........COZ I CAN MAKE OUT WHAT U R TRYING TO SAY.....N I'LL DIRECTLY TELL U THAT BALJEET N ME R ABSOLUTELY TWO DIFFERENT PERSONS.........N R NOT LIKE U WHO MAKE FAKE IDS.....NOT BEING TOO BLUNT......I WUD SUGGEST U TO JUST SIMPLY NJOY THE JOKES.........N THATS IT

Hi Miss SPJ,

welcome back,

How was ur exam. hope u did well there and did not put jokes instead of answers on ur answersheet.

Missed your jokes last few days..even Baljit was away (maybe for exams too)

I am also pained .It's not me who has thrown filth on this thread, Navin started it. I will delete all post addressed to him to keep the sanctity of the thread. :)

[GoldFinger]

hi SPJ,

I am not saying you and Baljit are one person.I am saying that she too was out...so GF jokes looked very deserted place for last couple of days. :)

[baljeet2n]

Hi Miss SPJ,

welcome back,

How was ur exam. hope u did well there and did not put jokes instead of answers on ur answersheet.

Missed your jokes last few days..even Baljit was away (maybe for exams too)

I am also pained .It's not me who has thrown filth on this thread, Navin started it. I will delete all post addressed to him to keep the sanctity of the thread. :)


GFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!

How do you think from your non existent brains??????????
Me and Exams :D ! Actually at my workplace, no exams r held ;)

As for yesterday there was some network problem!
so dont tire your brains further....your legs will start aching!

[GoldFinger]

GFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!

How do you think from your non existent brains??????????
Me and Exams :D ! Actually at my workplace, no exams r held ;)

As for yesterday there was some network problem!
so dont tire your brains further....your legs will start aching!

hi
The wonderful thing is,while interacting with some of members of this Forum it suffices me to reply from my non-existent brains. while interacting with some discerning members, I use my hidden resources. Incidentally, yours achingly bagged a goodies bag this week.

Yeppo,You are as usual right, my legs are still now aching. My brainy legs due to over-exertion wanna take a day or two or three or..24...36 off.

Yours achingly,
cheers

[GoldFinger]

PS--Recent researches have indicated that lengths of legs, ie, part of total height, of human beings are in direct proportion to the amount of grey matter,they carry.

Further in the study women have FAIRED better than men ( I guess it is because they are FAIRER sex).

GF is 5-10. So I would guess a guess that the guesses you would make on the study,wouldn't be in total harmony with the guesses that gentlemen here would guess, and the guesses I would guess based on guesses of menfolk and reguesses of womenfolk would not go against the guesses I would guess on the guesswork of people conducting the study,guessing that guesses of members of www.indya.com are not guesses actually but the guesses that they would make on the forum


Guess correctly and win a dollar.

[Navin]

Dear Baljeet,

Hi! It is hard to have a sensible conversation with a grown up man who has the brains of an 8 year old. He is jumping with glee at getting a goodie bag (worth how much? Rs.500? 1000? 2000? lol). What he does not realise is that he has been given a lollipop for burning midnight oil to create 150 plus ids for this forum and filling up their pages with mindless stuff like the above posted "guesswork" message. Labour is indeed cheap in this country. ;)

[GoldFinger]

Dear Baljeet,

Hi! It is hard to have a sensible conversation with a grown up man who has the brains of an 8 year old. He is jumping with glee at getting a goodie bag (worth how much? Rs.500? 1000? 2000? lol). What he does not realise is that he has been given a lollipop for burning midnight oil to create 150 plus ids for this forum and filling up their pages with mindless stuff like the above posted "guesswork" message. Labour is indeed cheap in this country. ;)


You guessed incorrectly, still you win a minus Dollar.
Check your box daily for the prize.

Pl do complain here, if your box is still empty after a week.

[Don]

Hi all, these jokes are just great. I am lovin it. Pl continue

[GoldFinger]

Dear Indya,

This thread, starring GF ,started by sardarni PJ :D is starting quite a rage.


Everybody is starting to like it.

Big Boss started sending a congratulatory SMS all the way from Turkey.

Don has started hurting himself laughing...Presently he can not stop guffawing...while eating, he laughed, and that piece of uncooked lobster, disturbed, clawed him.

Baljit2n has found an outlet to laugh and leave behind office worries.

Navin has started to love it too..and has sharpened his attack on GF with the implicit approval of Baljit2n. Though he has dirtied up the place, I volunteered to mop up the tread, but the offer got spurned.

AKS has not started ................??? :confused:

I strongly recommend Sardarni PJ for This Week Award and a double, bulging-out-to-the-seams goodies-bag.

PS....After the award, hope you will start to take out your joker GF on a picnic and share the goodies. ( GF is pure veg..I am sure they would be packing in some foodstuff imported all the way from HK inside that mystical goodies bag)

[GoldFinger]

Hi......DON :D

You are loving.....it

You are loving.....that

You are loving ...these

You are loving....those

You are loving...girls

You are loving....boys

You are loving.....jokes

You are loving.....fights

Why the heck, r u loving things at other expense...u lazy boy.

Can't you now, for the love of Mike, after so much loving, graduate towards contributing something here...

Or else rename yourself as Don't

take care

With no regards

Yours unsincerely.

[Don]

Gf is BUM ----- Yes
Gf can be anyone's chum?-------Hell NOOOO!!!
Sorry to disappoint you, but I have better taste in making friends.
Do not take the liberty of calling me ..a lazy boy! You do not have my permission for that. I might be your father's age. How old are you btw?
As far as posting more messages is concerned on this forum , I am not sitting idle at home like you. But do not let that deter you from posting your nonsense, my boy! Cause I'm lovin it.:D
If there was an award for being the most hated person on this forum, it would surely go to u and I would request the moderators to give you an additional gift bag for that too. I would love it:D

[GoldFinger]

Hi Don,

"It is better to listen,
with the intent to understand.
Than to listen,
with the intent to reply."

Looks you aren't such a bad boy afterall. :D

Above quote is not for you but for your bum chum Navin. Kindly pass it on !

[Neo]

Presenting a small poem I wrote for the pleasure of all the members. Hope you enjoy it_____

Rajesh Tomer is a Mole
Who sold his soul
The price wasn't steep
It came quite cheap
For all it took was
One goodies bag
Rajesh Tomer is a Mole
Who sold his soul
He is so cunning
He'd do anything for winning
He wrote without a pause
But forgot his cause
Rajesh Tomer is a Mole
Who sold his Soul

[GoldFinger]

hi..

Dil laga liya ...tum se pyar karke..tum se pyar karke..

Dil chura liya....tum se ikrar karke...tum se ikrar karke...

Tujko paa liya ....tere intjaar karke......................tere intjaar karke......................

:)

[Pramod]

Hi GF..

is this a Joke or sher-e-shayari with a joke..

But anyhow...

wah..wah..wah..wah....

[GoldFinger]

hi Promod,

Caught these lines off a movie song playing on TV..

Nice melodious song...


Movie Name: Dil Hai Tumhaara (2002)
Singer: Alka Yagnik, Udit Narayan
Music Director: Nadeem-Shravan
Lyrics: Sameer
Year: 2002
Producer: Tips Films
Director: Kundan Shah
Actors: Arjun Rampal, Mahima Chowdary, Preity Zinta, Rekha
Theme: Love


Dil Laga Liya Maine Tum Se Pyaar Karke
Tum Se Pyaar Karke Tum Se Pyaar Karke
Dil Laga Liya Maine Tum Se Pyaar Karke
Tum Se Pyaar Karke Tum Se Pyaar Karke
Dil Chura Liya Maine Ikraar Karke
Maine Ikraar Karke Maine Ikraar Karke
Dil Laga Liya Maine Tum Se Pyaar Karke
Tum Se Pyaar Karke Tum Se Pyaar Karke
Mere Dil Jaani Mere Mahi Mere Dholna
Koyi Sunle Na Sada Dheere Dheere Bolna
Ishq Kiya Hai Maine Chori Nahin Ki Hai
Tere Sang Yaara Zora Zori Nahin Ki Hai

Chain Le Liya Maine Bekaraar Karke
Maine Bekaraar Karke Maine Bekaraar Karke
Dil Laga Liya Maine Tum Se Pyaar Karke
Tum Se Pyaar Karke Tum Se Pyaar Karke

Beech Safar Mein Kahin Mera Saath Chhod Ke
Tujhko Kasam Hai Nayyo Jaana Dil Tod Ke
Kaise Main Bataaon Tujhe Kaisa Mera Haal Ve
Jeena Marna Hai Ab Sab Tera Naal Ve
Tujhko Pa Liya Tera Intezaar Karke
Tere Intezaar Karke Tere Intezaar Karke
Dil Laga Liya Maine Tum Se Pyaar Karke
Tum Se Pyaar Karke Tum Se Pyaar Karke

[Pramod]

Hi GF,

What are you doing in a POST-A-JOKE Thread..?
Hope this song is not a joke for you..
The song is really melidious

And i think u shud create a new thread with the title SING-A-JOKE..

Howz my idea..?

[Big Boss]

HEY BIG BOSS
IT FEELS VERY NICE TO C UR RESPONSE TO MY EFFORTS........N THNX TO U TOO..WHO TRIED GIVE A HELPING HAND IN OUR ENDEAVOUR TO SPREAD HAPPINESS N LAUGHTER :)
It is my pleasure, lady. I found out some more

Sending Telegrams

* A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams, which the father receives as "Father, your daughter has been successful in BED."

* A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station sends a telegram to his wife "I wish you were here."
The message received by wife, "I wish you were her."

* A wife with near maturing pregnancy goes to railway station to return to her husband. At the reservation counter, while her turn came, it was the last ticket. Taking pity on a very old lady next to her in the queue, she offered her berth to the old lady and sent a telegram to her husband which reached as "Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, gave birth to an old lady."

* And the most famous of them all...

A man wants to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a birthday cake. The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake. Well he thinks for a while and says let's put, "you are not getting older you are getting better".
The salesman asks "how do you want me to put it?"
The man says, Well put "You are not getting older", at the top and "You are getting better" at the bottom.
The real fun didn't start until the cake was opened the entire party watched the message decorated on the cake "You are not getting older at the top You are getting better at the bottom"

[GoldFinger]

Hi GF,

What are you doing in a POST-A-JOKE Thread..?
Hope this song is not a joke for you..
The song is really melidious

And i think u shud create a new thread with the title SING-A-JOKE..

Howz my idea..?

How is your idea?

Downright stupid.

GF will always have right-of-way in this thread.
...........
remember................................Got it? :)

[Kareena]

How is your idea?

Downright stupid.

GF will always have right-of-way in this thread.
...........
remember................................Got it? :)
How rude can anyone get. Is this a way to speak to a senior member like Pramod. No wonder you are kicked on your butt by everyone here. :eek:

[GoldFinger]

Hi Indya,

Today is saturday.........In retrospect,........not by intent...I see that I have again scored and contibuted a lot of useful and positive content on this great Forum.

I had recommended Sardarni PJ for this week's prize with a double goodies bag...But seems Sardarni PJ and Baljit2n are vacationing...maybe...ex-india.

I think you don't have to look afar.....So I offer my candidature as the Most Eligible Candidate for this Week's prize..2nd time in a row.... :)

regards

[GoldFinger]

How rude can anyone get. Is this a way to speak to a senior member like Pramod. No wonder you are kicked on your butt by everyone here. :eek:

Dear Karinavina,

It's between me and Promod,

We vibe well.

I know how that great gentleman is going to take it.

My reply was to a personal pal...not to that RATboy.

Yes Promod???

[Kareena]

Hi Indya,

Today is saturday.........In retrospect,........not by intent...I see that I have again scored and contibuted a lot of useful and positive content on this great Forum.

I had recommended Sardarni PJ for this week's prize with a double goodies bag...But seems Sardarni PJ and Baljit2n are vacationing...maybe...ex-india.

I think you don't have to look afar.....So I offer my candidature as the Most Eligible Candidate for this Week's prize..2nd time in a row.... :)

regards

How cheap is this man! eeeks! Begging for gift hampers all the time. :eek:

[GoldFinger]

How cheap is this man! eeeks! Begging for gift hampers all the time. :eek:


Thanks kareenavina,

for your kind words

[Kareena]

Dear Karinavina,

It's between me and Promod,

We vibe well.

I know how that great gentleman is going to take it.

My reply was to a personal pal...not to that RATboy.

Yes Promod???
It seems like you have become obsessed with Mr. Navin. Do you see his face in your dreams also? Can't you differentiate between a girl and a boy. You are not even worth talking to.

[GoldFinger]

It seems like you have become obsessed with Mr. Navin. Do you see his face in your dreams also? Can't you differentiate between a girl and a boy. You are not even worth talking to.

who is girl here? :)

[GoldFinger]

It seems like you have become obsessed with Mr. Navin. Do you see his face in your dreams also? Can't you differentiate between a girl and a boy. You are not even worth talking to.


hi Dear karinanavina,

You r apparently a newbie...but you were pointing towards the butt of a senior member here.

You can't be a girl at all....most likely a mixture you are...hope you r getting the point. :)

[Pramod]

Dear Kareena,

Thankx for supporting me....

But for Gods sake stop this .... ( Especially GF )...

Don't expose your anger towards Navin... Keep it between yourself and Navin..

Let us discuss something good for ourselves ( I mean Indya Forum Members ) and for STAR PLUS... And this is a Joke Thread..Post some jokes yaar.. let us laugh and make others laugh

[sardarni pj]

Dear Kareena,

Thankx for supporting me....

But for Gods sake stop this .... ( Especially GF )...

Don't expose your anger towards Navin... Keep it between yourself and Navin..

Let us discuss something good for ourselves ( I mean Indya Forum Members ) and for STAR PLUS... And this is a Joke Thread..Post some jokes yaar.. let us laugh and make others laugh

I M HAPPY ATLEAST SUMBODY OUT HERE IS SENSIBLE ENUF..........THNX YAAR PRAMOD
YES GUYS.....THIS THREAD IS A JOKES THREAD.......IF U IGNORE FEW COMMENTS BY SUMBODY TO B IGNORED.....N REPLY IT WITH SUM JOKES.......ITS GONNA END ALL PROBLEMS..........N Y HAVN'T BEEN POSTING FOR FEW DAYS IS COZ I M HAVIN MY EXAMS.......N BESIDES THIS, I WAS GETTING FED UP OF THESE ARGUEMENTS ON MY THREAD.........THOUGH I USED TO CHECK IT REGULARLY HOPIN SUMBODY WUD SEND A GUD GF JOKE ON THIS GF JOKES THREAD
BUT NOW I HOPE ITS GONNA GET BETTER :)

[sardarni pj]

Presenting a small poem I wrote for the pleasure of all the members. Hope you enjoy it_____

Rajesh Tomer is a Mole
Who sold his soul
The price wasn't steep
It came quite cheap
For all it took was
One goodies bag
Rajesh Tomer is a Mole
Who sold his soul
He is so cunning
He'd do anything for winning
He wrote without a pause
But forgot his cause
Rajesh Tomer is a Mole
Who sold his Soul

HEY NEO.........A V. GUD EFFORT ...I MUST SAY
QUITE CREATIVE............I LUVED UR POEM

[sardarni pj]

GF.......thnx but no thnx for recommending my name...coz there's no need to do it......indya authorities r better judges to do that job themselves
n i think u recommended that too just for increasing one more senseless post of urs just for that very much desired goodie bag of urs.............n now its gettin too cheap on that part........plz agar is thread mein post karna hai then limit to to few gud jokes.......n not ur criticism or arguements.......i'll b really grateful to u for that if u do that
Hi Indya,

Today is saturday.........In retrospect,........not by intent...I see that I have again scored and contibuted a lot of useful and positive content on this great Forum.

I had recommended Sardarni PJ for this week's prize with a double goodies bag...But seems Sardarni PJ and Baljit2n are vacationing...maybe...ex-india.

I think you don't have to look afar.....So I offer my candidature as the Most Eligible Candidate for this Week's prize..2nd time in a row.... :)

regards

[Kareena]

Dear Pramod and Sardarni pj, Thank you for your advice. But as is my nature could not see somebody posting rude messages here to Pramod so had to reply. I will not get embroiled in some tug of war here and I will speak to only sensible people on this forum in future. :)

[sardarni pj]

HEY KAREENA..........I'LL APPRECIATE U FOR THAT SENSIBLE DECISON.........N I WILL EXPECT U TO POST FEW GUD GF JOKES IN THIS THREAD TO LAUGH...N MAKE OTHERS LAUGH AS WELL

Dear Pramod and Sardarni pj, Thank you for your advice. But as is my nature could not see somebody posting rude messages here to Pramod so had to reply. I will not get embroiled in some tug of war here and I will speak to only sensible people on this forum in future. :)

[Pramod]

Hi Kareena,
That's the spirit..
Now you have completed your exams..
so shoot a laughing joke on examination...

[GoldFinger]

dear Kareenavina,

...If you think you are a girl....go to doc and get a certificate....A newbie on this forum can't be as vulgar as your crappy mind.like you.

If you can't talk without expletives...you got no business here...go and play with street urchins like Navin who shares your foul mouth....

[Kareena]

As advised by Sardarni pj and Pramod I am going to ignore this vulgar man called goldfinger. And I openly support Mr Navin against you. So there..

I just rembered a joke on examination, Pramod, so here it is....

A young student reported for a final examination that consisted of only true/false questions.

The student took a seat in the hall, stared at the test for five minutes, removed a coin from his pocket and started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet. Heads meant true, tails meant false.

The young student finished the exam in 30 minutes, while the rest of the class was sweating it out.

Suddenly, during the last few minutes, the young student began desperately throwing the coin and sweating profusely.

The moderator, alarmed, approached the student and asked what was going on.

"Well, I finished the exam in half an hour," said the student, "but I thought I ought to recheck my answers."

[Kareena]

Two more

A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.

On the paper there was a single line which simply said: "Is this a question?" - Discuss.

After a short time he wrote: "If that is a question, then this is an answer."

The student received an "A" on the exam.

This one is really funny......

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"

[sardarni pj]

TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
GF: "HIJKLMNO! "!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
GF: Yesterday you said it's H to O !

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER : GF, go to the map and find North America.
GF : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : GF!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER : GF, how do you spell "crocodile"?
GF : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
GF: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : GF, give me a sentence starting with "I".
GF: I is...
TEACHER : No, GF. Always say, "I am."
GF : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE?"
GF: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots !
GF: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER : GF, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his ?
GF: No, teacher, it's the same dog !

[GoldFinger]

Dear Kainavina,

Don't try your hand at humour....your jokes smell as bad as your foul mouth..

Suggest you should continue what you r good at...speaking vulgarites and expletives and butt language..I really pity you...u a pityless girl...you r a shame on womenhood....that's how now you are a mixed creature.

[sardarni pj]

FIRST PRACTICE WAT U SAY GF.......U R MENTIONIN HER TO B A FOUL MOUTH N MANY THINGS MORE.......BUT CHECK OUT UR OWN LANGUAGE AS WELL B4 THAT........URS IS MORE WORSE......
I HAD ASKED U B4 ALSO TO STOP CRITICISING OTHERS.......N I M ASKIN U TO DO THAT AGAIN.....SO PLZZZZZZZZZZZZZ STOP IT YAAR
IF U WISH, U CAN ALSO IGNORE THE POSTS THAT U FIND MESSY.........N STARTIN POSTING SUM GUD JOKES
IF KAREENA'S JOKES DIDN'T INTEREST U THEN U R MORE THAN WELCUM TO LET OUT UR JOKES FOR OTHERS TO COMMENT OR COMPLIMENT UR EFFORTDear Kainavina,

Don't try your hand at humour....your jokes smell as bad as your foul mouth..

Suggest you should continue what you r good at...speaking vulgarites and expletives and butt language..I really pity you...u a pityless girl...you r a shame on womenhood....that's how now you are a mixed creature.

[GoldFinger]

FIRST PRACTICE WAT U SAY GF.......U R MENTIONIN HER TO B A FOUL MOUTH N MANY THINGS MORE.......BUT CHECK OUT UR OWN LANGUAGE AS WELL B4 THAT........URS IS MORE WORSE......
I HAD ASKED U B4 ALSO TO STOP CRITICISING OTHERS.......N I M ASKIN U TO DO THAT AGAIN.....SO PLZZZZZZZZZZZZZ STOP IT YAAR
IF U WISH, U CAN ALSO IGNORE THE POSTS THAT U FIND MESSY.........N STARTIN POSTING SUM GUD JOKES
IF KAREENA'S JOKES DIDN'T INTEREST U THEN U R MORE THAN WELCUM TO LET OUT UR JOKES FOR OTHERS TO COMMENT OR COMPLIMENT UR EFFORT

you see karinavina's first post here....it's not me who started it ...he (karinanavina) started with a foul language...you see his previous post..may be first one..I guess ..that time too, he was very foul mouthed..

I am a piece loving person....
His language isw as foul as that RATboy Navin's and...???(guess it)...


But love is returned with love..
blood is returned with blood plus interest...

[Neo]

Dear Sardarni. Thanx for appreciating my poem. I am really pained to see the way this gf is behaving here today. He has no manners at all. I also agree with Pramod that there should be a separate thread called Fighting Zone where goldfinger can fight with all his opponents. I have been watching this tamasha for a long time now and my heart goes out with Navin. Like most other members I also support him as truth is on his side.
I have a suggestion for you Sardarni. Somehow, just because this thread is named "GF Jokes", Gf thinks and has claimed that he has a "right of way" here. He thinks this thread belongs to him and he can come and use obscene language here anytime he feels like. You can do one thing, just change the Title of the thread from "GF Jokes" to "Mast Jokes" or "Rocking Jokes" or whatever other name you like. Then he will not be able to claim undue credit for this thread. He has already got more publicity from this thread than he deserves. :)

[GoldFinger]

Cont'd...

As such some r already on my ignore list...Neo..Vikas...Big Boss...???.....???.....????......?etc.

They don't even deserve my..beloved spit.

[GoldFinger]

Karinanavina, Neo, Big Boss , Vikas..are the most pathetic, parasitical, pitiful character with no personality of their own, on board.

Vikas, a gutter insect, has crappy gob 24 hr a day...and want more of it..and keeps searches public toilets to get another mouthful,kicked out even from there,he comes here to spit out. Further, he has dirtied up the whole forum asking everyone to lodge police complaints

Neo goes to everybody and begs him repeatedly to tell him/her that he agrees with him/her though nothing ever sinks into his birdbrain...

Big Boss, deserted by his kith and kins, pokes his swollen beak into everyone else's affairs but his own. I think he should daily sweep his gob with a broom to keep it presentable.

Navin's total existence revolves around me and the goodies bag....what I do..whom do I talk...what I am surfing..and so on. He can even cross Sahara desert for the goodies bag....provided somebody gives him a ride...He is even ready to cross a road for the goodies bag....if someone tells him how to.

He is total gutless creature afraid of a open wordy duel..he runs off to corner..and comes donning the attires of ..... shruti .... 007.... James Bond .... kareenavina .... superman....wizard.....kanchan...supercool....... spits out foul lingo and when hurt hides behind his mom.

Further the RATboy...keeps adding votes to his kitty..since morning he has gutlessly,slowly...added 5 more to 54.

Yesterday morning...he was 49....but by evening he had polled himself to 54..or so..........where others voting status stayed put as before.

Dear Admin,....Don't upgrade the status of guys/girls as above...they should be permanent rotten....or..newbies only. A case in point..........go thru the post of vikas...

[baljeet2n]

There was a GF who just got sick and tired of all the GF jokes he'd read at the star forum. So one evening he
memorized all of the state capitals. Back in the forum the next day, some guy started telling a Dumb GF joke. He interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these GF jokes. I want you to know that this dumb GF did something probably none of you could do. ....(no not those goodies bags) :D . I memorized all the state capitals."

One of the guys said, "I don't believe you."

He said, "It's true. Just test me!"

"Okay. What is the capital of Alaska?" he asked.

"A," he answered, smugly.

[GoldFinger]

There was a GF who just got sick and tired of all the GF jokes he'd read at the star forum. So one evening he
memorized all of the state capitals. Back in the forum the next day, some guy started telling a Dumb GF joke. He interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these GF jokes. I want you to know that this dumb GF did something probably none of you could do. ....(no not those goodies bags) :D . I memorized all the state capitals."

One of the guys said, "I don't believe you."

He said, "It's true. Just test me!"

"Okay. What is the capital of Alaska?" he asked.

"A," he answered, smugly.


"what was that?" A dumb, flabbergasted GF asks B2n.

"what is that 2n in B2n?" a bewildered GF asks B2n.

[baljeet2n]

Once Santa kept having the same weird dream everynight, so he went to a doctor.

Doctor: What was your dream about?

Santa: I was being chased by a vampire!

Doctor: (giggles quitely) So... what is the scenery like?

GF: I was running in a hall way.

Doctor: Then what happened?

GF: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!

Doctor: Does the door have any letters on it?

GF: Yes it did.

Doctor: And what did these letter spell?

GF: It said "Pull"

[GoldFinger]

Once Santa kept having the same weird dream everynight, so he went to a doctor.

Doctor: What was your dream about?

Santa: I was being chased by a vampire!

Doctor: (giggles quitely) So... what is the scenery like?

GF: I was running in a hall way.

Doctor: Then what happened?

GF: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!

Doctor: Does the door have any letters on it?

GF: Yes it did.

Doctor: And what did these letter spell?

GF: It said "Pull"


"Why R u getting intelligent GF mixed with All those silly,cartoonish Santa, banta?" a hurt GF asks B2n.

[baljeet2n]

"Why R u getting intelligent GF mixed with All those silly,cartoonish Santa, banta?" a hurt GF asks B2n.

GF!

Cant u understand anything in one go????????????????
I had said earlier also I use Santa's name just to make u happy coz u wanted that ki woh beech mein aaye. So next time u see santa or banta in between GF .....dont reply back just to increase ur posts!!!!!!!!!

[GoldFinger]

"Let's Yahoo.....B2n !!."....a nervous and anxious GF asks B2n..

B2n doesn't care to reply.

"Let's MSN.....B2n !!."....

B2n still doesn't care to reply.

"Let's ICQ.....B2n !!."....

B2n is still unmoved..

"Let's AOL.....B2n !!."..

"Ya.Sonnyboy..let's do ole ole..or ILU..ILU".....B2n snaps to GF.

[GoldFinger]

GF!

Cant u understand anything in one go????????????????
I had said earlier also I use Santa's name just to make u happy coz u wanted that ki woh beech mein aaye. So next time u see santa or banta in between GF .....dont reply back just to increase ur posts!!!!!!!!!


Thanks...

I am touched at your concern to see me happy.

But tum banta...santa ko alag tariqe se laate ho.

GF wishes the same for you.

PS....What about santo...banto?....I will be more at ease with Santo, banto......

[GoldFinger]

Hi B2n,

Good ones..really .great.

Keep it up......Beautiful lady!!!

:)
:p
;)

[Navin]

LMAO. LOOKS LIKE THIS RAJESH TOMER AKA GOLDFINGER PIG IS TRULY RATTLED NOW. HE KEEPS AWAKE IN FEAR WHEN EVERYONE ELSE SLEEPS. IN THE DEAD OF THE NIGHT HE COMES TO THIS FORUM WHEN EVERYONE IS ASLEEP AND CANNOT RESPOND TO HIS FILTHY SCUM FILLED WORDS. LOL. RAJESH TOMER AKA GOLDFINGER IS ONLY FILLED WITH MUCK, SO THAT'S WHAT COMES OUT OF HIM. IT IS OBVIOUS THAT HE HAS COMPLETELY LOST HIS MARBLES. HE DESERVES MY PITY AND IS IN DIRE NEED OF PSYCHIATRIC HELP.

[GoldFinger]

Letter from........

My dearestly dearer dear friend Baljeete 2n or is it 2m....whatever.

I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there. I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.

We don't live where we did when you last visited our home. My dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles.

I won't be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address.

Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate here, so that our address will remain same too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right in the bathroom. I was sure it worked too well. So last week I put in 3 shirts,3 jeans and 3 Ps, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. ( oh.had A TERRIBLE time that day as we had lots of visitors...couldn't come out of bathroom..oh how could I..with shirts, jeans and Ps stuck up in that damned washing machine).

The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The pullover you requested me to send you..I know winters are nearing, My mummy said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

My uncle has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.

By the way, you know I took my sistor to our club's poolside. The manager is a crook. He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in this club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?

My brother, Jetinder fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Your boyfriend, Balwinder, Ya..my BF, whom you stole from me during your last very friendly visit to us, is no more. He kicked the bucket trying to fulfill his father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he kicked the bucket. And your friend kicked the bucket while in the process of digging a grave for his father.

There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love
Your friend...still now...( oh got new BF....3 of them)
Sardarni PJ

P.S...1: B2n..or 2m...oh..whatever, seeing your expensive taste, I was going to donate you some healthy ..no.. hefty money (no..no...nothing like KBC2 cash..) but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter.

P.S...2:...You know I am thinking of chucking off those 3 moron and stupid sardar BFs of mine...I like this GF very much..Infact I am nuts about him...Infact...just thinking of him makes me go week in the legs...I mostly fall down...dreaming of him..

Yaar...He is the only guy till date,I have found who has so much humour...in him

My God ...yaar...I am totally gone case now...I am madly in love with him..this guy from U.P....This punjab di putri has started hating those punjab da puttar.. now

Lets go to U.P.....Yaar....Hope this time you won't steal him off me...

Oh...GF..hope you are on listening....

P.S...3:...oh....I will leave this PS3 for My GF.

[Pramod]

Hi Kareena,

Sardarji in Examination Hall

One sardarji was appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says, " it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief'.".

[GoldFinger]

Hi Kareena,

Sardarji in Examination Hall

One sardarji was appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says, " it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief'.".

What......?

Personal jokes between two boys...??
Didn't you know..karinavina...is a cross...Advise to stay off her...or else....he..navin.....will..........I am sure a good boy like will you will understand

[Navin]

Rajesh tomer goes to an electronics shop to buy a TV.

Do you have color TVs?

Sure.

Give me a green one, please.


Once Rajesh Tomer proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots.
He sets off to Africa and disappears.
Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one.
He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *AGAIN* barefeet!"

The Race
Rajesh tomer sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are doing The bystander A Marathon race is going on.
Rajesh tomer : What do they get from that?
Bystander : The winner will get a prize
Rajesh tomer : Then why are the others running?!

paranoid Rajesh tomer
Rajesh tomer was so afraid of bacteria, that he cooked his ice-cubes before he put them in his drink.

[Pramod]

Hi GF,

What a Joke yaar..?
I liked it...

OK GF this joke is for you..

Scene: Trench warfare on Pakistan border, Sikh regiment on one side.
Kartar Singh gets a bright idea, shouts, "Oye Abdul!"
A guy gets up from other trench, "Kya hai be"
Kartar Singh shoots!! BANG. The guy is shot dead!

Kartar Singh shouts again, "Oye Karim"
2 guys stand up, "Kya hai saala"
BANG BANG both khalaas are gone

Kartar Singh shouts again,"Oye Mustafa!"
2 more, BANG-BANG! dono khalaas!

Pakis get worried, they think: Saala Sardarji log, when did they get so smart? They decide to try the trick themselves.

"Abe Gurdev Singh"
silence
"Oye Gurdev Singh!!"
silence

"O bhai, Gurdev Singh!"

This time some one says, "Gurdev Singh ko kaun bula raha hai re?"

Paki gets up, "Main"

BANG! He goes!

[Navin]

What......?

Personal jokes between two boys...??
Didn't you know..karinavina...is a cross...Advise to stay off her...or else....he..navin.....will..........I am sure a good boy like will you will understand

U are a gone case totally now. No help is possible for you, Rajesh tomer

[GoldFinger]

hi....which one?you liked?

[GoldFinger]

U are a gone case totally now. No help is possible for you, Rajesh tomer


Guessed incorrectly...You win nothing....no..no..take these boots..as GF is very kind.

[GoldFinger]

LMAO. LOOKS LIKE THIS RAJESH TOMER AKA GOLDFINGER PIG IS TRULY RATTLED NOW. HE KEEPS AWAKE IN FEAR WHEN EVERYONE ELSE SLEEPS. IN THE DEAD OF THE NIGHT HE COMES TO THIS FORUM WHEN EVERYONE IS ASLEEP AND CANNOT RESPOND TO HIS FILTHY SCUM FILLED WORDS. LOL. RAJESH TOMER AKA GOLDFINGER IS ONLY FILLED WITH MUCK, SO THAT'S WHAT COMES OUT OF HIM. IT IS OBVIOUS THAT HE HAS COMPLETELY LOST HIS MARBLES. HE DESERVES MY PITY AND IS IN DIRE NEED OF PSYCHIATRIC HELP.


Still guessed incorrectly!!..You win nothing....ok..ok..take this lollypop.

[Vikas]

I do not know if dear Navin's guess was correct or not but My guess about you is 100% correct, boot maker. Aren't Tomars Chamaars, gf? Your profession is to make boots for us, so you should spend more time in doing your work rather than spending ur last pennies on the internet charges. And it will take just one phone call to find your residence address in agra. Your days are numbered, start counting them. Your time starts NOW

[Neo]

Bingo, Vikas. You have hit the nail on its head. Tomers are of course Chamars. That is the reason Gf hides that his real name is Tomer and does not write with his real name even after having 8 ids in that name with different spellings. Because he is a Chamar it is in his nature to beg. He keeps begging for gifts and money from Indya all the time. :D

[Pramod]

Hi all,

A magical dose to relax from this GF-Navin Mania...

A Joke Bomb:

Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh got fed up with the Indian Govt and decided to blow up the parliament. They took 2 bombs, put them in a suitcase in the front seat of their car and set off. Hari Singh asks "What happens if the bombs blast off now". Gani Singh says "Don't worry. I have a sparebomb in the back seat"

[GoldFinger]

PS.....3..;;

Glad to know that TRP rating of your thread GF jokes is all-time high and KBC2 and Punchlines threads are left much much behind...as this thread generated bigger no. of replies...how cute of you.. :) but there are a few unimportant developments.. :D

Navin and co....are shouting themselves hoarse asking you to rename the thread, as Dear Jealousy has them in total controls...!!

These pygmies will cry a demonic cry and dance a demonic dance out on the streets.....if you do as much as fold up the thread.

If you do not bow to their unfair demands....this RAT and co..are planning to do a PUNJAB Bundh..

And if you still don't heed them, they plan to set fire to this thread and neighbouring threads.

And if they still go unheard...This Klan plan to bombard this thread with their army of rats..with RATboy & Co. commanding them to chew and digest every word on this thread.....with Vikas and Neo gobbling down their droppings!!( wow !! these rats can come up with ORIGINAL ideas.!!)

If that does work either they plan to rob this forum of all smileys displayed on the showcase...motto..if they can't smile, why should you and B2n...and that ... that....that......GF

IF you still hold your own, they plan to attack and destroy Star Tv server.

If you still challenge their bluff, they plan to break each other's all computers,except their mouses.

And if that does not still elicit your reaction....This Pygmy Clan will do mass "ATAM DAAH" in front of their respective toilets...

And if they still go unheard...they plan to take rebirths and do it all over again and so on........in the fashion of group of dogs chasing their tails.

if you still stick to your guns...they plan to forget every thing as a nightmare.

Pardon...right now, I am dozing....will answer to your PS...2;; when awake. :D

[GoldFinger]

:D Hi All

It gives me great pleasure to announce that all those who made it to are now on my IggY List. Other hopefuls who could not make it, are requested to keep trying. This list will be updated fortnightly.

Pointless of these fools to post any message for me as they would be automatically spammed out.


:D IggY List :D

Current Honours (in order of seniority of dirtiest, rotten gob)

Vikas....................aka Navin
Neo......................aka Navin
Navin
Kareena...............aka Navin
Big Boss
007.......................aka Navin
James Bond..........aka Navin
Shruti
Superman.............aka Navin
Shruti .................. aka Navin

and Fighting Zone.......Where all of these pygmies dwell

[sardarni pj]

HEY GF...........GR8 MAN....EVEN U R INSPIRED BY ALL US.......TO CRACK SUM JOKES.........HAHAHAHAHA
I'LL GIVE U FULL MARKS FOR THIS ONE........AS U DID UR BEST.........N IT SEEMS THAT THIS ONE WILL GET "JOKE OF THE CENTURY" AWARD
GF N SARDARNI PJ.................HAHAHAHA ...............SERIOUSLY TELLING U.........I LAUGHED OUT ALOUD WHILE READING IT.............N STILL DOING SO
"GF MY BF................HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
CAN'T HELP IT..........HILARIOUS........ITS VERY MUCH DIFFICULT TO GULP.....BUT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
GR8 JOKE MAN :D

Letter from........

My dearestly dearer dear friend Baljeete 2n or is it 2m....whatever.

I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there. I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.

We don't live where we did when you last visited our home. My dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles.

I won't be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address.

Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate here, so that our address will remain same too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right in the bathroom. I was sure it worked too well. So last week I put in 3 shirts,3 jeans and 3 Ps, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. ( oh.had A TERRIBLE time that day as we had lots of visitors...couldn't come out of bathroom..oh how could I..with shirts, jeans and Ps stuck up in that damned washing machine).

The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The pullover you requested me to send you..I know winters are nearing, My mummy said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

My uncle has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.

By the way, you know I took my sistor to our club's poolside. The manager is a crook. He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in this club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?

My brother, Jetinder fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Your boyfriend, Balwinder, Ya..my BF, whom you stole from me during your last very friendly visit to us, is no more. He kicked the bucket trying to fulfill his father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he kicked the bucket. And your friend kicked the bucket while in the process of digging a grave for his father.

There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love
Your friend...still now...( oh got new BF....3 of them)
Sardarni PJ

P.S...1: B2n..or 2m...oh..whatever, seeing your expensive taste, I was going to donate you some healthy ..no.. hefty money (no..no...nothing like KBC2 cash..) but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter.

P.S...2:...You know I am thinking of chucking off those 3 moron and stupid sardar BFs of mine...I like this GF very much..Infact I am nuts about him...Infact...just thinking of him makes me go week in the legs...I mostly fall down...dreaming of him..

Yaar...He is the only guy till date,I have found who has so much humour...in him

My God ...yaar...I am totally gone case now...I am madly in love with him..this guy from U.P....This punjab di putri has started hating those punjab da puttar.. now

Lets go to U.P.....Yaar....Hope this time you won't steal him off me...

Oh...GF..hope you are on listening....

P.S...3:...oh....I will leave this PS3 for My GF.

[Navin]

Whatever dope you are on GF Tomar, keep sniffing it......it's pretty good stuff!:cool:

[GoldFinger]

The Ratboy is sitting with Big Boss and cloned Navins like...Neo..Vikas..Kareena...James bond...and others.

They are all depressed and desperate....with no goodies bag in sight...

Navin breaks the silence,taking a long pull at a bottle, which he had acquired by mugging a beggar.... " well..looks there's no hope...there is no way I can get that Goodie Bag.."

Big Boss nodded his sympathies..and suddenly sees a Postman riding on a bicycle..singing a song..

With a evil glint in his eyes,..he throws a wink at Navin..and goes and stops the Postman and eyes him threateningly... .Postman is six-footer from Haryana..Big Boss(BB) realizes his mistake as he is just four-footer... Postman gives a strong slap to BB. In avoiding the slap on his face..he meets the slap bang on his beak...there is cracking sound..as his beak gives way due to fracture...

Seeing all this Navin's clones rush and overpower the Postman and snatch the bag...They go thru' the bag..but there was no Goodie Bag..

"Let's waylay all the postman in town...one of them at-least must be carrying the goodies Bag that... that...stupid.. cunning GF won" quips Vikas.

"What if Admin hasn't dispatched the Goodie bag" Navin says, taking another long pull.

"So..then we should kidnap that Admin" again Vikas.

"Ya..that's a good idea..but he may have security".. Navin yelled...emptying the bottle.

"What about sneaking to his office in the night..we can rob all the goodie bags there"..Neo says smugly..

"What if keeps them in his Godown"...Navin snaps eyeing a begger greedily as he passes by..

Taking a cue, kareena gets up, mugs the beggar from behind...and produces a Add-ha (half bottle) with a sexy grin.

"what if we waylay the postman as he goes to deliver the goodie bag to GF" James Bond chips in.

"shut up... No one dares touch the postman of GF in this city..He is under his protection". BB barks.

"what if we rob GF's house in night" Neo whispers eyeing a passing dog greedily. Seeing him, dog disappears.

"Zip up..we don't know as yet, he has received the goodies bag" Navin....mopping his face,after a long pull.

"I seem to have cloned all stupid guys here..except that Kareenavina" Roared Navin.

As if getting a signal,Kareena goes to dog pissing on a street pole and puts a mug underneath. Seeing the anxiety on Karinavina face, dog took his time.

After Kareenavina returns with the mug filled to the brim.
and filled a glass and offered to Navin telling him it's imported Scotch.

Navin takes the sip and heaves a contented sigh with his eyes full of admiration for kareenavina.

"So You tell us" The clones chorused.

" I feel best thing is to ask those intelligent gals Baljeet2m and that Sardarni PJ they seem not bothered about Goodies bag and hate that crazy guy..GF." Navin..drawls.

" Ya Guru...good idea...how well you poisoned their minds against that bugger GF..WOW!!".. JB added.

"you know that reminds me Q-Branch gave me watch that auto detects any goodies bag leaving Star Office" JB continued.

Navin barked clenching his paws "what the hell r u doing wasting my time you idiot.use it and tell us"

"but this idiot Vikas ate the batteries away I had put out for charging.He told me that couldn't paw any craps..and ate the batteries as they smelled crappy". JB stepped back

Navin shouted viciously " OK..enough..OK..we meet tomorrow and ask those two gals for advice.0kkkk. I have to have that goodies bag..

All get up and start dispersing....with BB thinking...and not moving....

Seeing this, Vikas asks him what's the matter..and offers some dog shit to him....Taking a large helping,BB mutters "why this Navin shit yells so much?....doesn't he know I am the BIG BOSS ".

"forget him even I hate him like I hate everyone in the world...even my mom and dad.....he is just crazy about that goodies bag" Vikas pleads.

"maybe...but BTW why you hate your mom and dad"

"Because I didn't want to be born"...vikas says dejectedly..

"why"

" shit......I find everybody is smarter than me....other day I went to IQ test machine.....to check my IQ.......THAT idiotic machine...displayed the message.....INFANTS NOT ALLOWED.....oh...that's why I hate everyone and abuse everyone"...Vikas explained mouthing a large helping of dog-shit off the plate.

"listen got a gr8 idea...why not we take part in Mum Tum And HUM, they too got Goodie bags"...BB shrieks.

"I hate my Mom.. wont take part...I hate kids too."...Vikas shouts louder,his eyes darting here and there for some ready grub...finally fixing on a man going in a public toilet.

" I hate that GF he has robbed us the hegemony at the forum...now no one bothers about us. now we talk to each other and agree to each other. hell I have nothing in my skull, I can't do anything but to agree with other....In any case even that nutcase Navin too goes around and tells other members that he agrees with them"

"and that idiot GF has now put us on his damned Iggy list. How do I talk crap..my crappy mouth itches to eat and talk crap"

"listen we got that sensible chap Promod or Divya...why not we try to take the sense out of them. we may be able to divert their attention to us " ...... "B2n and SPJ, I suppose r too smart for us"

" No Divya is only interested in HK. Promod can be a fall guy as he agrees with us all the way. Anyway thank god B2n and SPJ both they dislike GF"

"but didn't u see u shithead..SPJ is totally in mad love with GF saying she falls down and all.....and that GF is playing hard to get?"

"Yuppie....this GF character..I can't decipher when SPJ has thrown all of herself at him....why he is not replying PS..2"

"beats me too...maybe he doesn't trust her...maybe he thinks she may not be good looking! or he dislikes Sardarnis, or he he is already too full".

"for me it makes no difference. I ain't that choosy" got any dog-shit left with you....yum..that was tasty. Dog was of which pedigree?

"I don't care as long as eatables are shitty."

"Must say you are a connoisseur". I particularly go for Alsatians's or Doberman's and cowdung"

"anyway I am thru' with this Jerk Navin and his broad Kareenavina. I am not getting time for food hunting"

"But he has cloned you. He is your master"

"Ya.. but. his lust for that goodies bag jarrs me"

"you are forgetting there could be some goodies for us too in the bag"

"You r a nutcase....Do you really think that moron Navin will share the bag with us?..He told me once he only shares with dogs"

"then we will get the share afterall both of us are nuts about dog-shit..ya know we just shared!! ".

" you ain't getting it..u nuthead....He considers at par with pigs"

"then why does he want us"

"coz he has no one else....ya know seeing his pathetic condition, even his parents have disowned him. His two sisters ran away the servants. Things r not good with him!!".

"then why does he play guitar in his avtar?".

" Oh..he wants to tell everyone that he is so cooool, talented!!, but he is the most rotten egg here. You must believe me. you see I am myself rotten..that's how we vibe".

"oh....haha,that remind me,--Can you keep a secret"

"No. I can't but try me !".

"This Navin sod lives in a orphanage..Even they plan to kick him out...they say that his whole outlook to life is cock-eyed and distorted.and most of all,this GF knows about it and seeing the terrible state of Navin, ths GF has managed to rope McDonald to send complimentary Happy Meals to him on daily basis".

"then why this guy hates GF"

"Coz right-thinking is alien to this sod (it's alien to me too) . and he is upset that GF discovered his secret whereabouts"









To-be-cont'd

[Pramod]

A Joke for a change ....

Sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a Thermos flask."
The Sardar asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The Sardar says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new Thermos.
His Sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a Thermos flask."
The boss asks, "What does it do?"
He replies, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The Sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

[GoldFinger]

Hi .all

So, RATboy did get hold of that elusive Goddies Bag.....I am sure his clones will be happy

I do wish lots of rats and mice, cockroches to him. I will
email a donkey to him as a token of non-appreciation of his efforts.

I wanted to continue the next episode of Goodies bag which I will do soo as he has managed to hijack the Goodies bag which was on my way. Plz keep holding your horses.

when B2n and that..that...SPJ ( SPJ I am flattered..tell me!!! did you kick off those 3 moron and stupid BFs of yours. I can reply to your love-ridden proposal if you so confirm).

[arvind kumar saran]

Hi All,

The GOODIES BAG do contain the well deserved clones of the 21st Century. In fact thanks to Star Indya for a innovative designed nice goodies bag. Beware, ANY impersonating ppls your Identity will be revealed. As it happened now.

[Pramod]

A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."
The man says, "Sorry officer I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I'll have a really bad asthma attack."

"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."
"I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death."

"Well, then we need a urine sample."
"I'm sorry officer I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I'll get really low blood sugar."

"Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."
"I can't do that, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm too drunk to do that."

[GoldFinger]

hi All

GF goes out for a walk and the forum gets sullen and sulky and boring.!!!!!

Come on, Do keep the forum lively.

I am sure there are members as talented as GF,waiting to be discovered.


PS..1------------B2n and SPJ, What's up...keep on.

PS..1.5----------Right now in NE, Open invitation to you both...do discover NEast on-the-house.shillong and all.

PS..1.6----------keep joking to keep ur jocular tooth shiny and sparkling.

\

[baljeet2n]

hi All

GF goes out for a walk and the forum gets sullen and sulky and boring.!!!!!

Come on, Do keep the forum lively.

I am sure there are members as talented as GF,waiting to be discovered.


PS..1------------B2n and SPJ, What's up...keep on.

PS..1.5----------Right now in NE, Open invitation to you both...do discover NEast on-the-house.shillong and all.

PS..1.6----------keep joking to keep ur jocular tooth shiny and sparkling.

\



I Disagree Lt. Col. Sunil Tomar.
The forum doesnt get boring when you r not around.
Its just ki there is a lot of peace then.
You find it boring coz when u cum back , u dont see ur idiotic and stupid posts in new posts link.........and you feel very out of the place....


Baljeet

[Pramod]

Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda.
The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back.
A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, "Oh, come on, and let’s eat the sandwiches."
Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"

[sardarni pj]

hey Guys !!!!! After A Long Break .......i M Back.........actually Was Bzy Bcoz Of My Studies.....but Not Exams (otherwise)............i've Gone Thru The Forum.......n I M Relieved That There's Sumwat Peace In Here. :) .......n Now on, My Jokes Will Continue But They Can B Irregular At Times...........so Plz Manage :D

[sardarni pj]

3 + 3 =8




Bataaon Kaise







Bataaon Bataaon!















Nahi Pata?!!









Arre Galati se!!!!!!!!!!!

[GoldFinger]

3+3=8...............???

chickenfeed !!!!!

take one 3
take another 3
give a toss or shake to any of above 3s........so the 3 faces right

so one 3 (read GF) faces left another 3 (SPJ) to right

now one is charged +ve and another -ve.

Now these 3s are attracted to each other and pulled closer. So these 3s are now mated in that they are hugging each other tightly...exactly the way SPJ wanna secretly and dreamily hug that gr8 GF.

while hugging these two 3s lose their identities and unite and become wholesome and healthy 8

PS...1......SPJ nice way of dangling a bait to me.....anyway I like it....mmmmm

[GoldFinger]

hey Guys !!!!! After A Long Break .......i M Back.........actually Was Bzy Bcoz Of My Studies.....but Not Exams (otherwise)............i've Gone Thru The Forum.......n I M Relieved That There's Sumwat Peace In Here. :) .......n Now on, My Jokes Will Continue But They Can B Irregular At Times...........so Plz Manage :D


hellllooo,

You see, I am hibernating these days as I see this forum is crawling with pure breed idiotic creatures.

and leaving aside AKS,Promod, Divya and few other intelligent members like B2n etc, guys and dolly birds here have Laloo's crappy fodder inside their rooftops and are living their boring parasitical lives.

So you see, its complete waste to share my gifted talents with these morons...some are already on my famed Iggy List

So so further you see, this forum is now deader than a dead crocodile since I took a walk off...and if AKS, Promod and others as mentioned above take off then this forum will get deader than a rotten fish!!!

So you see, I am watching you ALONG WITH THAT SWEET and gifted BABE B2n as to hOW ............ aND.....

[GoldFinger]

I Disagree Lt. Col. Sunil Tomar.
The forum doesnt get boring when you r not around.
Its just ki there is a lot of peace then.
You find it boring coz when u cum back , u dont see ur idiotic and stupid posts in new posts link.........and you feel very out of the place....


Baljeet


Hello,

Thanks for saying so many good words about me..I sicerely adore you for that.

But what is this Lt. Col. Sunil Tomar....
I think you wrongly copied and pasted this mistakenly.


With utmost regards

[Vikas]

Tu wapas aa gaya Chu**ye! Last time me and my friends had made you shit in your pants and you had to put your finger inside your a**hole to stop the flood, thus came the name goldfinger! :D I sent my men after you in Agra but you had run away to north east by then abandoning your hapless son and wife behind. My men took pity on your starving family and gave them two goodie bags. :D Still you complain that the goodie bags were not good enuf! My men reported back to me that even your aged mother was cursing you as a runaway (bhagoda) good for nothing!

It is visible to all members who is the idiotic buffoon here. You think all the people except you are fools here! You try to makkhan lagao other senior members like Pramod, Divya and, as an after thought, AKS (you had to edit your post to include his name otherwise you would have faced ridicule from him too) by excluding them from your insults. You think these senior people are fools to get carried away by your Makkhan lagao tactics :rolleyes:

You are not even a man but a eunuch (chakka) because now you have started hurling your veiled insults at ladies like Sardarni PJ and Baljeet 2N. because you cannot dare to speak to me and my friends directly. You thing Sardarni Pj is dying to hug a CHAKKA like you? :D What difference does it make whether your name is Sunil tomer or Rajesh tomer? We all know what slinky liar you are.

[baljeet2n]

Hey Guys!



As for as GF is concerned let him say whatever he wants........we all will not reply to any of his posts and will continue as if he hasn't posted at all. This is the best solution according to me! In normal circumstances we could hav asked administrator to stop GF and his irritating replies..........but here koi fayda nahi hai.......we wont get any reply!

Plz temme wat is your opinion on the issue


Vikas dont use this kind of language coz it will trigger the fights again and I am saying it again -not in the jokes section, there is a seperate fighting zone for this purpose!!


Baljeet

[Pramod]

Hi All,

Its back again.. I'm not talking of GF.. I'm talking of the rubbish languages that people use at others.. Plz for god's sake don't produce rubbish language in this forum.. There are many other forums u can talk openly.. Keep the forum clean

I agree with baljeete..it is better to ignore that argue... so if u don't like any members post then just ignore it.. or change the topic and shake hands..

[sardarni pj]

ABEY OHHH!!!!!!!................MERE ITNE BURE DIN NAHI AAYE KI I'LL HAVE TO HUG A PATHETIC PERSON LIKE U.............N FRM NOW ON.....DON'T U DARE SAY NETHING 2 ME LIKE THAT AGAIN.......OR ELSE.........U'LL HAVE TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCES
EK BAAT BATA.........AGAR TERE PALLE PADE TOH........TUJHE SABSE PANGE LENE MEIN MAZAA AATA HAI KYA?????..........DO U NJOY BEING RIDICULED BY OTHERS????.........IF YES THEN TELL ME .........MAIN TUJHE ITNI SUNAAUNGI NA.....LIFE MEIN AAJ TAK TUNE KISI KI NAHI SUNI HOGI.......AB DON'T FORCE ME TO CROSS MY LIMITS...........WARNA I'LL HAVE TO CONTINUE ALL THIS IN THE FIGHT SECTION..............MIND IT........U MINDLESS CREATURE




3+3=8...............???

chickenfeed !!!!!

take one 3
take another 3
give a toss or shake to any of above 3s........so the 3 faces right

so one 3 (read GF) faces left another 3 (SPJ) to right

now one is charged +ve and another -ve.

Now these 3s are attracted to each other and pulled closer. So these 3s are now mated in that they are hugging each other tightly...exactly the way SPJ wanna secretly and dreamily hug that gr8 GF.

while hugging these two 3s lose their identities and unite and become wholesome and healthy 8

PS...1......SPJ nice way of dangling a bait to me.....anyway I like it....mmmmm

[Pramod]

Jassi tries his luck in Kaun Banega Crorepati.
Amitabh : Ek hazaar rupeyo ke liye, aapka pehla sawaal. What does "C" stand for in the term LIC?
Aapke options: A) Company B) Corporation C) Colony D) Cell.
Jassi : Corporation!
Amitabh : Sure?
Jassi : Hah!
Amitabh : Confident!
Jassi : Yes!
Amitabh : Lock kar doo!
Jassi : Haaji!
Amitabh : Computerji please lock option B - corporation. Saahi jawab, aap ek hazaar rupey jeet gaye! Apne itna mushkil sawaal kaa jawaab diya... ab apse mein ek simple sawaal karoonga... Aapke pitaji ka naam kya hai?
Jassi : (sits silently)
Amitabh : (After a long pause) What is your father's name?
Jassi : (again sits silently, without uttering a word).
Amitabh : Aap chahe to aapke life lines istamal kar sakte hein.
Jassi : (still sits silently, says nothing)
Amitabh : Kya ab backout karna chahte hai?
Jassi : Oye nahi Amitji! Aapne abhi tak mujhe 4 options diye hi nahi!

[GoldFinger]

Dear All

It's rather sad to announce that because of foul language resorted to by Sardarni PJ, I HAVE no choice but but she/he has herself/himself earned a place in my famed Scoundrel's Gallery (http://203.199.124.12/showthread.php?t=274&page=13&pp=10) along with other creeps and scums of the planet. The language used by her is a dirty street language spoken rather by likes of RATboy and his clones. But from a lady's mouth it's awful and sickening and stomach-churning.

I am wondering if she is female, if yes god bless those who r in her company. she will give them a run for a rotten mouth.

Foul language from nauseating creeps like RATboy is ok but from a lady's mouth it's outright vulgar and damning.

Pity she can crack a joke but can't take it.

B2n is one of the most mature and graceful ladies on the forum...I offer her my utmost regards for her sensible post regarding ignoring my post..May God bless you

PS....1.Whatsoever, I have never used foul language in this forum....why....simply because, I have no time for scums, whosoever they are, as it is I don't bark back at street dogs. My precious IGGY LIST help me nicely in filtering out those shitheads.

PS....2.Henceforth....she ceases to exist for me...Infact everyone on my Scoundrel's Gallery does..

PS....3...Hey all...soon to come.....a Darling's List about to unfold........listing out some really good guys and dolly birds on the forum.

[Don]

Dear Sunil Tomar/Rajesh Tomar/goldfinger, By now it is known to all in the forum that you are a mentally sick person who is all the time begging for our attention. That is the reason no one cares about your IGGY LIST OR YOUR DARLING LIST. I am writing to you only out of sympathy and pity. It is my suggestion that you fix an appointment with your nearest government hospital psychiatrist. You edit and re edit your posts a dozen times and call yourself an artist who touches and retouches his painting:D lol. this is proof of your madness. SardarniPJ is loved and respected by all forum members and you are Hated and pitied by all. Do not dare to say a word to her. Add my name also in your Iggy list, I am feeling a bit left out without my friends. :cool: I'm lovin it!

[baljeet2n]

I know I was the one who asked everyone to ignore that pysho's posts. But since most of the members r replying to his posts.........my suggestion is of no use!!

So instead of keeping a mum...........

GF you r such a big liar...........u r saying u havent used bad language...wat a joke :rolleyes: If u call your language decent then u r megalomanic creature.........I cant call you a human. ANd bout your comments on PJ ...........they were not jokes, they r called personal comments. Like other members I would also suggest you to visit a physchatrist.........................And do add me in your iggy list..coz like others members I am also feeling left out


Baljeet

[GoldFinger]

Dear B2n,

Thanks.... you are such a beautiful lady...try as much as you can.......but you will NOT make it to my IGGY LIST.....You would rather find a place on my soon-to-be-announced Darling's List...that Iggy list is reserved for those creeps and scums whoose minds are rotten and those idiots mind everyone's business but their own. these rotten fishes are masters of foul and filthy language.


I am not a liar.....If you go thru' carefully..that 3+3=8 thing..It's rather funny..and one can take it or leave this..as far as your suggestion regarding..my visiting a psychiatrist........Honey...don't you really think you are being unreasonable...Don't you think you are being carried away..!!...anyway..i will consider seeing one to be sure...ok..

Now smile...no...a real smile..ok..

PS...Are you really sure you wanna place on the Scoundrel's Gallery...Are you feeling a low in your life..?? or may be it was a slip of pen..Don't you think you deserve something better..like a box of chocolate..or a Barbie for your POOh.??

[GoldFinger]

hey SPJ, :D

I find you have contributed a great deal on the Forum...but you need to control that tongue of yours.

so therefore if you tender a apology to me, I will take you off THE LIST and...........................will let bygones be bygones...and...fair enough??

:D

[GoldFinger]

Dear SPJ,

Each day is a new day....truly..with endless possibilites.

So therefore, :D

Ignore my earlier remarks about you....blame it on the heat off me....

Whatsoever your feelings about me....it's alright...no probs....

You r taken off the Scoundrel's Gallery as of now...this I say out of appreciation for you..

Afterall, I was forgetting the great time we had on-screen and off-screen.

Whatever, I was saying was saying.....Sabke saamne khul kar..hope you get the message.. :cool:

This may not matter to you at all....but I have a change of heart all of sudden.

And I harbour no ill-will or whatsoever -ve thoughts about you..

I am sure you are a gr8 girl...and will remain so...

God bless you..baby...

:D

[GoldFinger]

sardarni pj

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

HEY GUYS !!!!!........NOT A BAD SUGGESTION...........I AGREE WITH U ALL.........N NOW ON I M NOT GONNA REACT OR EVEN READ GF's POSTS AT ALL.........COZ THEY R ABSOLUTELY SENSELESS N FULL OF CHEAPNESS...........N ONCE I READ 'EM I WON'T B ABLE TO STOP MYSELF ABUSING HIM..........SO I HAVE DECIDED .........I'LL NOT GIVE HIS POSTS A GLANCE..............BRAVO TO U ALL...........U KNOW WAT.......NOW I REGRET MAKING THAT GF JOKES THREAD FOR SUCH A PSYCHO...........BUT ATLEAST USKE LIYE EK ALAG JAGAH HAI THEN WOH BAAKI JAGAH TOH GAND NI MACHAYEGA

Thanks my SPJ baby,

for your kind and thoughtful words....looks I am falling in love with you all over again.....take care...love.....you r a gr8 girl.....

you said---

NOW I REGRET MAKING THAT GF JOKES THREAD FOR SUCH A PSYCHO...........????

I am sure there should be a way to delete all.posts or delete the thread itself......I am with you.....you should delete it....as morons here are upset at the so-called publicity I got....and these pygmies are only getting my boots..........and you unwittingly sympatising their cause must make this thread disappear.....

Though you r a gr8 girl....but you have limitations too..you may choose to surmount them...but it will be an effort..................................I suggest you should practice indepenent thinking.............and not look at morons for ADVICE to chart your way....that way you will develop real confidence and not bolstered confidence....as you r doing now.......

But that doesn't mean you havn't my sympathy.......as I sympathise with those souls who are venerable, deceiable, defenseless and used to 2nd hand living.


but can't you write in english...baby...writing a punjabi-mixed Hindi..!!! Can't you write in simple English....or they don't teach you English ..or you are weak in the department there ;)

[Pramod]

A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor's office.

He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"

She replied, "I'm having a baby."

With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"

She answered, "He sure is."

Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"

She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."

With an even more surprised and shocked look he asked, "Then why did you eat him?"

[GoldFinger]

:D :D PART...1....

episode 1
-------------------

one day SPJ is returning back after 9-12 PM movie. She stops at a nukkad panwallah and ask for a packet of Dunhills. She lights one fag and offers one to her escort whose face is pig-shaped and has a tummy like as if he is hiding a giant watermelon.

As she drags on the cigarette she spots a girl who is admiring a billboard advertising a Fair & Lovely ad. She rushes to her and....

"Hello how r you" she said.

"fine, sorry, couldn't get you" the lady asked.

"you r Baljeet2n of Star Forum ? aren't you? SPJ said matter-of-fact. Meanwhile pig-face also caught on.

"yep...how did you place me...." the lady asked bewildered.

"well, I am SPJ...ha ha...simple....that's your Pooh the bear you r clutching..any idiot can place you" SPJ continued..(as if I am not a idiot....she thinks).

"But how the hell do I KNOW that you r SPJ....I don't place you". B2n returned.

"Well..well"...SPJ glanced the moron by her side as if for help.....but gave up seeing his zombie like state.

"OK..what do you want".....B2n said helpingly....

"wanted your advice as to how to deal with GF?".SPJ pleaded

"OK...now I place you...you r sure SPJ...oh very smart...SPJ...my sister..how nice meeting you" B2n replied glancing at the pig-face alongside SPJ.

"but who is this pig-head with you?" B2n continued.

"Pshhh.....He his my latest BF" SPJ whispered.

"That's bad !!! hoped you had some style...what on earth are doing with him...I am sickened...Can't you have some human looking BF..??..he looks a zombie and fugitive out on the run...can't even see his face fully...with all that stupid beard on.....at least tell him to use FIXO.."

"what can I do? sis !!....the bugger doesn't like to trim...I am all over bruised by his wretched beard". tears welled up in SPJ eyes...seeing the concern on B2n face.

"So GF was right....you having moronic BFS....he said there were three....where are other two".

"Other two are in hospital.....they hurt themselves badly...fighting over me". SPJ looked relieved.

"good....anyway...you aren't bad looking after all"

"Even You look good...So you are married"

"yuppie........" B2n looked dejected.

"HAHA....I am not married....but married" SPJ winks.

The pig-face is meanwhile..standing like a zombie and nudged SPJ..signalling to break off.

Ignoring him...SPJ continues...."sister !!"....she stopped seeing a guy passing hurriedly by her.."looks he is GF..his fingers looked all golden to me"

"can't be....what will that GF will be doing in a rat-hole like this..." B2n put in.

SPJ mouthed another cigarette....the pig-face producing a lighter as if by magic...SPJ lit up..offering one to B2n..

"Don't use this stuff.....B2n producing a gutka pouch out of purse...petting her POOH..."anyway..what's that GF..VF.....I thought you hated him".

"that I do..of-course..".........SPJ drawls viciously.." He is...he is..." she stopped clenching her nicotine-tipped teeth...He has the nerve to crack jokes on me and ridiculing me"...her face a snarl now.

"what..!!!...that 3+3=8...........why r u cross?..........wasn't that a smart reply from him?

"OK...but he could have PMed me the solution in private.....where was the need to provide the solution so openly..sabke saamne khul ke kahne ki kya zaroorat thi???".

"See ..I don't particularly dislike that character....But I was with you on the forum and with you here too..after all both of us are on the same Sardarni boat...and both of us are..you know what"....B2n cheered winking happily...

"anyway, you get rid of this zombie...He gives me shudders"..B2n went on.

"comon...doesn't matter..who cares....as long as these nutcases are loaded...and all pigs are grey in the...."......SPJ quipped shrugging...

"You are hopeless....look I am in hurry....let's go to our place and talk"....B2n returned barely concealing her scorn...

"OK....good idea....come sunny....lets go".....SPJ to pig-face.

"sorry...you have to get rid of this jerk animal....he can't come with us"...B2n whispered.

"But he's OK...you may like him"...SPJ said animatedly.

"Spare me...........pl.."

"OK...will meet you tomorrow....can't leave him....night is young still....give me your address"....SPJ implored.

B2n parts with the address...not too happily....stealing a hateful look at the zombie...

SPJ with the hairy arms around her walked off melting into the night......B2n's eyes following her....as if not believing...slowly retraced her steps to parked Honda city...her mind still disturbed.



Part 1

episode 2



B2n puts the ignition on...shifting into 2nd gear, drove to her aprtment....she unlocked the door...her face grim..she entered her house.

Glancing at her hubby who was sleeping in the room,went to the kitchen and prepared 2 cups of tea..Sipping her tea, she took 2nd cup to her husband's room...and placed the cup on bedside table..

Jasminder was still fast asleep and snoring loudly..exasperated she opened the cabinet and took out two small swab of cotton..and plugged his nostrils.....now snoring went soft..

Coming our of the room...she sat on the settee inside her bedroom..and thought about SPJ......SPJ puzzled her....but she could not place the reason for it....

Was it her carefree lifestyle.........or her smoking.....or that zombie...........?????????

Shrugging she took her mind off her and thought about office..she hadn't had a good day there...she didn't like the copy-writer and director....both were so creeps!!.....

To hell with it....

She got up and went to her PC....switched on...and she logged on to rediff....checked her mails...opened yahoo games...and played a game of chess...but she lost the game..as she wasn't very attentive...swearing under her breath, she got up...and took out a bottle of coke from the fridge..finishing the bottle..she shut her PC..and went to her bed room.

as she lay on her bed, tiredness swept over her and she drifted into a uneasy sleep.


SPJ woke up with a start..she had had a bad dream....checked the wallclock....it was 7.30 AM. Today was sunday...lots of things to do.!!

She got up..Having freshed up......she again lay on the bed...sipping the tea, her mother had placed on the table..

She was angry...her exams.....studies....!!!..if only there were no studies and exams!!....she didn't know as the sleep again took her over.











cont'd

PS....Story is totally fictional....any resemblance to anyone or anything whatsoever is purely accidental.....All rights reserved

[GoldFinger]

Part 2

episode 3

B2n woke up with a start too...it was jasminder asking for time...she told him to consult the wallclock...it was 8.30 AM....

After she had had the BF..(breakfast)..she went to her car and headed for CP....At the CP she she had the mobile call from SPJ..as she was thinking...SPJ called her and fixed the meeting at for lunch at BABA Da DHABHA (BDD).....at Pandara road.

As she was herself not interested in shopping today...she went to wimpy..and had a lemonade...

Then spending her time here n there...She reached BDD...SPJ was already there smartly dressed....thankfully...zombie..wasn't there..on asking about zombie..B2n found that he had been drugged and locked into the car dickey.

As they settled at the table...SPJ lit up and launched at her pressing fourth fovorite pastime ..ie ....GF jokes.

"Any idea how do get rid of that idiot GF using my GF jokes"...

"Simple you change the name to ,say, Big Boss or Navin jokes..or B2n jokes" B2n said helpfully.

"No way...Big Boss and Navin or anyone on the forum don't have the stature of GF...I am sure If I rename the thread after them....no one will even throw a passing glance at the MY jokes"

"yep that's correct..you fold up the thread......Na rahega baans na bajegi bansuri"...

"See...I can't....I mothered that thread....I can't abort the thread...SPJ..her voice painful.

"Bullshit...it's just a cyber thread....you are sounding as if you have mothered a kidboy...common ..be ur age"...B2n cajoled her.

"Look....there are smart and valuable jokes already there....even there are some very smart comments from that GF guy"

"But you see GF has already suggested that you fold up the thread"..B2n said her voice bored.

"That's one of the reason I won't fold up....He will think he has won..and further I can't go back there as long as GF is there"

"Why r you so upset with him so much"

"Didn't you see....what did that rascal say about copy and paste jokes, quizzes.....so OK ..I was doing that...but that GF saying so blatantly is too much for me"

"Everyone does that do you think my jokes are originals"...B2n said with a pity and concern in her voice.

"But you see now I am feeling used up and deflated....what to do...that
bugger GF now exactly knows what sort of girl I am"

"To hell with him.....I feel GF has become a havva here in this forum.
He is a hated person"

"But you see he is only hated by only those who are bird-brained and who had a ugly childhood".

B2n is perplexed now...."then why do you pally pally them"

"There's no choice...besides dealing with those nutcases is a piece of cake for me..as they are all thick-headed...and will gobble anything I dish out however crappy.................However dealing with GF is different ball game altogether".....SPJ continued wistfully..

"SPJ....you aren't such a dumbo...I thought ..really...sorry pl don't mind"

"listen....GF position on the forum is unassailable....Firsly he cares two hoots for anything.....talk to him nicely....he will be even more nicer.......be ugly with him.....and you won't see a uglier person..." B2n continued sympathitically........her mind goes momentrily to her own household affairs."ok forget it...why locked that jimbo into your dickey.

"Oh..though loaded..I am now sick him....He is always shadowing me.. as if I will run away with someone"

"Maybe...you will..who knows...you are beautiful...and..."

"So what, Can't a girl be free...do what she wants....hell..I am getting sick of that moron"..SPJ interuped B2n..who was preparing her BABA Gutka.

"Ya, couln't be more right.........but, ya know, we got to tread carefully..incidentally...that Jimbo...do you think he is OK in the Boot", B2n asked.

"Should be...there's portable battery-operated fan..and an air-vent....there".

"So...tell me really do you like jokes...I see you aren't much interested in other things in the forum..........though I agree your jokes are real fun".....B2n said encouragingly.

"Ya....I like them very much....started liking them more..since I got hooked on that zombie"..

"Yuppie....he is a joke himself...what, he's ur neighbour or what?"..B2n laughed..

"No,......He is my principal's offspring........and ya know I might be topping this Mid-Sem"..SPJ was very excited.

"Good for you....look...I will push off....see u"...B2n getting to her feet.

"what's the hurry....B2...we havn't even ordered lunch...sweatheart..",...

"ok...lets order....what will you have".

They quickly finished......lunch was excellent.

"what about Jimbo...anything you wanna get packed for that guy"....

"oh...don't worry....he won't be waking up for four more hours...he is really shot up"

"Suit yourself", suddenly..B2n felt the urge to confide about Jasminder..but checked herself..."that was beautiful..the lunch.."

"Sure like this joint very much"

Lighting a Camel, SPJ shot a speculative glance at B2n..who had finished combing her POOH..with great concentration..."She is really great....and smart too"..she thought..

"Heard..you had exams...must have studied hard..how did they go?"

"oh...actually I had dental exams....have some probs with molars and canines..ya..know", SPJ replied sheepishly.

"oh..and I was ...well..well......ok now?"..

"ya..ok...Doc had problems extracting his teeth"..SPJ shot a coy grin...."there are still two left...I will see the doc on S'day...on monday I will take the Jimbo for a dental-fix-up..you see....and.."

"OK...OK...spare me!!....What about your COLLEGE studies? ", B2n interjected....

"Oh they r just fine...I ain't disturbing them".

[GoldFinger]

Hi SPJ....looks you r really upset....so a joke for YOU.



One day, a girl, 16yrs old, heard from her mother that if she does a regular prayer for 4 yrs, a divine "Angel" would come to her in her dreams & give her 3 boons (Varadaan). So she decided to do it. She completed 4 yrs successfully, doing prayer regularly.

Now it was a day for "Angel" to come. So she slept earlier with thoughts in her mind to ask. And, really an "Angel" comes in her dreams. Now this is the dialogue between them.

Angel: O Girl, you prayed to me regularly within last 4 yrs, so I am very very happy with you. I will complete any of your 3 wishes. You can ask anything you like, but there is one condition.

Girl: Condition!, what is that?

Angel: You have a boy-friend?

Girl: Yes...but a moronic one !!

Angel: When you were doing a prayer, he was waiting for you, so he also sacrificed same as you. Moreover, he didn't know anything about boon and all, so he is also eligible for the boons. So whatever you will ask, he will get 10 times more than that of you. If you are agreed, then proceed for the 1 st boon.

Girl: (After thinking for some time ...): Yes, I am ready.

Girl: 1st, make me 10 times richer than the richest person in the world.

Angel: But your boy-friend will be 10 times richer than you.

Girl: It's OK.

Angel: Be as you wish!

Girl: 2nd, Make me 10 times more beautiful than the most beautiful girl in the world.

Angel: But your boy-friend will be 10 times handsome than the most handsome boy in the world.

Girl: It's OK.

Angel: Be as you wish.

Angel: Now the last boon remains.

Girl: O Angel, please give me a MILD HEART-ATTACK.

Angel: What? Are you sure!

Girl: Yes. Very sure!

Angel: Be as you wish.

Think friends, what happened to her boy-friend, he got a severe heart-attack & died at once, while the girl remained alive. Thus, the girl became the world's most beautiful girl and the richest one, too.

Moral of the story: So intelligent the girls are! Girls are really more intelligent than we believe about them to be. So be careful boys!


PS.......>>>...>>NOT FOR SPJ

Dear boys, dont worry, actually what happened is something different than what you all think! Actually,the girl's boy-friend got a heart-attack, 10 TIMES MILDER than that of the girl. So the boy-friend lived longer than the girl, being world's richest and the most handsome boy.

Moral of the story: Dear boys, the girls are not really that much intelligent than what we believe them to be. So dont worry if you think that you have girl-friend, intelligent than you.

[GoldFinger]

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c168/Tiger0901/donotkick.jpg

:D

[GoldFinger]

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c168/Tiger0901/image001.jpg
http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c168/Tiger0901/omo.gif

:D

[GoldFinger]

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c168/Tiger0901/img3c8c176057e52.gif

[GoldFinger]

If u think you got no sense of humour....click the link


http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c168/Tiger0901/img3c9982d302721.gif

:D

[GoldFinger]

somebody emailed me these pics of painted hands.


http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c168/Tiger0901/image002.jpg
http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c168/Tiger0901/image003.jpg
http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c168/Tiger0901/image004.jpg
http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c168/Tiger0901/image005.jpg

Pass them on....

[GoldFinger]

Cont'd




http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c168/Tiger0901/image006.jpg
http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c168/Tiger0901/image007.jpg
http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c168/Tiger0901/image008.jpg

[GoldFinger]

hI bALJEET2N,

wISHING yOU A vERY vERY hAPPY gRAND b'DAY tO yOU.
mAY tHIS dAY aND eVERYDAY bRING yOU lOTS oF cHEER, hAPPINESS, fUN, sUCCESS AND pROSPERITY AND eVERYTHING yOU cHERISH.

aGAIN

a
vERY
hAPPY
bIRTHDAY
tO
a
eSSENTIALLY
bEAUTIFUL
gIRL


PS....what bout some cake...baby:D

[mani]

never visited this side of the forum cause there r too many jokes going round neway in newspapers sms and what with tgilc ,but some jokes here r good n new 2 me
Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN GF THROWS A PIN AT YOU?
A: Run like Hell....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth

Q: How do you confuse GF?
A: You don't. He is born that way.

Gold finger & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.

Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children?

GFreplied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR

Why did 18 GoldFingers(including tiger, bugs, rajesh tomar, raajesh tomar....) go to a movie?

Because below 18 was not allowed

[mani]

extreemly good work kareena

Qs: Why does GF have "TGIF" written on his shoes?
As: Toes Go In First.

Qs: How can you tell when GF sends you a fax?
As: It has a stamp on it.

Qs: How do you get GF on the roof?
As: Tell him the drinks are on the house.

Qs: Why does it take longer to build a GF snowman as opposed to a regular one?
As: You have to hollow out the head.

Qs: How do you measure GF's intelligence?
As: Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear!

[GoldFinger]

"you don't need reasons to help people!!!".:D

[GoldFinger]

:D :D

"you don't need reasons to help people!!!".:D

:D

[GoldFinger]

:D :D
A young couple who had just met at a party, decide to leave together. They walk hand in hand and, as they stroll, the young man's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when the young woman says, I hope you don't mind, but I really do need to have a piss. Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity, he suggests she go behind a hedge. She nods in agreement and disappears behind the hedge. As he waits, he can hear the sound of tight panties sliding down voluptuous legs and he imagines what loveliness is being exposed. Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches through a gap in the foliage, and touches her smooth, bare leg. He gently brings his hand further up to her thigh until suddenly, and with great astonishment, he finds himself gripping a long, warm, thick appendage hanging between her legs. He gasps in horror, My God Mary have you changed your sex!? No, she replies, I've changed my mind; I'm having a shit instead.

[GoldFinger]

:D
Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they needed to visit a whore house.

When they arrived at the whorehouse, the Madame took one look at them and decided she wasn't going to waste any of her girls on these two old men. So she used "blowup" dolls instead. She put the dolls in each man's room and left them to their business.

After the two men were finished, they started for home and got to talking.

The first man said, "I think the girl I had was dead. She never moved, talked or groaned...how was it for you?"

The second man replied, "I think mine was a witch."

The first man asked, "How's that?

:D

"Well," said the second man, "when I nibbled on her breast ... she farted and
flew out the window!"

[GoldFinger]

Pleased to announce that His Majesty Sir Goldfinger is back with a bang !!!!

where is that pea-brained,moronic,idiotic half-assed-creature called navin..hope he has scrammed from this place !! :D :D

[aaakjj]

.



http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c168/Tiger0901/image003.jpg



....


This one is superb ......

==================

[GoldFinger]

i see that people are becoming shy here.

[GoldFinger]

Come on guys,show that gf is stil popular.

[GoldFinger]

http://img1.imagilive.com/1208/93562980-1228678385.jpg

[GoldFinger]

I am waiting for new talents waiting to be discovered any movement by gr8 gf.

[james2007]

very niceeeeeeeeeee

[GoldFinger]

Hey there james,

Did you liked my golden creations?

[diipendu]

Pleased to announce that His Majesty Sir Goldfinger is back with a bang !!!!

where is that pea-brained,moronic,idiotic half-assed-creature called navin..hope he has scrammed from this place !! :D :D


Hey there!


Sire it's pleasant to see you back in this forum... We all were missing your posts and your *golden*thoughts...:D Hahaha ---- Let's cheers and welcome our goldfinger! http://forum.indya.com/images/icons/icon14.gif