Fun 'n' Masti!!!!

[juhirocks!!]

Dil koi aaina nahin jo tootne par awaaz karta hai
Yeh to hai us phool jaisa jo murjhane par uff tak nahin karta

Phool ko dar hai murjha Jaane ka,
Pathar ko dar hai thukra Jaane ka,
Mein aankhen isliye nahin kholta,
Mujhe dar hai sapnon ke toot Jaane ka.

Teri Aankhon mein koi karishma zaroor hai
Tu jise dekh le woh tarapta zaroor hai

Chand se haseen hai chandni
Chandni se haseen hai Raat
Raat se haseen hai Chand
Aur chand se haseen hai Aap

uskiYaad mein har pal Itna jala jata hoon
Log khud ko jalate hain
Mein Dil ko jalata hoon

Tumne dil ko kya chuwa, Dhadkan Machal Gayi
Humne Tumko ko kya chuwa, Humari Ruh Machal Gayi

gr8 work guru

[guru_sal]

gr8 work guru
thankz a lot juhi

[guru_sal]

Log ishq karte hain,
Bare shor ke saath.
Humne bhi kiya,
Bare zor ke saath.
Magar ab karenge,
Thora gaur ke saath.
Kyonki kal usko dekha,
Kisi aur ke saath.


Kehte hain ki ISHQ main neend ur jaati hai
Koi humse bhi ishq kare
Khambhaqat neend bahut aati hai


Kaash dil ki awaz ka itna asar ho jaaye
Hum unhe yaad karen
Aur unhe khabar ho jaaye


Aansu ko ankhon ki Dehliz pe laya na karo.
Apne dil ki halat Kisiko bataya na karo.
Log mutthi bhar namak liye Ghoom rahe hain
Apne zakhm kisiko Dikhaya na karo.



Mohabbat ki shamma jalake to dekho,
Zara dil ki duniya saja kar to dekho,
Tumhe ho na jaaye mohabbat to kehna,
Zara humse nazaren milake to dekho

[tukz]

damn good wrk guru

[tukz]

by sd wy guru how r u????r u alrite now?

[juhirocks!!]

Church minister: do u say prayers b4 u sit down 2 eat ur meals?

Little boy: ther’s no need 4 that, my mom’s a gr8 cook


Pehla chor - main job hi ghar main chori karta hu, who lakhpati ban jaata hai
Dusra chor- who kaise?
Pehla chor-kyuki main crodpati kay ghar main chori karta hu!!


Patient- doctor, I hav got wind! Can u give mw something??

Doctor- yeah, here’s a kite!


Gappu- ha! ha!
Nippi- what’s so funny?
Gappu- I was thinking,…………
Nippi- yes, u r rite- that’s funny!


Patient- doctor, how do I stop my nose from running?

Doctor- stick your foot out and trip it up!


Teacher- why r the early days of history called the dark ages?

Student- ma’m, because there were so many knights!!


Teacher- who’s ur favourite writer?
Student- my neighbour. He writes my homework very well

[guru_sal]

damn good wrk guru
thankx a lot tukz

[guru_sal]

by sd wy guru how r u????r u alrite now?
ya im fine

[guru_sal]

Church minister: do u say prayers b4 u sit down 2 eat ur meals?

Little boy: ther’s no need 4 that, my mom’s a gr8 cook


Pehla chor - main job hi ghar main chori karta hu, who lakhpati ban jaata hai
Dusra chor- who kaise?
Pehla chor-kyuki main crodpati kay ghar main chori karta hu!!


Patient- doctor, I hav got wind! Can u give mw something??

Doctor- yeah, here’s a kite!


Gappu- ha! ha!
Nippi- what’s so funny?
Gappu- I was thinking,…………
Nippi- yes, u r rite- that’s funny!


Patient- doctor, how do I stop my nose from running?

Doctor- stick your foot out and trip it up!


Teacher- why r the early days of history called the dark ages?

Student- ma’m, because there were so many knights!!


Teacher- who’s ur favourite writer?
Student- my neighbour. He writes my homework very well
gud one juhi

[tukz]

ya im fine
thnk goodness...i was worried abt it...n juhi kul 1....

[juhirocks!!]

gud one juhi
thanx guru

[juhirocks!!]

thnk goodness...i was worried abt it...n juhi kul 1....
thanx bits!

[divyaashimix]

hey JUHI and GURU..rocking work folks !!!:D

[tukz]

thanx bits!
my pleasure:)

[nimi]

hey people check this out
ye padh kar hasnaa mat.......


Have a nice day! ----- * Achcha din lo!

What's up? ----- *Uppar kya hai?

You're kidding! ----- *Tum bachche bana rahe ho!

Don't kid me! ----- * Mujhe bachcha mat banaao!

Yo, baby! What's up? -----* Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?

Cool man! -----* Thandaa aadmi!

Check this out, man! ----* Iskee chaanbeen karo, aadmi!

Don't mess with me, dude.----- * Mere saath gandagi mat karo, e vyakti.

She's so fine! ----- * Woh itnee baareek hai!

Listen buddy, that chick's mine, okay!?----- * Suno dost, woh chooza
mera hai, theek hai?

Hey good looking; what's cooking? ----* Arrey sundarta ki devi; kya
pakaa rahee ho?

Are you nuts? ----- * Kya aap akhrot hain?

Son of a gun.----- * Bachcha bandook ka.

Rock the party. ---- * Party mein patthar feko.

And the best one is.....

Lets hang out!....*Chalo bahar latakte hain

[divyaashimix]

hey people check this out
ye padh kar hasnaa mat.......


Have a nice day! ----- * Achcha din lo!

What's up? ----- *Uppar kya hai?

You're kidding! ----- *Tum bachche bana rahe ho!

Don't kid me! ----- * Mujhe bachcha mat banaao!

Yo, baby! What's up? -----* Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?

Cool man! -----* Thandaa aadmi!

Check this out, man! ----* Iskee chaanbeen karo, aadmi!

Don't mess with me, dude.----- * Mere saath gandagi mat karo, e vyakti.

She's so fine! ----- * Woh itnee baareek hai!

Listen buddy, that chick's mine, okay!?----- * Suno dost, woh chooza
mera hai, theek hai?

Hey good looking; what's cooking? ----* Arrey sundarta ki devi; kya
pakaa rahee ho?

Are you nuts? ----- * Kya aap akhrot hain?

Son of a gun.----- * Bachcha bandook ka.

Rock the party. ---- * Party mein patthar feko.

And the best one is.....

Lets hang out!....*Chalo bahar latakte hain
he he heeeeeeee.......................dam kool re nimi !!!:D

[guru_sal]

hey people check this out
ye padh kar hasnaa mat.......


Have a nice day! ----- * Achcha din lo!

What's up? ----- *Uppar kya hai?

You're kidding! ----- *Tum bachche bana rahe ho!

Don't kid me! ----- * Mujhe bachcha mat banaao!

Yo, baby! What's up? -----* Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?

Cool man! -----* Thandaa aadmi!

Check this out, man! ----* Iskee chaanbeen karo, aadmi!

Don't mess with me, dude.----- * Mere saath gandagi mat karo, e vyakti.

She's so fine! ----- * Woh itnee baareek hai!

Listen buddy, that chick's mine, okay!?----- * Suno dost, woh chooza
mera hai, theek hai?

Hey good looking; what's cooking? ----* Arrey sundarta ki devi; kya
pakaa rahee ho?

Are you nuts? ----- * Kya aap akhrot hain?

Son of a gun.----- * Bachcha bandook ka.

Rock the party. ---- * Party mein patthar feko.

And the best one is.....

Lets hang out!....*Chalo bahar latakte hain
GUD WORK NIMI

[juhirocks!!]

hey nimi, really funny yaar!

[nimi]

thank u divy , juhi and guru sal

[guru_sal]

love proposal


Just know that the love I have for you
Is not to be put in a stack or queue

Like a variable in an infinite loop
Be in my heart always and never stop

My heart is like a port, unread,
and the love I have has only one thread
You are in my heart's RAM and not in the cache
So if you won't respond, my heart will crash.

Like an application that is stand alone,
I'm a programmer who earns a lot on my own
And my request is clear, without any encryption
And hope it is not void, that you return.

If Java can be linked with C
Or if e-mails can be sent for free
Why on earth can't you and me
For the rest of our life time together be"

and yr most welcum nimi

[divyaashimix]

love proposal


Just know that the love I have for you
Is not to be put in a stack or queue

Like a variable in an infinite loop
Be in my heart always and never stop

My heart is like a port, unread,
and the love I have has only one thread
You are in my heart's RAM and not in the cache
So if you won't respond, my heart will crash.

Like an application that is stand alone,
I'm a programmer who earns a lot on my own
And my request is clear, without any encryption
And hope it is not void, that you return.

If Java can be linked with C
Or if e-mails can be sent for free
Why on earth can't you and me
For the rest of our life time together be"

and yr most welcum nimi
kool 1 guru...:D most welcum NIMI

[guru_sal]

kool 1 guru...:D most welcum NIMI
thankxxxx a lot divya

[shubha63]

Story of a DEAD young girl
This is the TRUE Story of a DEAD young girl who was working in BPO in Chennai...
This is a story of a young college girl who passed away last month in Chennai.
Her name was Priya. She was hit by a lorry. She was working in a call centre. She has a boy friend named Shankar. Both of them are true lovers.
They always hang on the phone. You can never see her without her headphone.
In fact she also changed her phone from Airtel to Hutch, so both of them can be on the same network, and save on the cost.
She spends half of the day talking with Shankar. Priya's family knows about their relationship. Shankar is very close with Priya's family. (Just imagine their love). Before she passed away she always told her friends "If I pass away please bury me with my cell phone" she also said the same thing to her parents.
After her death, people can't carry her body, I was there. A lot of them tried to do so but still can't , everybody including me, had tried to carry the body, the result is still the same. Eventually, they called a person who know to one of their neighbors, who can speak with the soul of dead person, who is a friend of her father. He took a stick and started speaking to herself slowly. After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses something here". then her friends told that person about her intentions to bury her with her phone. He then opened the grave box and placed her phone and SIM card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It could be moved and they carried it into the van easily. All of us were shocked.
Priya's parents did not inform Shankar that Priya had passed away. After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom.
Shankar :...."Auntee, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me. Don¡¯t tell Priya that I'm coming home, today, i wanna surprise her." Her mother replied..... "You come home first, I wanna tell you something very important." after he came, they told him the truth about Priya.
Shankar thinks that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said "don¡¯t try to fool me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for her Please stop this nonsense". then they show him the original death certificate to him.
They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to weep)
He said... "Its not true. we spoke yesterday. She still calls me. Shankar was shaking. Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang. "see this is from Priya, see this..." he shown the phone to priya's family. all of them told him to give a answer.he talked using the loudspeaker mode, all of them heard her voice.
Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming. It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way others could use her SIM card since it is nailed inside the grave box. They were so shocked and asked for the same person's (who can speak with the soul of deal perosns) help again.
He brought his master to solve this matter. He & his master worked for 5 hours. Then they discovered one thing which really shocked them... that is

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"Hutch has the best coverage" ,
Wherever you go, our network follows!!!

[evilseye]

Ha ha ha!!!Shubha!!!Lolz!!!Gud one yaar!!!!
Luv
Sur

[nimi]

hahahha relly funny shubha

[shubha63]

thanks everyone

[divyaashimix]

duh-uh shubhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa................:D :D :D :D
it was dam kool...

[shubha63]

10x divya

_____________

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.



WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied , "in-laws"



WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."








UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.




W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"




CREATION
A man said t o his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!





WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament
and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says........ .."HEBREWS"

God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

[guru_sal]

10x divya

_____________

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.



WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied , "in-laws"



WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."








UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.




W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"




CREATION
A man said t o his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!





WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament
and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says........ .."HEBREWS"

God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
good work shubha

[guru_sal]

Bade ajeeb hai ye jindagi ke risthe
Anjane mod par kuch log dost banjate hai,
Milne ke khushi de ya na de,
Bichadne ka Gum zarur de jate hai,

Duniya wahi duniya wale wahi,
Ek tara na jane kahaan chup gaya,
Raste wahi or musafir wahi,
Koi kya jane kiska jahaan lut gaya,

Wishwas banke log zindagi me aate hai,
Khwab banke aankhon me sama jate hai,
Pehle to ye yakin dilate hai ki wo hamare hai,
Fir na jane kyun tanha chod jate hai,

Na jane konsi rat akhari hogi ?
Na jane konsi mulakat akhari hogi ?
Abhi waqt hai, krlo humse ji bharke bate,
Kya pata konsi SANS aakri hogi…?

[shubha63]

thanx guru n good work
________________________
Bang ur head on the wall if u don't know the answer.



Recently a company had participated in IIM's Placement Sessions.



They asked some interesting questions to students during recruitment.





Here are some of them:-





************ ********* **



1. There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced incorrectly. What is it?





********





2. A man gave one son 10 cents and another son was given 15 cents. What time is it?





********



3. A boat has a ladder that has six rungs, each rung is one foot apart. The bottom rung is one foot from the water.





The tide rises at 12 inches every 15minutes. High tide peaks in one hour. When the tide is at it's highest, how many rungs are under water?





********



4. There is a house with four walls. Each wall faces south. There is a window in each wall. A bear walks by one of the windows. What color is the bear?





********



5. Is half of two plus two equal to two or three?





********



6. There is a room. The shutters are blowing in. There is broken glass on the floor. There is water on the floor. You find Sloppy dead on the floor. Who is Sloppy? How did Sloppy die?





********



7. How much dirt would be in a hole 6 feet deep and 6 feet wide that has been dug with a square edged shovel?





********



8. If I were in Hawaii and dropped a bowling ball in a bucket of water which is 45 degrees F, and dropped another ball of the same weight, mass, and size in a bucket at 30 degrees F, both of them at the same time, which ball would hit the bottom of the bucket first?



Same question, but the location is in Canada ?





********



9. What is the significance of the following: The year is 1978, thirty-four minutes past noon on May 6th.





********



10. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in the center field?





********



11. What is it that goes up and goes down but does not move?





********



Scroll down for answers..... .......





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********



1. The word "incorrectly. "





********



2. 1:45. The man gave away a total of 25 cents. He divided it between two people. Therefore, he gave a quarter to two.





********



3. None, the boat rises with the tide. Googly ;-)





********



4. White. If all the walls face south, the house is at the North pole, and the bear, therefore, is a polar bear.





********



5. Three. Well, it seems that it could almost be either, but if you follow the mathematical orders of operation, division is performed before addition.



So... Half of two is one. Then add two, and the answer is three.





********



6. Sloppy is a (gold)fish. The wind blew the shutters in, which knocked his goldfish-bowl off the table, and it broke, killing him.





********



7. None. No matter how big a hole is, it's still a hole: the absence of dirt.





********



8. Both questions, same answer: the ball in the bucket of 45 degree F water hits the bottom of the bucket last. Did you think that the water in the 30 degree F bucket is frozen? Think again.





The question said nothing about that bucket having anything in it. Therefore, there is no water (or ice) to slow the ball down...





********



9. The time and month/date/year American style calendar are 12:34, 5/6/78.





********



10. One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack.





********



11. The temperature.

[guru_sal]

thanx guru n good work
________________________
Bang ur head on the wall if u don't know the answer.



Recently a company had participated in IIM's Placement Sessions.



They asked some interesting questions to students during recruitment.





Here are some of them:-





************ ********* **



1. There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced incorrectly. What is it?





********





2. A man gave one son 10 cents and another son was given 15 cents. What time is it?





********



3. A boat has a ladder that has six rungs, each rung is one foot apart. The bottom rung is one foot from the water.





The tide rises at 12 inches every 15minutes. High tide peaks in one hour. When the tide is at it's highest, how many rungs are under water?





********



4. There is a house with four walls. Each wall faces south. There is a window in each wall. A bear walks by one of the windows. What color is the bear?





********



5. Is half of two plus two equal to two or three?





********



6. There is a room. The shutters are blowing in. There is broken glass on the floor. There is water on the floor. You find Sloppy dead on the floor. Who is Sloppy? How did Sloppy die?





********



7. How much dirt would be in a hole 6 feet deep and 6 feet wide that has been dug with a square edged shovel?





********



8. If I were in Hawaii and dropped a bowling ball in a bucket of water which is 45 degrees F, and dropped another ball of the same weight, mass, and size in a bucket at 30 degrees F, both of them at the same time, which ball would hit the bottom of the bucket first?



Same question, but the location is in Canada ?





********



9. What is the significance of the following: The year is 1978, thirty-four minutes past noon on May 6th.





********



10. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in the center field?





********



11. What is it that goes up and goes down but does not move?





********



Scroll down for answers..... .......





*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*



********



1. The word "incorrectly. "





********



2. 1:45. The man gave away a total of 25 cents. He divided it between two people. Therefore, he gave a quarter to two.





********



3. None, the boat rises with the tide. Googly ;-)





********



4. White. If all the walls face south, the house is at the North pole, and the bear, therefore, is a polar bear.





********



5. Three. Well, it seems that it could almost be either, but if you follow the mathematical orders of operation, division is performed before addition.



So... Half of two is one. Then add two, and the answer is three.





********



6. Sloppy is a (gold)fish. The wind blew the shutters in, which knocked his goldfish-bowl off the table, and it broke, killing him.





********



7. None. No matter how big a hole is, it's still a hole: the absence of dirt.





********



8. Both questions, same answer: the ball in the bucket of 45 degree F water hits the bottom of the bucket last. Did you think that the water in the 30 degree F bucket is frozen? Think again.





The question said nothing about that bucket having anything in it. Therefore, there is no water (or ice) to slow the ball down...





********



9. The time and month/date/year American style calendar are 12:34, 5/6/78.





********



10. One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack.





********



11. The temperature.
good one shubha
and thankx

[shubha63]

thanx guru n u r welcome

________________

A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."


"Is the man of the house home?", they asked.


"No", she replied. "He's out."




"Then we cannot come in", they replied.


In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.


"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"


The woman went out and invited the men in"


" We do not go into a House together," they replied.


"Why is that?" she asked.


One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."


The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How n ice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"


His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?"


Their daughter was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"


"Let us heed our daughter's advice," said the husband to his wife.


"Go out and invite Love to be our guest ."


The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."


Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, t he lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"


The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success !!!!!!"

[shubha63]

MAN: I'd like to buy some dog food.

CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a dog?

MAN: Yes.

CHECKOUT LADY: Where is he?

MAN: He's at home.

CHECKOUT LADY: I'm sorry, I can't sell this dog food to you unless I see the dog. Store policy.







The next day, the man returns.

MAN: I'd like to buy some cat food.

CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a cat?

MAN: Yes.

CHECKOUT LADY: Well...where is she?

MAN: She's at home!

CHECKOUT LADY: Sorry, I can't sell this cat food to you unless I see your cat.



The next day the man returns.

CHECKOUT LADY: What's in the sack?

MAN: Put your hand inside.

CHECKOUT LADY: Hmmm...It's warm and moist! What is it?

MAN: I would like to buy some toilet paper .

[divyaashimix]

hey bhaggu SUBHA...have u taken up the contract to make is laugh like a crazy nerd...fabulous work babes...:D :D

[shubha63]

thanks divya

__________________

Test your Brain

So, take the following test presented here and determine if you are losing it or are still "with it ." The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you have made your answer.



OK, relax, clear your mind and ... Begin. WELL, MAYBE NOT THAT CLEAR!



1. What do you put in a toaster?

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Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.



*******


2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell " silk." What do cows drink?


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Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat.

It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate such as Children's World. If you said "water"


Then proceed to question 3.



*******



3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?


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Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," what the devil are you still doing here reading these questions??? ?? If you said "glass,"

Then! Go on to Question 4.



*********


4. Its twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany(If you will recall, Germanyat the time was politically divided into West Germanyand East Germany.)


Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germanyand West Germany.

Where would you bury the survivors? East Germanyor West Germanyor in "no man's land"?


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Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else,

You are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, "Don't bury the survivors",

Then proceed to the next question.


*********


5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from Londonto MilfordHaven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on.

In Sweden, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on.

In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on In Carmarthen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at MilfordHaven. What was the name of the bus driver?


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Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!

[evilseye]

Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Haw haw haw...he he he....lolz!!!!!
Toooo gud shubha!!!!!Keep up the funny work!!!:D
Luv
sur

[style_ashitia]

thanx guru n good work
________________________
Bang ur head on the wall if u don't know the answer.



Recently a company had participated in IIM's Placement Sessions.



They asked some interesting questions to students during recruitment.





Here are some of them:-





************ ********* **



1. There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced incorrectly. What is it?





********





2. A man gave one son 10 cents and another son was given 15 cents. What time is it?





********



3. A boat has a ladder that has six rungs, each rung is one foot apart. The bottom rung is one foot from the water.





The tide rises at 12 inches every 15minutes. High tide peaks in one hour. When the tide is at it's highest, how many rungs are under water?





********



4. There is a house with four walls. Each wall faces south. There is a window in each wall. A bear walks by one of the windows. What color is the bear?





********



5. Is half of two plus two equal to two or three?





********



6. There is a room. The shutters are blowing in. There is broken glass on the floor. There is water on the floor. You find Sloppy dead on the floor. Who is Sloppy? How did Sloppy die?





********



7. How much dirt would be in a hole 6 feet deep and 6 feet wide that has been dug with a square edged shovel?





********



8. If I were in Hawaii and dropped a bowling ball in a bucket of water which is 45 degrees F, and dropped another ball of the same weight, mass, and size in a bucket at 30 degrees F, both of them at the same time, which ball would hit the bottom of the bucket first?



Same question, but the location is in Canada ?





********



9. What is the significance of the following: The year is 1978, thirty-four minutes past noon on May 6th.





********



10. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in the center field?





********



11. What is it that goes up and goes down but does not move?





********



Scroll down for answers..... .......





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*



********



1. The word "incorrectly. "





********



2. 1:45. The man gave away a total of 25 cents. He divided it between two people. Therefore, he gave a quarter to two.





********



3. None, the boat rises with the tide. Googly ;-)





********



4. White. If all the walls face south, the house is at the North pole, and the bear, therefore, is a polar bear.





********



5. Three. Well, it seems that it could almost be either, but if you follow the mathematical orders of operation, division is performed before addition.



So... Half of two is one. Then add two, and the answer is three.





********



6. Sloppy is a (gold)fish. The wind blew the shutters in, which knocked his goldfish-bowl off the table, and it broke, killing him.





********



7. None. No matter how big a hole is, it's still a hole: the absence of dirt.





********



8. Both questions, same answer: the ball in the bucket of 45 degree F water hits the bottom of the bucket last. Did you think that the water in the 30 degree F bucket is frozen? Think again.





The question said nothing about that bucket having anything in it. Therefore, there is no water (or ice) to slow the ball down...





********



9. The time and month/date/year American style calendar are 12:34, 5/6/78.





********



10. One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack.





********



11. The temperature.
hey gr8!!!!!!!!
this one's too gud~!~~~

[guru_sal]

too good shubha

[shubha63]

thanks everyone.

___________________

DIFFICULT QUESTIONS AND INTELLIGENT ANSWERS!



To:
Question and the Answer given by Candidates, oh sorry they are IAS
(Indian Administrative Services - THE most difficult examination in
India. Candidates are graduate Officers now.



Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)

Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it
take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 rd Rank Opted for IFS)

Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four
apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with
one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)

Q. What looks like half apple?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )

Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A : Dinner.

Q. What happened when wheel was invented?
A : It caused a revolution.

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid (UPSC 33 R ank )

Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one
really difficult question.

Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for a
while and said,
"my choice is one really difficult question."

"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.
"What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted in! to reality as his admission depends on the
correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's the
DAY sir!"

"How" the interviewer asked,

"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND
difficult question!"

He was selected for IIM!

[style_ashitia]

hey cool oens re........luvd 'em!

[shubha63]

hey cool oens re........luvd 'em!
thanks

________________

Ain't It The Truth


> >> 1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
> >>
> >> 2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his
> >> tail.
> >>
> >> 3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any
> >> sense at all.
> >>
> >> 4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
> >>
> >> 5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
> >>
> >> 6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the
> >> dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
> >>
> >> 7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how
> >> many people a company can operate without.
> >>
> >> 8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else
> >> looks?
> >>
> >> 9. Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
> >>
> >> 10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a
> >> car.
> >>
> >> 11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
> >>
> >> 12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at
> >> 4 AM. It could be a right number.
> >>
> >> 13. Think about this .. No one ever says "It's only a game" when his
> >> team is winning.
> >>
> >> 14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
> >>
> >> 15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to
> >> like it.
> >>
> >> 16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same
> >> size bucket.
> >>
> >> 17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of
> >> OLD LADIES running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the
> >> Golden Oldies!) YUCK!!!!!!!! !!!
> >>
> >> 18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to
> >> cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.
> >>
> >> 19. After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint,
> >> you are probably dead

[divyaashimix]

hey bhaggu SUBHA...rocking work dear !!!!:D

[shubha63]

One day Kuttappan's dad bought a robot.


The robot was special in that it could detect a lie and would slap the person who lied on the face.

Kuttappan returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, " Son why are you late from school?".

Kuttappan answered, "Dad we had extra classes today".

Much to his astonishment the Robot jumped up and slapped Kuttappan on his face.

His dad told him "Mone (son) This robot is special in that he can detect a lie and will then slap the person who lied now come on tell me the truth, why are you late?"

"Dad I went for a movie", " Which movie?" "The Ten Commandments" , S-p-la-tt Kuttappan got a tight slap on the face from the robot.

" sorry dad..i lied again, honestly I went for an adult movie ."
Dad: "Shame on you son when I was your age I never used to do such shameful things."

Splatt, the dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot.

Hearing all this, Kuttappan's mother comes walking out of the kitchen saying, "Athu pinne enginnenaa, ningalude monealle?" ( After all he is your son, he will be like you), to which the robot steps up and gives a resounding slap on Kuttappan's mother's face.
.

[style_ashitia]

One day Kuttappan's dad bought a robot.


The robot was special in that it could detect a lie and would slap the person who lied on the face.

Kuttappan returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, " Son why are you late from school?".

Kuttappan answered, "Dad we had extra classes today".

Much to his astonishment the Robot jumped up and slapped Kuttappan on his face.

His dad told him "Mone (son) This robot is special in that he can detect a lie and will then slap the person who lied now come on tell me the truth, why are you late?"

"Dad I went for a movie", " Which movie?" "The Ten Commandments" , S-p-la-tt Kuttappan got a tight slap on the face from the robot.

" sorry dad..i lied again, honestly I went for an adult movie ."
Dad: "Shame on you son when I was your age I never used to do such shameful things."

Splatt, the dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot.

Hearing all this, Kuttappan's mother comes walking out of the kitchen saying, "Athu pinne enginnenaa, ningalude monealle?" ( After all he is your son, he will be like you), to which the robot steps up and gives a resounding slap on Kuttappan's mother's face.
.

hehe..........lolzzzzz........this one's cooool!!!!!!!!!!
gr8 work shubha!!!!:D

[divyaashimix]

hey Shubha...rocking ones dear...:D

[nimi]

hey subha relly gud yarrr

[guru_sal]

god work shubha




Jahan ki gurbat mein sukun
nahi ayega......







gam-e-tohin se kubul nahi aayega





maklul ki fitrat hai e kafir



dimaag ka dahi jayega
par ye sher samajh nahi aayega

[style_ashitia]

thanks

________________

Ain't It The Truth


> >> 1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
> >>
> >> 2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his
> >> tail.
> >>
> >> 3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any
> >> sense at all.
> >>
> >> 4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
> >>
> >> 5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
> >>
> >> 6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the
> >> dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
> >>
> >> 7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how
> >> many people a company can operate without.
> >>
> >> 8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else
> >> looks?
> >>
> >> 9. Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
> >>
> >> 10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a
> >> car.
> >>
> >> 11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
> >>
> >> 12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at
> >> 4 AM. It could be a right number.
> >>
> >> 13. Think about this .. No one ever says "It's only a game" when his
> >> team is winning.
> >>
> >> 14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
> >>
> >> 15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to
> >> like it.
> >>
> >> 16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same
> >> size bucket.
> >>
> >> 17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of
> >> OLD LADIES running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the
> >> Golden Oldies!) YUCK!!!!!!!! !!!
> >>
> >> 18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to
> >> cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.
> >>
> >> 19. After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint,
> >> you are probably dead
netim shubha dear........hey again gr8 one...

[juhirocks!!]

gud work shubha!!

[juhirocks!!]

god work shubha




Jahan ki gurbat mein sukun
nahi ayega......







gam-e-tohin se kubul nahi aayega





maklul ki fitrat hai e kafir



dimaag ka dahi jayega
par ye sher samajh nahi aayega

hey bhaggu!
sach main pehle i thought kii tera aaj dimag khisak gaya hoga..
then i read the last line:D

[shubha63]

thanks everyone

__________________

Job Application
[Cat.: Work place ] [a] [ Calif.: 8.11]

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a
McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida... and they hired him
because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But
seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I
wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we
can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a
more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM
LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would
be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be
a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas
with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm
the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing
that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

[guru_sal]

thanks everyone

__________________

Job Application
[Cat.: Work place ] [a] [ Calif.: 8.11]

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a
McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida... and they hired him
because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But
seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I
wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we
can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a
more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM
LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would
be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be
a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas
with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm
the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing
that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.
good work shubha

[guru_sal]

hey bhaggu!
sach main pehle i thought kii tera aaj dimag khisak gaya hoga..
then i read the last line:D
thankx a lot
waise kisko bhi nahi samjhega ye

[shubha63]

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he
thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach
her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor
told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to
give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from
her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears
you.
If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and s o on until you get a
response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was
in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see
what happens."
Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response.

So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his
wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his

wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response so,

He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's
for dinner?"

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN!"

Moral of the story:
The problem may not be with the other one as we always think,
could be very much within us..!

[nimi]

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he
thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach
her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor
told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to
give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from
her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears
you.
If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and s o on until you get a
response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was
in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see
what happens."
Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response.

So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his
wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his

wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response so,

He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's
for dinner?"

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN!"

Moral of the story:
The problem may not be with the other one as we always think,
could be very much within us..!




OHHH SUBHA RELLLY KOLL ONEEEEEEEEEEEE

[guru_sal]

kool shubha .......

[evilseye]

Gud wrk shubha!!!
Luv
Sur

[shubha63]

thanx every1

_______________________
why u should never visit 5 star hotels
Question : " What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"

Answer: " tea please "

Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"

Answer : "Ceylon tea "

Question : "How would you like it ? Black or white ?"





Answer: "white"

Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ? "

Answer: "With milk "

Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"

Answer: "With cow milk please.

Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"

Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "

Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey? "

Answer: "With sugar"

Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"

Answer: "Cane sugar "

Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"

Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."

Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "

Answer: "Mineral water"

Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"

Answer: "I'll rather die of thirst

[shubha63]

Hi everyone,


After 3 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings,

He told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him,laughed and asked him to sit down saying; My friend, you have not worked here for even one day.

The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.

Manager:- How many days are there in a year?

Man:- 365 days and some times 366

Manager:- how many hours make up a day?

Man:- 24 hours

Manager:- How long do you work in a day?

Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.

Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?

Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)

Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?

Man:- 122 (1/3×366 = 122 in days)

Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?

Man:- No sir

Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?

Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days

Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?

Man:- 18 days.

Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?

Man:- 4 days

Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?

Man:- No sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?

Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?

Man:- 2 days sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?

Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?

Man:- 1 day sir!

Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?

Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?

Man:- None sir!

Manager:- So, what are you claiming?

Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realize that I was stealing Company money all these days.

Moral: NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!

[smruti]

hey really funny...i loved the problem may lie with us thing:)

[shubha63]

thanx smruti

[shubha63]

What ur name means....... .. check it out !!

Instructions : What you do is find out what each letter of your name means.

Then connect all the meanings and it describes YOU. (Its TRUE) &(Is'nt it GREAT !!)

If you have double or triple letters, just count the meaning once.
For Example : MARK

M - Success comes easily to you.
A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
R - You are a social butterfly.
K - You like to try new things.


A = You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
B = You are always cautious when it comes to meeting newpeople.
C = You definitely have a partier side in you, don't be shy to show it.
D = You have trouble trusting people.
E =You are a very exciting person.
F = Everyone loves you.
G = You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H =You are not judgmental.
I =You are always smiling and making others smile.
J =Jealously
K =You like to try new things.
L = Love is something you deeply believe in.
M = Success comes easily to you.
N = You like to work, but you always want a break.
O = You are very open-minded.
P =You are very friendly and understanding.
Q = You are a hypocrite.
R =You are a social butterfly.
S = You are very broad-minded.
T = You have an attitude, a big one.
U = You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
V = You have a very good physique and looks.
W = You like your privacy.
X = You never let people tell you what to do.
Y = You cause a lot of trouble.
Z = You're always fighting with someone

[juhirocks!!]

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer
in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his
wife.However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returnedfrom herhusband's funeral.
The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends.


After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed intothe room, found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read:


To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've Reached
Date: 16 May 2004

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here, and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for
your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW!

Your loving Hubby

[shubha63]

>Gujarati Funeral .... Excellent one.
>
>A family in Gujarat was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother
>(Ba) arrived from the US. It was sent by one of the daughters.
>
>The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no
space
>left in it when they opened the lid; they found a letter on top
>addressed to her brothers and sisters:
>
>Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Smitaben and Varsha,
>
>I am sending Ba's body to you, since it was her wish that she should
be
>cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in GUJARAT.
>
>Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave is consumed.
>
>You will find inside the coffin, under Ba's body, cans of cheese,
>
>10 packets of Tobler chocolates and 8 packets of Badam (peanuts)
please
>divide these among all of you.
>
>On Ba's feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for
>Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha's and Lakshmi's sons.
>Hope the sizes are correct.
>
>Ba is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan.
>
>Just distribute the rest among yourselves.
>
>The 2 new Jeans that Ba is wearing are for the boys.
>
>The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba's left wrist.
>
>Shanta masi, Ba is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you
>asked for. Please take them off her.
>
>The 6 white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided
>
>among my nephews.
>
>
>Please distribute all these fairly.
>
>
>Love Smita.
>
>PS : If anything more required let me know soon as Bapuji is also not
>feeling too well now a days.

[shubha63]

Subject: English Language !!!!!!!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

In what other language do people drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?
Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall?
Why is it that when we transport something by car, it's called a
shipment, but when we transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
Why are people who ride motorcycles called bikers and people who ride
bikes called cyclists?
In what other language do thay call the third hand on the clock the
second hand?
Why is it called a TV set when you get only one?
Why - in our crazy language - can your nose run and your feet smell?

Sometimes you have to believe that all English speakers should be
committed to an asylum for the verbally insane:
If olive oil is made of olives, what do they make baby oil from?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian consume?
A writer is someone who writes, and a stinger is something that stings.
But fingers don't fing and grocers don't groce.
If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of booth be beeth?
If the teacher taught, why isn't it also true that the preacher praught?
If harmless actions are the opposite of harmful actions,
why are shameless and shameful behavior the same?

English is a language in which you can turn a light on and you can turn
a light off and you can turn a light out, but you can't turn a light in;
in which the sun comes up and goes down, but prices go up and come down.
In which your nose can simultaneously burn up and burn down and your car
can slow up and slow down, in which you can fill in a form by filling
out a form and in which your alarm clock goes off by going on.

English is a crazy language. What is it that when the sun or the moon or
the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they
are invisible?; and why when I wind up my watch, I start it,
but when I wind up this essay, I shall end it?

[juhirocks!!]

hey shubha..
cool1s

[smruti]

shubha...these ones are so cool...keep that coming:)

[joshmehosh]

u ppl r srsly gonna banish me from dis place... but i cant keep myself from saying this...promise dis is last.....

umm accordin to me... last yr tana had posted dis wen she had created dis thread

hey guys this is the first thread ive made n i hope u like it
here u gotta post funny stuff, jokes, riddles, n poems on the foursome or any other character in remix
so keep rocking keep posting
luv
tanvi

umm so in my opinion dis thread be OF d remix ppl ...so y d hell r u guys postinf fwded msgs.... everybody get those slick jokes..... in my opinion dis place was meant to b a creative paradise.....to let u think wild n joke abt personalitites u like....but wat i find is thoroghly disappointing.... im srsly sorry 4 saying dis as i have actually no right 2 comment on u coz u ppl r having loads of fun....:D .. am srsly sorry but dats wat i feel..... oooooh ash u gonaa chuck me out right/??.. jeez.... i had to say so i said it.... anyways.... cheers....

[animateash]

u ppl r srsly gonna banish me from dis place... but i cant keep myself from saying this...promise dis is last.....

umm accordin to me... last yr tana had posted dis wen she had created dis thread

hey guys this is the first thread ive made n i hope u like it
here u gotta post funny stuff, jokes, riddles, n poems on the foursome or any other character in remix
so keep rocking keep posting
luv
tanvi

umm so in my opinion dis thread be OF d remix ppl ...so y d hell r u guys postinf fwded msgs.... everybody get those slick jokes..... in my opinion dis place was meant to b a creative paradise.....to let u think wild n joke abt personalitites u like....but wat i find is thoroghly disappointing.... im srsly sorry 4 saying dis as i have actually no right 2 comment on u coz u ppl r having loads of fun....:D .. am srsly sorry but dats wat i feel..... oooooh ash u gonaa chuck me out right/??.. jeez.... i had to say so i said it.... anyways.... cheers....

look der r hell changes in dis forum its bene 1 and half year since dey hafent visted d forum ..... seocndly dis therad is converted ijnto normalfun and masti .......

and i and otehrs dont thnk dis is disappointing infact dis one way of keeping ppl entertained ......and no1 has ne objecton......

and lastly i m no1 2 banish u from here ... dis is free forum and i m only d mod handling d forum n no1 2 banish ne1

luv ash

[evilseye]

Ha ha ha!!!!!!Gr8 ones shubha!!!!!!!!
Luv
Sur

[animateash]

shubah gdu one lol

[shubha63]

thanx every1

[shubha63]

Many years ago in a small Indian village,


A farmer had the misfortune Of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender.


The Moneylender , who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful Daughter. So he proposed a bargain.


He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his Daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the Proposal.



So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let Providence decide the matter.


He told them that he would put a black Pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would Have to pick one pebble from the bag.


1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven.


2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.


3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into Jail.


They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As They talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he Picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two Black pebbles and put them into the bag.


He then asked the girl to pick A pebble from the bag.



Now, imagine that you were standing in the field. What would you have Done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you Have told her?



Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:


1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.


2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag And expose the money-lender as a cheat.


3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order To save her father from his debt and imprisonment.


Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with The hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral And logical thinking.


The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with Traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses


The above logical answers.


What would you recommend to the Girl to do?


Well, here is what she did ....


The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without Looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path Where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.


"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the Bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I Picked."


Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had Picked the white one. And since the money-lender dared not admit his Dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into An extremely advantageous one.


MORAL OF THE STORY:

Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't Attempt to think.

[remix_is_the_best]

oki i hav some jokes

1) A young boy was sittin on a mountain n studyin
a man came by n asked d boy why was he doin so
d boy replied "actually yeh higher studies hai na"

2) A sardar was walkin by..........he was wearin gloves on one hand but not on d other............a man saw him n asked why was he doing this
d sardar replied "according 2 d weather forecasts , it'll be cold on one hand n hot on d other hand:p "

3) A teacher asked a boy in school..........
teacher - rahul , A for
rahul - teacher , apple
teacher - J for
rahul - jor se bolo jai mata di!!!!!!!!

4) Teacher - rita , do u say prayers b4 eatin??
rita - no teacher i dont hav 2 coz my mom is a good cook

5) teacher - why r u late , webster???
webster - bcoz of a sign
teacher - what sign??????
webster - school ahead , go slow

6) A man telephoned an airline office
Man - how long'll d flight take 2 fly 2 boston??????
clerk - Just a minute...........
man - ok thank u
d man hung up

luv tanu

[evilseye]

Ha ha ha!!!!!Gud ones ppl!!!!
Luv
Sur

[animateash]

gud oens every111111111

[nimi]

SEVENTEEN:
U LOOK AT THEIR PROFILE/PICTURE CONSTANTLY



SIXTEEN:
WHEN YOUR ON THE PHONE WITH THEM LATE AT NIGHT AND THEY HANG UP, YOU STILL MISS
THEM EVEN WHEN IT WAS JUST TWO MINUTES AGO.



FIFTEEN:
YOU READ THEIR TEXTS or IMS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.



FOURTEEN:
YOU WALK REALLY SLOW WHEN YOU'RE WITH THEM



THIRTEEN:
YOU FEEL SHY WHENEVER YOU'RE/THEY'RE AROUND.



ELEVEN:
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM, YOUR HEART BEATS FASTER AND SLOWER AT THE SAME TIME



TEN:
YOU SMILE WHEN YOU HEAR THEIR VOICE.



NINE:
WHEN YOU lOOK AT THEM, YOU CAN'T SEE THE OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU, All YOU SEE IS
HIM//HER.



EIGHT:
YOU START LISTENING TO SLOW SONGS, WHILE THINKING OF THEM



SEVEN:
THEY'RE ALL YOU THINK ABOUT.



SIX:
YOU GET HIGH JUST FROM THEIR SCENT.



FIVE:
YOU REALlIZE THAT YOU'RE AlWAYS SMILING TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM.



FOUR:
YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM, OR ANYTHING TO SEE THEM.



THREE:
WHILE READING THIS, THERE WAS ONE PERSON ON YOUR MIND THE WHOLE TIME...



TWO:
YOU WERE SO BUSY THINKING ABOUT THAT PERSON, YOU DIDN'T NOTICE NUMBER TWELVE.



ONE:
YOU JUST SCROLLED UP TO CHECK & ARE NOW SILENTLY LAUGHING AT YOURSELF.


NOW MAKE A WiSH. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.......



*

**

***

**... **

*****

******
... *******

********... *********

*****... ***

*******

****... **

*****

****

... ***

**

*

*
... **

***

****

... *****

******

**... *****

********

*... ********

********
... *******

******

... *****

****

***
... **

*

**

**... *

****

*****

... ******

*******

*... *******

*********
... ********

*******
... ******

*****

... ****

***

IF YOU DIDN'T NOTICE NUMBER 12, POST THIS AS: "17 signs of falling in LOVE."
*AND SOMETHING GOOD WILL HAPPEN TO YOU TONIGHT.

[guru_sal]

oki i hav some jokes

1) A young boy was sittin on a mountain n studyin
a man came by n asked d boy why was he doin so
d boy replied "actually yeh higher studies hai na"

2) A sardar was walkin by..........he was wearin gloves on one hand but not on d other............a man saw him n asked why was he doing this
d sardar replied "according 2 d weather forecasts , it'll be cold on one hand n hot on d other hand:p "

3) A teacher asked a boy in school..........
teacher - rahul , A for
rahul - teacher , apple
teacher - J for
rahul - jor se bolo jai mata di!!!!!!!!

4) Teacher - rita , do u say prayers b4 eatin??
rita - no teacher i dont hav 2 coz my mom is a good cook

5) teacher - why r u late , webster???
webster - bcoz of a sign
teacher - what sign??????
webster - school ahead , go slow

6) A man telephoned an airline office
Man - how long'll d flight take 2 fly 2 boston??????
clerk - Just a minute...........
man - ok thank u
d man hung up

luv tanu
good ones tanu

[dheerajverma1452]

50 lakhs for a gaming tourney. Sounds insane, doesn’t it? But its true guys. I checked out www.vixture.com and this killer tourney called Vixture is coming up…u must register to this one.