Fun 'n' Masti!!!!

[style_ashitia]

I HAVE A JOKE.........................

ONCE A GUY WAS MAROFYING LINE ON A GIRL...............
HE SAYS.........................

GUY: MEREY DIL KEY DARWAZEY TUMHAREY LIYE HAMESHA KHULEY HAIN...................ANDAR AA JAO NA..............

THE GIRL REPLIES.................

GIRL: CHAPPAL UTARO KYA???????????

GUY: DIL HAI, MADIR NAHI..
CHAPPAL PEHEN KAR CHALI AAO!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahahahahhaaaaaaaa hey divs gud one!!!!!!!!

[divyaashimix]

hahahahahahhaaaaaaaa hey divs gud one!!!!!!!!
Thanks sweety!!!!!!!!!
I'll post some more like this!!!!

[remix_rox]

hey!!n awesum one!!!

[animateash]

aarre aaaaaaaaaasssssssshhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiii ii itni rocking pics kahaan se layiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!
awsoem ones deaer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thanx a lt mail mein mile the re n i loved it so thot of sharimg wth u all

luv ash

[animateash]

I HAVE A JOKE.........................

ONCE A GUY WAS MAROFYING LINE ON A GIRL...............
HE SAYS.........................

GUY: MEREY DIL KEY DARWAZEY TUMHAREY LIYE HAMESHA KHULEY HAIN...................ANDAR AA JAO NA..............

THE GIRL REPLIES.................

GIRL: CHAPPAL UTARO KYA???????????

GUY: DIL HAI, MANDIR NAHI..
CHAPPAL PEHEN KAR CHALI AAO!!!!!!!!!!!


ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

dam funny

luv ash

[divyaashimix]

Thanks to all.........
here is one more..................

SARDAR was coming out from a restuant after having his meal...............
he saw a banana peel on the road he said..........

ARREY YARR, AAJ PHIR PHISALNA PADEGA!!!!!!!!

[animateash]

Thanks to all.........
here is one more..................

SARDAR was coming out from a restuant after having his meal...............
he saw a banana peel on the road he said..........

ARREY YARR, AAJ PHIR PHISALNA PADEGA!!!!!!!!

hye dis one is dam funnay and yes sardar jokes r always gud

he he he h

luv ash

[divyaashimix]

hye dis one is dam funnay and yes sardar jokes r always gud

he he he h

luv ash
Thanks sweety!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and yes...
SARDAR JOKES WOULD ALWAYS BE SARDAR JOKESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nobody can beat themmmmmmmm...............:)

[style_ashitia]

Thanks sweety!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and yes...
SARDAR JOKES WOULD ALWAYS BE SARDAR JOKESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nobody can beat themmmmmmmm...............:)
ya rite!!!!!!!!!!:D

[animateash]

okei frend zi gto dis on 1st page and amit now u can post all ur pjs and stuff here

lvu ash

[amit@bitspilani]

okei frend zi gto dis on 1st page and amit now u can post all ur pjs and stuff here

lvu ash
sure...sure...
thanx again...

[animateash]

sure...sure...
thanx again...
welcoem dear

luv ash

[animateash]

. Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"
He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement"

2 .How do you recognize a Sardar in School? He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

3. Once a Sardar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so? He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

4. Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar , where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya?" The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?"

luv ash

[animateash]

5. Teacher: Can you tell me something about Raja Ram Mohan Roy? Saradji: They were 4 best friends..!

6. Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne Flag Dikhaya, Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.

7. How can a Sardar Kill a Lion? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard & comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo ta ra ra.

9. Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar...!!!

10. Sardar with a new mobile called everyone from his Phone Book & said "My MobileNo. has changed Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610"


LUV ASH

[divyaashimix]

hey friends.....
try this out...
I need your answers........
I'll do the first one....
you try the others.........
FIRE CITY: AGRA
samjha.......................................

girl city:
capcicum city:
water city:
green city:
jail place:

:D


try.........

[animateash]

11. Sardar falls in Love with Nurse. He writes a Love letter to her, " I LOVE U SISTER."

12. What is Common between: Krishna , Ram, Gandhi ji & Jesus..? Sardar ji Replied: All are born on Government Holidays.

13. Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour , Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey Santa: Oh, I thought it was its Skin...!!!

14. Sardar Son: O God! Please make New York the capital of Punjab . Sardar: Why are you praying for that? Sardar Son: That is what I have written in my exam.


luv ash

[evilseye]

hey friends.....
try this out...
I need your answers........
I'll do the first one....
you try the others.........
FIRE CITY: AGRA
samjha.......................................

girl city:
capcicum city:
water city:
green city:
jail place:

:D


try.........
I think Capsicum city Must b Shimla,Coz its shimla mirch,n Green city is Haridwar.Is water city Panipat?
Im not sure of the answers but.....Just tried!
Luv
Sur.

[divyaashimix]

11. Sardar falls in Love with Nurse. He writes a Love letter to her, " I LOVE U SISTER."

12. What is Common between: Krishna , Ram, Gandhi ji & Jesus..? Sardar ji Replied: All are born on Government Holidays.

13. Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour , Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey Santa: Oh, I thought it was its Skin...!!!

14. Sardar Son: O God! Please make New York the capital of Punjab . Sardar: Why are you praying for that? Sardar Son: That is what I have written in my exam.


luv ash
Hey ASH........
kool one yarrr!!!!!!!!:D

[divyaashimix]

I think Capsicum city Must b Shimla,Coz its shimla mirch,n Green city is Haridwar.Is water city Panipat?
Im not sure of the answers but.....Just tried!
Luv
Sur.
Capcicum city is Shimla.............
Green City is Haridwaar
Water City is Panipat......
BINGO for these...........
try the rest ones.........:D

[animateash]

Hey ASH........
kool one yarrr!!!!!!!!:D
welcoem babes

luv ash

[divyaashimix]

ONCE A SARDAR WAS TAKING HIS THREE DOGS FOR AN EVENING WALK...........
A PSYCO COMES AND ASKS HIM.............
SARDARJI.........
PSYCO:WHAT IS THE NAME OF THISWHITE DOG?
SARDAR:DILAWAR SINGH....
PSYCO: SARDARJI, WHAT IS THE NAME OF THIS BLACK DOG?
SARDAR:DIBAAR SINGH......
PSYCO:SARDARJI, WHAT IS THE NAME OF THIS BROWN DOG?
SARDAR:DILDAAR SINGH.........
PSYCO: AND WHAT IS YOUR NAME SARDARJI?
SARDAR: TOMY!!!!!!!!!:D

[evilseye]

ONCE A SARDAR WAS TAKING HIS THREE DOGS FOR AN EVENING WALK...........
A PSYCO COMES AND ASKS HIM.............
SARDARJI.........
PSYCO:WHAT IS THE NAME OF THISWHITE DOG?
SARDAR:DILAWAR SINGH....
PSYCO: SARDARJI, WHAT IS THE NAME OF THIS BLACK DOG?
SARDAR:DIBAAR SINGH......
PSYCO:SARDARJI, WHAT IS THE NAME OF THIS BROWN DOG?
SARDAR:DILDAAR SINGH.........
PSYCO: AND WHAT IS YOUR NAME SARDARJI?
SARDAR: TOMY!!!!!!!!!:D
He He He He .....
Gud one yaar!!!
Luv
Sur

[animateash]

ONCE A SARDAR WAS TAKING HIS THREE DOGS FOR AN EVENING WALK...........
A PSYCO COMES AND ASKS HIM.............
SARDARJI.........
PSYCO:WHAT IS THE NAME OF THISWHITE DOG?
SARDAR:DILAWAR SINGH....
PSYCO: SARDARJI, WHAT IS THE NAME OF THIS BLACK DOG?
SARDAR:DIBAAR SINGH......
PSYCO:SARDARJI, WHAT IS THE NAME OF THIS BROWN DOG?
SARDAR:DILDAAR SINGH.........
PSYCO: AND WHAT IS YOUR NAME SARDARJI?
SARDAR: TOMY!!!!!!!!!:D


hey dats awesoem re

lvu ash

[divyaashimix]

hey dats awesoem re

lvu ash
Hey thanks EVE and ASH....
good you liked it......:D

[amit@bitspilani]

Wonderful Divya Ji.......
Now Let Me Tell One:

Santa:dogs Marriage Kyon Nahin Karte?????
.....................
..................
Banta(after Long Thinking):
Kyonki Wo To Penle Hi Kutte Ki Zindagi Bita Rahe Hote Hain.......

[amit@bitspilani]

What Is Difference Between Problem And Challenge...




2 Boys + 1 Girl = Problem.........
1 Boy + 2 Girls = Challenge...........

[amit@bitspilani]

sardar To His Friend: I Kiss My Wife Everyday Before I Go To Office ..wat Abt U........?



Friend: I Kiss Ur Wife After U Go To Office........




Sardar:hahahaha, I Kissed First............

[amit@bitspilani]

height Of Fashion:
Dhoti With A Zip

Height Of Secracy:
Offring Bank Visiting Card

Height Of Laziness:
Adoptinf A Child Just After Marriage

Height Of Craziness:
Xeroxing A Blank Paper

Height Of Stupidity:
Luking Thru Keyhole Of A Glass Door

Height Of Honesty:
Pregnant Woman Purchasing One And A Half Ticket

Height Of Suicide Attempt:
A Duffar Jumpinf Fromthe Footpath On The Road

Height Of Dehydration:
A Cow Giving Milk Powder

Height Of Time Waste:
U Reading Whole Thing

[animateash]

hey amit alllr awseoe,m re...loevd it speciallyd at sardar wala

luv ash

[amit@bitspilani]

hey amit alllr awseoe,m re...loevd it speciallyd at sardar wala

luv ash
THANX YAAR...
ABHI AUR BAHUT HAIN MERE PAAS.....
I HOPE U'LL ENJOY THEM ALSO......

[animateash]

THANX YAAR...
ABHI AUR BAHUT HAIN MERE PAAS.....
I HOPE U'LL ENJOY THEM ALSO......
yeahh sure post it even i ahev som i will post sun

luv ash

[amit@bitspilani]

yeahh sure post it even i ahev som i will post sun

luv ashHAVE ONE MORE:
EK MURGI APNE 3 BACHHON K SAATH ROAD CROSS KAR RAHI THI ....

ROAD CROSS KARNE KE BAAD USKA EK BACHHA BOLA:"AAKHIR HUM PAANCHON NE ROAD CROSS KAR HI LI"

USNE AAISA KYON KAHA...????

SOCHO...SOCHI...


DIMAAG LAGAO....


TANIK AUR SOCHO....


NAHI MALOOM........???????




ARRE BHAI BACHHA HAI,

GINTI NAHI AATI HOGI SIMPLE...........

[divyaashimix]

HAVE ONE MORE:
EK MURGI APNE 3 BACHHON K SAATH ROAD CROSS KAR RAHI THI ....

ROAD CROSS KARNE KE BAAD USKA EK BACHHA BOLA:"AAKHIR HUM PAANCHON NE ROAD CROSS KAR HI LI"

USNE AAISA KYON KAHA...????

SOCHO...SOCHI...


DIMAAG LAGAO....


TANIK AUR SOCHO....


NAHI MALOOM........???????




ARRE BHAI BACHHA HAI,

GINTI NAHI AATI HOGI SIMPLE...........



Hey Bhagguuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that was indeed great one..........
amazing yarrr.......

[divyaashimix]

Wonderful Divya Ji.......
Now Let Me Tell One:

Santa:dogs Marriage Kyon Nahin Karte?????
.....................
..................
Banta(after Long Thinking):
Kyonki Wo To Penle Hi Kutte Ki Zindagi Bita Rahe Hote Hain.......

DIVYA JI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

great respect haannn.........................

and yeah.......
the joke was rockinggg......:D

[amit@bitspilani]

DIVYA JI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

great respect haannn.........................

and yeah.......
the joke was rockinggg......:D
HEY DIVYA ..THANX YAAR...
EVEN U ALSO POST NICE JOKES...
KEEP GOING DIVYA..

[amit@bitspilani]

another One:
Girl:will U Marry Me?


Santa:no,
Humare Yahaan Shadi Sirfrelatives Mein Hoti Hai...
Maa Ne Papa Se
Didi Ne Jija Se
Bhaiya Ne Bhabhi Se Ki.......

[style_ashitia]

another One:
Girl:will U Marry Me?


Santa:no,
Humare Yahaan Shadi Sirfrelatives Mein Hoti Hai...
Maa Ne Papa Se
Didi Ne Jija Se
Bhaiya Ne Bhabhi Se Ki.......
hey amit gud one i have heard this before but still gud one!!!!!!!!!

[animateash]

hey amit awesoem men kya baat hai

luv ash

[amit@bitspilani]

THANX ASH.........



Top ten reasons why any Indian can't be a terrorist..

1. We are always late; we would have missed all 4 flights
2. Pretty girls on the plane would distract us
3. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves
4. With food and drinks on the plane, we would forget why we're there
5. We talk with our hands; therefore we would have to put our weapons
down
6. We would ALL want to fly the plane
7. We would argue and start a fight in the plane
8. We can't keep a secret; we would have told everyone a week before
doing it
9. We would have put our country's flag on the windshield
10. We would all have fallen over each other to be in the photograph
being taken by one of the hostages


ISNT IT FUNNY.........
I READ IT SOMEWHERE SO I POST IT HERE.........

[divyaashimix]

HEY DIVYA ..THANX YAAR...
EVEN U ALSO POST NICE JOKES...
KEEP GOING DIVYA..
yeah tera hi department rehney dey!!!!!!!!!!!!:D

[divyaashimix]

THANX ASH.........



Top ten reasons why any Indian can't be a terrorist..

1. We are always late; we would have missed all 4 flights
2. Pretty girls on the plane would distract us
3. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves
4. With food and drinks on the plane, we would forget why we're there
5. We talk with our hands; therefore we would have to put our weapons
down
6. We would ALL want to fly the plane
7. We would argue and start a fight in the plane
8. We can't keep a secret; we would have told everyone a week before
doing it
9. We would have put our country's flag on the windshield
10. We would all have fallen over each other to be in the photograph
being taken by one of the hostages


ISNT IT FUNNY.........
I READ IT SOMEWHERE SO I POST IT HERE.........

heheheheheheheheheheheheheheheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!
great one AMIT!!!!!!!!!!
seriously mann........:D

[amit@bitspilani]

heheheheheheheheheheheheheheheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!
great one AMIT!!!!!!!!!!
seriously mann........:D
THANX DIVYA....

[divyaashimix]

THANX DIVYA....
your welcome......:D

[amit@bitspilani]

HERE'S MORE ....
THESE R SOME NICE PJS...
WAISE AGAR NA SAMAJH MEIN AAYE TO KOI BAAT NAHI...DO TTE DI BAAD AGAR SAMAJH AA JAYEN TO HAS LENA......
(KIDDING YAAR)




3 + 3 =8
Bataaon Kaise?


Bataaon Bataaon!





Nahi Pata?!!





Are
Galati se!!!!!!!!!!!


================================================== ===============================

Teacher: 'A' for?
Student: Apple !!!
Teacher: Jor se bolo
Student: JAI MATA DI

================================================== ===============================

1) Smoking
2) Drinking
3) Charas
4) Ganja
5) Chicken
6) Mutton
7) Oily food
8) Masala
9) Sleep & obesity
10) Pollution

= Heart Attack

Matlab


scrolll down








DUS bahane karke le gaye D! IL !!


================================================== ================================

What's the opposite of "Dominoes"???

think
think
think
think
think

tired of thinking???









Well the answer is "Domi doesn't know"



================================================== ================================

Whats the opposite of "Pizza Hut"
...
...
.
.....







okei don't kill me "Pizza.... Hutna mat"


================================================== ================================

ok whats the opp of venky's..










venlocks...
(now,now,dont bang ur head plz..)


================================================== ================================


Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?

Comepalakrishnan.


================================================== ================================


What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy?

Subramanium Didn't See Me.


================================================== ================================

-
-
A guy is traveling in a deluxe car in the desert. He wants to take a
bath, but he hasn't got a soap and there is no water anywhere
around...

what can he do?



->>He will integrate his d-lux car to get Lux + c
(constant of
integration)
Using the lux soap he will take bath in the 'c'.


================================================== ================================

-
one day a man calls his wife from his IDEA mobile his call gets cross
connected to some! other lady.They still keep on talking..they start
liking each other..and finally they get married.
what MORAL do u get???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
..
An IDEA can change your wife.


================================================== ================================


A sardarji went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the operator twice.


:-(

Guess why ?









because there it was written "Number dial karne se pehele do lagae"


================================================== ===============================


ek haathi agar swimming pool mein gir gaya to kaise bahar
nikalega???????
........
........
think
....
think....
......
......
......
.......
.......
.......
.......
geela ho ke nikalega......




================================================== ================================

ek aadmi marne vala hei to use kya khilaoge ........

sweets nops

sault nopes

think

think










are yaar
birla white cement
kyunki iske ander jaan hei.......



================================================== ================================


whats difference between a man jumping from 1st floor and a man
jumping from 10th floor?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
former goes (hit) aaaaaaaaa
later goes aaaaaaaaa (hit)




================================================== ================================

Other than being fruits, what is common between an Apple and an
Orange?


think......
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
socho socho
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
the answer is ..........
They Both Are Not a Banana !!

[animateash]

THANX ASH.........



Top ten reasons why any Indian can't be a terrorist..

1. We are always late; we would have missed all 4 flights
2. Pretty girls on the plane would distract us
3. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves
4. With food and drinks on the plane, we would forget why we're there
5. We talk with our hands; therefore we would have to put our weapons
down
6. We would ALL want to fly the plane
7. We would argue and start a fight in the plane
8. We can't keep a secret; we would have told everyone a week before
doing it
9. We would have put our country's flag on the windshield
10. We would all have fallen over each other to be in the photograph
being taken by one of the hostages


ISNT IT FUNNY.........
I READ IT SOMEWHERE SO I POST IT HERE.........


heyw elcome dis one is awseoem loevd it re

u rock as alwasy

luv ash

[animateash]

HERE'S MORE ....
THESE R SOME NICE PJS...
WAISE AGAR NA SAMAJH MEIN AAYE TO KOI BAAT NAHI...DO TTE DI BAAD AGAR SAMAJH AA JAYEN TO HAS LENA......
(KIDDING YAAR)




3 + 3 =8
Bataaon Kaise?


Bataaon Bataaon!





Nahi Pata?!!





Are
Galati se!!!!!!!!!!!


================================================== ===============================

Teacher: 'A' for?
Student: Apple !!!
Teacher: Jor se bolo
Student: JAI MATA DI

================================================== ===============================

1) Smoking
2) Drinking
3) Charas
4) Ganja
5) Chicken
6) Mutton
7) Oily food
8) Masala
9) Sleep & obesity
10) Pollution

= Heart Attack

Matlab


scrolll down








DUS bahane karke le gaye D! IL !!


================================================== ================================

What's the opposite of "Dominoes"???

think
think
think
think
think

tired of thinking???









Well the answer is "Domi doesn't know"



================================================== ================================

Whats the opposite of "Pizza Hut"
...
...
.
.....







okei don't kill me "Pizza.... Hutna mat"


================================================== ================================

ok whats the opp of venky's..










venlocks...
(now,now,dont bang ur head plz..)


================================================== ================================


Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?

Comepalakrishnan.


================================================== ================================


What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy?

Subramanium Didn't See Me.


================================================== ================================

-
-
A guy is traveling in a deluxe car in the desert. He wants to take a
bath, but he hasn't got a soap and there is no water anywhere
around...

what can he do?



->>He will integrate his d-lux car to get Lux + c
(constant of
integration)
Using the lux soap he will take bath in the 'c'.


================================================== ================================

-
one day a man calls his wife from his IDEA mobile his call gets cross
connected to some! other lady.They still keep on talking..they start
liking each other..and finally they get married.
what MORAL do u get???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
..
An IDEA can change your wife.


================================================== ================================


A sardarji went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the operator twice.


:-(

Guess why ?









because there it was written "Number dial karne se pehele do lagae"


================================================== ===============================


ek haathi agar swimming pool mein gir gaya to kaise bahar
nikalega???????
........
........
think
....
think....
......
......
......
.......
.......
.......
.......
geela ho ke nikalega......




================================================== ================================

ek aadmi marne vala hei to use kya khilaoge ........

sweets nops

sault nopes

think

think










are yaar
birla white cement
kyunki iske ander jaan hei.......



================================================== ================================


whats difference between a man jumping from 1st floor and a man
jumping from 10th floor?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
former goes (hit) aaaaaaaaa
later goes aaaaaaaaa (hit)




================================================== ================================

Other than being fruits, what is common between an Apple and an
Orange?


think......
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
socho socho
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
the answer is ..........
They Both Are Not a Banana !!





hey bhaggu kya baat hai

luv ash

[animateash]

Sardar vs. Pope

About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Sikhs had to leave Italy. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Sikh community.

So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Sikh community.
If the Sikh won, the Sikhs could stay. If the Pope won, the Sikhs would leave.

The Sikhs realized that they had no choice. So they picked a middle-aged man named Harbinder Singh to represent them. Harbinder asked for one additional condition to the debate. To make it more interesting, neither side would be allowed to talk.

The Pope agreed.

The day of the great debate came. Harbinder Singh and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute. Then the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.

Harbinder looked back at him and raised one finger.

The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head.

Harbinder pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine.

Harbinder pulled out an apple.

The Pope stood up and said, "I give up. This man is too good. The Sikhs can stay."

An hour later, the cardinals were gathered around the Pope asking him what had happened.

The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the holy trinity.

He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still One God common to both our religions.

Then, I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us.

He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us.

Then, I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins.

He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin.

He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Sikh community had crowded around Harbinder Singh.


"What happened?" they asked.

"Well," said Harbinder, "First he said to me that the Sikhs had three days to get out of here.

I told him not one of us was leaving.

Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Sikhs.

I let him know that we were staying right here."

"Yes, and then???" asked the crowd.

"I don't know", said Harbinder, "He took out his lunch, and I took out mine!!


luv ash

[animateash]

Sardar vs. Pope

About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Sikhs had to leave Italy. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Sikh community.

So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Sikh community.
If the Sikh won, the Sikhs could stay. If the Pope won, the Sikhs would leave.

The Sikhs realized that they had no choice. So they picked a middle-aged man named Harbinder Singh to represent them. Harbinder asked for one additional condition to the debate. To make it more interesting, neither side would be allowed to talk.

The Pope agreed.

The day of the great debate came. Harbinder Singh and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute. Then the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.

Harbinder looked back at him and raised one finger.

The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head.

Harbinder pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine.

Harbinder pulled out an apple.

The Pope stood up and said, "I give up. This man is too good. The Sikhs can stay."

An hour later, the cardinals were gathered around the Pope asking him what had happened.

The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the holy trinity.

He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still One God common to both our religions.

Then, I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us.

He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us.

Then, I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins.

He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin.

He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Sikh community had crowded around Harbinder Singh.


"What happened?" they asked.

"Well," said Harbinder, "First he said to me that the Sikhs had three days to get out of here.

I told him not one of us was leaving.

Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Sikhs.

I let him know that we were staying right here."

"Yes, and then???" asked the crowd.

"I don't know", said Harbinder, "He took out his lunch, and I took out mine!!


luv ash

[animateash]

Mumbai police are really excellent. They can even milk the bull..Read this





All the police organizations in the world are called to meet at a common
place to evaluate the best organization. Only major organizations like the
New York Police, the Melbourne Police, Scotland Yard, the Dutch Police and
the Mumbai Police pass the eliminations round.

Now the task is to select the best one among them. Surprisingly, all
the 5 groups do equally well in all the events so the judges put in a last
(tiebreak) event to select the best team. They set a tiger free into a
nearby forest and the team that catches the tiger in the least amount of
time is to be declared the winner.

First the Dutch Police go into the jungle and catch the tiger in
30minutes. Next the Melbourne Police go and return in 20 min. with the
tiger. After this the New York police go and catch the tiger in 15 min. Next
Scotland Yard detectives go in and catch the tiger in a mere 10 min.

The Mumbai Police have the the last slot. The t iger is released and
the Mumbai Police start chasing it. 10min go by.......20 min go
by......30 min go by....1 hour passes by....3 hours pass by. The
judges get vexed and decide to go into the jungle in search of the
Mumbai Police. In a short time after getting into the jungle, they are
amazed to find a big BEAR tied to a tree trunk, being beaten left and right
by the Mumbai Police, who are shouting,
"BOL TU SHER HAI .......... SALA BOL ! TU HI SHER HAI !!"


luv ash

[animateash]

hey frednz i simply forgot only just 4 or 5 days i had a caht wth tashu and u all wont believe but i wanst gonan post dis b4 but i thot u all shud know abt it wen i told her dat remxi is returning uv ashi patched up ...i was shocked 2 hear her answer she simply sadi dat she dont care remxi is ver boring and said lot of thngs i nevre xpected dis form tatshu atleats i cud not believ my eyes wen i read dis ......dis is really sad re

luv ash

[animateash]

Difference between Boys and Girls while using ATM

BOYZZZZZZZZZZZ :-



1. Drive to the bank, park and go to the Cash Dispenser.
2. Insert card

3. Dial code and desired amount
4. Take the cash, the card and the slip








Girls:

1. Drive to the bank


2. Engine stalled


3. Check make-up in the mirror


4. Apply perfume


5. Manually check haircut



6. Park the car - failure


7. Park the car - failure

8. Park the car - Success

9. Search for the card in the handbag

10. Insert card, rejected by the machine
11. Throw phone card back in handbag,

12. Look for bank card.

13. Insert Card

14. Look for Secret Box (where secret code is written)in Handbag
15. Enter code

16. Study instructions for 2 minutes
17. #Cancel#
18. Re-enter code
19. #Cancel#

20. Call Boyfriend/husband to get correct the code

21. Enter desired amount
22. #Error#

23. Enter bigger amount
24. #Error#

25. Enter maximum amount

27. Take cash
28. Go back to the car


29. Check make up in rear mirror
30. Look for keys in handbag

31. Start car
32. Drive 50 meters
33. STOP

34. Drive back to bank machine
35. Go out of the car

36. Take card and ticket back from machine
37. Go back to the car

38. Throw card on passenger seat
39. Throw slip on the floor

40. Check make up in rear mirror
41. Manually check haircut

42. Go into roundabout - wrong way
43. BRAKE

44. Go into roundabout - right way
45. Drive 5 kilometers
46. Remove hand brake

47. Call boyfriend/husband to tell how miserable she was because of
Him








luv ash

[amit@bitspilani]

Sardar vs. Pope

About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Sikhs had to leave Italy. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Sikh community.

So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Sikh community.
If the Sikh won, the Sikhs could stay. If the Pope won, the Sikhs would leave.

The Sikhs realized that they had no choice. So they picked a middle-aged man named Harbinder Singh to represent them. Harbinder asked for one additional condition to the debate. To make it more interesting, neither side would be allowed to talk.

The Pope agreed.

The day of the great debate came. Harbinder Singh and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute. Then the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.

Harbinder looked back at him and raised one finger.

The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head.

Harbinder pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine.

Harbinder pulled out an apple.

The Pope stood up and said, "I give up. This man is too good. The Sikhs can stay."

An hour later, the cardinals were gathered around the Pope asking him what had happened.

The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the holy trinity.

He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still One God common to both our religions.

Then, I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us.

He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us.

Then, I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins.

He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin.

He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Sikh community had crowded around Harbinder Singh.


"What happened?" they asked.

"Well," said Harbinder, "First he said to me that the Sikhs had three days to get out of here.

I told him not one of us was leaving.

Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Sikhs.

I let him know that we were staying right here."

"Yes, and then???" asked the crowd.

"I don't know", said Harbinder, "He took out his lunch, and I took out mine!!


luv ash
GUD GOING ASH.............

[amit@bitspilani]

hey Bhaggu

Awesome Ash.....
Really Nice......

[amit@bitspilani]

ek Gadha:yaar Mera Malik Mujhe Bahutmarta Hai...

Dusara Gadha:to Tu Bhag Kyon Nahi Jaata....

Pehla Gadha:bhag To Jaaoonpar Vahan Future Bada Bright Hai...
Malik Ki Khubsurat Beti Jab Shararat Karti Haivo Kehta Hai Ki
Teri Shadi Gadhe Se Kar Doonga


Bas Issi Umeed Mein Baitha Hoon..............

[animateash]

hey Bhaggu

Awesome Ash.....
Really Nice......
he tahxn a lto i will post mroe sun

luv ash

[animateash]

ek Gadha:yaar Mera Malik Mujhe Bahutmarta Hai...

Dusara Gadha:to Tu Bhag Kyon Nahi Jaata....

Pehla Gadha:bhag To Jaaoonpar Vahan Future Bada Bright Hai...
Malik Ki Khubsurat Beti Jab Shararat Karti Haivo Kehta Hai Ki
Teri Shadi Gadhe Se Kar Doonga


Bas Issi Umeed Mein Baitha Hoon..............

hey dis is so fnny

luv ash

[amit@bitspilani]

a Person Goes To A Doctor .......



Person:doctor Mujhe Aisi Medicine Dijiye
Ke Marne Ke Baad Phir Zinda Ho Jaun.......





Doc:aise Mein Main Aapki Koi
Help Nahi Kar Sakta...........

You Please Contact







Ekta Kapoor...........

[animateash]

a Person Goes To A Doctor .......



Person:doctor Mujhe Aisi Medicine Dijiye
Ke Marne Ke Baad Phir Zinda Ho Jaun.......





Doc:aise Mein Main Aapki Koi
Help Nahi Kar Sakta...........

You Please Contact







Ekta Kapoor...........



hey dis one is d ebst

lvua sh

[amit@bitspilani]

hey dis one is d ebst

lvua sh
THANX...WELL EVEN I ENJOY CRACKING JOKES ON KEKETA.....\



I LUV IT.........

[divyaashimix]

Difference between Boys and Girls while using ATM

BOYZZZZZZZZZZZ :-



1. Drive to the bank, park and go to the Cash Dispenser.
2. Insert card

3. Dial code and desired amount
4. Take the cash, the card and the slip








Girls:

1. Drive to the bank


2. Engine stalled


3. Check make-up in the mirror


4. Apply perfume


5. Manually check haircut



6. Park the car - failure


7. Park the car - failure

8. Park the car - Success

9. Search for the card in the handbag

10. Insert card, rejected by the machine
11. Throw phone card back in handbag,

12. Look for bank card.

13. Insert Card

14. Look for Secret Box (where secret code is written)in Handbag
15. Enter code

16. Study instructions for 2 minutes
17. #Cancel#
18. Re-enter code
19. #Cancel#

20. Call Boyfriend/husband to get correct the code

21. Enter desired amount
22. #Error#

23. Enter bigger amount
24. #Error#

25. Enter maximum amount

27. Take cash
28. Go back to the car


29. Check make up in rear mirror
30. Look for keys in handbag

31. Start car
32. Drive 50 meters
33. STOP

34. Drive back to bank machine
35. Go out of the car

36. Take card and ticket back from machine
37. Go back to the car

38. Throw card on passenger seat
39. Throw slip on the floor

40. Check make up in rear mirror
41. Manually check haircut

42. Go into roundabout - wrong way
43. BRAKE

44. Go into roundabout - right way
45. Drive 5 kilometers
46. Remove hand brake

47. Call boyfriend/husband to tell how miserable she was because of
Him








luv ash


Hey ASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

great one yaarrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D

[amit@bitspilani]

DIFFERENT METHODS TO CATCH A LION.......



Newton 's Method:



Let, the lion catch you.

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Implies you caught lion.



Einstein Method:



Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.

Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will
get tired soon.

Now you can trap it easily.



Software Engineer Method



Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.

If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.




Indian Police Method:



Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its
a lion.



Rajnikanth Method :



Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.

The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself

[animateash]

Hey ASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

great one yaarrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D
tahxn a lot and di u read d not e dat i posted on tashu pzl raed it its very imp

luv ash

[animateash]

DIFFERENT METHODS TO CATCH A LION.......



Newton 's Method:



Let, the lion catch you.

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Implies you caught lion.



Einstein Method:



Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.

Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will
get tired soon.

Now you can trap it easily.



Software Engineer Method



Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.

If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.




Indian Police Method:



Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its
a lion.



Rajnikanth Method :



Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.

The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself

hey dis ione is 2 cool

luv ash

[amit@bitspilani]

hey dis ione is 2 cool

luv ash
THANX ASH....

[divyaashimix]

hey frednz i simply forgot only just 4 or 5 days i had a caht wth tashu and u all wont believe but i wanst gonan post dis b4 but i thot u all shud know abt it wen i told her dat remxi is returning uv ashi patched up ...i was shocked 2 hear her answer she simply sadi dat she dont care remxi is ver boring and said lot of thngs i nevre xpected dis form tatshu atleats i cud not believ my eyes wen i read dis ......dis is really sad re

luv ash

WHAT??????????????????????????
are you sure it was TASHU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:eek:
I can't believe it!!!!!!:eek:

[amit@bitspilani]

teacher To Santa:
Is Line English Banao-
"usne Apna Kaam Kiya Aurkart Hi Gaya..."



Santa:he Done His Work
And Done Dana Dan Done
Dana Dan...........

[amit@bitspilani]

gabbar:kitne Aadmi The?
Sambha:sardar Do..
Gb:mujhe Ginti Nahi Aati...do Kitne Hote Hain?
Smb:sardar Do Ek Ke Baad Aata Hai..
Gab:aur Do Ke Pehle.?
Smb:do Ke Pehle Ek Aata Hai..
Gab:to Beech Mein Kaun Aata Hai..?
Smb:beechme Koi Nahi Aata...
Gab:to Phir Dono Saath Kyon Nahi Aate..?
Smb:do Ek Ke Baad Hi Aa Sakta Hai Kyonki Do Ek Se Bada Hai..
Gab:do Ek Se Kitna Bada Ha..?
Smb:do Ek Se Ek Bada Hai...
Gab:do Ek Se Ek Bada Hai To Ek Ek Se Kitna Bada Hai..?
Smb:sardar ..maine Aapka Namak Khaya Hai..
Mujhe Goli Maar Do........

[animateash]

WHAT??????????????????????????
are you sure it was TASHU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:eek:
I can't believe it!!!!!!:eek:
yes i m sure even i didnt believe wen she said dis

luv ash

[animateash]

teacher To Santa:
Is Line English Banao-
"usne Apna Kaam Kiya Aurkart Hi Gaya..."



Santa:he Done His Work
And Done Dana Dan Done
Dana Dan...........


hey so sufi

luv ash

[animateash]

gabbar:kitne Aadmi The?
Sambha:sardar Do..
Gb:mujhe Ginti Nahi Aati...do Kitne Hote Hain?
Smb:sardar Do Ek Ke Baad Aata Hai..
Gab:aur Do Ke Pehle.?
Smb:do Ke Pehle Ek Aata Hai..
Gab:to Beech Mein Kaun Aata Hai..?
Smb:beechme Koi Nahi Aata...
Gab:to Phir Dono Saath Kyon Nahi Aate..?
Smb:do Ek Ke Baad Hi Aa Sakta Hai Kyonki Do Ek Se Bada Hai..
Gab:do Ek Se Kitna Bada Ha..?
Smb:do Ek Se Ek Bada Hai...
Gab:do Ek Se Ek Bada Hai To Ek Ek Se Kitna Bada Hai..?
Smb:sardar ..maine Aapka Namak Khaya Hai..
Mujhe Goli Maar Do........


hey i loevd dis one

luv ash

[animateash]

A woman entered the hospital to deliver her 15th child. "Congratulations,"
said the nurse, "but don't you think this is enough?" The woman replied,
"Are you kidding? This is the only vacation I get each year."


luv ash

[animateash]

A mute was walking down the street one day and chanced upon a friend of
his, also a mute. In sign language, he inquired how his friend had been
doing. The friend replied (vocally!) "Oh, can that hand-waving shit. I
can talk now."
Intrigued, the mute pressed him for details. Seems he had gone to a
specialist, who, seeing no physical damage, had put him on a treatment
program that had restored the use of his vocal chords.
Gesturing wildly, the mute asked if he might meet this specialist. They
got an appointment that very afternoon.
After an exam, the specialist proclaimed that he had found no permanent
damage. The mute was essentially in the same condition as his buddy,
and that there was no reason why he couldn't be helped as well.
"Yes, yes" signed the mute. "Let's have the first treatment right now!"
"Very well," replied the specialist."Kindly go into the next room, drop
your pants and lean over the examining table. I'll be right in."
The mute does as instructed, and the doctor sneaked in carrying a
broomstick, mallet and jar of Vaseline. Greasing the broom handle, he
'sent it home' with a deft swipe of the mallet.
The mute jumped from the table, screaming, "AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa!!!"
"VERY good," smiled the doctor. "Next Tuesday, we work on 'B'."

[animateash]

After a couple of years a couple wanted to have children, but nothing
worked.
So they went to a doctor, and got checked over.
The doctor took time to reassure them. "Don't worry," he said, "Just take
this sample bottle home and do the necessary, and bring it back tomorrow."
So he went home feeling better, and went back the next day with his little
bottle. It was empty.
The doctor looked at the bottle carefully, " Problems?" he said.
"Have I ever had problems, doc.!" the man replied. " I went home and
straight upstairs, and worked at it for over half an hour. Both hands. I
tell you doc, my hands got too sore to hold it! I had to get the wife
upstairs and she had a go. But even she, with all her experience, couldn't
do it. "
"So what did you do?" said the doctor.
" We had a discussion, and got the mother-in-law involved. I was sure
she'd manage it, but it was no go, even when she used her mouth. And doc,
she tried with her teeth in, and her teeth out!!"
"But nothing we tried would get the top off that bloody bottle!!!!!"

luv ash

[animateash]

My Better Half

You have to agree she's the boss
Or else you'll go for a toss

My wife, is like a knife
When she cuts, it hurts

Her yell casts a spell
Her food is tasty, her words, nasty

Her stare, will make you feel bare
And her look, will open any book
One shout, and the kids are out

When she argues
You begin to see the blues

When she let's her hair down
There's gonna be a showdown

Don't do this, and don't do that
She says, at the drop of a hat
And if she's irritated'¦ (you've
had it)

She's got a figure, which miss universe,
Cannot have in a year

And when I feel lonely
Her presence is of essence

In the car sitting beside
Is what I want in a ride

When I feel hopeless
Just enough is her caress

She looks an age
Of the time she was in college

When she dresses, she looks so cool
Passers by think she goes to school

She'll go for a movie, rather than read a book
Only if the star, is our man Shahrukh

This bundle of yells and shouts and moods and whims
Is Nishreen, my queen

My better half, that is Nish
To make her happy,
Is my only wish.

[animateash]

A brain walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a pint of beer please."
The barman looks at him and says "Sorry, I can't serve you."
"Why not?" askes the brain.
"You're already out of your head."

[animateash]

At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a
portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three black
men totally naked sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures had black willies,
but the one in the middle had a pink willie.

The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting
the painting and offered his assessment. He went on for over half an hour
explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of black men in a
predominately white, patriarchal society. "In fact," he pointed out, "some
serious critics believe that the pink willie also reflects the cultural and
sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society."

After the curator left, an Irishman, approached the couple and said, "Would you
like to know what the painting is really about?" "Now why would you claim to be
more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?" asked the couple. "Because
I'm the guy who painted it," he replied. "In fact, there are no black men
depicted at all. They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle
went home for lunch."

[amit@bitspilani]

gr8 Work Ash.......

They R So Funny...

I Liked All Of Them Especially That Brain Wala And That Woman...


That Poem Is Soooooooooo Funny...
I Luved It..

Awesome Ash...

[animateash]

gr8 Work Ash.......

They R So Funny...

I Liked All Of Them Especially That Brain Wala And That Woman...


That Poem Is Soooooooooo Funny...
I Luved It..

Awesome Ash...
tahxn a lto

luv ash

[divyaashimix]

At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a
portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three black
men totally naked sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures had black willies,
but the one in the middle had a pink willie.

The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting
the painting and offered his assessment. He went on for over half an hour
explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of black men in a
predominately white, patriarchal society. "In fact," he pointed out, "some
serious critics believe that the pink willie also reflects the cultural and
sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society."

After the curator left, an Irishman, approached the couple and said, "Would you
like to know what the painting is really about?" "Now why would you claim to be
more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?" asked the couple. "Because
I'm the guy who painted it," he replied. "In fact, there are no black men
depicted at all. They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle
went home for lunch."

Thakur....
this was gr8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D

[animateash]

Thakur....
this was gr8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D
tahnx alto divu'

luv ash

[divyaashimix]

Life sey fun 'N' Masti bas jaaney wali hai.........

[divyaashimix]

tahnx alto divu'

luv ash
your welcome THAKUR..............

[amit@bitspilani]

A Professor at one of the IIM's ( INDIA )
was explaining marketing concepts to the Students:-







1) You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:

"I am very rich. Marry me!"
- That's Direct Marketing








2) You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says:

"He's very rich. Marry him."
- That's Advertising








3) You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her
telephone number. The next day, you call and say:

"Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."
- That's Telemarketing








4) You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and
straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open
the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer
her ride and then say:

"By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?"
-That's Public Relations








5) You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and
says:

"You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?"
-That's Brand Recognition








6) You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:

"I am very rich. Marry me!"
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
- That's Customer Feedback








7) You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:

"I am very rich. Marry me!"
And she introduces you to her husband.
- That's demand and supply gap








8) You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you
say anything, another person come and tell her:

"I'm rich. Will you marry me?"
and she goes with him
- That's competition eating into your market share








9) You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you
say:
"I'm rich, Marry me!"
your wife arrives.

-That's restriction for entering new markets

[animateash]

A Professor at one of the IIM's ( INDIA )
was explaining marketing concepts to the Students:-







1) You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:

"I am very rich. Marry me!"
- That's Direct Marketing








2) You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says:

"He's very rich. Marry him."
- That's Advertising








3) You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her
telephone number. The next day, you call and say:

"Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."
- That's Telemarketing








4) You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and
straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open
the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer
her ride and then say:

"By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?"
-That's Public Relations








5) You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and
says:

"You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?"
-That's Brand Recognition








6) You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:

"I am very rich. Marry me!"
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
- That's Customer Feedback








7) You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:

"I am very rich. Marry me!"
And she introduces you to her husband.
- That's demand and supply gap








8) You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you
say anything, another person come and tell her:

"I'm rich. Will you marry me?"
and she goes with him
- That's competition eating into your market share








9) You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you
say:
"I'm rich, Marry me!"
your wife arrives.

-That's restriction for entering new markets


hey awesoem

lvua sh

[animateash]

Life sey fun 'N' Masti bas jaaney wali hai.........
hey barabr bola nahi remxi come back sun pzlz

lvua sh

[amit@bitspilani]

hey awesoem

lvua sh
thanx ash...

and PLZ CHEER UP.....

[animateash]

thanx ash...

and PLZ CHEER UP.....



i knwo v ahve 2 cheer up lekin anhi hota hai rexm i v want i t back'

luv ash

[divyaashimix]

i knwo v ahve 2 cheer up lekin anhi hota hai rexm i v want i t back'

luv ash
yahaan par bhi same haal hai.......

[animateash]

yahaan par bhi same haal hai.......
i really dont knwo ab kay hoga:( :( :( :(

lvua sh

[animateash]

tumko dekha.....to yeh khayal aaya

tumko dekha....to yeh khayal aaya

paaglon ke stock mein naya maal aaya!



luv ash

[animateash]

Idhar khuda hai, udar khuda hai,

jidar dekho udar khuda hai,

idhar-udhar bus khuda hi khuda hai

jidhar nahi khuda hai....udhar kal khudega!



lvu sh

[animateash]

The night is dark, the moon is high,

I stop my car, u ask why?


I come close to u, u feel shy,

I tell u those three magical words....


Hye La, Puncture!!!



luv ash

[animateash]

Tumsa koi dusara jameen par hua

to rab se sikayat hogi....


Ek to jehlla nahi jata

dusra aa gayato kya halat hogi!!!


luv ash

[animateash]

koi pathar se na maare mere dewaane ko........


koi pathar se na maare mere dewaane ko........


koi pathar se na maare mere dewaane ko........


abe aage bhi to bol...............


neuclear power ka jamaana hai, bomb se udaa do saale
ko...................


luv ash

[animateash]

Durakht ke paymane pe chilman E husn ka furkat se

sharmana...


Durakht ke paymane pe chilman E husn ka furkat se

sharmana...


Ye line samajh me aaye to mujhe zaroor batana!!


lvua sh

[animateash]

tere dar pe sanam hazar baar aayenge,

tere dar pe sanam hazar baar aayenge.....


ghanti bajayenge aur bhaag jayenge !!


lvua sh

[animateash]

He: Janeman, is dil mein chali aao

She: Sandal nikaloon kya!


He: Pagli, ye mandir nahi hai, aise hi aajao...


luv ash

[animateash]

Mein Tumhare Liye Sab Kuch Karta..Magar Mujhe Kaam

Tha......


Mein Tumhare Liye Doob Ke Marta...Magar Mujhe Zukham

Tha !



luv ash

[animateash]

Unki gali se guzre..ajeeb ittefaq tha

Unki gali se guzre..ajeeb ittefaq tha

Unho ne phool phenka..gamla bhi saath tha!!



lvu ash

[animateash]

Kyon apni kabar khood-hi khod raha hai Galib...


Kyon apni kabar khood-hi khod raha hai Galib...


La, phawda mujhe de!!


luv ash

[animateash]

Tumko dekha to ek khyal aaya

Tumko dekha to ek khyal aaya

Tumhari saheli ko dekha to doosra khyal aaya

luv ash

[animateash]

Kehte hain ki ISHQ main neend ud jaati hai Koi humse

bhi ishq kare Khambhaqat neend bahut aati hai!!

luv ash

[divyaashimix]

hey Thakur,

godd attempt of cheering us......:)

LOVE YOU LOTS ........

[amit@bitspilani]

awesome Ash...
I Dont Have Words...
U've Given Me Immense Pleasure By Posting Those Jokes..
I Mean ...gr8 Work To Cheer Everybody....

[amit@bitspilani]

hey Guys...hope This Will Cheer U A Bit...

Santa Was Busy Removing A Wheel From Auto,banta Asks Him..
Banta:y R U Removing A Wheel From Ur Auto..
Santa:cant U Read "parking For 2 Wheelers Only".....

[amit@bitspilani]

santa Doing Photography On Antim Sanskar Of Banta's Father.

Banta Slapped Him..
Everyone Asked Y??
Banta Says"saala Mere Baapu Nu Kenda 'smile Plz'"......
(he's Asking My Father To Smile Plz)....

[amit@bitspilani]

in Exam 2 Sardar Brothers Appeared..
Ist Writes:father's Name-daljit Singh
2nd Writes:father's Name-manjit Singh
Teacher:wat's Dis?
Sardars:varna Aap Kehte Ki Cheating Ki Hai......

[animateash]

hey Thakur,

godd attempt of cheering us......:)

LOVE YOU LOTS ........
welcome
though i m depress lekin doosro ko toh mein cheer kar skti hoon
lvu

[animateash]

awesome Ash...
I Dont Have Words...
U've Given Me Immense Pleasure By Posting Those Jokes..
I Mean ...gr8 Work To Cheer Everybody....

thnx a lot ...lekin i m stilld epresed socha dosro ko toh cheer karooo

lvu ash

[animateash]

hey amit bhaiya awesoem jokes

lvua sh

[amit@bitspilani]

hey amit bhaiya awesoem jokes

lvua sh
.....THANX...
MY LIL SIS........

[animateash]

.....THANX...
MY LIL SIS........
welcme

luv ash

[style_ashitia]

hey aashni and amit i really feel nice wen u both write those bhai behen posts!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[animateash]

hey aashni and amit i really feel nice wen u both write those bhai behen posts!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hey athxn a lot

luv ash

[divyaashimix]

hey aashni and amit i really feel nice wen u both write those bhai behen posts!!!!!!!!!!!!!
seriously...
great emmotions..........:)

[amit@bitspilani]

hey aashni and amit i really feel nice wen u both write those bhai behen posts!!!!!!!!!!!!!
..HEY BHAGGU.......

THANX TO U AND DIVYA

[divyaashimix]

..HEY BHAGGU.......

THANX TO U AND DIVYA
thats okey amit.....:)
you are trying your best to cheer us all.............
infact, you are the only guy active member............

[amit@bitspilani]

thats okey amit.....:)
you are trying your best to cheer us all.............
infact, you are the only guy active member............
THANX A LOT DIVYA.....

[amit@bitspilani]

.
Santa Proposed To A Girl:"main Tumse.........."
Girl:"tameez Se Baat Karo"
Santa:behenji Main Aapse Shadi Karna Chahta Hoon....

[amit@bitspilani]

a Man Asks A Sardar:akal Badi Ki Bhains...?

Sardarji Ne Pagadi Hilai & He Thought N Thought N Thought N Thought N Then Replied..:oye Khote..pehle Date Of Birth To Bata.....

[animateash]

seriously...
great emmotions..........:)
hey tahn a lot

lvua sh

[animateash]

thats okey amit.....:)
you are trying your best to cheer us all.............
infact, you are the only guy active member............
yeahh ia gree

lvua sh

[animateash]

hey amit awsoem jokes

lvu ash

[animateash]

Today's Joke: Why Indians Can't be Terrorists
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. We are always late we would have missed the flight.

2. Pretty girls on the plane would distract us!

3. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves.

4. With food and drinks on the plane, we would forget why we're there.

5. We talk with our hands, therefore we would have to put our weapons
down.

6. We would ALL want to fly the plane.

7. We would argue and start a fight in the plane.

8. We can't keep a secret, we would have told everyone a week before
doing it.

9. We would have put our country's flag on the windshield.

10. We would all have fallen over each other to be in the photograph
being taken by one of the hostages.

[animateash]

A dad is on his way home a bit late from the office
when he realizes
that it's his daughter's birthday and he has not
bought her a gift.
So he stops at a toy store to buy his daughter a
Barbie.
Inside he sees a Barbie display and asks the salesgirl
how much the Barbies are.

The girl responds: "Which one? We have:

Gymnasium Barbie: $19.95
Volleyball Barbie: $19.95
Shopping Barbie: $19.95
Surfer Barbie: $19.95
Disco Barbie: $19.95
and Divorced Barbie: $299.95

Shocked, the man asks, "Why is Divorced Barbie
$299.95, but the others are $19.95?"

Exasperated, the girl responds:

"Sir, Divorced Barbie comes with":
Ken's Car
Ken's House
Ken's Boat
Ken's furniture
Ken's jewelry
Ken's money
Ken's computer, and
Ken's best friend...

[animateash]

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?
> ( 1 ) You got to find somebody who likes the same
stuff. Like, if you
>like sports, she should
>like it that you like sports, and she should keep the
chips and dip
>coming. -- Alan, age 10
>
> ( 2 ) No person really decides before they grow up
who they're going to
>marry. God decides it all,
>way before, and you get to find out later who
you're stuck with. --
>Kirsten, age 10 (my favourite)

[animateash]

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
> ( 1 ) Twenty-three is the best age because you know
the person FOREVER
>by then. -- Camille, age 10
>
> ( 2 ) No age is good to get married at. You got to
be a fool to get
>married. -- Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age.)

[animateash]

( 1 ) Dates are for having fun, and people should
use them to get to know
> each other. Even boys
>have something to say if you listen long enough. --
Lynnette, age 8 (isn't
>she a treasure?)
>
> ( 2 ) On the first date, they just tell each other
lies and that usually
>gets them interested
>enough to go for a second date. -- Martin, age 10
(wise beyond his years.)

[evilseye]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Grt jokes ash!!!
Even ive got one.............
Rakhi sawant to skin specialist:Doctor main nahate wakt kya lagaon??
Doc:Bathroom ki kundi.........!!!!:D
Luv
Sur

[animateash]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Grt jokes ash!!!
Even ive got one.............
Rakhi sawant to skin specialist:Doctor main nahate wakt kya lagaon??
Doc:Bathroom ki kundi.........!!!!:D
Luv
Sur
welcome and dis oenw as 2 gud

lvua sh

[animateash]

much see dis

http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g175/ashili/image5.gif

luv ash

[amit@bitspilani]

hey amit awsoem jokes

lvu ash
THANX A LOT..

WELL I READ UR JOKES TOO...
THEY WERE SO FUNNY....

[animateash]

THANX A LOT..

WELL I READ UR JOKES TOO...
THEY WERE SO FUNNY....
thanx alot

luv ash

[amit@bitspilani]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Grt jokes ash!!!
Even ive got one.............
Rakhi sawant to skin specialist:Doctor main nahate wakt kya lagaon??
Doc:Bathroom ki kundi.........!!!!:D
Luv
Sur
REALLY FUNNY ..YAAR
CANT HELP LAUGHING...

[amit@bitspilani]

much see dis

http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g175/ashili/image5.gif

luv ash
.BHAGGU.......
THIS IS REALLY CUTE AND FUNNY AS WELL...

[animateash]

.BHAGGU.......
THIS IS REALLY CUTE AND FUNNY AS WELL...
thanx alot

luv ash

[divyaashimix]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Grt jokes ash!!!
Even ive got one.............
Rakhi sawant to skin specialist:Doctor main nahate wakt kya lagaon??
Doc:Bathroom ki kundi.........!!!!:D
Luv
Sur
hey EVE..
this was indeed a kool one.....
even MUM liked it a lot......:)

[luckysd]

Hey guys cheak dese out
Q. RAM SITA HAI .. TO RAM KAUN HAI ??
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Ans - . TAILOR ( darzi )
Q. Ques - .SITA RAM HAI TO SITA KAUN HAI
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Sita MEMORY hai (RAM: Random Access Memory)
Q- Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of
pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar.
why ?? why ?? :-)
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Tendulkar is an opener
Q. The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie 'heart is umbrella'.
Which movie did he really want to see?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Dil Chhata Hai!
7 . Q: Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main
nahi?
?
?
Socho socho
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!
8. What will! u call a person who is leaving India??
?
?
Socho...............
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Hindustan Lever (Leaver).
9. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya
tha.....................................?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Answer) adidas
10. Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes a well. Luv
falls into the well. Why ?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Because Luv is blind!!!!!
Now Kush also jumps inside. Why?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
OK lot's of head scratching done.
Answer is... Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!

k aurrrrrrrrrr
agar mohan ki saas k naam champa hain to uski bahu ka naam kya hain.......
socho socho'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
''

'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'.............
.............
answer is champa
kyunki saas bi kabhi bahu thiiiiiiiiii............

[divyaashimix]

Kool one LUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)

[amit@bitspilani]

Hey guys cheak dese out
Q. RAM SITA HAI .. TO RAM KAUN HAI ??
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Ans - . TAILOR ( darzi )
Q. Ques - .SITA RAM HAI TO SITA KAUN HAI
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Sita MEMORY hai (RAM: Random Access Memory)
Q- Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of
pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar.
why ?? why ?? :-)
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Tendulkar is an opener
Q. The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie 'heart is umbrella'.
Which movie did he really want to see?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Dil Chhata Hai!
7 . Q: Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main
nahi?
?
?
Socho socho
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!
8. What will! u call a person who is leaving India??
?
?
Socho...............
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Hindustan Lever (Leaver).
9. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya
tha.....................................?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Answer) adidas
10. Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes a well. Luv
falls into the well. Why ?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Because Luv is blind!!!!!
Now Kush also jumps inside. Why?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
OK lot's of head scratching done.
Answer is... Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!

k aurrrrrrrrrr
agar mohan ki saas k naam champa hain to uski bahu ka naam kya hain.......
socho socho'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
''

'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'.............
.............
answer is champa
kyunki saas bi kabhi bahu thiiiiiiiiii............


can't help laughing.
awesome
i fell down laughing .....

[animateash]

Hey guys cheak dese out
Q. RAM SITA HAI .. TO RAM KAUN HAI ??
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Ans - . TAILOR ( darzi )
Q. Ques - .SITA RAM HAI TO SITA KAUN HAI
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Sita MEMORY hai (RAM: Random Access Memory)
Q- Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of
pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar.
why ?? why ?? :-)
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Tendulkar is an opener
Q. The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie 'heart is umbrella'.
Which movie did he really want to see?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Dil Chhata Hai!
7 . Q: Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main
nahi?
?
?
Socho socho
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!
8. What will! u call a person who is leaving India??
?
?
Socho...............
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Hindustan Lever (Leaver).
9. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya
tha.....................................?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Answer) adidas
10. Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes a well. Luv
falls into the well. Why ?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Because Luv is blind!!!!!
Now Kush also jumps inside. Why?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
OK lot's of head scratching done.
Answer is... Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!

k aurrrrrrrrrr
agar mohan ki saas k naam champa hain to uski bahu ka naam kya hain.......
socho socho'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
''

'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'.............
.............
answer is champa
kyunki saas bi kabhi bahu thiiiiiiiiii............




hey cool one

lvu ash

[luckysd]

hey thanx divu, amit and ash

[luckysd]

4 all teenagers out dere
A Teenager is...

A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number.

A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast.

A youngster who receives his/her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows from his/her best friend on Wednesday.

Someone who can hear a song by Madonna played three blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room.

A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can't make a bed.

A student who will spend 12 minutes studying for her history exam and 12 hours for her driver's license.

A youngster who is well informed about anything he doesn't have to study.

An enthusiast who has the energy to ride a bike for miles, but is usually too tired to dry the dishes.

A connoisseur of two kinds of fine music: Loud and Very Loud.

A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates her brother.

A person who is always late for dinner but always on time for a rock concert.

A romantic who never falls in love more than once a week.

A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces come off.

A boy who can sleep until noon on any Saturday when he suspects the lawn needs mowing.

An original thinker who is positive that her mother was never a teenager.

this is a teenager except me...

[style_ashitia]

4 all teenagers out dere
A Teenager is...

A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number.

A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast.

A youngster who receives his/her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows from his/her best friend on Wednesday.

Someone who can hear a song by Madonna played three blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room.

A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can't make a bed.

A student who will spend 12 minutes studying for her history exam and 12 hours for her driver's license.

A youngster who is well informed about anything he doesn't have to study.

An enthusiast who has the energy to ride a bike for miles, but is usually too tired to dry the dishes.

A connoisseur of two kinds of fine music: Loud and Very Loud.

A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates her brother.

A person who is always late for dinner but always on time for a rock concert.

A romantic who never falls in love more than once a week.

A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces come off.

A boy who can sleep until noon on any Saturday when he suspects the lawn needs mowing.

An original thinker who is positive that her mother was never a teenager.

this is a teenager except me...
hey saakshi damn gud yaar!!!!!!!!!

[luckysd]

hey saakshi damn gud yaar!!!!!!!!!
thanx ruhi....plz call me lucky as i like my nick name more than my my real name

[style_ashitia]

ya i'll surely call u lucky!!!!!!!!!!!

[amit@bitspilani]

4 all teenagers out dere
A Teenager is...

A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number.

A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast.

A youngster who receives his/her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows from his/her best friend on Wednesday.

Someone who can hear a song by Madonna played three blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room.

A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can't make a bed.

A student who will spend 12 minutes studying for her history exam and 12 hours for her driver's license.

A youngster who is well informed about anything he doesn't have to study.

An enthusiast who has the energy to ride a bike for miles, but is usually too tired to dry the dishes.

A connoisseur of two kinds of fine music: Loud and Very Loud.

A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates her brother.

A person who is always late for dinner but always on time for a rock concert.

A romantic who never falls in love more than once a week.

A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces come off.

A boy who can sleep until noon on any Saturday when he suspects the lawn needs mowing.

An original thinker who is positive that her mother was never a teenager.

this is a teenager except me...


gud going lucky....

now i frm me...

1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.......!!!!

[style_ashitia]

gud going lucky....

now i frm me...

1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.......!!!!
hey amit gud oen yaar

[amit@bitspilani]

hey amit gud oen yaar
.thanx ruhi....

[style_ashitia]

here's oen guyz!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Things You Wouldn't Know Without Movies

-It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it''''s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

-Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.


hope u like it!!!!!!!!!!!

[animateash]

ruhi and sakshi awseoem

lvua sh

[divyaashimix]

HEY RUHI....
THAT WAS INDEED A KOOL ONE.....
AND FUN N MASTI FOR ME IS T NOW THIS FORUM ITSELF............
COLLEGE MEIN TOH ALL THE CHIPMUNKS ARE THERE...........:mad: :mad:

[style_ashitia]

hey ash anddivs tahnx alot!

[divyaashimix]

hey ash anddivs tahnx alot!
your welcome........:D

[style_ashitia]

here's oen more!!!!!!!!!!


A little rabbit is running happily through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint.
The rabbit looks at the giraffe and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come. Run with me through the forest! You''ll feel so much better!"

The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit. Then they come across an elephant doing coke.

So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come. Run with us through the pretty forest, you''ll see, you''ll feel so good!"

The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and coke, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe. The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up.

"Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come. Run with us through the beautiful forest and you''ll feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and mauls the rabbit.

The giraffe and elephant watch in horror and look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this? He was merely trying to help you."

The lion answers, "That little bastard! He makes me run around the forest like a f**king idiot every time he's on ecstasy!"

hope u liked it!!!!!!!!

[style_ashitia]

here's oen more !!!!!!!!!!!



as narrated to someone!!!!!!!!!!!

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of brick left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which, fortunately, was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the brick into it. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tight to insure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note, in block number 11 of the accident reporting form, that I weigh 135 pounds.

Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming down. This explains the fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground, and the bottom broke out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately fifty pounds.

I refer you again to my weight in the accident reporting form, block number 11.
As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounted for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations on my legs and lower body.

The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks, and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the bricks in pain, unable to stand, and watching the empty barrel six stories above me...I again lost my presence of mind...and let go of the rope!

[luckysd]

gud going lucky....

now i frm me...

1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.......!!!!
hey thanx amit and ur posts r realy cool

[luckysd]

hey guys check this one

Think of a letter between
A and W.





Repeat it
out loud as
you scroll down.







Keep going . . .
Don't stop . . ..








Think of an
animal
that begins
with that letter.








Repeat it
out loud
as you
scroll down.








Think of
either a man's/woman's
name
that
begins
with the
last letter
in the
animals name








Almost
there........








Now
count out
the letters
in that name
on the fingers
of the hand
you are not
using to
scroll down.







Take the hand you
counted with
and hold it out
in front of you
at face level
.................






Look at your
palm
very closely
and
notice
the
lines
in
your
hand
.................



Do the lines
take the
form of the
first letter
in the
persons name?
.................








Of course not.......



Now smack
yourself in the head, get a life,
and
quit playing
stupid
e-mail games!

[devilish angel]

hey ruhi n lucky!!
kool ones yaar!!!

[animateash]

HEY RUHI....
THAT WAS INDEED A KOOL ONE.....
AND FUN N MASTI FOR ME IS T NOW THIS FORUM ITSELF............
COLLEGE MEIN TOH ALL THE CHIPMUNKS ARE THERE...........:mad: :mad:
yeahh xcalt fun masti sab kcuh yeh forum hai

lvu ash

[animateash]

hey ash anddivs tahnx alot!
hey welcome re

luv ash

[animateash]

hey ruhi nd lucky awesoem ones

luv ash

[style_ashitia]

hey ruhi nd lucky awesoem ones

luv ash
thanx a lot!!!!!!!!!

[animateash]

thanx a lot!!!!!!!!!
hey welcome

lvu ash

[divyaashimix]

thanx a lot!!!!!!!!!
Hey RUHI...
awesome siggy..
typical TIYA AHUJA STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!:D

[style_ashitia]

Hey RUHI...
awesome siggy..
typical TIYA AHUJA STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!:D
tahnx!!!!!!!

[animateash]

Hey RUHI...
awesome siggy..
typical TIYA AHUJA STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!:D
yeahh typical tia ahuja stlye pefect divu
pertfect bola

lvu ash

[style_ashitia]

yeahh typical tia ahuja stlye pefect divu
pertfect bola

lvu ash
aakhir tia ki fan hoon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[animateash]

aakhir tia ki fan hoon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ha ah aakhri tia fan hona koi aisi vaisi baat nhai:D

lvu ash

[style_ashitia]

ha ah aakhri tia fan hona koi aisi vaisi baat nhai:D

lvu ash
ay ay true!!!!!!!

[animateash]

RIDDLE THAT'LL agitate irritate you!

This is going to make you so MAD! There are three words
in the English language that end in "gry". ONE is angry and the other is
hungry. EveryONE knows what the third ONE means and what it stands for.

EveryONE uses them everyday, and if you listened very carefully, I've
given
you the third word. What is it? _______gry?

[animateash]

A Patel family in gujarat was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother arrived from the US. It was sent by one of the

daughters. The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it When they opened the lid , they found a letter on top, which read:

Dear brothers and sisters, I am sending our mother's body to you, since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the

compound of our ancestral home in GUJARAT. Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave are all consumed.

You will find inside the coffin, under Ba's body, 12 cans of cheese, 10 packets of chocolates and 8 packets of Badam.

Please divide these among all of you. On Ba's feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes(size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha's and Lakshmi's sons. Hope the sizes are correct. Ba is wearing 6 American T-Shirts.The large size is for Mohan. Just distribute them among yourselves.

The 2 new Jeans that Ba's is wearing are for the boys. The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba's left wrist.

Shanta Aunty, Ba is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them off her. The 6 white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided among my teenager nephews.

Please distribute all these uniformly and if anything more required let me know as Bapa is also not feeling too well nowadays...

[luckysd]

hey guys dese r sum jokes 4 u all
Teacher:"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask aquestion in english,answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight."

Ques - What is the chief cause of Population Growth?
Answer – The chief cause is that evre1 is trying to give birth to that person who can solve the problem of population.


Santa:Yaar mein apni girlfriend ko kya gift du?Banta:Gold ring de de.Santa:Koi badi cheez bata.Banta:MRF ka tyre dede.


INTERVIEWER:HOW DOES AN ELECTRIC MOTOR RUN???
SARDARJI:TORRRRRRRR........


A young man's mother was now living in Miami Beach and he didn't see her that often. His father was no longer around and he was worried that his mom was lonely. For her birthday, he purchased a rare parrot, trained to speak seven languages. He had a courier deliver the bird to his dear mother. A few days later, he called.

"Ma, what do you think of the bird?"

"The bird was good, but a little tough. I should have cooked it longer."

"You ate the bird? Ma, the bird was very expensive. It spoke seven languages!"

"Oh, excuse me. But, if the bird was so smart, why didn't it say something when I put it in the oven?"


Once there were three people:
1. SOMEBODY

2. NOBODY

3. MAD

one day somebody kills nobody,mad sees this incident,so he calls a police and tells somebody killed nobody.

So the police says are you mad.

So the mad says yes sir i am mad how do you know?

[animateash]

hey guys dese r sum jokes 4 u all
Teacher:"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask aquestion in english,answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight."

Ques - What is the chief cause of Population Growth?
Answer – The chief cause is that evre1 is trying to give birth to that person who can solve the problem of population.


Santa:Yaar mein apni girlfriend ko kya gift du?Banta:Gold ring de de.Santa:Koi badi cheez bata.Banta:MRF ka tyre dede.


INTERVIEWER:HOW DOES AN ELECTRIC MOTOR RUN???
SARDARJI:TORRRRRRRR........


A young man's mother was now living in Miami Beach and he didn't see her that often. His father was no longer around and he was worried that his mom was lonely. For her birthday, he purchased a rare parrot, trained to speak seven languages. He had a courier deliver the bird to his dear mother. A few days later, he called.

"Ma, what do you think of the bird?"

"The bird was good, but a little tough. I should have cooked it longer."

"You ate the bird? Ma, the bird was very expensive. It spoke seven languages!"

"Oh, excuse me. But, if the bird was so smart, why didn't it say something when I put it in the oven?"


Once there were three people:
1. SOMEBODY

2. NOBODY

3. MAD

one day somebody kills nobody,mad sees this incident,so he calls a police and tells somebody killed nobody.

So the police says are you mad.

So the mad says yes sir i am mad how do you know?


gud one

luv ash

[evilseye]

Hey gud ones lucky!!But ash!!Riddle ka ans kya hai!??
Luv
Sur

[animateash]

Hey gud ones lucky!!But ash!!Riddle ka ans kya hai!??
Luv
Sur
hey mujhe bhi nahi pata isliye toh yah post kiya lol jusr arck ur barins
:D :D
lvua sh

[tukz]

hey guys dese r sum jokes 4 u all
Teacher:"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask aquestion in english,answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight."

Ques - What is the chief cause of Population Growth?
Answer – The chief cause is that evre1 is trying to give birth to that person who can solve the problem of population.


Santa:Yaar mein apni girlfriend ko kya gift du?Banta:Gold ring de de.Santa:Koi badi cheez bata.Banta:MRF ka tyre dede.


INTERVIEWER:HOW DOES AN ELECTRIC MOTOR RUN???
SARDARJI:TORRRRRRRR........


A young man's mother was now living in Miami Beach and he didn't see her that often. His father was no longer around and he was worried that his mom was lonely. For her birthday, he purchased a rare parrot, trained to speak seven languages. He had a courier deliver the bird to his dear mother. A few days later, he called.

"Ma, what do you think of the bird?"

"The bird was good, but a little tough. I should have cooked it longer."

"You ate the bird? Ma, the bird was very expensive. It spoke seven languages!"

"Oh, excuse me. But, if the bird was so smart, why didn't it say something when I put it in the oven?"


Once there were three people:
1. SOMEBODY

2. NOBODY

3. MAD

one day somebody kills nobody,mad sees this incident,so he calls a police and tells somebody killed nobody.

So the police says are you mad.

So the mad says yes sir i am mad how do you know?
awesum 1 luckysd

[divyaashimix]

hey guys dese r sum jokes 4 u all
Teacher:"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask aquestion in english,answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight."

Ques - What is the chief cause of Population Growth?
Answer – The chief cause is that evre1 is trying to give birth to that person who can solve the problem of population.


Santa:Yaar mein apni girlfriend ko kya gift du?Banta:Gold ring de de.Santa:Koi badi cheez bata.Banta:MRF ka tyre dede.


INTERVIEWER:HOW DOES AN ELECTRIC MOTOR RUN???
SARDARJI:TORRRRRRRR........


A young man's mother was now living in Miami Beach and he didn't see her that often. His father was no longer around and he was worried that his mom was lonely. For her birthday, he purchased a rare parrot, trained to speak seven languages. He had a courier deliver the bird to his dear mother. A few days later, he called.

"Ma, what do you think of the bird?"

"The bird was good, but a little tough. I should have cooked it longer."

"You ate the bird? Ma, the bird was very expensive. It spoke seven languages!"

"Oh, excuse me. But, if the bird was so smart, why didn't it say something when I put it in the oven?"


Once there were three people:
1. SOMEBODY

2. NOBODY

3. MAD

one day somebody kills nobody,mad sees this incident,so he calls a police and tells somebody killed nobody.

So the police says are you mad.

So the mad says yes sir i am mad how do you know?

Hey LUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is seriously gr8 mann.............
simply rokkinggggggggggggg...............
I laughed a lottttttttt....................:D

[animateash]

Hey LUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is seriously gr8 mann.............
simply rokkinggggggggggggg...............
I laughed a lottttttttt....................:D
hey eyahh dam cool mere dekha

luv ash

[luckysd]

Hey LUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is seriously gr8 mann.............
simply rokkinggggggggggggg...............
I laughed a lottttttttt....................:D
hey thanx divu

[luckysd]

awesum 1 luckysd
hey thanx a lot

[luckysd]

Hey gud ones lucky!!But ash!!Riddle ka ans kya hai!??
Luv
Sur
hey thanx sur

[luckysd]

gud one

luv ash
hey thanx ash

[tukz]

Teacher tells a student a=b, b=c implies a=c. Tell me an example.
Student : I love u - u love your daughter - so I love your daughter.

Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage"
It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" o"shoot himself".


What is a girl friend?
Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies & division of friends.


A married man was asked to perform his SWOT (Strength, Weakness, Opportunity, Threat) Analysis.
He said, my strength is my wife.
My weakness is my neighbours wife.
Opportunity comes when neighbour goes out.
Threat comes when I myself go out


Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest
waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20
supersonic planes passing by can't be heard.

Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara
Falls?"

[tukz]

Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence ).



Marriage is love. Love is blind.
Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.



Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her masters.



A married life is full of excitement and frustrations. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOURS listen.



Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has...you wish you had ordered that instead.



There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced!



Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.



When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.



When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.



Marriage is a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.



At a cocktail party, one woman said to another...AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER?
The other replied, YES, I AM, I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.



A Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.



It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.



When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.

[tukz]

e-mail IDs of Indian Film stars

Bollywood

AbhishekBacchan: I_can_act_too@yuva.com

AmitabhBacchan: accept_any_role@after.kaunbanegacrorepati.tv

AnilKapoor: expert@copyingsouthindianmovies.com

SalmanKhan: why_do_I_always_get_into_trouble@needagirlfriend.c om

ShahRukhKhan: over_emotions@mostmovies.com

RamGopalVarma: same_formula@bombayunderworld.co.in

SunilShetty: hoping_to_be@indianarnold.com

AamirKhan: whats_up_with_the_hairstyle@mangalpande.com

AamirKhan(alternateaddress): married_or_not@toomanyaffairs.com

SaifAliKhan: goofy_roles@suitsmeperfect.com

HritikRoshan: main_aisa_kyon_hoon@howtheheckdoweknow.com

HritikRoshan(alternateaddress): main_aisa_kyon_hoon@askyourdad.com

AjayDevgan: finally_I_started_to_act@aftersomanyyears.com

BobbyDeol: noone_thinks_I_can_act@getanotherjob.com

Sunny Deol: He is still busy fighting Pakistani soldiers. Mail address is a secret.

Urmila: ramgopalvarma_has_forgotten_me@nomorerangeela.com

MallikaSherawat: I_dont_need_to_act@overexposureworks.com

AmishaPatel: Kaho_na_pyaar_hai@wasmyonlyhit.com

KareenaKapoor: oh_iam_so_cute_and_talented@nobodyelsethinksso.com

Raveena Tandon: waiting_for_third_umpire@stumped.com

[tukz]

1) If it takes twenty minutes to hard-boil one goose egg, how long will it take to hard-boil four goose eggs? e
20 minutes, 4 eggs can be boiled at the same time.
2) Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or No?
....Yes. It comes right after the 3rd.

3) Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?
.....Twelve (12). All of them have at least 28 days.
4) Can a man in California marry his widow's sister?
....No. He must be dead if it is his widow.

5) Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10.
What do you get?
..... Seventy (70). Thirty (30) divided by 1/2 is 6.

6) A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every half
an hour. How long will the pills last?
......One hour. If you take the first pill at 1:00, the second at
1:30, and the third at 2:00, the pills have run out and only one hour
has passed.

7) A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep are
left?
..... Nine (9). Like I said, all BUT nine die.

8) How many animals of each species did Moses have on the ark?
...... None. I didn't know that Moses had an ark.

9) A butcher in the market is 5' 10 tall. What does he weigh?
..... Meat ... that is self-explanatory.

[animateash]

hey tukz awesoem ones

lvua sh

[evilseye]

Hey tukz!!!Awesome man!!!Specially the bolly email one....Just grt!!!!!!!!!!!!
Luv
Sur

[animateash]

Amazing but true!!!



*Have a look......things you may not know....*

**

*1. Coca-Cola was originally green.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*2. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*3.The name of the entire continents end with the same letter
that they start with.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*4. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*5. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*6. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the
letters on one row of the keyboard.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*7. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!*

*----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*8. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*9. It is impossible to lick your elbow.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*10. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze,
your heart stops for a millisecond.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*11. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*12. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the
toughest tongue twister in the English language.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*13. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to
suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck
and die.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*14. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history.

*>Spades - King David*

*>Clubs - Alexander the Great,*

*>Hearts - Charlemagne*

*>Diamonds - Julius Caesar.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*15. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
(count out the answer)*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*16. If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs
in the air, the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result
of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has a all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural
causes.* <cool huh!!>

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*17 What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and
laser printers all have in common?
Answer - All invented by women.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*18. Question - This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is this?
Answer - Honey*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*19. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*20. A snail can sleep for three years.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*21. All polar bears are left handed.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*22. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive
from each salad served in first-class.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*23. Butterflies taste with their feet.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*24.Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*25.In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*26. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*27. Shakespeare invented the words 'assassination' and 'bump'.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*28. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*29. An ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*30. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*31. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps o squirt
blood 30 feet.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*32. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have
over a million descendants.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*33. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in
your ear by 700 times.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*34. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*35. Most lipstick contains fish scales.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*36. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*37. And finally 99% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.*
(Am I right? If so, reply back

[animateash]

Doctor Certified

Certified that Mr./Miss _________________ , working in your
organization, is suffering from 'time-bound' illness.

Due to this, he/she will NOT be able to work more than 8 hours a day
and 5 days a week. Any attempt to stretch beyond this timing will lead to
severe health problems. The losses to the company due to medical
reimbursements will be far more compared to the gains made by stretching
beyond 8 hours.

It is also warned to keep my patient away from any kind of shocking
news such as "Come over weekend..", "Let's work on holiday..", "Leave
cannot be granted.." etc. which can directly lead to heart strokes.

In view of the above, it is strongly recommended to adjust your
deadlines in accordance with the convenience of my patient.

Sd/-

Dr.

[animateash]

Kidnapping by a sardar... TOO GOOD!

There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck.
In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
Sardarji then wrote a note saying: "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put Rs.2,00,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the mango tree on the north side of the city playground".
Signed: "A Sardarji".

Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was kept beneath the mango tree.The boy was sitting next to the bag. Sardarji opened up the bag and found the Rs.2,00,000 in cash with a note saying:
"How can a sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji?
Take the money, and Please leave my son."

Signed: Another Sardarji

[animateash]

Today's Joke: Why do computers crash!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is
interrupted At a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your
floppy disk Abort,then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.


If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the
double-clicking Icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted
cause the index Doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and your
system's gonna crash!


If the label on the cable on the table at your house, says the network
is Connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to
tunnel to Another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down
the hall.


And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your
icons In the window are as wavy as a souse; then you may as well reboot
and go out With a bang, 'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna
hang.

[animateash]

Today's Joke: Men & Women
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man to his doctor friend: "What are the distinct symptoms by which
you pronounce a man and a woman dead, separately?"

"A man is declared dead when his heart ceases to beat and a woman when
her tongue ceases to move!"

~~~~~~~~
One More
~~~~~~~~

Women have a passion for mathematics.

They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and
always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.


~~~~~~~~~~~~
Visual Joke: The Salary Theorem
~~~~~~~~~~~~

http://www.funtoosh.com?dj.php?details=OFH~136

[tukz]

hey tukz awesoem ones

lvua sh

Hey tukz!!!Awesome man!!!Specially the bolly email one....Just grt!!!!!!!!!!!!
Luv
Sur
hey thnx both of u

[tukz]

hey ash ossom kip it up yaar

[tukz]

Ek Din Himmesh Reshammiya apne Damad Se milne jata hai


Knock Knock Knock

Damad: Kaun hai
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
...
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
...
..
...
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
...
..
..
..
Himmesh : Tera....... Tera........ Tera............. Sasoooooooooooor

[tukz]

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.

A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A "jiffy " is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years.

Al Capo NE's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Babies are born without kneecaps.

They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.


"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "MT".

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.

It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

"Stewardesses " is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of die! Sel that it burns.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the l! Azy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).


There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."


There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewable Vitamins.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.


Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.

O()O()O()O

[tukz]

This is a story about four people named
Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done,
and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.
Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about that
because it was Everybody's job.
Everybody thought Anybody could do it,
but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when
Nobody did what Anybody could have done


Now Tell me who have to work this????
lol:D

[tukz]

Strange-but-true
The average four year-old child asks over four hundred questions a day.


The average person presses the snooze button on their alarm clock three
Times each morning.


The three wealthiest families in the world have more assets than the
Combined wealth of the forty-eight poorest nations.


The first owner of the Marlboro cigarette Company died of lung cancer.



Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.


The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.


Our eyes remain the same size from birth onward, but our noses and ears
Never stop growing.


You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV.


A person will die from total lack of sleep sooner than from starvation.
Death will occur about 10 days without sleep, while starvation takes a
Few weeks.


Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.


The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows.


When the moon is directly overhead, you weigh slightly less.


Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, never telephoned
His wife or mother because they were both deaf.


A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a
Carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After
Weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an axe
Leaving her mentally retarded


"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.


Colgate faced a big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking
Countries because Colgate translates into the command "go hang
Yourself."


The smallest unit of time is the yoctosecond.


Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.


"Bookkeeper" is the only word in English language with three consecutive
Double letters.


Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed
People do.


The sentence "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every
Letter in the English language.


If the population of China walked past you in single line, the line
Would never end because of the rate of reproduction


China has more English speakers than the United States.


Every human spent about half an hour as a single cell.


Each square inch of human skin consists of twenty feet of blood vessels.


An average person uses the bathroom 6 times per day.


Babies are born with 300 bones, but by adulthood we have only 206 in our
Bodies.


Beards are the fastest growing hairs on the human body. If the average
Man never trimmed his beard, it would grow to nearly 30 feet long in his
Lifetime.


According to Genesis 1:20-22, the chicken came before the egg.


The longest place name still in use is:
Taumatawhakatangihangaoauauotameteaturi-
Pukakpikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu - a New Zealand hill.


If you leave Tokyo by plane at 7:00am, you will arrive in Honolulu at
Approximately 4:30pm the previous day.


Scientists in Australia's Parkes Observatory thought they had positive
Proof of alien life, when they began picking up radio-waves from space.
However, after investigation, the radio emissions were traced to a
Microwave in the building.

[tukz]

There are 5 houses in 5 different colours. In each house lives a person of a different nationality. The 5 owners drink a certain type of beverage, smoke a certain brand of cigar, and keep a certain pet. Using the clues below can you determine who owns the fish?

The Brit lives in a red house.
The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
The Dane drinks tea.
The green house is on the immediate left of the white house.
The green house owner drinks coffee.
The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.
The man living in the house right in the middle drinks milk.
The Norwegian lives in the first house.
The man who smokes Blend lives next door to the one who keeps cats.
The man who keeps horses lives next door to the man who smokes Dunhill.
The owner who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.
The German smokes Prince.
The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
The man who smokes Blend has a neighbour who drinks water.

wel i myslf dunno d ans

[tukz]

1. What progra mm ing language is GOOGLE developed in?

2. What is the expansion of YAHOO?

3. What is the expansion of ADIDAS?

4. Expansion of Star as in Star TV Network?

5. What is expansion of "ICICI?"

6. What does "baker's dozen" signify?

7. The 1984-85 season. 2nd ODI between India and Pakistan at Sialkot-
India
210/3 with Vengsarkar 94*. Match abandoned. Why?

8. Who is the only man to have written the National Anthe ms for two
different countries?

9. From what four word ex-pression does the word `goodbye` derive?

10. How was Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu better known?

11. Na me the only other country to have got independence on Aug 15th?

12. Why was Jam es Bond Associated with the Num ber 007?

13. Who faced the first ball in the first ever One day m atch?

14. Which cricketer played for South Africa before it was banned from
international cricket and later represented Zi mbabwe ?

15. The faces of which four Presidents are carved at Mt.Rushm ore?

16. Which is the only country that is surrounded fro m all sides by only
one country (other than Vatican )?

17. Which is the only sport which is not allowed to play left handed?

...

...

...

...

...


...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Answers


1. Google is written in Asynchronous java-script and XML, or its acronym
Ajax .

2. Yet Another Hierarchy of Officious Oracle

3. ADIDAS- All Day I Drea m About Sports

4. Satellite Television Asian Region

5. Industrial credit and Invest ments Corporation of India

6. A baker's dozen consists of 13 item s - 1 m ore than the item s in a
nor mal dozen

7. That match was abandoned after ppl heard the news of indira gandhi
being killed.

8. Rabindranath Tagore who wrote national anthe m for two different
countries one is our 's National anthem and another one is for
Bangladesh- (Am ar Sonar
Bangla)

9. Goodbye co mes fro m the ex-pression: 'god be with you'.

10. Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu is none other Mother Teresa.

11. South Korea .

12. Because 007 is the ISD code for Russia (or the USSR , as it was known
during the cold war)

13. Geoffrey Boycott

14. John Traicos

15. George Washington, Tho mas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraha m
Lincoln

16. Lesotho surrounded fro m all sides by South Africa.

17. Polo.

[tukz]

A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss.
Do u know what the business was?
. . . .. . .. . . .. . . He opened a Saloon in
Punjab!.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

A sardarji photographer focusing a dead body's face
in a funeral function, suddenly all relatives beat
him why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Sardarji gets ready, wears tie, coat, goes out,
climbs tree, and sits on the branch regularly. A man
asks why he does this.
Sardarji: "I've been promoted as branch manager."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Why is a Sardarji standing below a tube light with a
open mouth.................
Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner
should be light"

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Sardar & family go to a party. He introduces himself
- I am Sardar Banta Singh. Meet my wife Sardarnee
Preeti Singh, the boy ...my kid & the girl my
kidney....

---------------------------------------------------------------------

One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to
his college.
U know Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper
is leaking...

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult
question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

A teacher told all students in a class to write an
essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing
except one Sardarji.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This
Packet
Sardar: - why did u come so far. Instead u could
have posted it....

---------------------------------------------------------------------

A Sardar & his wife filed an application for
Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Sardar's wish: when i die, i wana die like my
grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not
screaming like all d passengers in d car he was
driving..

---------------------------------------------------------------------

A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after
every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- We must find & stop her!.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes
walking at evening not in the morning. Sardarji
replied
''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.
Sardarji goes 2 china 2 find meaning of friends last
words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON the OXGN TUBE!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with
his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing.
He said-I am seeing how i look while sleeping.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before
taking it? Guess what...
To avoid side effect!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Man: Sardarji where were u born?
Sardarji: Punjab.
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body
is born in punjab".

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lawyer to Sardar: Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke
Sardar :yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court me
bulaiya. ab fir gita pe haath.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Sardar saw a beautiful girl... he went and kissed
her....
Girl said- "What r u doing...?"
Sardar said- B.COM from Khalsa college, Chandigar

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing
me.
I don't know how she got my no, She interrupts
whenever I call someone and says "please recharge
your card"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

A person went into the office kitchen one morning
and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was
wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why
she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an
overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For
best results put on two coats"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

A sardar was drawing money from ATM, The sardar
behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've
seen ur password.
Its 4 asterisks (****).
The first sardar replies, Ha! Ha! Haaa! U r wrong,
Its 1258

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q:) How do u recognize a sardar in school or
college???
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when
the teacher erases the blackboard... BOLO tarara!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?
A:) Because he wanted to measure how long he has
slept........

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Santa Singh MBBS
After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his
own practice.
He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the
Tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch.
Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!

[divyaashimix]

Hey bhaggu TUKZZZZZ................
all the facts are mind blowing.........
seriously I came to knnow many things that I didn't knew before................
Kool ones...........:D :D :D :D

[evilseye]

Hey tukz!!Awesome facts yaar!!!N the jokes were hilarious!!!!!!!!
Luv
Sur

[evilseye]

Ok one 4m my side!!!!!!
A primary class teacher handed her class the first part of well known proverbs n asked them to fill the rest.Wat was the result?Some of the new ones make more sense than the original ones!!!!!!!
-Dont bite the hand that............................looks dirty!!!!
-You cant teach an old dog new........................Math
-If u lie down with the dogs,ull.....................Stink in the morning
-A penny saved is...............................not too much
-Laugh n the world laughs with u;cry n..................u hane to blow ur nose alone
-Children should be seen n not....................grounded
When the blind lead the blind..................get out of the way

Luv
Sur

[animateash]

hey ash ossom kip it up yaar
tahxn a lto

luv ash

[animateash]

hey tukz awesoem 1

oekif rendz mere jokes dekhe jo meine post kiya on previous page plz ahve a luk u will luv it

lvu ash

[tukz]

thnx ash n divya n pari luved d proverbs..awesome

[tukz]

Strange Beggar

Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome. One has a cross in front of him; the other one the Star of David. Many people go by and look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross. A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar behind the cross, but none give to the beggar behind the Star of David. Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says, "My poor fellow, don't you understand?? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seed of Catholicism. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite."
The beggar behind the 'Star of David' listened to the priest, turned to the other beggar with the cross and said: "Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing."



Memory Problems

Three elderly ladies were discussing the trials of getting older.

One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich."

The second lady chimed in, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down."

The third one responded, "Well, I'm glad I don't have that problem; knock on wood," she raps her knuckles on the table, then says, "That must be the door, I'll get it."

Bringing the Dead

George went on a vacation to the Middle East with his family, including his mother-in-law. During their vacation in Jerusalem, George's mother-in-law died. With the death certificate in his hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the United States for a proper burial. The Consul told George that to send the body back to the United States for burial is very, very expensive. It could cost him as much as $5, 000.00. The Consul told him, in most cases the person responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the body here in Jerusalem. This would only cost him $150.00. George thinks for some time and answers, "I don't care how much it will cost to send the body back, that's what I want to do." The Consul says, "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much considering the difference in price". "No, it's not that," says George.
"You see, I know of a case many, many years ago of a man that was buried here in Jerusalem. On the third day he arose from the dead! I just can't take that chance!

[tukz]

4 husbands were sitting at the waiting room in a
hospital waiting for their wives to give birth.

Soon, a nurse came out from the delivery room and told
the first daddy:"Congratulations, you've twins!".

"Oh!..... maybe it's just a coincidence" said the
daddy,"as I'm working at the Petronas Twin Towers".

Then another nurse came out of the room and told the
second daddy:"Congratulations, you've triplets!"

"Wooow!, this is a coincidence,too" said the second
daddy."I am working for 3M Corporation".

A while later, another nurse appeared and told the
third daddy: "Congratulations! your wife got
quadruplets"

"Thanks God. Perhaps this is also a coincidence"."I
work at Four Seasons Hotel!".

Meanwhile, the fourth daddy-to-be was becoming very
worried.

All the 3 daddies asked him: "Why do you look so
worried?".He answered, "...uhmmm.... I'm working at
Seven-Eleven!"

|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|==== |====|
Two Sardars were walking together...

Pehla: Oye marr gaye. Meri biwi aur meri premika ek
saath aa rahi hain..

Dusra: Oye main bhi yahi bolne wala tha....
|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|==== |====|

"Help.... the Titanic is going to be drowned...."
Everybody in the ship is shouting, crying, running or
praying to God...
Just then a Italian asks the nearby Sardarji in the
ship.
Italian : How far is land, from here ?
Sardarji : Two miles .
Italian : Only two miles, Then why are these fools
making noise.
I have got the experience of swimming even more.
The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and comes
up to the layer to ask something again.
Italian : Just tell me which side, is land two miles
from here ?
Sardarji : Downwards... !!
|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|==== |====|

Two Sardars went into a pub and after ordering two
beers took some sandwiches out of their pockets and
started to eat them.
"You can't eat your own sandwiches in here,"
complained the pub-owner.
So the two sardars swapped (exchanged) their
sandwiches.

|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|==== |====|
A sardar was very fond of sensational and detective
novels,but he always started reading from the middle.
A friend of his asked why he did so?"
It'z doubly interesting", said the Sardar. "TO start
from the middle keeps one curious not only about its
conclusion but also about its beginning
|====|===|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|====| ====|

Once a Sardarji was going to his office.
On the way he slipped on a banana peel and was badly
hurt.
Next day , on his way to the office, he noticed a
banana peel and Later after two days, he noticed two
banana peels and exclaimed" ari sala, aaj to choice
hai"!!!!!!

|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|==== |====|

A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the
pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were
in effect due to the advances in education on earth.
In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly
soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?

The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are
Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and
Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected,
so your answer is correct. But how did you get only 12
seconds in a year?"
The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,
March 2nd, etc...."
Saint Peter lets him in without another word
|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|==== |====|

Q. What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus?
A. Moti-vating..!!!

|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|==== |====|

Nurse - "Mubarak ho.. Sardarji.. aap papa ban gaye.."
Sardarji - " Meri wife ko nahi bolna.. main use
surprise doonga..!"
|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|==== |====|

Dr Chopra psychotherapist wanted 'Sign board' to be
pained in front of his clinic but our Sardar painter
painted "Dr Chorpa Psycho The Rapist"

|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|====|==== |====|

What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE .........
Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai......

Doosari bigadati hai to "SHUROO' ho jati hai

================================================== ====

Ek sardar apne bete se bola : Bevakuf, kaisa machis
leke aaya hai, ek bhi tili nahin jalti.

Beta : Kya baat karte ho papa, sab tili test karke
laya hu.
================================================== ====

Man runs home yelling "Pack your bags honey. I just
won the 10 Million lotto.

Wife : Do I pack for the beach or mountains ?

Man : Who cares ? Just pack and get lost !

================================================== ===========

Doctor to Sardaar : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood
group ek hi hai?

Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25 saalse mera khoon jo
pee rahi hai....

================================================== ==========

A two seater plane crashed in a graveyard in Punjab
today........

Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are
still..... digging for more.

[evilseye]

Hey tukz!!Gud ones!!!
Luv
Sur

[tukz]

Multiply of 37 by multiplies of 3:

3 x 37 = 111
6 x 37 = 222
9 x 37 = 333
12 x 37 = 444
15 x 37 = 555
18 x 37 = 666
21 x 37 = 777
24 x 37 = 888
27 x 37 = 999
Nice one:

111.111.111 x 111.111.111 = 12.345.678.987.654.321

Trapeze:

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111

another Trapeze:

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

and another one:

0 x 9 + 8 = 8
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
987654321 x 9 - 1 = 8888888888
9876543210 x 9 - 2 = 88888888888

[tukz]

A Sardarji and a Bengali, both suffering from serious diseases,share the same room in a hospital.


They are taken violently ill and they cannot even utter a word.


After a few days of living together, the Bengali gets really bored and wants to start off a conversation with his fellow patient. He realizes that he has not enough energy left to say a sentence; instead he just attempts to say a word.


After much effort he turns to the Sardarji, points his finger towards himself and says "Bengali".


Sardarji doesn't want to let the poor Bengali down who has struggled so hard to start a conversation. Sardarji musters all his energy and says "Punjabi" gesturing the same way as Bengali did.


Bengali is happy now and wants to continue the conversation. After much more effort this time he says, again pointing his finger towards himself Sharath Bose."


Sardarji after some effort says "Devindar Singh". Bengali is even happier that they now know each other's names.


After some time, Bengali turns towards Sardarji and mustering all his energy says "Cancer" - - again doing the same gesture as before.

[tukz]

Hey tukz!!Gud ones!!!
Luv
Sur
thnx a lot

[tukz]

There are three houses one is red ,one is blue and one is white. If
the red house is at the left of the house in the middle and the blue
house is to the right to the house in the middle, Where is the white
house?
Think !!!




THINK





THINK







You said " White house is at the middle " ??????
No !!!
White house is in Washington DC

[tukz]

After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments,
Banta Singh and his wife Preeto decided the only way to save their
marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each others throats for some
time and felt that this was their last straw.

When they arrived at the counselor's
office, the counselor jumped right
in and opened the floor for discussion.

"What seems to be the problem?"

Immediately, Banta held his long face down without anything to say. On
the other hand, Preeto began talking 90 miles an hour describing all
the wrongs within their marriage.

After 10 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to
her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for several
minutes, and sat her back down.

Afterwards, Preeto sat there - speechless. He looked over at Banta who

was staring in disbelief at what had happened.

The counselor spoke to Banta, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a
week!"

Banta scratched his head and replied, "I can have her here on
Wednesdays and
Saturdays."

[tukz]

This is a love letter from a boy to a girl....
However, the girl s father does not like him and want them to stop their relationship...... and so.. The boy wrote this letter to the girl.. he knows that the girl s father will definitely read this letter..

1 "The great love that I have for you
2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3 grows every day. When I see you,
4 I do not even like your face;
5 the one thing that I want to do is to
6 look at other girls. I never wanted to
7 marry you. Our last conversation
8 was very boring and has not
9 made me look forward to seeing you again.
10 You think only of yourself.
11 If we were married, I know that I would find
12 life very difficult, and I would have no
13 pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14 to give, but it is not something that
15 I want to give to you. No one is more
16 foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
17 able to care for me and help me.
18 I sincerely want you to understand that
19 I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20 if you think this is the end. Do not try
21 to answer this. Your letters are full of
22 things that do not interest me. You have no
23 true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
24 I do not care for you. Please do not think that
25 I am still your boyfriend."

So bad!! However, before handing over the letter to
the girl, the boy told the girl to " READ BETWEEN THE LINES", meaning-only to read 1.3.5.7.9.11.13 (Odd No. s) go read it once again but
the Odd Number lines ....

[tukz]

1.Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.
2. Doctor: your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you.

3. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray,
"Take only one. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

4. What are the three fastest ways of communication?
Three fastest means of communication in the world.
Tele-phone
Tele-vision
Tell-a-woman.
You still want faster?
(Tell her not to tell anyone )

[tukz]

One Sardar fed up with all Sardar scenarios and went to doctor. He asked doctor to put 1 Kg of brain in his head.
He asked about the cost. Doctor asked him whose brain it shoud be? It depends on that.

Doctor explaining about brain cost
"If Engineers Brain - Rs. 1000 per gram"
"If Doctors Brain - Rs. 1200 per gram"
"If Lawyers Brain - Rs. 2000 per gram"

Sardar questioned "What about a Sardar's ?"
Doctor answered "Its too costly, Rs. 100000 per Gram"

Sardar is happy about the cost of Sardar's brain and he think its precious, but asked doctor with anxiety
"Why? Doctor, Its so costly".
Doctor explained "Because to collect 1 gram brain, do you know how many Sardars are needed?"

[animateash]

hey tukz awesoem

lvu ash

[animateash]

How to Treat a Rude Customer…


An award should go to the gate attendant at Luqa airport. A crowded Malta-London flight was cancelled. She was the lone attendant in charge of re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it HAS to be FIRST CLASS".
The attendant replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these people first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out." The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"

Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public address microphone: May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please?" she began. With her voice being heard clearly throughout the terminal, she said, "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14."

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the attendant, gritted his teeth and said, "F*** You!" Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that too."

[animateash]

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB.....




(THE LAST PART IS THE BEST)

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window.
Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.
Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation.

If they are counting the bricks.
Put them in the accounts department.

If they are recounting them..
Put them in auditing.

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks.
Put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order.
Put them in planning.

If they are throwing the bricks at each other.
Put them in operations.

If they are sleeping.
Put them in security.

If they have broken the bricks into pieces.
Put them in information technology.

If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved.
Put them in sales.

If they have already left for the day.
Put them in marketing.
If they are staring out of the window.
Put them on strategic planning.

And then last but not least.
If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved.

Congratulate them and put them in top management.

[animateash]

Good One by IAS candidates


I have give 7 answers correctly




Not only our technical knowledge helps, but also the presence of
mind and the right answer at right time. Even if u don't know the
answer for a question just confuse the questioner.

Question and the Answer given by Candidates oh sorry they are IAS
Officers now.

Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking
it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)

Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it
take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank Opted for IFS)

Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four
apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with
one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs , He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)

Q. What looks like half apple ?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper)

Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ?
A : Dinner.

Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?
A : It caused a revolution.

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid (UPSC 33Rank )
-

Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one
really difficult question.

Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for a
while and said, "my choice is one really difficult question."

"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me
this. "What comes first, Day or Night?"

The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the
correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and
said, "It's the DAY sir!"

"How" the interviewer asked, "Sorry sir, you promised me that you
will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"

He was selected for IIM!

"Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is
the master of simplicity."

[animateash]

Amazing but true!!!



*Have a look......things you may not know....*

**

*1. Coca-Cola was originally green.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*2. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*3.The name of the entire continents end with the same letter
that they start with.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*4. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*5. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*6. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the
letters on one row of the keyboard.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*7. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!*

*----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*8. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*9. It is impossible to lick your elbow.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*10. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze,
your heart stops for a millisecond.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*11. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*12. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the
toughest tongue twister in the English language.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*13. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to
suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck
and die.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*14. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history.

*>Spades - King David*

*>Clubs - Alexander the Great,*

*>Hearts - Charlemagne*

*>Diamonds - Julius Caesar.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*15. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
(count out the answer)*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*16. If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs
in the air, the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result
of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has a all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural
causes.* <cool huh!!>

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*17 What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and
laser printers all have in common?
Answer - All invented by women.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*18. Question - This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is this?
Answer - Honey*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*19. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*20. A snail can sleep for three years.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*21. All polar bears are left handed.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*22. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive
from each salad served in first-class.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*23. Butterflies taste with their feet.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*24.Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*25.In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*26. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*27. Shakespeare invented the words 'assassination' and 'bump'.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*28. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*29. An ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*30. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*31. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps o squirt
blood 30 feet.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*32. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have
over a million descendants.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*33. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in
your ear by 700 times.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*34. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*35. Most lipstick contains fish scales.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*36. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*37. And finally 99% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.*
(Am I right? If so, reply back)

[animateash]

7 Surefire Steps to a Positive Attitude




Attitude, as you have heard many times, is every-thing. That theory has been written in thousands of books, spoken to millions of people, and driven deep into your mind. Why? It's true.

Your attitude is your own personal filter for every-thing that happens to you, around you, or within you. What takes place in this world is not as important as how you view it.

You cannot choose what will happen to you. You cannot guarantee success and happiness for yourself. These things are out of your control. You can, however, choose how you feel about these things, about how you respond to these situations.

With a positive attitude, you will have the ability to be happier each and every day, make others around you happier, and live a good life. Below are seven tips that can help you keep your positive attitude going.


1. PUT THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE

When you find yourself getting fed up and your mood is taking a turn for the worse, take a step back and put things into perspective.

Is the stress and frustration really worth it? When you look at the bigger picture, don't they seem a bit insignificant? They should, because nine times out of ten the daily problems we face are not really that important when we take a look at life as a whole.

You are alive, you have food, shelter, and freedom. These things are reason enough to smile when you wake in the morning.


2. HAVE SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO

You are expecting something in the mail. Each day you run to the mail box, filled with excitement and anticipation. And then, finally, it comes!

People love to look forward to things. Some say that anticipation of something happening is better than when it actually happens.

We all have special events that are coming up. Holi-days, birthdays, vacations, weekends, etc. Keeping these in mind will give you something to stay excited about.


3. HELP OTHERS

There is no better way to forget about your worries than to help someone else with theirs. When you take the focus off of yourself, and give your attention to helping people, your attitude will change dramatically.

This tip not only includes helping friends and family, but also volunteering to help those in need whom you may not know. When you give of yourself, you'll receive tenfold in return.


4. TAKE A BREAK

There are times when the only solution is to get away from it all. If you know that you are in a negative mood, or have been in low spirits for some time, take a break. It could be just what you need.

Taking a break can vary from a short trip in your car, to a vacation in the Bahamas. A walk around the block, or a leisurely drive around the neighborhood can also work wonders for your mood and attitude.


5. TALK WITH A POSITIVE FRIEND

Talking things out can help you see the good in a bad situation. Call a friend and tell them about your problem, or just chat about any topic that comes to you. This is a very therapeutic and effective cure to a rough day.


6. LIFE IS SHORT


One thing to always remember is that life is short. The worst thing would be to look back on your days wishing you could have been happier. Now is the time to take a good look at your attitude and make the necessary improvements.

Days, weeks, months, and years have a way of rushing by. Don't let them pass while you are in a negative mood about life. A positive attitude is worth the work, effort, and change that it takes to create it. Look back with no regrets, only happy memories.


7. PEOPLE HAVE DONE MORE WITH LESS

A common cause for a poor attitude is the feeling that you are in a situation that is just too hard to deal with. Perhaps you don't have the job you want, or you may have a boss that drives you crazy. It may even be more serious than that. You may be too young, too old, too tired, too unlucky, etc...

People have done more with less.

Many people from all over the world have overcome obstacles, solved problems, and maintained a positive attitude through the most trying of times. If they can do it, so can you.

The power of a positive attitude is always within your reach. You simply have to extend your hand and grab it. Use the tips above to gain a great attitude, and to make your life happier, healthier, and wealthier

[divyaashimix]

Amazing but true!!!



*Have a look......things you may not know....*

**

*1. Coca-Cola was originally green.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*2. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*3.The name of the entire continents end with the same letter
that they start with.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*4. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*5. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*6. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the
letters on one row of the keyboard.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*7. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!*

*----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*8. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*9. It is impossible to lick your elbow.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*10. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze,
your heart stops for a millisecond.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*11. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*12. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the
toughest tongue twister in the English language.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*13. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to
suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck
and die.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*

*14. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history.

*>Spades - King David*

*>Clubs - Alexander the Great,*

*>Hearts - Charlemagne*

*>Diamonds - Julius Caesar.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*15. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
(count out the answer)*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*16. If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs
in the air, the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result
of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has a all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural
causes.* <cool huh!!>

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*17 What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and
laser printers all have in common?
Answer - All invented by women.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*18. Question - This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is this?
Answer - Honey*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*19. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*20. A snail can sleep for three years.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*21. All polar bears are left handed.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*22. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive
from each salad served in first-class.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*23. Butterflies taste with their feet.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*24.Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*25.In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*26. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*27. Shakespeare invented the words 'assassination' and 'bump'.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*28. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*29. An ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*30. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*31. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps o squirt
blood 30 feet.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*32. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have
over a million descendants.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*33. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in
your ear by 700 times.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*34. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*35. Most lipstick contains fish scales.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*36. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.*

*-----------------------------------------------------------*

*37. And finally 99% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.*
(Am I right? If so, reply back)


Hey gr8 one yarrrr....................
kool ones.............

[animateash]

Hey gr8 one yarrrr....................
kool ones.............
thanx

luv ash

[animateash]

Value of Professional (good one)




Ever heard the story of the giant ship engine that failed? The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine. Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a youngster. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work.

He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom. Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed!

A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars.

"What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"

So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."

The man sent a bill that read:

Tapping with a hammer ......................... $ 2.00
Knowing where to tap ......................... $ 9998.00


Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your life makes all the difference

[tukz]

kuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuul ashhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh osssoooooooooooooooooooooom

[divyaashimix]

Value of Professional (good one)




Ever heard the story of the giant ship engine that failed? The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine. Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a youngster. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work.

He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom. Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed!

A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars.

"What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"

So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."

The man sent a bill that read:

Tapping with a hammer ......................... $ 2.00
Knowing where to tap ......................... $ 9998.00


Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your life makes all the difference


Hey Thakur..........
great one again mann..........
you rokkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk............:) :) :) :)

[tukz]

There are 5 houses in 5 different colours. In each house lives a person of a different nationality. The 5 owners drink a certain type of beverage, smoke a certain brand of cigar, and keep a certain pet. Using the clues below can you determine who owns the fish?

The Brit lives in a red house.
The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
The Dane drinks tea.
The green house is on the immediate left of the white house.
The green house owner drinks coffee.
The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.
The man living in the house right in the middle drinks milk.
The Norwegian lives in the first house.
The man who smokes Blend lives next door to the one who keeps cats.
The man who keeps horses lives next door to the man who smokes Dunhill.
The owner who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.
The German smokes Prince.
The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
The man who smokes Blend has a neighbour who drinks water.

wel i myslf dunno d ans

ok i have got d ans herez it:
The German owns the fish and the table below details the full answer:




Nationality:

Norweg Dane Brit German Swede


Colour :

Yellow Blue Red Green White


Beverage :

water tea milk coffee beer


Smokes :

Dunhill Blend Pall Mall Prince Blue Master


Pet :

cats horses birds fish dogs

[tukz]

If marriages are made in heaven , then what are made
in Hell?
Ans : the days after marriage
During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom
is made
to sit on the horse ?
> >He is given his last chance to run away.
Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10
> >seconds......
> >Open ur eyes !
> >Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 sec in
> >thinking of a
> >fool............
January to december
> >sunday to saturday
> >Am to Pm
> >My feelings for u have never changed.......
> >u....
> >R....
> >always....
> >a HEADACHE to me !!!!
> >
> >
> > When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any
> one
> >around you,
> >the world seems to be fading away,
> >come along with me
> >i'll take u to an eye specialist !!
> >
> >
> > I wrote ur name on the sand .............
> >it got washed away,
> >I wrote ur name in air..........................
> >it got blown away,
> >So i wrote ur name in my heart.............
> > i got a HEART ATTACK
> >
> >
> > The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw
> in a
> >penny.
> >The wife decided to make a wish,too. But she leaned
> >over too much,
> >fell into the well, and drowned.
> >The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled
> >"It really works!"
> >
> >
> > LOVE is like a CIGAR
> >It starts with a fire..... continues with
> >smoke.....and ends in ashes...
> >But dont worry - we are chain smokers
> >
> >ur smile can be compared to a flower
> >ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo
> >ur innocence to a child
> >but in stupidity
> >u have no comparison
> >u r the best
> >
> > monkeys love u
> > tigers want u
> > peacocks wait for u
> > deers jump for u
> > so immediately get lost to the jungle
> >
> > True love is like a pillow
> >u can hug when u r in trouble
> >u can cry on when u r in pain & u can embrace when
> u r
> >happy
> >so when u need true love
> >spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow
> >
> >
> > Dear Friend,
> > when i ask u flower,
> >u give me bouquet
> >when i ask u a stone
> >u give me a statue
> >when i ask u a feather
> >u give me peacock
> > ARE U REALLY DEAF ?
> >
> >
> > I had VODKA with WATER
> >I felt DRUNK
> >I had WHISKY with WATER
> >I felt DRUNK
> >I had RUM with WATER
> >I felt DRUNK
> >I SWEAR I'LL NEVER DRINK water....!!!
> >
> >
> > when i call u;
> >1 ring means i'm thinking of u;
> >2 ring means i like u;
> >3 means i miss u;
> >4 means .........pick d phone idiot
> >
> >
> > Teacher : four beautiful ladies r walking on the
> road.
> >change it to exclamatory sentence ...
> >Student : WOW !
> >
> >
> > The human brain is most outstanding thing.......
> >it functions 24hrs 365 days.....
> >it functions right from the time u r Born....until
> you
> >fall in love
> >
> > SMILE - is a language of love
> >SMILE - is a source to win hearts...
> >SMILE - creates greatness in ur personality
> >SO....
> >Brush ur Teeth today onwards
> >
> > A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min.. A beer
> >shortens your life by 4
> >min.. A working day shortens your life by 8
> >hours!!!!..
> >
> >
> > History Teacher : >From where to where did the
> mughals
> >rule ?
> >Student : sir, i am not sure but think from page 15
> to
> >26 sir....
> >
> >
> > Teacher : U failure ! @ ur age Bill gates stood
> first
> >in the class
> >Student : Mind u, Sir, but @ ur age hitler commited
> suicide

[tukz]

See If You Can Figure Out What These Words Have In Common.......

Banana
Dresser
Grammar
Potato
Revive
Uneven
Voodoo




Are You Peeking Or Have You Already Given Up?





Give It Another Try....






OK... Here You Go... Hope You Didn't Cheat





This Is Cool.



SCROLL DOWN






Answer:



In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at
the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be
the same word.
Did you figure it out?

[divyaashimix]

Hey TUKZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
gr8 one man.
seriously I was unable to figure out this one.
rokking...........:) :) :)

[animateash]

kuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuul ashhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh osssoooooooooooooooooooooom
hey tahxn a lot

luv ash

[animateash]

Hey Thakur..........
great one again mann..........
you rokkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk............:) :) :) :)
tahxn a lot

luv ash

[animateash]

Twelve Points on ATTITUDE






Read these twelve points every day for the next thirty days and see how your life changes.

v It is your attitude at the beginning of a task more than anything else, that will determine your success or failure.


v It is your attitude towards life that will determine life's attitude towards you. Despite many people's belief to the contrary, life pays no favorites.


v You control your attitude. If you are negative it is because you have decided to be negative and not because of other people or circumstances.


v Act as if you have a good attitude. Remember actions trigger feelings just as feelings trigger actions.


v Before a person can achieve the kind of results he wants, he must first become that person. He must then think, walk, talk, act and conduct himself in all of his affairs, as would the person he wishes to become.

v Treat everybody as the most important person in the world.

v Attitudes are based on assumptions. In order to change attitudes one must first change one's assumptions.

v Develop the attitude that there are more reasons why you should succeed than reasons why you should fail.


v When you are faced with a problem, adopt the attitude that you can and will solve it.


v We become what we think about. Control your thoughts and you will control your life.


v Radiate the attitude of confidence, of well being, of a person who knows where he is going. You will then find good things happening to you right away.


v In order to develop a good attitude, take charge first thing in the morning. Do you say, "Good morning, Lord" or "Good Lord, morning?"

[animateash]

ok i have got d ans herez it:
The German owns the fish and the table below details the full answer:




Nationality:

Norweg Dane Brit German Swede


Colour :

Yellow Blue Red Green White


Beverage :

water tea milk coffee beer


Smokes :

Dunhill Blend Pall Mall Prince Blue Master


Pet :

cats horses birds fish dogs


hey how did u egt i m still cionfused

[animateash]

hey tukz awesoem

luv ash

[tukz]

hey tukz awesoem

luv ash
thnx sweety
A little boy wanted Rs.50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing
Happened. Finally he decided to write God a letter requesting the
Rs.50.When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God,
INDIA, they decided to forward it to the President of the India as a
Joke. The President was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to
Send the little boy Rs.20.The President thought this would appear to
be a lot of money to a little boy, and he did not want to spoil the kid.
The little boy was delighted with Rs.20, and decided to write a
thank you note to God, which read:" Dear God: Thank you very much for
Sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through the
Rashtrapati
Bhavan in New Delhi, and those donkeys deducted Rs.30 in taxes ... "

[tukz]

A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. When the other frogs saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead. The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.

The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, "Did you not hear us?" The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.

[tukz]

Fed up of people making fun of him, Santa Singh (the sardar) decided to
change his religion. He joined a priest in a Church as his assistant. One
day the priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the
confessional unattended, he called Santa D'costa (his new assistant) and
asked him to cover for him. Santa told him he wouldn't know what to say,
but the priest told him to stay with him for a little while and learn what
to do.


Santa joined the priest and then followed him into the confessional. A few
minutes later a woman came in and said "Father, forgive me for I have
sinned"

Priest: "What did you do?"

Woman: " I committed adultery"

Priest: "How many times?"

Woman: "Three times"

Priest: "Say Two Hail Marys, put $ 5.00 in the charity box, and sin no
more"

A few minutes later a man entered the confessional. He said

"Father, forgive me for I have sinned"

Priest: "What did you do?"

Man: "I committed adultery"

Priest: "How many times?"

Man: "Three times"

Priest: "Say two Hail Marys, put $ 5.00 in the charity box, and sin no more"

Santa, a quick learner, told the priest that he understood the job and the
priest could leave.

Santa D'costa was now alone. A few minutes later another woman entered and
said "Father, forgive me for I have sinned"

Santa: "What did you do?"

Woman: "I committed adultery"
Santa: "How many times?"

Woman: "Once"

Santa: "Go do it two more times, we have a special offer this week, three
times for $ 5.00 "

[tukz]

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.

That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

David Bissonette


When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Sacha Guitry



After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Hemant Joshi


By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates


Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas



The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud



I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Anonymous



"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Henry Youngman



"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

Sam Kinison



"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

James Holt McGavran



"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't." Patrick Murray



Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Nash



The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

Anonymous



You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henny Youngman


My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield



A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Milton Berle


Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

Anonymous


A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

[tukz]

A manager (a lady ) of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into her office.

"What is your name?" was the first thing she asked the new guy. "John," the new guy replied.
She scowled, "Look... I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked in before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only ... Smith, Jones, Baker ...that's all.

I am to be referred to only as Mrs. Robertson. Now that we have got that straight, what is your last name?"

The new guy sighed, "Darling............ My name is John Darling."

"Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . . "

[divyaashimix]

Hey TUKZ..
awesome wrok yarrr...
simply loved them..................:D :D :D

[animateash]

hey tukzzz awesoem

lvu ash

[style_ashitia]

hey tukz supreb!!!!!!!!!!

[evilseye]

Hey tukz!!!These r too gud!!!
Luv
Sur

[tukz]

Hey tukz!!!These r too gud!!!
Luv
Sur
thnx guyz i wil try n pst more sun