Fun 'n' Masti!!!!

[animateash]

SLIP OF TONGUEWIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"HUSBAND: "Of course I do."WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face).HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."WIFE: - - -silence - -HUSBAND: "oh shit"

[animateash]

A Cow, ant & a Donkey are debating on who is the greatest among three of


So here it goes..................





Cow : I give 50 liters of milk every day and that's why I am the greatest.









Ant : I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own
weight and that's why I am the Greatest.





*******


***











*****











*****














*****














******














********














*******











******














*******














*******














********














********











***********











Hello- Why are you scrolling down ???





It's your turn now--- please speak up.........!!!

[animateash]

You must be a good runner because you are always running in my mind,
you must be a good thief because you have stolen my heart,
and I am always a bad shooter because
I Miss You Always...

------------------------------------------------

What L O V E stands for?
L = Lake of Sorrow
O = Ocean of Tears
V = Valley of Death
E = End of life....

------------------------------------------------

Friendship is like a glass
handle it with care
because once broken cannot be mended
and even if mended....
a crack is always there !!!

------------------------------------------------

When Nights are long & Friends are few,
I sit by my Window & think of u.
a silent whisper a silent tear.
with all my Heart i wish you were here.

------------------------------------------------

When I open my eyes every morning i pray to God
that everyone should have a friend like you....
Why should only i suffer!!! ha ha ha

[animateash]

When the time comes for you to give your heart to someone,
make sure that u select someone who will never break your heart
coz broken hearts have no spare parts.

------------------------------------------------

Most people walk in and out of your life,
but only FRIENDS leave footprints in your heart.

------------------------------------------------

Good FRIENDS are hard to find,
harder to leave,
and impossible to forget.

------------------------------------------------

Don't frown.
You never know who is falling in love with your smile.

------------------------------------------------

When it hurts to look back,
and you're scared to look ahead,
you can look beside you
and your best friend will be there

------------------------------------------------

When u feel sad....
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,
"damn I am really so cute" u will overcome your sadness.
But don't make this a habit.....
Coz liars go to hell !!!!

------------------------------------------------

One day Love and friendship met.
Love asked-when i already exist why are you here?
Friendship replied "to make faces smile when u leave the tears!!!"
Friendship is the best thing in the world as there is no scope for tears if your friend is good.

[style_ashitia]

SLIP OF TONGUEWIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"HUSBAND: "Of course I do."WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face).HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."WIFE: - - -silence - -HUSBAND: "oh shit"

hey aashni gud one!!!!!!!!!

[animateash]

If you love someone, put their name in a circle,
instead of a heart, because hearts can break,
but circles go on forever

------------------------------------------------

If all my friends were to jump off a bridge,
I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them.

------------------------------------------------

To handle yourself, use your head;
To handle others, use your heart.

------------------------------------------------

Smile a while and while you smile,
smile another smile and soon there will be miles
and miles of smile just because you smiled,
I wish your day is full of SMILE

------------------------------------------------

Hi i am marrying next week
there will be a small party and
only few persons will be invited
Hey don't bring any gift
just bring SOMEONE to marry me.....

------------------------------------------------

A good Friend is like a computer
he ENTERS in your life SAVE himself
in your heart,FORMATS all your troubles
and never DELETE you from his heart.

------------------------------------------------

A friend is sweet when it is new...
it is sweeter when it is true....
but you know that.....
it is the sweetest when it is u..."

------------------------------------------------

Mountain can fly, river can dry
you can forget me but never can I

------------------------------------------------

Destiny decides who u meet in life
but its only your heart that can decide
who gets to stay in your life.....

------------------------------------------------

Have a heart that never hardens
have a smile that never fades
have a touch that never burnt
and have friendship that never breaks.

------------------------------------------------

If u drop me i ill break if u hold me i ill shake
if u need me i ill hurry, if u don't call me i ill worry
if u hurt me i ill cry but if u leave me i ill die.

[animateash]

Meaning of Friendship : -

F-------FOREVER
R-------RESPONCIBLE
I-------INTELLIGENT
E-------EAGER TO MAIL
N-------NICE
D-------DIVINE
S-------SIMPLE
H-------HEARTLY
I-------INTERSTED
P-------PEACEFUL

------------------------------------------------

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you're not

------------------------------------------------

If u are a chocolate you are the SWEETEST,
If u are a teddy bear you are the most HUGGABLE,
If u are a star you are the BRIGHTEST,
and since you are my friend...U R THE BEST !!!

------------------------------------------------

Don't shut love out of your life by saying
it's impossible to find.

The quickest way to receive love is to give;
The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly;
And the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

------------------------------------------------

Love is sweet poison:
Do not consume without your beloved's advise
and keep out of reach of children
and keep it in cool and dark place.

------------------------------------------------

Promise me we are true friends
I am lamp you are light
I am Coke you are Sprite
I am Sawan you are badal
I am Normal you are Pagal
I am Water you are Tanki
I am Tarzan you are Monkey

------------------------------------------------

What is wrong with your cellevery time i call a voice comes
the subscriber u have dialed is a monkey plz contact zoo for detail

------------------------------------------------

Someday u may lose ur hair.
u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.
But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks.
coz u cant lose wot u don't have!

------------------------------------------------

You look so fine! I want to...
break your heart and give you mine

------------------------------------------------

You are like the sunshine so warm,
you are like sugar, so sweet...
you are like you...
and that's the reason why I love you!

------------------------------------------------

Love is like war...
Easy to start...
Difficult to end...
Impossible to forget

------------------------------------------------

Do you believe in love at first sight
or do I have to walk by again??

------------------------------------------------

I've seen angels in the sky,
I've seen snow fall in July,
I've seen things you could only imagine to see or do,
But I still haven't seen anything sweeter than you!

------------------------------------------------

This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat,
keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,
20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!

------------------------------------------------

Hey friend remember that without stupidity there can be no wisdom
& without ugliness there can be no beauty
so the world needs YOU after all!

------------------------------------------------

The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass & flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn�t it rain on you?

------------------------------------------------

Our friendship means a lot to me.
U cry i cry. U lauf i lauf.
U jump out of the window...
I look down & then... i lauf again

------------------------------------------------

A triangle has 4 end,
square has 3 end,
segment has 2 end,
but our friendship has no end.

------------------------------------------------

Love is Pure
Love is Sure
Love is sweet poison
that Doctors can't cure

------------------------------------------------

Roses are red, voilets are blue
Donkeys like you, are kept in Zoo

[animateash]

An old one. Still, it tickles.
Raja

A letter from an Sardar mother to her son.

My dear Jagjit,

I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there.

I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20miles.

I won't be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate here, and that our address will remain same too.

This place is re ally nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the toilet I'm not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.

By the way I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is Badmash. He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in his club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, Jetinder fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love - Mom.

P.S. Jagjit, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter

[animateash]

hey aashni gud one!!!!!!!!!
tahxn a lto

lvu ash

[animateash]

1) Longest English Word:
Praetertranssubstan tiationalistical ly has 37 letters.

2) Book Without Letter "e":
GADFY, written by Earnest Wright in 1939 is a 50,000+ word book, which doesn't contain a
single word with 'e' in it

3) Word without Vowel:
Rhythm
Sky
Fry
Cry

4) Human Brain:
Organ of body which has no sensation when cut.

5) Crocodile:
Only animal & reptile which sheds tear while eating.

6) No of Alphabets, which SOUND AS WORDS:

They are
** **B* Bee *
** **C* Sea*
** **G** * Zee*
** ** I* Eye *
** ** Q* Queue*
** ** R* Are *
** ** S* Yes *
** **T* Tea* **
** ** U* You *
** ** Y* Why

Fascinating Animals, Birds, Trees:

1) SNAILS have 14175 teeth laid along 135 rows on their tongue.
2) A BUTTERFLY has 12,000 eyes.
3) DOLPHINS sleep with 1 eye open.
4) A BLUE WHALE can eat as much as 3 tones of food everyday, but at the same time can live without food for 6 months.
5) The EARTH has over 12,00,000 species of animals, 3,00,000 species of plants & 1,00,000 other species.
6) The fierce DINOSAUR was TYRANNOSAURS which has sixty long & sharp
teeth, used to attack & eat other dinosaurs.
7) DEMETRIO was a mammal like REPTILE with a snail on its back. This acted as a radiator to cool the body of the animal.
8) CASSOWARY is one of the dangerous BIRD, that can kill a man or animal by tearing off with its dagger like claw.
9) The SWAN has over 25,000 feathers in its body.
10) OSTRICH eats pebbles to help digestion by grinding up the ingested food.
11) POLAR BEAR can look clumsy & slow but during chase on ice, can reach 25 miles / hr of speed.
12) KIWIS are the only birds, which hunt by sense of smell.
13) ELEPHANT teeth can weigh as much as 9 pounds.
14) OWL is the only bird, which can rotate its head to 270 degrees.

What are They :

1) If we say 'MUMMY', they come together & go apart when we say DADDY':
LIPS
2) What goes up & never comes down:
AGE
3) Patches over patches but no stitches:
CABBAGE
4) What is that we cannot see, but is always before you:
FUTURE
5) What goes up & down a hill, but never moves: ROAD
6) You can never wet it:
SHADOW
7) What belongs to You, but used by your friends more often you do:
YOUR NAME

In 24 Hours Average Human :

1) HEART beats 1,03,689 times.
2) LUNGS respire 23,045 times.
3) BLOOD flows 16,80,000 miles.
4) NAILS grow 0.00007 inches
5) HAIR grows 0.01715 inches
6) Take 2.9 pounds WATER (including all liquids)
7) Take of 3.25 pounds FOOD.
8) Breathe 438 cubic feet AIR.
9) Lose 85.60, BODY TEMPERATURE.
10) Produce 1.43 pints SWEAT.
11) Speak 4,800 WORDS.
12) During SLEEP move 25.4 times

[style_ashitia]

hey aashni keep it up rocking work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[animateash]

1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice, and heterosexual men are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have no money, are cowards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have money and thank God are straight, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!

11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.


now who teh hell udnerstand smen

[tukz]

1) Longest English Word:
Praetertranssubstan tiationalistical ly has 37 letters.

2) Book Without Letter "e":
GADFY, written by Earnest Wright in 1939 is a 50,000+ word book, which doesn't contain a
single word with 'e' in it

3) Word without Vowel:
Rhythm
Sky
Fry
Cry

4) Human Brain:
Organ of body which has no sensation when cut.

5) Crocodile:
Only animal & reptile which sheds tear while eating.

6) No of Alphabets, which SOUND AS WORDS:

They are
** **B* Bee *
** **C* Sea*
** **G** * Zee*
** ** I* Eye *
** ** Q* Queue*
** ** R* Are *
** ** S* Yes *
** **T* Tea* **
** ** U* You *
** ** Y* Why

Fascinating Animals, Birds, Trees:

1) SNAILS have 14175 teeth laid along 135 rows on their tongue.
2) A BUTTERFLY has 12,000 eyes.
3) DOLPHINS sleep with 1 eye open.
4) A BLUE WHALE can eat as much as 3 tones of food everyday, but at the same time can live without food for 6 months.
5) The EARTH has over 12,00,000 species of animals, 3,00,000 species of plants & 1,00,000 other species.
6) The fierce DINOSAUR was TYRANNOSAURS which has sixty long & sharp
teeth, used to attack & eat other dinosaurs.
7) DEMETRIO was a mammal like REPTILE with a snail on its back. This acted as a radiator to cool the body of the animal.
8) CASSOWARY is one of the dangerous BIRD, that can kill a man or animal by tearing off with its dagger like claw.
9) The SWAN has over 25,000 feathers in its body.
10) OSTRICH eats pebbles to help digestion by grinding up the ingested food.
11) POLAR BEAR can look clumsy & slow but during chase on ice, can reach 25 miles / hr of speed.
12) KIWIS are the only birds, which hunt by sense of smell.
13) ELEPHANT teeth can weigh as much as 9 pounds.
14) OWL is the only bird, which can rotate its head to 270 degrees.

What are They :

1) If we say 'MUMMY', they come together & go apart when we say DADDY':
LIPS
2) What goes up & never comes down:
AGE
3) Patches over patches but no stitches:
CABBAGE
4) What is that we cannot see, but is always before you:
FUTURE
5) What goes up & down a hill, but never moves: ROAD
6) You can never wet it:
SHADOW
7) What belongs to You, but used by your friends more often you do:
YOUR NAME

In 24 Hours Average Human :

1) HEART beats 1,03,689 times.
2) LUNGS respire 23,045 times.
3) BLOOD flows 16,80,000 miles.
4) NAILS grow 0.00007 inches
5) HAIR grows 0.01715 inches
6) Take 2.9 pounds WATER (including all liquids)
7) Take of 3.25 pounds FOOD.
8) Breathe 438 cubic feet AIR.
9) Lose 85.60, BODY TEMPERATURE.
10) Produce 1.43 pints SWEAT.
11) Speak 4,800 WORDS.
12) During SLEEP move 25.4 times
hey kul 1 ash but i wanna say sumthn...........plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz if i hurt u den am really srry............as u have ritten dat....6) No of Alphabets, which SOUND AS WORDS:

They are
** **B* Bee *
** **C* Sea*
** **G** * Zee*
** ** I* Eye *
** ** Q* Queue*
** ** R* Are *
** ** S* Yes *
** **T* Tea* **
** ** U* You *
** ** Y* Why
dere one more n dats p-pea

[animateash]

hey kul 1 ash but i wanna say sumthn...........plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz if i hurt u den am really srry............as u have ritten dat....6) No of Alphabets, which SOUND AS WORDS:

They are
** **B* Bee *
** **C* Sea*
** **G** * Zee*
** ** I* Eye *
** ** Q* Queue*
** ** R* Are *
** ** S* Yes *
** **T* Tea* **
** ** U* You *
** ** Y* Why
dere one more n dats p-pea

hey athxna lto and y shud i be hurt tahnx for dat p also

lvu ash

[guru_sal]

1) Longest English Word:
Praetertranssubstan tiationalistical ly has 37 letters.

2) Book Without Letter "e":
GADFY, written by Earnest Wright in 1939 is a 50,000+ word book, which doesn't contain a
single word with 'e' in it

3) Word without Vowel:
Rhythm
Sky
Fry
Cry

4) Human Brain:
Organ of body which has no sensation when cut.

5) Crocodile:
Only animal & reptile which sheds tear while eating.

6) No of Alphabets, which SOUND AS WORDS:

They are
** **B* Bee *
** **C* Sea*
** **G** * Zee*
** ** I* Eye *
** ** Q* Queue*
** ** R* Are *
** ** S* Yes *
** **T* Tea* **
** ** U* You *
** ** Y* Why

Fascinating Animals, Birds, Trees:

1) SNAILS have 14175 teeth laid along 135 rows on their tongue.
2) A BUTTERFLY has 12,000 eyes.
3) DOLPHINS sleep with 1 eye open.
4) A BLUE WHALE can eat as much as 3 tones of food everyday, but at the same time can live without food for 6 months.
5) The EARTH has over 12,00,000 species of animals, 3,00,000 species of plants & 1,00,000 other species.
6) The fierce DINOSAUR was TYRANNOSAURS which has sixty long & sharp
teeth, used to attack & eat other dinosaurs.
7) DEMETRIO was a mammal like REPTILE with a snail on its back. This acted as a radiator to cool the body of the animal.
8) CASSOWARY is one of the dangerous BIRD, that can kill a man or animal by tearing off with its dagger like claw.
9) The SWAN has over 25,000 feathers in its body.
10) OSTRICH eats pebbles to help digestion by grinding up the ingested food.
11) POLAR BEAR can look clumsy & slow but during chase on ice, can reach 25 miles / hr of speed.
12) KIWIS are the only birds, which hunt by sense of smell.
13) ELEPHANT teeth can weigh as much as 9 pounds.
14) OWL is the only bird, which can rotate its head to 270 degrees.

What are They :

1) If we say 'MUMMY', they come together & go apart when we say DADDY':
LIPS
2) What goes up & never comes down:
AGE
3) Patches over patches but no stitches:
CABBAGE
4) What is that we cannot see, but is always before you:
FUTURE
5) What goes up & down a hill, but never moves: ROAD
6) You can never wet it:
SHADOW
7) What belongs to You, but used by your friends more often you do:
YOUR NAME

In 24 Hours Average Human :

1) HEART beats 1,03,689 times.
2) LUNGS respire 23,045 times.
3) BLOOD flows 16,80,000 miles.
4) NAILS grow 0.00007 inches
5) HAIR grows 0.01715 inches
6) Take 2.9 pounds WATER (including all liquids)
7) Take of 3.25 pounds FOOD.
8) Breathe 438 cubic feet AIR.
9) Lose 85.60, BODY TEMPERATURE.
10) Produce 1.43 pints SWEAT.
11) Speak 4,800 WORDS.
12) During SLEEP move 25.4 times
if u feel english is easy for u ..than fill this 3 blanks with yes or no .
1} ..... I dont have brain.
2}...... I dont have sense.
3} ..... I am stuped.



feeling of luv,moments of care,smile2 care ,smile 2 share in ,stupid fights ,shoulder 2 cry 2b 2gether in pain creates a miracle called FRIENDS.

[guru_sal]

A Cow, ant & a Donkey are debating on who is the greatest among three of


So here it goes..................





Cow : I give 50 liters of milk every day and that's why I am the greatest.









Ant : I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own
weight and that's why I am the Greatest.





*******


***











*****











*****














*****














******














********














*******











******














*******














*******














********














********











***********











Hello- Why are you scrolling down ???





It's your turn now--- please speak up.........!!!its nice ash ,
two golden rules of life .
1}gurpreet is always right
2}whenever u feel he's wrong ,slap yrself and see rule number one again.



what is the height of lying ?????
A Negro taking bath and singing d song .
PAANI MEIN JALE MERA GORA BADAN .

[luckysd]

1) Longest English Word:
Praetertranssubstan tiationalistical ly has 37 letters.

2) Book Without Letter "e":
GADFY, written by Earnest Wright in 1939 is a 50,000+ word book, which doesn't contain a
single word with 'e' in it

3) Word without Vowel:
Rhythm
Sky
Fry
Cry

4) Human Brain:
Organ of body which has no sensation when cut.

5) Crocodile:
Only animal & reptile which sheds tear while eating.

6) No of Alphabets, which SOUND AS WORDS:

They are
** **B* Bee *
** **C* Sea*
** **G** * Zee*
** ** I* Eye *
** ** Q* Queue*
** ** R* Are *
** ** S* Yes *
** **T* Tea* **
** ** U* You *
** ** Y* Why

Fascinating Animals, Birds, Trees:

1) SNAILS have 14175 teeth laid along 135 rows on their tongue.
2) A BUTTERFLY has 12,000 eyes.
3) DOLPHINS sleep with 1 eye open.
4) A BLUE WHALE can eat as much as 3 tones of food everyday, but at the same time can live without food for 6 months.
5) The EARTH has over 12,00,000 species of animals, 3,00,000 species of plants & 1,00,000 other species.
6) The fierce DINOSAUR was TYRANNOSAURS which has sixty long & sharp
teeth, used to attack & eat other dinosaurs.
7) DEMETRIO was a mammal like REPTILE with a snail on its back. This acted as a radiator to cool the body of the animal.
8) CASSOWARY is one of the dangerous BIRD, that can kill a man or animal by tearing off with its dagger like claw.
9) The SWAN has over 25,000 feathers in its body.
10) OSTRICH eats pebbles to help digestion by grinding up the ingested food.
11) POLAR BEAR can look clumsy & slow but during chase on ice, can reach 25 miles / hr of speed.
12) KIWIS are the only birds, which hunt by sense of smell.
13) ELEPHANT teeth can weigh as much as 9 pounds.
14) OWL is the only bird, which can rotate its head to 270 degrees.

What are They :

1) If we say 'MUMMY', they come together & go apart when we say DADDY':
LIPS
2) What goes up & never comes down:
AGE
3) Patches over patches but no stitches:
CABBAGE
4) What is that we cannot see, but is always before you:
FUTURE
5) What goes up & down a hill, but never moves: ROAD
6) You can never wet it:
SHADOW
7) What belongs to You, but used by your friends more often you do:
YOUR NAME

In 24 Hours Average Human :

1) HEART beats 1,03,689 times.
2) LUNGS respire 23,045 times.
3) BLOOD flows 16,80,000 miles.
4) NAILS grow 0.00007 inches
5) HAIR grows 0.01715 inches
6) Take 2.9 pounds WATER (including all liquids)
7) Take of 3.25 pounds FOOD.
8) Breathe 438 cubic feet AIR.
9) Lose 85.60, BODY TEMPERATURE.
10) Produce 1.43 pints SWEAT.
11) Speak 4,800 WORDS.
12) During SLEEP move 25.4 times
hey ash...........realy nice and cool man.............keep it up

[guru_sal]

You must be a good runner because you are always running in my mind,
you must be a good thief because you have stolen my heart,
and I am always a bad shooter because
I Miss You Always...

------------------------------------------------

What L O V E stands for?
L = Lake of Sorrow
O = Ocean of Tears
V = Valley of Death
E = End of life....

------------------------------------------------

Friendship is like a glass
handle it with care
because once broken cannot be mended
and even if mended....
a crack is always there !!!

------------------------------------------------

When Nights are long & Friends are few,
I sit by my Window & think of u.
a silent whisper a silent tear.
with all my Heart i wish you were here.

------------------------------------------------

When I open my eyes every morning i pray to God
that everyone should have a friend like you....
Why should only i suffer!!! ha ha ha

WHAT COMES AND GOES IS CALLED A TREND
BUT WHAT STAYS FOREVER IS CALLED A FRIEND.



LIFE IS NOT EASY AND IT WILL NEVER BE ,
BUT REMEMBER U HAVE GOT FRIENDS
AND BEST OF THEM IS ME .




TRUE FRNDS R LIKE DIAMONDS.
THEY R REAL AND RARE .
FALSE FRNDS R LIKE LEAVES,
THEY R SCATTERED EVERYWHERE.
U R HAVING DIAMONDS SHINE
UR TRUE FRND OF MINE

[tukz]

Sardar1:- Marte Waqt Aadmi Ko Kya Dena Chahiye?
Sardar2:-Birla cement
Sardar1:-Kyun?
Sardar2:- Kyunki Is Cement Mein Jaan Hain
________________________________________________

Once a sardar calls another sardar on the phone and
says "Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon".
The other sardar replies "Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main
Bol Raha Hoon!"

_______________________________________________

A Sardar had called an Englishman for lunch.
There was curd on the table.
The guest asked what is this?
The Sardar didn't know English,
He said "Milk sleeping in night, morning becomes
tight"

_______________________________________________

Once a sardarji tries to cheat the Indian railways. He
is thinking for a novel idea. He thinks a lot and
finally he did one thing, he bought the ticketand
didn't travel.

__________________________________________________

A sardar was drawing money from ATM. The sardar behind
him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur
password. Its 4 asterisks(****). The first sardar
replies, " Ha! Ha! Haaa! U r wrong. Its 1258."

__________________________________________________ ___

What is the height of stupidity?
2 sardarjies sitting on a motorcycle & fighting for a
window seat

__________________________________________________ ____

Did you hear about the sardarji who is so rich he has
two swimming pools, one of which is always empty?
It's for people who can't swim!

__________________________________________________ __

Santa Singh: Will this bus take me to Jalandhar?
Driver: Which part?
Santa Singh: All of me, of course!

__________________________________________________ __

What do you call a Sardarji in a deep well?
A deep thinker..

__________________________________________________

Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, 'Aap ke paas
color TV hai kya?'
'Haan' replies shopowner.
Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!'

_________________________________________________

AT INDO-PAK WAR
Once in the Indo Pakistan war, Pakistan was fighting
fiercely and capturing
everything in sight. A sikh camp called Gurudwara
hideout was crucial to defend from
the pakistanis as it contained all the defence
secrets. The pakistani forces
surrounded the base and the sikhs had thought that
they had lost the battle but,
suddenly out of the bushes jumps Captain. Hari Singh
wearing a Maachar
dani!(mosquito net) He Pulls out his AK-47 rifle and
fires like mad. The pakistanis run
off quickly. The next day Hari Singh gets a medal. His
friends ask him "Yaar thu
maachar daani kyon pehenke gaya tha?" Hari Singh
replies "Maachar daani itni patli
hote hain ki agar maachar nahin ghus sakte, goli kahan
se ghussenghi?

__________________________________________________ _

In the following war Hari Singh retires and his son
Gani Singh No Assumptions
Please!) joins the army. Pakistanis are again
surrounding the Gurudwara hideout, the
sikhs again think they've lost the war but out of the
bushes erupts Gani Singh
wearning nothing he tries do shoo away the pakistanis
like his father did but instead
gets shot. In the hospital his friends tell him "aare
yaar, therre bap me tho itni akal
thi ki vo maachar daani pehin ke gaya tha, aur tu
nunga chale gaya". Gani Singh replies
"aare yaar main tho odomos lage ke gaya tha"!

[tukz]

1. Do you know why girls don't keep thier mobiles in
shirt pocket?

B'coz can't get signals near hills & mountains


2.Do you know why boys keep thier mobiles in pant
pockets?

B'coz signals are high near the tower....


3. Chemistry ke teacher ne Ek ladki ko poocha...
Teacher:: What are nitrates?
Ladki:: Ladki ne Sharmate hue jawab diya "2500/- plus
hotel room bill"...

4. Q:: What is the difference between pulling a curtain
and pan ty??

A:: When you pull a curtain, "It means that the show is
over".

But, pulling down a pan ty means "It's show time".


5. BOYS PLEDGE:
India is our nation,
Girls are our destination,
Flirting is our Profession,
Dating is our Occupation,
to hell with our Education.

6. GIRLS POLICY:
Fraud with innocent boys;
Fun with Handsome boys;
Friendship with Smart boys;
Love with Faithful boys;
Marriage with Rich boys.

7. Lady asked the time to a Sardar. He replied "bra
panties"
She slapped him and said, "I asked you the time".
Sardar said wahi tho "BARAH PAINTEES" <12:35>

8. Traveller to co-passenger on seeing her zip open:
"Madam, your lips are laughing". She replied "yeah, it
wants a cigarette".

9. A girl and boy sitting alone. The boy started
touching the girl.
GIRL: Don't touch me, all this only after marriage...
BOY: OK, call me when you are married.

10. Sardar was driving with girlfriend to Chandigarh.
He puts his hand on her lap. She smiles and says, "You
can go further dear".
So, Sardar drives to SHIMLA.

11. A boy from third class asked his teacher, can a
girl of my age have babies?
She said, "What? NEVER"
Boy told the girl sitting next, "See, I told you not to
worry"

Thought of the day:
SEX is like a restaurant, Sometimes you get good
service, sometimes you get bad service, sometimes no
service and Many times you have to be happy with
self-service.

[tukz]

Have a break Techies..get Refreshed with this..one..!

1. Bill Gates earns US$250 every SECOND, that's about
US$20 Million a DAY and US$7.8 Billion a YEAR!

2. If he drops a thousand dollar, he won't even bother to pick
it up bcoz the 4 seconds he picks it, he
would've already earned it back.

3. The US national debt is about 5.62 trillion,
if Bill Gates were to pay the debt by himself;
he will finish it in less then 10 years.

4. He can donate US$15 to everyone on earth but
still be left with US$5 Million for his pocket money.

5. Michael Jordan is the highest paid athlete in
US. If he doesn't drink and eat, and keeps up his annual income
i.e. US$30 Million, he'll have to wait for 277 years to become as
rich as Bill Gates is now.

6. If Bill Gates was a country, he would be the
37th richest country on earth.

7. If you change all of Bill Gate's money to US$1 notes,
you can make a road from the earth to moon, 14 times back and forth. But
you have to make that road non-stop for 1,400 years, and use
a total of 713 BOEING 747 planes to transport all the money.

8. Bill Gates is 40 this year. If we assume that
he will live for another 35 years, he has to spend US$6.78 Million per
day to finish all his money before he goes to heaven.

Last but not the least : My Favourite........!!!

If Microsoft Windows' users can claim US$1 for
every time their computers hang because of Microsoft Windows,
Bill Gates will be bankrupt in 3 years

[tukz]

Below are The New Employee Rules & Regulations, 2006 to uplift our standars in all aspects ,covering all your personal benefits Including health & wealth.These rules are made for you ,keeping in mind your Prosperity In the Company.
The Rules & Regulations GentleMen

Dress Code

It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your
salary.
If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we
assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a
raise.
If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better,
so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore do not need a raise.
If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and
therefore do not need a raise.

Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness.
If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days
Each employee will receive 78 personal days a year. They are called
Thursday(halfday) and Friday.

Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a
strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of the three
minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall
door will open and a picture will be taken.
After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company
bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy!
You are allowed to use the rest room only thrice a day and you have to swipe in and out from the toilet doors also.


Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so
that they can look healthy.
Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.


Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
needed to drink a slim fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company.

We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore,
all questions, comments,concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations,
aggravations,insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations,
consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

[tukz]

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting.
On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp.
They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
The ghost says," Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three,
I will allow one wish each".
So the eager senior manager shouted,
I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries.
"Pfufffff, and he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails.
"Pfufffff,and he was also gone.
The boss calmly said, " I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm"
Lesson : "Always allow the bosses to speak first"

[tukz]

There are 12 months a year...30 days a month...7 days a week...24 hours a day...60 minutes an hour...but only one like you in a lifetime.

There are two reasons why I wake up in the morning: my alarm clock and you.

Great minds contain ideas, solutions and reasons; scientific minds contain formulas, theories and figures; my mind contains only you!

Love can be expressed in many ways. One way I know is to send it across the distance to the person who is reading this.

If I could change the alphabet, I would put U and I together!

Minsan caring is better than loving. Minsan tea is better than coffee. Minsan smile is better than laughter. Pero nobody is better than you.

There is night so we can appreciate day, sorrow so we can appreciate joy, evil so we can appreciate good, you so I can appreciate love.

You look great today. How did I know? Because you look great everyday.

What is love? Those who don't like it call it responsibility. Those who play with it call it a game. Those who don't have it call it a dream. Those who understand it call it destiny. And me, I call it you.

What is love? It is what makes your cell phone ring every time I send text messages.


If love can be avoided by simply closing our eyes, then I wouldn't blink at all for I don't want to let a second pass having fallen out of love with you.

I used to think that dreams do not come true, but this quickly changed the moment I laid my eyes on you.

Press down if you miss me. Talaga? Sweet mo naman. You really miss me huh? Still pressing down. Impressed na ako, ha? Sobrang miss na yan. Well, I miss you too.

Some people were born with talents. They can do beautiful things with their skills, knowledge and technology. But no one is as talented as you. You just come near, and there is already beauty.

A lady is a woman who makes a man behave like a gentleman. You're such a lady to me.

To forget you is hard to do and to forget me is up to you. Forget me not, forget me never. Forget this text, but not the sender.

When situation gets you down, remember there's Someone in Heaven who loves you and watches over you and there's someone on Earth who cares… I do.

Cell phones can be irritating sometimes. You always have to reload, recharge every now and then. Messages are delayed. But there's one thing I love about it. It connects me to you!

Words begin with ABC. Numbers begin with 123. Music begins with do, re, mi. And friendship begins with you and me!

Rain and sunshine do not always come together. Night and day never coincide. But you and I, whatever they say, is for me the perfect match.
When I dream, I dream of you...maybe one day, dreams will come true.

There is an ocean between us. Forests and mountains keep us apart. I may not be superman, but give me a second and I will fly across countries to send you my love. Have you received it?

If, out of time, I could pick one moment and keep it shining, always new, of all the days that I have lived, I'd pick the moment I met you.

I'm on a mission to get over you, in other words mission impossible.

I wish I'd be a tear in your eye to roll down your cheek and end up with your lips but I never wish you'd be a tear in my eye for I would lose you every time I cry.

When it rains, you don't see the sun, but it's there. Hope we can be like that. We don't always see each other, but we will always be there for one another.

I may run out of message to text you. I may run out of jokes too. I may also run out of battery or even a peso but my heart won't run out of space for you!

You'll know that you miss someone very much when every time you think of that person, your heart breaks into pieces and just a quick "Hello" from that person can bring the broken pieces back.

Love. All my life I have read about it, dreamt of it, waited for it, cried for it, needed it. Now with you, I have found it.


Sherlock Holmes was an idiot and Robert Watt was a fool. One was a detective, the other invented radar. But neither of them ever discovered you. I'm a genius!
When the time comes I can't smile anymore, don't worry about me, I know what to do. I'll just stare at one corner and think of you. No one else could make me happy like the way you do.

There's a love that only you can give, a smile that only your lips can show, a twinkle that can only be seen in your eyes, and a life of mine that you alone can complete.

Everyone wants to be the sun that lights up your life. But I'd rather be your moon, so I can shine on you during your darkest hour when your sun isn't around.

Ah-- I forgot your name. Can I call you mine? And, in case you forget my name too, call me yours!

If I had the letters "HRT", I can add "EA" to get a "HEART" or a "U" and get "HURT". But I'd rather choose "U" and get "HURT" than have a "HEART" without "U".
You may never see how much I care for you. You may never hear how much I treasure you. You may never feel how much I miss you. Coz only here in my heart can you see them true.

There are 4 steps to happiness: 1. you, 2. me, 3. our hearts, 4. together!

If kisses were water, I'd give you the ocean. If hugs were leaves, I'd give you a forest. If love were space, I'd give you a galaxy. If friendship were life, I'd give you mine for free.

It's hard to say hello because it might be goodbye. It's hard to say I'm okay because sometimes I'm not. But it's easy to say I miss you coz I know that I really do.

It's hard for two people to love each other when they live in two different worlds. But when these two worlds collide and become one, that's what you call you and I.

If you're feeling lonely and you think there is nobody there to love, support, listen or show they care, just save this message and every time you realize it, it will remind you that a part of me is always there with you.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I am waiting to hear from a cute guy like you.

They say that as long as there is one person loving you, life isn't a waste. So if you lose hope and thought that life is not worth living, just remember I'm here.

Do you know that men and women are angels created with only one wing? And they need to embrace each other to be able to fly... Hope you can find your angel whom you can fly with forever.

They told me I could do anything if I put my mind into it. Yet no matter how hard I try in all that I do, I just can't take my mind off you.

My biggest reward is to see you smile, know you are happy, and feel you are loved. I know life is sometimes cruel, but that's why I'm here, to show you that life can be good when somebody cares.

I always think of you, but I always fail to know the reason why. Is there something else I should know about you? But there is one thing that I know is true. That life will always be sad without you.

Hatred infects the mind; love dissolves it. You dissolve my mind.

Don't say you love me unless you really mean it cause I might do something crazy like believe it.

I'm afraid to close my eyes coz I might think of you. I'm afraid to open them coz I might see you. I'm afraid to move my lips coz I might speak of you. I'm afraid to listen coz I might hear my heart fall for you.

I'm sorry to be smiling every time you're near. I'm sorry my eyes twinkle whenever you're here. I'm sorry that cupid has made his hit. I'm sorry I love you, I can't help it.

Caring for someone is easy but making someone care for you is hard. Now I keep wondering how did you make it so easy for me to care for you.

Text me when you are sad, text me when you need someone to listen to and you can't find anyone who will. I don't care if I'm your last option, I just don't want you to cry alone.

I don't want to say I miss you, though deep inside I do, coz I'm afraid you might see thru and know how much fear I have of losing someone like you.

If love can be avoided simply by closing our eyes, I wouldn't blink at all for I don't want to let a second pass having fallen out of love with you.

I wish one day you will miss me terribly that no matter how hard you look for me, you won't find me. Why? Because, I want you to miss me the way I'm missing you right now.

If I could be any letter in the alphabet, I'd choose "V" so I can be next to "U"; if you could be any note, I wish you're "RE" so your always beside "ME"!

Whatever you do, I'll walk with you. Hoping that your every dream would come true. Anytime, anywhere, I'll always be there. Wishing you love and happiness because I care.

The spaces between our fingers were created so that another person's fingers could fill them in. Hope you'll find your dream hand to hold you forever

[tukz]

If Today Anyone
Talks & Praises
You For Your
1) Gud looks
2 ) Nature
3 ) Style
4 ) Attitude,

Kick Them Off.
How Dare They
FOOL U
Before
April 1st.

[guru_sal]

1) Longest English Word:
Praetertranssubstan tiationalistical ly has 37 letters.

2) Book Without Letter "e":
GADFY, written by Earnest Wright in 1939 is a 50,000+ word book, which doesn't contain a
single word with 'e' in it

3) Word without Vowel:
Rhythm
Sky
Fry
Cry

4) Human Brain:
Organ of body which has no sensation when cut.

5) Crocodile:
Only animal & reptile which sheds tear while eating.

6) No of Alphabets, which SOUND AS WORDS:

They are
** **B* Bee *
** **C* Sea*
** **G** * Zee*
** ** I* Eye *
** ** Q* Queue*
** ** R* Are *
** ** S* Yes *
** **T* Tea* **
** ** U* You *
** ** Y* Why

Fascinating Animals, Birds, Trees:

1) SNAILS have 14175 teeth laid along 135 rows on their tongue.
2) A BUTTERFLY has 12,000 eyes.
3) DOLPHINS sleep with 1 eye open.
4) A BLUE WHALE can eat as much as 3 tones of food everyday, but at the same time can live without food for 6 months.
5) The EARTH has over 12,00,000 species of animals, 3,00,000 species of plants & 1,00,000 other species.
6) The fierce DINOSAUR was TYRANNOSAURS which has sixty long & sharp
teeth, used to attack & eat other dinosaurs.
7) DEMETRIO was a mammal like REPTILE with a snail on its back. This acted as a radiator to cool the body of the animal.
8) CASSOWARY is one of the dangerous BIRD, that can kill a man or animal by tearing off with its dagger like claw.
9) The SWAN has over 25,000 feathers in its body.
10) OSTRICH eats pebbles to help digestion by grinding up the ingested food.
11) POLAR BEAR can look clumsy & slow but during chase on ice, can reach 25 miles / hr of speed.
12) KIWIS are the only birds, which hunt by sense of smell.
13) ELEPHANT teeth can weigh as much as 9 pounds.
14) OWL is the only bird, which can rotate its head to 270 degrees.

What are They :

1) If we say 'MUMMY', they come together & go apart when we say DADDY':
LIPS
2) What goes up & never comes down:
AGE
3) Patches over patches but no stitches:
CABBAGE
4) What is that we cannot see, but is always before you:
FUTURE
5) What goes up & down a hill, but never moves: ROAD
6) You can never wet it:
SHADOW
7) What belongs to You, but used by your friends more often you do:
YOUR NAME

In 24 Hours Average Human :

1) HEART beats 1,03,689 times.
2) LUNGS respire 23,045 times.
3) BLOOD flows 16,80,000 miles.
4) NAILS grow 0.00007 inches
5) HAIR grows 0.01715 inches
6) Take 2.9 pounds WATER (including all liquids)
7) Take of 3.25 pounds FOOD.
8) Breathe 438 cubic feet AIR.
9) Lose 85.60, BODY TEMPERATURE.
10) Produce 1.43 pints SWEAT.
11) Speak 4,800 WORDS.
12) During SLEEP move 25.4 times

what is d expansion of YAHOO?
yet another heirarchy of officious oracle


expansion of adidas
all day i dream about sports.


FRM WHERE D WORD GOOD BYE DERIVE FRM ?
GOD BE WITH U.


WHICH IS D ONLY SPORT WHICH IS
NOT ALLOWED TO PLAY WITH LEFT HAND .
POLO



D LONGEST ONE SYLLABL WORD IN ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS
SCREECHED

[guru_sal]

Sardar1:- Marte Waqt Aadmi Ko Kya Dena Chahiye?
Sardar2:-Birla cement
Sardar1:-Kyun?
Sardar2:- Kyunki Is Cement Mein Jaan Hain
________________________________________________

Once a sardar calls another sardar on the phone and
says "Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon".
The other sardar replies "Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main
Bol Raha Hoon!"

_______________________________________________

A Sardar had called an Englishman for lunch.
There was curd on the table.
The guest asked what is this?
The Sardar didn't know English,
He said "Milk sleeping in night, morning becomes
tight"

_______________________________________________

Once a sardarji tries to cheat the Indian railways. He
is thinking for a novel idea. He thinks a lot and
finally he did one thing, he bought the ticketand
didn't travel.

__________________________________________________

A sardar was drawing money from ATM. The sardar behind
him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur
password. Its 4 asterisks(****). The first sardar
replies, " Ha! Ha! Haaa! U r wrong. Its 1258."

__________________________________________________ ___

What is the height of stupidity?
2 sardarjies sitting on a motorcycle & fighting for a
window seat

__________________________________________________ ____

Did you hear about the sardarji who is so rich he has
two swimming pools, one of which is always empty?
It's for people who can't swim!

__________________________________________________ __

Santa Singh: Will this bus take me to Jalandhar?
Driver: Which part?
Santa Singh: All of me, of course!

__________________________________________________ __

What do you call a Sardarji in a deep well?
A deep thinker..

__________________________________________________

Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, 'Aap ke paas
color TV hai kya?'
'Haan' replies shopowner.
Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!'

_________________________________________________

AT INDO-PAK WAR
Once in the Indo Pakistan war, Pakistan was fighting
fiercely and capturing
everything in sight. A sikh camp called Gurudwara
hideout was crucial to defend from
the pakistanis as it contained all the defence
secrets. The pakistani forces
surrounded the base and the sikhs had thought that
they had lost the battle but,
suddenly out of the bushes jumps Captain. Hari Singh
wearing a Maachar
dani!(mosquito net) He Pulls out his AK-47 rifle and
fires like mad. The pakistanis run
off quickly. The next day Hari Singh gets a medal. His
friends ask him "Yaar thu
maachar daani kyon pehenke gaya tha?" Hari Singh
replies "Maachar daani itni patli
hote hain ki agar maachar nahin ghus sakte, goli kahan
se ghussenghi?

__________________________________________________ _

In the following war Hari Singh retires and his son
Gani Singh No Assumptions
Please!) joins the army. Pakistanis are again
surrounding the Gurudwara hideout, the
sikhs again think they've lost the war but out of the
bushes erupts Gani Singh
wearning nothing he tries do shoo away the pakistanis
like his father did but instead
gets shot. In the hospital his friends tell him "aare
yaar, therre bap me tho itni akal
thi ki vo maachar daani pehin ke gaya tha, aur tu
nunga chale gaya". Gani Singh replies
"aare yaar main tho odomos lage ke gaya tha"!


SARDARJI AND HIS WIFE GOING 2 CITY IN AUTO .
DRIVER ADJUSTED MIRROR .
SARDARJI SHOUTED U R SEEING MY WIFE
GO & SIT BACK ,I WILL DRIVE AUTO




FACT 1 }U CANNOT TOUCH YR LOWER LIPS WITH YR TONGUE....

FACT 2 }AFTER READING THIS 99/1OO IDIOTS WOULD TRY IT ..ALL D BEST

[animateash]

all of u athxn for liking mien posts and yes tukz cool oens an di will b psoitng rmoe sun

lvu ash

[guru_sal]

You must be a good runner because you are always running in my mind,
you must be a good thief because you have stolen my heart,
and I am always a bad shooter because
I Miss You Always...

------------------------------------------------

What L O V E stands for?
L = Lake of Sorrow
O = Ocean of Tears
V = Valley of Death
E = End of life....

------------------------------------------------

Friendship is like a glass
handle it with care
because once broken cannot be mended
and even if mended....
a crack is always there !!!

------------------------------------------------

When Nights are long & Friends are few,
I sit by my Window & think of u.
a silent whisper a silent tear.
with all my Heart i wish you were here.

------------------------------------------------

When I open my eyes every morning i pray to God
that everyone should have a friend like you....
Why should only i suffer!!! ha ha ha

A MEMORY LASTS FOR EVER AND NEVER DOES IT DIE
A TRUE FRND STAYS FOREVER AND NEVER SAY GOOD BYE .

CHAND ADHURA HAI SITARO K BINA .
SAMANDER ADHURA HAI KINARO K BINA
JEEVAN ADHURA HAI AAP JAISE DOST K BINA



DARD JITNA SAHA JAE UTNA HI SEHNA
KISI KE DIL KO LAG JAE WOH BAAT KABHI NA KEHNA
MILTE HAI HUM JAISE LOG BAHUT KAM
ISLIYE KABHI ALVIDA NA KEHNA

[animateash]

hey guru aweseom oen by eth way wat is ur name re


lvu ash

[TIA108DIVA]

Its not necessary for the life to be like this:


God created the donkey
And said to him.
"You will be a donkey. You will work un-tiringly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years."
The donkey answered:
"I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much. Give me only 20 years"
God granted his wish.
.................................................. ......................................
God created the dog
and said to him:
"You will guard the house of man. You will be his best Friend.
You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30 years.
You will be a dog. "The dog answered:
"Sir, to live 30 years is too much, give me only 15 years.
"God granted his wish.
.................................................. ......................................
God created the monkey
and said to him:
"You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks. You will be amusing
and you will live 20 years.
"The monkey answered:
"To live 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years."
God granted his wish.
.................................................. ......................................
Finally God created man
And said to him:
"You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth.
You will use your intelligence to become master over all the animals.
You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years."
Man responded:
"Sir, I will be a man but to live only 20 years is very little,
give me the 30 years that the donkey refused,
the 15 years that the dog did not want and
the 10 years the monkey refused.
"God granted man's wish
.................................................. ......................................
And since then, man lives

20 years as a man,
Marries and spends 30 years like a donkey, working and carrying all the burdens on his back.
Then when his children are grown, he lives 15 years like a dog taking care of the house and eating whatever is given to him,
so that when he is old, he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey, going from house to house and from one son or
daughter to another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.

That's Life. Isn't it?

[TIA108DIVA]

Think b4 u speak

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the last one is great!

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a hole?

Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said,
"I think I like playing with men's balls."

THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!". The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go,
and he said "No".

I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time,
"Danny, did you have an accident?"

This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.

What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Smile all the way....

[TIA108DIVA]

We have all learned to live with "voice mail" as a necessary part of
modern life. But have you wondered, what if God decided to install
voicemail?"

Imagine praying and hearing this:
Hi! Thank you for calling GOD.
Please select one of the following options:

Press 1 for Requests
Press 2 for Thanks
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for All Other Inquiries.

Else wait for our Customer Support Executive.

What if God used the familiar excuse... "I'm sorry, all of our
angels are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer
is
important to us and will be answered in the order it as received, so
please
stay
on the line."

Can you imagine getting these kinds of responses as you call God in
Prayer:

If you would like to speak to Ganeshji, Press 1.
For Lord Hanuman, Press 2.
For Lord Krishna, Sorry He is on Annual Leave!
For a directory of other God's & Angels, Press 3.
If you would like to hear Narad sing a Bhajan while you are holding,
Please
press 4.
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven, Press 5,
enter his or her PAN number, then Press the 0 key.

If you get a negative response, Try area code 420 for (Hell).

Our computers show that you have already prayed once today. Please
hang up and try again tomorrow. This office is closed for the weekend
to
observe a religious holiday.

Please pray again Monday after 9:30 AM. If you need emergency
assistance when this office is closed, contact your local Priest at
your
neighbourhood Temple.

THANK GOD, HE DOESN'T HAVE VOICE MAIL AND LISTENS WHENEVER WE
PRAY!!!!!

[animateash]

hey tai cool oens

lvu ash

[TIA108DIVA]

hey tai cool oens

lvu ash

hey ash r u talking abt me?????? :confused: :confused: :confused:

[animateash]

hey ash r u talking abt me?????? :confused: :confused: :confused:
yesss
s

lvu ash

[tukz]

hey garu n tia kul ons....n ash thnx n ya am w8n 4urs

[tukz]

LISTEN FIRST, BEFORE YOU INTERRUPT
Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and going to the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could not contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother, "Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane........"
At this point Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."
At the dinner table, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny started his story, "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army."

...........Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt.





Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital as he now considered her to be mentally stable. When he went to tell Mary the news he said, "Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses.

The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain.
"Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor."You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman.
"What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."

The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", she cried.

The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, "You have a broken finger."


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


This guy goes into a doctor's office. The doctor says, "Oh, Mr. Jones! We have the results of your test. Do you want the bad news first or the very bad news?" The guy shrugs and says, "Well I guess I'll have the bad news first."

Well the bad news is, you have 24 hours to live," the doctor replies. The man is distraught, "24 hours to live? That's horrible! What could be worse than that? What's the VERY bad news?" The doctor folds his hands and sighs,

"The very bad news is...I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."

[guru_sal]

hey guru aweseom oen by eth way wat is ur name re


lvu ash
hi thakur thankz,
my name is gurpreet .
can u tell me yrs , i know many things about u but i dont know yr name

[guru_sal]

hey tai cool oens

lvu ash
U R D SWEETEST PERSON I HAVE EVER MET
YAKEEN NAHI HOTA NA ? SURAK KI KASAM!!!!
OH MY GOD !!!YEH ANDHERA KYUN HO GAYA !!!!!!!!!!


masterji:kal school kyu nahi aaya?
sardar; gir gaya lag gayithi
masterji:kahan gira aur kahan lagi?
sardr: takiye pe gira aur aankh lag gayi .



jhonny jhonny poem in hydrbd style.
jony jony haao abba ,shakhar khara nahi bawa.
jhoot bolra re potte nahi bawa
mu khol re zaleel ha ha ha

[roohi_ghulati]

Ash, its a nice thread n all ur 10 questions r asked by everyone. Ur answers r also perfect. Its a good thread, i like it. Keep it up.

[guru_sal]

yesss
s

lvu ash
LOG KEHTE HAI KI JOKES ITNE MAT BHEJO
K USKA BHOOT SAVAAR HO JAE
HUM KEHTE HAI K JOKES ITNE BHEJO
KI PADNE WALA SHARAM SE JOKES BHEJNE PE MAJBOOR HO JAE


A TRUE AND CARING FRND DOESNT HAVE 2 SPEAK LOUD
A SOFT MSG IS JUST ENOUGH BCOZ
ITS NOT D MOUTH THAT SPEAKS ,
ITS D HEART THAT FEELS



DUNIYA MEIN BAHUT GAM MILENGE
SACH MANO ACHHE DOST BAHUT KAM MILENGE
JIS MOD PE SAB CHOD DENGE SATH TUMHARA
DOST USI MOD PE KHADE HUM MILENGE

[guru_sal]

all of u athxn for liking mien posts and yes tukz cool oens an di will b psoitng rmoe sun

lvu ash
JO AASANI SE MILE WOH HAI GUM
JO MUSHKIL SE MILE WOH HAI PAISA
JO KISI KISI KO MILE WOH HAI PYAR
JO NASEEB WALO KO MILE WOH HAI AAP JAISI BETI

REACTIONS OF GIRLS WHO LOST THEIR PURSE
POOR GIRLS :OH NO MY MONEY
RICH GIRLS : OH NO MY CREDIT CARDS
BEAUTIFULL GIRLS :OH NO GURPREET KI PHOTO .

GOD ALLOWS LIFE 2 B ROCKY
HIS CHALLENGE IS NOT 2 LET D ROCKS GRIND U INTO DUST
BUT 2 POLISH U 2 BCOME A BRILLIANT GEM
STAY PRECIOUS


''FEW RELATIONS IN EARTH NEVER DIE ''
WANT 2 KNOW WHAT IS IT ?
READ AGAIN .
{F} FEW {R} RELATION {I} IN {E} EARTH {N} NEVER {D} DIE

[guru_sal]

1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice, and heterosexual men are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have no money, are cowards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have money and thank God are straight, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!

11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.


now who teh hell udnerstand smen
SOME FACTS
DREAMT D ONLY WORD THAT ENDS WITH ''MT''

UNDERGROUND D ONLY WORD THAT START AND END WITH ''UND''


THERE IS A 7 LETTER WORD IN ENGLISH LANGUAGE THAT CONTAINS 10 WORDS WITHOUT REARRANGING ANY OF ITS LETTER .''THEREIN''
THE ,THERE , HE , IN , REIN, HER, HERE, THEREIN, HEREIN, ARE

15 LETTER WORD THAT CAN B SPELLED WITHOUT REPEATING A LETTER
''UNCOPYRIGHTABLE''

''SOUTH KOREA'' D ONLY OTHER COUNTRY 2 HAVE INDEPENDENCE ON 15TH AUGUST .




WHAT IS 1 + 1 ? ......................
..................................................
..................................................
SHARAM KARO ISKA BHI ANSWER ISME DHOON RAHE HO .



FRND NAHI TO LIFE WASTE
SALT NAHI TO TERA FOOD WASTE
STORY NAHI TO CINEMA WASTE
MERE JOKES NAHI TO TERA INBOX WASTE

[animateash]

hey guru awesoem eons

lvu ash

[animateash]

WORD SCRABBLE


This has got to be one of the cleverest E-mails received in a while. Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!


DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE


AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay
too much time on their hands! (Probably a son-in-law)

[animateash]

If, A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Equals to
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
Then
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K =8+1+18+24+4+23+15+18+11=98% ONLY
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E=11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5=96%
L+O+V+E=12+15+22+5=54%
L+U+C+K =12+21+3+11=47% (DONT MOST OF US THINK THIS IS MOST IMP??)
THEN WHAT MAKES 100% ?
Is it Money? i.e. = 72% NO !!!
Is it Leadership ? i.e. = 97% NO !!!

Every problem has a solution, only if we perhaps change our attitude to go to the top, to that 100% what we really need to go further........... a bit more...
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


ITS OUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS LIFE AND WORK..

[animateash]

EK sher BY doctor=Hoon mai doctor jahan,meri wife hai nurse waha,Yeh kaisa julm sehna PADTA hai,mujhe apni wife ko SISTER KEHNA PADTA hai..


Jo sagar NE kaha lehron se, Jo ped NE kaha patto se, Jo phoolon NE kaha kaliyon se, wohi main tumhe kehta Hun, aey chal chal hawa aane de


Imraan Hashmi Ne Apni Girlfriend Ko Pehle Apna AASHIQ BANAYA Phir Usne CHOCOLATE Main ZEHER Milakar Uska MURDER Karvaya.Girlfriend Ne Uske AKSAR Khwaab Me Aakar Kaha TUM SA NAHI DEKHA To Imraan Hashmi Ne Kaha Is KALYUG Me JAWANI DIWANI Hai.


HAR KHUSI KO TERI TARAF MOD DENGE, TERE LIYE CHAND TARE TOD DENGE, TERE LIYE KHUSIYON KE DARVAAJE KHOL DENGE, 1 BAAR HAS KE TO DIKHA TERE SAARE DAAT TOD DENGE HA..HA..HA..


Ek aishwaarya thi deewani is shahrukh pe wo marti thi, najre jhukake,Sharma ke hritik ki galiyo se gujarti thi, chori chori salman ko chittiya likha karti thi kuch kahena tha shayad ajay se par na Jane kis se darti thi jab bhi milti thi vivek se hamesha pucha karti thi imran kaisa hai


Basanti: Bhaag Dhanno bhag, aaj teri Basanti ki izzat ka sawal hai. Dhanno: Tujhe apni padi hai. Meri soch jiske peeche Gabbar ke 10 ghode pade hain


Jab hota hai tera didar,Dil dhadkta hai baar-baar Jab hota hai tera didar,Dil dhadkta hai baar-baar .....Aadat se majboor ho tum Jane kab maang lo udhaar


Gulaab ko bhi Kamal bana deter,Uski ek Ada pe Kai gazal bana dete...Kambhakt marti nahi mujh par ladkiyaan,Warna LUCKNOW me bhi TAJMAHAL bana dete...


Aaj kuch gahbraye se lagte ho,Thand mein kampkapaye se lagte ho... Nikhar kar aayi hai surat aapki,Bahut dino baad nahaye se lagte ho...Good Morning...


Girlfriend Ko I LUV U Bolna Hai? Balance Khatam ? Ab Kya Karoge ? Kabutar K Gale Mein Bandh K CHITTHI Bhejoge ? Nahi Na.......... Main Batata Hoon Kya Karna Hai.... Girlfriend Ka Number Mujhe De Doge Main I LUV U Boldeta Hoon!


Hamari tumahari dosti duniya ke liye ek mishl hai tumhe dekha to esa laga kya mal hai is mal ko pane ke liye bichaya jal hai pa kambhakat collage ka akhiri sal hai


I l I lo I lov I love I love you... I love you the most. I love you the best. I love you a lot.. Bcoz MENAKA GANDHI said People should LOVE animals


Ladkiyon ke college me strike thi,Ladke bhi unke saath the..Ladkiyon NE naara lagaya...HUMARI MAANGE Pichhe se awaaz aayi SINDHUR SE BHARO....


Gunghat Mein Tujhe Dekha To Deewanna Hua, Sangeet Ka Taraana Hua, Shamaa Ka Parwana Hua, Masti Ka mastaana Hua, Jaise Hi Gunghat Uthaya Is Duniya Se Ravana Hua


Chand pe kali ghata to aati to hogi,Sitaaron ko muskurahat aati to hogi.Tum laakh chupao duniya se magar,Akele me tumhe apni shakal pe hansi aati to hogi

[animateash]

Today's Joke: Difference between Love and Marriage
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.

Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children.

Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is arrive on tops curvy tarmac .

Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

Tv has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for remote control.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".

Conclusion: "Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Visual Joke: The different types of Cakes...
~~~~~~~~~~~~

http://www.funtoosh.com?dj.php?details=A11~393

[TIA108DIVA]

hey garu n tia kul ons....n ash thnx n ya am w8n 4urs


thanx a lot tukz !!! :)

[TIA108DIVA]

hey tai cool oens

lvu ash


thanx ash !!!!!!!! :)

[TIA108DIVA]

BRILLIANT WAYS GIRLS

TURN GUYS DOWN!!



HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like
yours!!



HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!!





HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been given your share!!!





HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!!!





HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!





HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!!!

[TIA108DIVA]

A man in USA sees a dog abt to bite a lady. He kicks the dog to death. News paper reports: US CITIZEN SAVES LADY FROM DOG! Man says I am not US citizen. So the report is changed: FOREIGN HERO SAVES LADY FROM DOG. Man says actually I am from Pakistan. Next day headlines : TERRORIST ATTACKS LOCAL DOG!

[TIA108DIVA]

In one interview

officer--------------- what is ur name?
candidate--------- m.p.sir
officer--------------- tell me properly
candidate----------Mohan pal sir

offcer ---------------ur father's name?
candidate----------m.p. sir
officer---------------what does that mean?
candidate----------manmohan pal sir

officer----------------ur native place
candidate----------m.p.sir
officer----------------is it madhya pradesh?
candidate-----------no, munnur pal sir

officer----------------what is ur qualification?
candidate----------m.p. sir
officer-----------------(angrily) what is it?
candidate------------metric pass

officer------------------why do u need a job?
candidate-------------m.p. sir
officer-------------------and what does that mean?
candidate---------------money problem sir

officer---------------------describe ur personality
candidate---------------m.p. sir
officer---------------------explain urself clearly
candidate--------------magnanimous personality sir

officer-------------------this discussion is nowhere, you may go now
candidate--------------m.p. sir?

officer-------------------what is it now
candidate----------------my performance...?
officer---------------------m.p!!!!!
candidate---------------what is that sir
officer----------------------mentally punctured

[TIA108DIVA]

errors by putting a fullstop !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A wife writes a letter to her husband. But in a hurry she forgets to put any fullstop in the letter. After realizing what she has done she immediately rectifies her error by putting a fullstop by guess at various places in the letter. This is what coms out ultimately:


Priye Ram,

Sadar Pranam.

Aapne kai dinon se koi patra nahin likha meri saheli Pooja ko. Naukri se nikal diya hai hamari gai ne. Bachra diya hai uncle ji ne. Cigarette pini shuru kar di hai maine.Bahut patra dale pur tum nahin aaye kabootar ke bache.Billi kha gaye hai ghee.****ti se aate samay le aana ek khoobsoorat aurat. Meri saheli ban gayi hai Manisha Koirala.Is waqt TV pur dance ker rahi hai hamari murgi.Bech di hai tumhari maa.Tumhein yaad karti hai padosan.Mujhe tang karti hai hamari jamin. Sarson ug aai hai chachi ji ke sir pur.Phora ho gaya hai mere paun mein.Chot lag gaye hai tumhari chitthi ko.Har waqt tarasti hun Ramesh ke liye.Sandesh hai ki weih bhi saath mein aaye nahin.To mein naaraz ho jayoongi bhaiya se.Zarroor milker aana.

[animateash]

hey tia cool ones

[tukz]

hey tia kul jst luvd dem

*GERMS *




Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called?
Student: I don't know.




Teacher: They r called Turks, now What r the people of Germany called?
Student: They r called Germs.




_______________________________________







*NEVER MESS WITH CHILDREN*




A class teacher of primary,one day braught a camera along with her to have some group photos of the childeren.




One student asked "Mam why did you braught that camera?"the teacher exclaimed "to have our some group photos,so that,



And when you people grown up these photos will make you to recall your childhood,and you will show it to your friends or relatives that see this is Martin he is now a Lawer and this is Rick he is a doctor now and this is Maria and she is a Journalist now",




Certainly a voice came forward from the back and "this is our class teacher she is dead now."




_______________________________________







* STUPID*




A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"



After a few seconds, little Santa Singh stood up.



The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Santa?" >



"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!" >




_______________________________________







*ESSAY*




Jimmy's English teacher was a perfectionist and demanded the very best of his pupils. So it was only to be expected that he would get furious when Little Jimmy handed in a poor paper.




"This is the worst essay it has ever been my misfortune to read," ranted the teacher. "It has too many mistakes. I can't understand how one person would have made all these mistakes."




"One person didn't," replied Little Jimmy defensively. "My father helped me."




_______________________________________







*CHEMISTRY*




The chemistry teacher was berating the students for not learning the Periodic Table of the Elements.



She said "Why when I was your age I knew both their names and weights."



One kid popped up, "Yeah... But teach, there were so few of them back then."







_______________________________________







One student couldn't be motivated to take an interest in science at all. He said, "I plan to go into the business.
Name me one thing science has done to help business."




The teacher shot back, "And just where would the belt industry be without the law of gravity."

[tukz]

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it
Seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an
Hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S Relativity.
- Albert Einstein
-------------------------------------
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working
The moment you get up in the morning and does not
Stop until you get into the office.
- Robert Frost
-------------------------------------
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's
There to appreciate it.
- Franklin P. Jones
-------------------------------------
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain
The success of those we don't like?
- Jean Cocturan
-------------------------------------
It matters not whether you win or lose; what
Matters is whether I win or lose.
- Darrin Weinberg
-------------------------------------
Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome.
-------------------------------------
Help a man when he is in trouble and he will
Remember you when he is
In trouble again.
-------------------------------------
Complex problems have simple, easy to understand
Wrong answers.
-------------------------------------
It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it
Creative problem solving.
-------------------------------------
Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know
Where to shop.
-------------------------------------
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again,
Neither does milk.
-------------------------------------
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to
Shoot them.
-------------------------------------
Forgive your enemies but remember their names.
-------------------------------------
The number of people watching you is directly
Proportional to the stupidity of your action.

[luv_remix]

this is a relly kool 1 best suited fr diwali.........................


A young second generation Indian in the US was asked by his mother to
explain the significance of "Diwali" to his younger brother, this is
how
he went about it...

" So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him.
But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kind of a bitch, and she
forced her husband to, like, send this cool-dude, he was Ram, to some
national forest or something...

Since he was going, for like, something like more than 10 years or so..
he decided to get his wife and his bro along... you know..so that they
could all chill out together. But Dude, the forest was reeeeal scary ...



really man... they had monkeys and devils and
like that. But this dude, Ram, kicked ass with darts and bows and
arrows... so it was fine.

But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his
babe (Sita). And boy, was our man, and also
his bro, Laxman,... all the gods were with
him... So anyways,you don't mess with gods. So, Ram, and his bro get
an army of monkeys..Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn
monkeys... just go along with me, ok...

So, Ram, Lax and their monkeys whip this gangsta's in his own hood.
Anyways, by this time, their time's up in the forest..and anyways...it
gets kinda boring,you know... no TV or malls or
like that. So,they decided to hitch a ride back home... and when the
people realize that our dude, his bro and the wife are back home... they
thought, well, you
know, at least they deserve something nice... and they didn't have any
bars
or clubs in those days... so they couldn't take them
out for a drink, so they, like, decided to smoke and ...and since
they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps also... so it was pretty
cooool...you know
with all those fireworks... Really, they even had some local band play
along
with the fireworks... and you know, what, dude, that was the very first,
no kidding.., that was the very first music-synchronized fireworks...
you
know, like the 4th of July stuff, but just, more cooler and stuff, you
know. And, so dude, that was how, like, this festival
started................'


:D :D :D

[TIA108DIVA]

hey tia cool ones

thanx ashni !!!!!!!

[guru_sal]

Today's Joke: Difference between Love and Marriage
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.

Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children.

Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is arrive on tops curvy tarmac .

Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

Tv has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for remote control.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".

Conclusion: "Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Visual Joke: The different types of Cakes...
~~~~~~~~~~~~

http://www.funtoosh.com?dj.php?details=A11~393
hi ash , nice ones

I TRUSTED U LOT BCOZ U R CLOSE 2 ME
BUT Y DO U TALK BEHIND MY BACK?
Y DO U TELL ME FRANKLY
Y R U TELLING EVERYBODY THAT
I'M BORN GENIUS.........


LIFE CAN B HARD NOT ALWAYS FUN
WEN NITE BRINGS DARK AND MORNING BRINGS SUN
WEN LIFE SEEMS TUF AND NOBODY SEEMS 2 CARE
DIL SE YAAD KARNA I'LL B THERE


JUST CHECK ...............
AB EF IJ MN KL
OP CD GH ST
XYZ QR .
DO I MISS SOMETHING ?
YES I AM MISSING ''U''



E DOST TU BHI LIKHAKAR SHAYARI
MERI TARAH TERA BHI NAAM HO JAYEGA
LOG FEKENGE PYAZ TAMATOR
MERI TARAH TERA BHI
SHAM KI SABJI KA INTEZAM HO JAYEGA.

[guru_sal]

thanx ashni !!!!!!!
dil mein bassa hai pyar tera
aankhon mein bassi hai tasveer teri
jab bhi yaad aati hai hume teri
hum dekhte hai tom and jerry



RAM : HEY DO U KNOW THAT MY ROBOT CAN WALK ?
SHAM :THATS NOTHING ,MY REFRIGERATOR CAN RUN




TEACHER:CHILDREN TELL ME WHO HAS
BETTER EYESIGHT ,A MAN OR
A BIRD
PUPIL: SIR A BIRD .
TEACHER: Y ?
PUPIL : HAVE U EVER SEEN A BIRD
WITH SPECTACLES!



Y DOES ADNAN SAMI SINGS GILA GILA
BCOZ HUGGIES DOES NOT COME IN ELEPHANT SIZE

[TIA108DIVA]

Haircuts -- The Difference Between Men and Women

Women's version:
---------------------------
Woman2: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman1: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she was gave me the
mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?
Woman2: Oh God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like
that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this
stuff I think.
Woman1: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could
easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I
was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent
my long neck.
Woman2: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything
to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.
Woman1: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your
shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms -
see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to
fit me so much easier.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Men's version:
----------------------
Man2: Haircut?
Man1: Yeah.

[TIA108DIVA]

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA.
A few days later he got this reply:



Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence.
No phone call shall be entertained.Thanks
Bill Gates.




Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply.
He arranged a press conference : "Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai."
Everyone was delighted. Laloo prasad continued...... "Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ? par letter angreeze main hai - isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.



Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ----- Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya
You do not meet -----aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement ----- humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----- ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.
No phone call ----- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained ----- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks ----- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.
Bill Gates. ---- Tohar Bilva.

[style_ashitia]

hey guru and diva awsome ones dear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[TIA108DIVA]

hey guru and diva awsome ones dear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Hey thanx Ruhi darling !!! But why dont u call me by my name ?????? My actual name is Tia only !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[animateash]

hey tia and guru cool oens

[TIA108DIVA]

hey tia and guru cool oens

thanx !!!!!!!!

[guru_sal]

hey guru and diva awsome ones dear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hey thankz

[guru_sal]

hey tia and guru cool oens
hey aashni thankzz

[guru_sal]

hey tia and guru cool oens
S:SOPHISTICATED
I: INTELLIGENT
K:KINDHEARTED
H:HAPPINESS
S:SENSIBLE
ALL D FEATURES WE HAVE THATS Y WE R CALLED ''SIKHS''


MOVIES RELATED 2 COLLEDGE
EXAM :SOCHA NA THA
CLASS:KABHI KABHI
PAPER:RAAZ
COPYING:MAJBOOR
MARKS:ASAMBHAV
FINAL EXAM:MURDER
PAAS: AJUBA
FAIL: PHIR MILENGE


ROSES R LAL SKY IS NEELA
YR BRAIN IS LIKE KHALI PATILA
BURA MAAN LIA NA
OK
ROSES R RED SKY IS BLUE
I'M BORN SMART WAT D HELL HAPPENED TO U



R + CAT +SHOE - RAT +SUN -CHOSE +MOON +
I -NOON +GOAL+T -GOAT-U +E
DONT GET CONFUSED .
U CAN CUT +R & -R LIKE THAT +C &-C AND U WILL GET THE ANSWER
''' SMILE ''

[animateash]

hey aashni thankzz
welcoem and cool ones

[divyaashimix]

S:SOPHISTICATED
I: INTELLIGENT
K:KINDHEARTED
H:HAPPINESS
S:SENSIBLE
ALL D FEATURES WE HAVE THATS Y WE R CALLED ''SIKHS''


MOVIES RELATED 2 COLLEDGE
EXAM :SOCHA NA THA
CLASS:KABHI KABHI
PAPER:RAAZ
COPYING:MAJBOOR
MARKS:ASAMBHAV
FINAL EXAM:MURDER
PAAS: AJUBA
FAIL: PHIR MILENGE


ROSES R LAL SKY IS NEELA
YR BRAIN IS LIKE KHALI PATILA
BURA MAAN LIA NA
OK
ROSES R RED SKY IS BLUE
I'M BORN SMART WAT D HELL HAPPENED TO U



R + CAT +SHOE - RAT +SUN -CHOSE +MOON +
I -NOON +GOAL+T -GOAT-U +E
DONT GET CONFUSED .
U CAN CUT +R & -R LIKE THAT +C &-C AND U WILL GET THE ANSWER
''' SMILE ''


hey GURU..
that was rokking man !!!!!!

[guru_sal]

hey GURU..
that was rokking man !!!!!!
thankz yaar but what is yr name

[divyaashimix]

thankz yaar but what is yr name
my NAME is DIVYA............
you can also call me LIL AASHI !!!!!!!

[style_ashitia]

hey guru cool ones yaar!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tukz]

hey guru kul 1 yaar

[tukz]

hey luv_remix n tia urs r kul too

[guru_sal]

hey guru kul 1 yaar
hey thankz

[guru_sal]

hey guru cool ones yaar!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hey thankz .

[guru_sal]

welcoem and cool ones
def'n of friend
F FIRST
R RELATIVE
I IN
E EVERY
N NEW
D DIFFICULTY


U MAY HAVE
SOME1 IN YR MIND
SOME1 IN YR HEART
SOME1 IN YR DREAMS
SOME1 IN YR LIFE
BUT I AM YR SOME1
WEN U HAVE NO ONE
'' FRIEND FOR EVER ''



FRIENDSHIP IS LIKE A WAR
EASY TO START
DIFFICULT TO END
IMPOSSIBLE TO FORGET
SO I'M ON A WAR WITH U
WILL NEVER LEAVE U IN PEACE


ZAKHAM + YOU = MARHAM
TANHAYEE + YOU = MEHFIL
TEARS +YOU = SMILE
RASTA +YOU = MANJIL
NOTHING +YOU = EVERYTHING
ME + YOU = F.R.I.E.N.D.S.



MY FRIENDSHIP HAS GOT INFINITE LAYERS
JUST LIKE ONIONS .
U MAY NOT BE ABLE TO COUNT IT.
BUT WEN U'LL TRY TO CUT IT ,
U'LL HAVE TEARS IN YR EYES

[guru_sal]

hey guru kul 1 yaar
KHIDKI KHULI JULFE KHULI
MAINE SOCHA KISMAT KHULI
PAR DIN ITWAAR THA
KHULI JULPHON WALA SARDAR THA




DUR SE DEKHA TO SHER THA ,
DUR SE DEKHA TO SHER THA ....

TO PAAS JANE KA SAWAAL
HI NAHI PAIDA HOTA ...



THE DIFFERENCE BET WEEN SMILE AND YR FACE
IS THAT THE SMILE IS SOMETHING NICE TO SEE
ON YR FACE ,BUT YR FACE IS SOMETHING NICE
TO SEE ALWAYS EVEN WITHOUT SMILE !




WHAT COMES ONCE A MINUTE ,TWICE IN MOMENT ,
BUT NEVER IN THOUSAND YEARS ?

LETTER 'M'

[guru_sal]

hey guru cool ones yaar!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LETTER AFTER F + HALF OF 8 +
OPPOSITE OF SMALL B +
LETTER BFORE C +OPPOSITE OF 7 +
MIDDLE OF SEA +19th LETTER *2 {multiply} +u

answer is ''GOD BLESS U''




ROHIT KE DAD KA NAAM RAJU HAI
TO RAJU ROHIT KE DAD KA ...... HAI .
KYA HAI ?
....
....
....PLZ DONT SEE AHE ANSWER BFORE TRYING .ITS EASY .
.
.
.....
.....
......
......
......
.....
.....
......
/??????
???????????
??????????????
???????????????
ANSWER IS ''NAAM HAI''




RICH MAN NEEDS........
POOR MAN NEEDS ........
IF U EAT ......... U DIE
ONE SAME WORD FITS IN ALL THE THREE BLANKS .
I WILL NOT FILL THIS ANSWER
U HAVE TO TELL .ITS EASY JUST THINK IT U CAN GET THE ANSWER .
ANYONE WANTS TO TRY ............PLZ TRY IT





EK.....LADKA.....PAR BAITH KAR .....GEET GA RAHA THA ?
1 SAME WORD FITS IN ALL
I ALSO DONT KNOW THIS ANSWER .CAN NE 1 TELL ME

[guru_sal]

welcoem and cool ones
TUSSI- BRILLIANT ,HANDSOME ,
GENIUS , SMART NICE INTELLIGENT COOL
SOHNE PUNJABI GABRU
SARDAR DA MSG PAD RAHE HO




TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR
U SHOULD KNOW WHAT U R
IF U KNOW WHAT U R
THE MENTLE HOSPITAL IS NOT SO FAR




TEACHER2 STUDENTS
A=B= B=C SO THAT A=C
NOW TELL ME AN EXAMPLE JUST LIKE THAT
A STUDENT :I LOVE U ,U LOV YR DAUGHTER
SO THAT I LUV YR DAUGHTER



GOD NE AAPKO BHEJA TO BHEJA
PAR BHEJA TO AISA BHEJA KE
BHEJE MAIN BHEJA NAHI BHEJA
YE MUJHE KISI AUR NE BHEJA
ISLIYE MAINE AAPKO BHEJA




WEN THINGS GO WRONG ,
WEN SADNESS FAILS YR HEART
WEN TEARS FLOW FRM YR EYES
ALWAYS REMEMBER THREE THINGS .
1} I'M WITH U
2} U HAVE CASH
3] LETS PARTY



KAJU ,PISTA ,BADAM ,AKHROT ,
ALL R VERY TASTY .
BUT THY HAV NO COMPARISON WITH U
BCOZ KHAJUR KI BAAT HI AUR HAI

[guru_sal]

my NAME is DIVYA............
you can also call me LIL AASHI !!!!!!!
thankz lil ashi
hey i want to ask that no 1 has given the answer 2 this ques

u have to give answer in yes or no
1}..... i dont have brain
2} .....i dont have sense
3] ..... i am stuped
hey guys i dont know the answer .can ne 1 help me

[guru_sal]

dete ho kyu ye dard bas humi ko
kya samjhoge tum in aankho ki namhi ko
yun to hoge lakho dewane is chand ke
chand kya mehsus karega ek tare ki kami ko



many hands i shake
many frnds i make
best of them is few
one of them is u uu uu uu uuuuuuuuuuuuuu




what will a guy sing after getting
marriage proposal frm rich girl ?
''agar tum mil jao kamaana chod denge hum ''



sardr raat ko sote waqt apne
saat 2 paani k glass rakhta hai .
ek khali aur ek bhara .
kyuki pyass lag bhi sakti hai or nahi bhi

[guru_sal]

to love without condition
to talk without intention
to give without reason
and to care without expectation
IS THE HEART OF TRUE RELATION



V NEED 101 REASONS TO LUV SOME1
N JUST ONE REASON TO HATE SOME1
BUT 2 HAVE FRND LIKE U
I DONT NEED ANY REASON
I CAN JUST SAY
''MERI MAT MARI GAYI THI''




HAR GALI HAR MOD PE TUMHARA NAAM HAI
UPPER LIKHA HAI
CHAPPLE CHOD AUR NICHE PAACH RUPEE KA INAAM HAI



SANTA BANTA KO 3 TIME BOMB MILE
POLICE KO DENE CHALE ,
SANTA :AGAR BPMB RAASTE PE PHAT GAYA TO
BANTA: JHOOT BOL DENGE KI DO HI MILE THE

[guru_sal]

Bevkof Murakh Matlabi
Dhokebhaj Chugalkhor Jhuthe
Makkar .............. Ishwar Aapko In Sabi
Logo Se Door Rakhe .




Mayawati Came To Lalus Housewith A Goat
Lalu : Bhaiswa Ko Kyu Sath Laya Ho ?
Maya Dikhta Nahi , Goatwa Hai ?
Lalu :hum Goatwa Se Hi Puch Raha Hun





Qayamat K Din Jab Farishton Ne Sab Se Kaha
Apne Apne Gunah Paper Pe Likho
K Achanak Aap Ki Awaj Aai
''extra Sheet Plzzzzzz '''


Warning :cell Phone Causes Radiation
And It Resultys In Brain Damage
But U R Safe
It Only Effects People With Brains
How Lucky U R !!

[style_ashitia]

hey guru seriously sahi hai yaar keep posting!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[guru_sal]

kab milenge aapse yeh khayal karte hai
aap jaise dost pe hum marte hai
ho na jaye hum pagal hum darte hai
kya kare aap itne pyare jo lagte hai .




sardar to sir :i am going ka kya matlab hai ?
sir : main ja raha hoon .
sardar :sir jate jate matlab to bata dijiye



1 deaf to another ...
1st - r u going to market ?
2nd - no i'm going to market .
1st - oh! i think u r going to market .

[guru_sal]

attraction happens many times
lov happens sometimes
marriage may happen one time
but a good frnd like ''U'' happens once in a lifetime




wenever i miss u a star falls frm the sky
so one day if u find the sky empty
dont blame me
its all yr fault coz u made me miss u so much




i like 3 things
pizza pepsi and u
pizza to eat pepsi to drink and
u to plate koun saaf karega



shayari by santa ; ek ladki ko dekha to aisa laga
duusri ladki ko dekha to waisa laga
par jab dono ne thapad mara
to ek jaisa laga

[animateash]

gud oen guru

[style_ashitia]

hey guru nice one!!!!!!!!!!

[TIA108DIVA]

If I.T. people start producing movies, some film titles may be like these :

1. Hang To Hona Hi Tha !!!!!!!!!!!!

2. Meri Disc Tumhare Paas Hai

3. Aao Chat Kare

4. Programmer No.1

5. Mera Naam Developer

6. Java Wale Job Le Jayenge

7. Hum Apke Memory Mein Rehte Hein

8. Do Processor Baarah Terminal

9. Tera Code Chal Gaya

10. Har Din Jo Mail Karega

11. Network Ke Us Paar

12. Debugging Koi Khel Nahi

13. Jish Desh Mein Bill Gates Rehta Hai

14. Raju Ban Gaya MCSE .!

15. Client Ek Numbari Programmer Dus Numbari

16. Login Karo Sajana

18. Naukar PC Ka

19. 1942 -- A Bug Story

20. Kaho Na Virus Hai

21. Crash Se Crash Tak

22. Haan Maine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai

23. Password De Ke Dekho

24. Terminal Apna Login Parayi

25. Mr. Network Lal

[guru_sal]

If I.T. people start producing movies, some film titles may be like these :

1. Hang To Hona Hi Tha !!!!!!!!!!!!

2. Meri Disc Tumhare Paas Hai

3. Aao Chat Kare

4. Programmer No.1

5. Mera Naam Developer

6. Java Wale Job Le Jayenge

7. Hum Apke Memory Mein Rehte Hein

8. Do Processor Baarah Terminal

9. Tera Code Chal Gaya

10. Har Din Jo Mail Karega

11. Network Ke Us Paar

12. Debugging Koi Khel Nahi

13. Jish Desh Mein Bill Gates Rehta Hai

14. Raju Ban Gaya MCSE .!

15. Client Ek Numbari Programmer Dus Numbari

16. Login Karo Sajana

18. Naukar PC Ka

19. 1942 -- A Bug Story

20. Kaho Na Virus Hai

21. Crash Se Crash Tak

22. Haan Maine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai

23. Password De Ke Dekho

24. Terminal Apna Login Parayi

25. Mr. Network Lal
hey tia cool ones

[guru_sal]

hey guru seriously sahi hai yaar keep posting!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thankz yaar koi to pad ta hai

[guru_sal]

gud oen guru
hey aashni thankz
have u read pg 134
ne ways yr siggy is brilliant . how do u do that .
can ne 1 tell aap log ko pics kahan se milti hai of ASHI TIA RANVEER and YUVI

[guru_sal]

hey hi to all of u

no one replied abut the answer to this ques

RICH MAN NEEDS ......
POOR MAN HAS .......
IF U EAT ...... THAN U DIE
1 SAME WORD FITS IN ALL D THREE BLANKS '

CAN NE1 WOULD TRY IT . . TRY TO KARO YAAR

[guru_sal]

how to make a kid extremely
smart ,intelligent ,active
sweet lovable ,and handsome ??
ask my grand parents



time is like a river u cant touch the same water twice
BCOZ the flow that has passed will never paas again
so enjoy every moment of life .

[guru_sal]

hi wat r u doing ?
thinking about me
how sweet .
i am also doing the same thing .
thinking about myself



A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O
P Q R S T [..} V W X Y Z .
DID I MISS SOMETHING ?
NO ! I PUT U SAFE IN MY HEART



do u know today is d
birthday of donald duck
wish him happy b'day
and send dis to all cartoons
just like i did

[mesweety4u2000]

hey hi to all of u

no one replied abut the answer to this ques

RICH MAN NEEDS ......
POOR MAN HAS .......
IF U EAT ...... THAN U DIE
1 SAME WORD FITS IN ALL D THREE BLANKS '

CAN NE1 WOULD TRY IT . . TRY TO KARO YAAR

hey not getting yaar plz giv the ans na
and guyz i hav completed 100 posts

[divyaashimix]

hi wat r u doing ?
thinking about me
how sweet .
i am also doing the same thing .
thinking about myself



A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O
P Q R S T [..} V W X Y Z .
DID I MISS SOMETHING ?
NO ! I PUT U SAFE IN MY HEART



do u know today is d
birthday of donald duck
wish him happy b'day
and send dis to all cartoons
just like i did

hey kool one !!!!!!!!!

[guru_sal]

hey kool one !!!!!!!!!
hey thankz yaar

[guru_sal]

hey not getting yaar plz giv the ans na
and guyz i hav completed 100 posts
congrats for 100 posts . and do u know today i'll complete 50
i'll tell u the answer .

[guru_sal]

Happiness Always Looks Small
If U Hold It In Yr Hand
But Wen U Learn To Share It
U'll Realize How Big And Precious It Is
Be Precious




Thread Asked D Candle
Y U Dissolve Yrself Wen I Burn
Candle Said Wen Those Who R In My Heart Suffer
I Am Bound To Shed Tears .thats Frndship .

[animateash]

MEN ARE BETTER FRIENDS!





Women: A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, the very next morning, she tells her husband that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment over night. The husband calls 10 of her best girlfriend’s and none of them confirm that.





Men: A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends: 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming that he still is there with them!





Conclusion of the story: Men are better friends!!!!

[guru_sal]

MEN ARE BETTER FRIENDS!





Women: A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, the very next morning, she tells her husband that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment over night. The husband calls 10 of her best girlfriend’s and none of them confirm that.





Men: A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends: 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming that he still is there with them!





Conclusion of the story: Men are better friends!!!!

hey ashni cool one

[guru_sal]

HI TO ALL
I THINK NO ONE HAS READ Pg 134 .

[guru_sal]

[COLOR="Red"]YE JO THREAD AAP PAD RAHE HAI NA
YE SIRF JOKES PADNE K LIYE NAHI HAI
ISMEIN JOKES POST BHI HOTE HAI .
TRY KARKE DEKHO.............



DIL SE HUM DILAGI KIYA NAHI KARTE
YEH DIL KISI KO DIYA NAHI KARTE
DIL KO AAP AUR AAPKA THREAD PASAND AA GAYA
WARNA HUM KISI KO ITNE JOKES POST KIYA NAHI KARTE



EE DOST TU JITNA ACHCHI NIBHATA HAI YAARI
USKI MUJHE PUURI HAI JANKAARI
TO FIR DIKHA APNI DILDARI AUR
BHEJ ITNE JOKES KI AANI NA PAYE MERI BAARI

[guru_sal]

Hey Guys sorry Agar Bura Laga To

[guru_sal]

MAN ALWAYS STIVE TO REMAIN HAPPY
BUT HE FORGETS THOSE
WHO HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO HIS HAPPINESS



A WELLWISHER IS NEVER MEASURED
BY D NUMBER OF TIMES HE MADE U LAUGH
BUT BY D NUMBER OF TIMES HE MADE U
SMILE AFTER U CRIED ... MAY U B HAPPY



THOUGHT FROM LEGEND
WHAT IS EDUCATION ?
EDUCATION IS WASTING ONE FOURTH OF YOUR LIFE
LEARNING HOW TO WASTE THE REST THREE FOURTH OF LIFE
{HOW MANY OF U R AGREE WITH THIS }
I AM NOT AGREE . NOW ITS YOUR TURN .....................




TRUE THOUGHT :
ZARA SOCHO AGAR YE THREAD PE
JOKES PADNE KE PAISE LAGTE
TO KYA HOTA ? ....
TO ASHNI , TIA , MERE ,etc, FRIENDS
HAMARA MURDER KARNE KA PLAN BANARE HOTE

[guru_sal]

hey guys dont forget to read pg 136 the last one

[guru_sal]

A DAY WILL COME WEN THE WHOLE WORLD
WILL CELEBRATE YOUR PERSONALITY
YOUR THOUGHTS ,YR IDEAS ,YR TALENT ,YR SMARTNESS
THAT DAY WILL BE 1st APRIL



AAPKO YADON SE FURSAT NAHI MILTI
EK PAL K LIYE BHI RAAHAT NAHI MILTI
MAI TO JAANA HAI SAB KUCH
PAR AAPKI AKAL AAPKI SHAKAL SE NAHI MILTI



KAGAJ PE HAMNE ZINDGI LIKH DI
ASHKON SE SEENCH HAR KHUSHI LIKH DI
DARD JAB HAMNE UBHARA LAFZO PE
TO LOGO NE KAHA WAH KYA GAZAL LIKH DI .......

[guru_sal]

MAN ALWAYS STIVE TO REMAIN HAPPY
BUT HE FORGETS THOSE
WHO HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO HIS HAPPINESS



A WELLWISHER IS NEVER MEASURED
BY D NUMBER OF TIMES HE MADE U LAUGH
BUT BY D NUMBER OF TIMES HE MADE U
SMILE AFTER U CRIED ... MAY U B HAPPY



THOUGHT FROM LEGEND
WHAT IS EDUCATION ?
EDUCATION IS WASTING ONE FOURTH OF YOUR LIFE
LEARNING HOW TO WASTE THE REST THREE FOURTH OF LIFE
{HOW MANY OF U R AGREE WITH THIS }
I AM NOT AGREE . NOW ITS YOUR TURN .....................




TRUE THOUGHT :
ZARA SOCHO AGAR YE THREAD PE
JOKES PADNE KE PAISE LAGTE
TO KYA HOTA ? ....
TO ASHNI , TIA , MERE ,etc, FRIENDS
HAMARA MURDER KARNE KA PLAN BANARE HOTE

[animateash]

hey athxn gurua nd cool ones

[style_ashitia]

hey guru cool ones..............

[guru_sal]

hey athxn gurua nd cool ones
WELCOME YAAR .
BUT FOR WHAT
AND THANKZ .THIS IS FOR YR COMMENT

[guru_sal]

hey guru cool ones..............
HEY THANKZ .

[guru_sal]

Hey I Forgot .
Best Of Luck For Yr Exam

[divyaashimix]

hey GURU,
all the jokes rokkkk!!!!!!!!!!:D

[guru_sal]

hey GURU,
all the jokes rokkkk!!!!!!!!!!:D
yeh thankz

[abhilasha]

def'n of friend
F FIRST
R RELATIVE
I IN
E EVERY
N NEW
D DIFFICULTY


U MAY HAVE
SOME1 IN YR MIND
SOME1 IN YR HEART
SOME1 IN YR DREAMS
SOME1 IN YR LIFE
BUT I AM YR SOME1
WEN U HAVE NO ONE
'' FRIEND FOR EVER ''



FRIENDSHIP IS LIKE A WAR
EASY TO START
DIFFICULT TO END
IMPOSSIBLE TO FORGET
SO I'M ON A WAR WITH U
WILL NEVER LEAVE U IN PEACE


ZAKHAM + YOU = MARHAM
TANHAYEE + YOU = MEHFIL
TEARS +YOU = SMILE
RASTA +YOU = MANJIL
NOTHING +YOU = EVERYTHING
ME + YOU = F.R.I.E.N.D.S.



MY FRIENDSHIP HAS GOT INFINITE LAYERS
JUST LIKE ONIONS .
U MAY NOT BE ABLE TO COUNT IT.
BUT WEN U'LL TRY TO CUT IT ,
U'LL HAVE TEARS IN YR EYES
KOOL ONES,GURU!!!!!!!!:D
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK:)
GUYS, I HAVE COMPLETED 232 POSTS

[divyaashimix]

def'n of friend
F FIRST
R RELATIVE
I IN
E EVERY
N NEW
D DIFFICULTY


U MAY HAVE
SOME1 IN YR MIND
SOME1 IN YR HEART
SOME1 IN YR DREAMS
SOME1 IN YR LIFE
BUT I AM YR SOME1
WEN U HAVE NO ONE
'' FRIEND FOR EVER ''



FRIENDSHIP IS LIKE A WAR
EASY TO START
DIFFICULT TO END
IMPOSSIBLE TO FORGET
SO I'M ON A WAR WITH U
WILL NEVER LEAVE U IN PEACE


ZAKHAM + YOU = MARHAM
TANHAYEE + YOU = MEHFIL
TEARS +YOU = SMILE
RASTA +YOU = MANJIL
NOTHING +YOU = EVERYTHING
ME + YOU = F.R.I.E.N.D.S.



MY FRIENDSHIP HAS GOT INFINITE LAYERS
JUST LIKE ONIONS .
U MAY NOT BE ABLE TO COUNT IT.
BUT WEN U'LL TRY TO CUT IT ,
U'LL HAVE TEARS IN YR EYES
KOOL ONES,GURU!!!!!!!!:D
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK:)
GUYS, I HAVE COMPLETED 232 POSTS


hey ABHILASHA......
kool ones....

[guru_sal]

def'n of friend
F FIRST
R RELATIVE
I IN
E EVERY
N NEW
D DIFFICULTY


U MAY HAVE
SOME1 IN YR MIND
SOME1 IN YR HEART
SOME1 IN YR DREAMS
SOME1 IN YR LIFE
BUT I AM YR SOME1
WEN U HAVE NO ONE
'' FRIEND FOR EVER ''



FRIENDSHIP IS LIKE A WAR
EASY TO START
DIFFICULT TO END
IMPOSSIBLE TO FORGET
SO I'M ON A WAR WITH U
WILL NEVER LEAVE U IN PEACE


ZAKHAM + YOU = MARHAM
TANHAYEE + YOU = MEHFIL
TEARS +YOU = SMILE
RASTA +YOU = MANJIL
NOTHING +YOU = EVERYTHING
ME + YOU = F.R.I.E.N.D.S.



MY FRIENDSHIP HAS GOT INFINITE LAYERS
JUST LIKE ONIONS .
U MAY NOT BE ABLE TO COUNT IT.
BUT WEN U'LL TRY TO CUT IT ,
U'LL HAVE TEARS IN YR EYES
KOOL ONES,GURU!!!!!!!!:D
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK:)
GUYS, I HAVE COMPLETED 232 POSTS
thankz abhilasha
and keep going & keep posting

[guru_sal]

[QUOTE=abhilasha]


hey ABHILASHA......
kool ones....
hey lil ashi yr siggy ROKKKKKKKKKKK

[guru_sal]

son:how much does it cost to married dad ?
dad :i dont know it my son ,i'm still paying for it .




santa ne apni sagai tod di .malum kyun ?
kyunki ladki kunwari thi .
santa bola jo aaj tak kisi ki nahi hui
woh meri kaise ho sakti hai

[guru_sal]

SANTA: WHAT IS D MEANING OF SMS ?
BANTA :IT MEANS
S : SARDARON KA
M : MAZAAK UDANE KI
S : SERVICE

PETROL KA RATE BADNE PAR SANTA BOLA
''MAINU KOI FARAK NAHI PEHENDA
PEHLE BHI 100 KA BHARWATA THA AB BHI 100 KA BHARWATA HOON .

THIS CAT IS CAT A CAT GOOD CAT WAY CAT TO CAT KEEP CAT AN
CAT IDIOT CAT BUSY CAT FOR CAT 20 CAT SECONDS


IF U R A CHOCOLATE U R THE SWEETEST
IF U R STAR U R D BRIGHTEST
IF U R A TEDDY BEAR U R D MOST HUGGABLE
BUT SINCE U R MY FRIEND U R D ''BEST ''

[guru_sal]

WHICH BROTHER OF KALIDAS MAKES SHOES ?
ADIDAS



A FRIEND IN NEED IS A PEST INDEED

MARRIAGE IS ONE OF THE CHIEF CAUSES OF DIVORCE


WORK IS FINE IF IT DOESNT TAKE TOO MUCH OF YOUR TIME


WEN EVERYTHING COMES IN YR LANE MEANS U R IN THE WRONG LANE

[guru_sal]

Sorry Guys Dikh Nahi Raha Hai Achchi Se Na .

[guru_sal]

chote se dil ko milte gam bahut hai
zindgi me milte har pal zakham bahut hai
maar dalti kab ki ye duniya
kambhakt doston ki duaon me dam bahut hai



mamu ;chand to raat ko nikalta hai aaj din me kaise nikal gaya
gal : ullu to raat ko bolta hai aaj din me kaise bol pada



circuit: ae mamu tereko papad aur jahpad me farak pata hai kya
mamu; nahi
circuit:to khake k dekh le


garam tawe par baitha popcorn uchalta kyu hai
= khud baith kar dekho pata chal jayege

[guru_sal]

hey guys i've completed 100 posts

[guru_sal]

dont forget to read pg 138

[animateash]

all fo u cool jokes and amsti

[animateash]

Indian Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Indian Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Indian Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Indian Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Indian Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Indian Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Indian Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Indian Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Indian woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Indian Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Indian Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Indian Woman: Bet, the liar told you I was speeding, too.


MORAL:
Don't Mess With Indian Ladies !;)

[guru_sal]

Indian Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Indian Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Indian Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Indian Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Indian Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Indian Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Indian Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Indian Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Indian woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Indian Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Indian Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Indian Woman: Bet, the liar told you I was speeding, too.


MORAL:
Don't Mess With Indian Ladies !;)
ya cool one

[guru_sal]

once there was a crow
uton pendi si snow
crow ne pitti wine
crow angiya lion
ohne road k aake mara lalkara ,
truck de thalle aake mar gaya vichara .



chaay k pyale se uthti bhaap mein
aapki tasveer nazar aati hai
bus issi chakkar mein roz meri
chaae thandi ho jaati hai



a sardar knocks on gangu bai's door
gangubai: koun hai ?
sardar : main hoon
gangubai : main koun
sardar :tu gngubai aur koun


jana kaha tha aur kaha aa gaye
duniye me ban kar mehman aa gaye
abhi to zindgi ki kitab kholi hi nahi thi
aur na jaane kitne imtihan aa gaye

[evilseye]

Hey guyz!!cool jokes!!N guru congrats 4 completing 100 posts!!
Luv
Sur

[guru_sal]

THINK BIG ...THINK SMART ...
THINK BEAUTIFUL ....THINK GREAT ...
I KNOW THAT IS TOO MUCH FOR U
SO HERE IS A SHORTCUT
JUST THINK ABOUT 'ME'


RAAT GUJRI PHIR MEHKTI SUBHA AAYI
DIL DHADKA FIR TUMARI YAAD AAYI
AANKHON NE MEHSUS KIYA USS HAWA KO
JO TUMHE CHUKAR HAMARE PAAS AYI



["]JUB HUM JIYA KARENGE TUJHE YAAD KIYA KARENGE
AGAR HUM MAR BHI JAYE ; AGAR HUM MAR BHI JAYE
TO KYA HUA
YAMRAJ KE COMPUTER SE JOKES BHEJA KARENGE [/SIZE]



AASMAN PAR JITNE SITARE HAI[WAH WAH]
ANKHON ME JITNE ISHARE HAI [WAH WAH]
SAMANDER K JITNE KINARE HAI [WAH WAH]
UTNE HI SCREW DHEELE TUMHARE HAI [AB BOLO WAH WAH]

[guru_sal]

Hey guyz!!cool jokes!!N guru congrats 4 completing 100 posts!!
Luv
Sur
HEY SUR THANKZ A LOT [EK HI BAAR BOL RAHA HOON]

[guru_sal]

PHOOLON SE HASNA
JHOOLON SE JHULNA
KOI DUUSRA MILE
TO HAME NA BHULNA



TO THE WORLD
U MAY BE ONE PERSON
BUT TO ONE PERSON
U MAY BE D WORLD


DONT LOVE ONE
DONT LOVE 2
BUT LOVE ONE
WHO LOVES YOU


DOST EK AFSANA HAI
BHUL GAYA TO SAPNA HAI
YAAD AAYA TO APNA HAI



WHAT COMES AND GOES
IS CALLED A TREND
BUT WAT STAYS FOREVER
IS CALLED A FRIEND

[guru_sal]

GOOD FRNDS R THOSE
WHO CARE WITHOUT HASITATION ,
WHO REMEMBER WITHOUT LIMITATION
AND WHO LOVE EVEN ABOUT COMMUNICATION .


IF U TOUCH SOMETHING AND U FEEL ,IT DESIRE
IF U TOUCH AND DONT FEEL IT IS IGNORANCE
BUT IF U DONT TOUCH AND FEEL IT IS LOVE



KOI ITNA CHAHE TO BATANA
KOI TUMHE KHUSHI DE TO BATANA
DOSTI KAR TO LENGE HAR KOI
KOI HAMARI TARAH NIBHAYE TO BATANA


SAAWAN KA MAHINA
PAWAN KARE SHOR
AAP JAISA DOST HO TO
YE DIL MAANGE MORE

[guru_sal]

AGAR DUNIYA MEIN KUCH KAR DIKHANA HAI
TO HATHI PE ULTA KHADE HOKAR PHOTO KHICHAO ...
AUR USSI PHOTO KO SIDHA KARKE
SAARI DUNIYA KO DIKHAO..

HEY ITS A NICE IDEA .
NE1 WANTS TO TRY .

[guru_sal]

MERI TAMANNA HAI JAB MERI SAANSE RUKE ,
LOGO KI ZUBAAN SE NIKLE ,
AAH PAAPI THA
LEKIN JOKES ACHCHE BHEJTA THA




SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY
DONT GET CONFUSED SORRY MEANS
SOME ONE IS REALLY REMEMBERING YOU



WIFE IS A RECEIVED CALL
NEIGHBOUR GAL IS DIALLED CALL
AUNTY IS MISSED CALL
BUT FRNDSHIP IS FEVICOL

WICH SONG SHOULD U SING
AFTER COMING OUT UNSATISFIED FRM BATHROOM ?
JUDA HO K BHI TU MUJHME KAHIN BAKI HAI ...

[guru_sal]

HEY GUYS I THINK U PEOPLE DONT LIKE D JOKES .OF MINE .

OK U CAN TELL ME WICH TYPES OF JOKES U LIKE .I POST THAT .:mad:

[guru_sal]

dont kill me after reading this



ek aadmi ki 6 ungaliyaan hoti hai .log usse hanumaan bolte hain .kyun?













kyunki uska naam hanumaan hai .




what is pj ?




phaltu joke .




what is p+ iJ

complex phaltu joke





what is the opposite of REAL ?

!!!coconut!!!

socho kyun??????







socho na me hi batau kya




arre socha



kyunki
!!! NA-REAL !!!

[guru_sal]

I'LL WRITE A BOOK ON PJs AND DEDICATED TO WHOM?
OUR PRESIDENT .KNOW Y ???
SCROLL DOWN FOR ANSWER......

























COZ HE IS MR. a P J ABDUL KALAM .




WAT WOULD DHARMENDRA SAY 2 HEMA MALINI IF HE WANTS 2 TELL HER TO CALL HIM UP





















RING DE BASANTI .







A DENTIST WAS EXAMINING A PATIENT HAVING HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS DISEASE .
AS SOON D PATIENT OPEN HIS MOUTH D DESEASE TRANSFERRED TO D DOCTOR .HOW?








SCROLL














COZ PATIENT HAD A BLUETOOTH.









WAT IS 1 WORD FOR ;;APNE KIYE KARAYE PAR PAANI PHER DENA






FLUSH!!!!






3 COCKROACHES WERE GOING ON D ROD SUDDENLY 1 OF THEM STARTED SINGING AASHIQUE BANAYA AAPNE
FEW MINS LATER ALL COCKROACHES DIED .KNOW Y ?






COZ THIS SONG WAS HIT.........

THATS ALL .
***********************
**********************
**********************
U PEOPLE WANT MORE

[guru_sal]

EK STUDENT KI DASTAAN
STUDENT K DARD KO UNIVERSITY KYA JAANE
COLLEGE K RIVAJO KO PARENTS KYA JAANE
HOTTI HAI TAKLEEF JO PAPER LIKHNE WALE KO
WO PAPER CHECK KARNE WALA KYA JAANE






U CAN USE ANY KIND OF CHIRT
FOR EXAMS AND WIN A FREE TRIP
TO PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE ,ALSO 2 YRS
RELEASE FRM COLLEGE .
HURRY OFFER VALID ONLY TILL LAST EXAM .



AA GAYI EXAMS KI BELA
NAHI BAITHEGA KOI VELA
PEHLE TO KHUUB SOYA OR KHELA
AB ROYENGE SAATH SAATH JAB AAYEGA RESULT DHELA

[guru_sal]

TEACHER : CAN U EXPLAIN THE WORD 'LECTURER'
STUDENT : LECTURER MEANS A PERSON WHO HAS
A BAD HABIT OF SPEAKING
WEN SOME1 IS SLEEPING




QUESTION :WHO IS GR8 ;A MOTHER OR A TEACHER ?
ANSWER: A TEACHER... COZ
A MOTHER CAN PUT ONLY ONE CHILD TO SLEEP
BUT A TEACHER PUTS D WHOLE CLASS SLEEP.



TEACHER :''4 BEAUTIFUL GALS R WALKINH ON D ROAD ''
CHANGE IN TO EXCLAMATORY SENTENCE ?
STUDENTS : WOW !!


TEACHER TO CLASS : ''A'' FOR
CLASS : APPLE
TEACHER : JOR SE BOLO
CLASS : ''JAI MATA DI ''

[divyaashimix]

hey GURU...
rokking ones ....:D

[guru_sal]

hey GURU...
rokking ones ....:D
thankz aashi
atlast kissi ne to pada

[guru_sal]

what has
6 feet tall
9 heads
1 leg
5 hands
7 eyes
13 ears
3 mouths
1 finger
8 stomachs
..........

stop thinking dumb
ther is nothing like this






agr aapke ghar k paas koi ladki ho
wo khuubsoorat ho ,aapko pasand karti ho
aapko isharre karke bulaati ho ,to mat jaana
kyunke uske liye ''main hoon na''




apun dono me smart koun ?
INTELLIENT KOUN ?
CHARMING KOUN ?
GOOD LOOKING KOUN ?
FAMOUS KOUN ?
WOH TUM TO NAHI , TO BACHA KOUN ...



SOMETHINGS R MADE FOR EACH OTHER
JAISE KI
SHOE AND SOCKS
PAPER AND PEN
SOAP AND WATER
SHIRT AND PANT
ME AND YR GAL FRND [COLOR="DarkOrange"[/COLOR]

[guru_sal]

FIRST OF FIRST IS FIRST OF YOU
DEN THERE R ZEEROES 2
FIRST OF LAST IS LAST OF YOU
NOW U TELL ME WHAT R U ?
OK I'LL TELL .''F O O L '' RITE NA




GEETA ME LIKHA HAI
GEETA ME LIKHA HAI
GEETA ME LIKHA HAI
*****
*****
*****
ARRE BABA KAHA NA GEETA ME LIKHA HAI
YAHA PE NAHI




KRIPYA DHYAN DE
********
!!!!!!!!!!!
||||||||||
%%%%%%
$$$$$$$$$$$$
DHAN DENE KE LIYE SHUKRIYA




AGAR TUM ''DIL''MANGO DE DENGE
AGR TUM ''JIGAR '' MAANGO DE DENGE
AGAR TUM ''DHADKAN '' MANGO DE DENGE
''JAAN'' TAK MAANGO TO WO BHI DE DENGE
KYUNKI AAJ SABH KI CDs GHAR PE PADHI HAI

[animateash]

all of u gud ones

[animateash]

QUESTIONS THAT U CAN'T ANSWER(TRY IT OUT)*

1. The maker doesn't want it; the buyer doesn't use
it; and the user doesn't see it. What is it?

2. A child is born in Boston, Massachusetts to
parents who were both born in Boston, Massachusetts.
The child is not a United States citizen. How is
this possible?

3. Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the
highest mountain on Earth?

4. Clara Clatter was born on December 27th, yet her
birthday is always in the summer. How is this
possible?

5. Captain Frank and some of the boys were
exchanging old war stories. Art Bragg offered one
about how his grandfather led a battalion against a
German division during World War I. Through
brilliant maneuvers, he defeated them and captured
valuable territory. After the battle he was
presented with a sword bearing the inscription "To
Captain Bragg for Bravery, Daring and Leadership.
World War I. From the Men of Battalion "Captain
Frank looked at Art and said, "You really don't
expect anyone to believe that yarn, do you?" What's
wrong with the story?

6. What is one thing that all wise men, regardless
of their religion or politics, agree is between
heaven and earth?

7. In what year did Christmas and New Year's fall in
the same year?

8. Why are 1990 American dollar bills worth more
than 1989 American dollar bills?

9. A farmer has 17 sheep and all but 9 die. How many
are left?

10. How many times can you subtract the number 5
from 25?

11. How could you rearrange the letters in the words
"new door" to make one word? Note: There is only one
correct answer.

12. Even if they are starving, natives living in the
Arctic will never eat a penguin's egg. Why not?

13. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg
are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?

14. In Okmulgee, Oklahoma, you cannot take a picture
of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

15. There were an electrician and a plumber waiting
in line for admission to the International Home
Show," One of them was the father of the other's
son. How could this be possible?

16. A butcher in the butcher shop is 5' 10" tall.
What does he weigh?










*ANSWERS*

1. A coffin.

2. The child was born before 1776.

3. Mount Everest (it just hadn't been discovered).

4. Clara lives in the southern hemisphere.

5. World War I wasn't called "World War I" until
World War II.

6. The word "and".

7. They fall in the same year every year. New Year's
Day just arrives very early in the year and
Christmas arrives very late in the same year.

8. One thousand nine hundred and ninety dollar bills
are worth one dollar more than one thousand nine
hundred and eighty-nine dollar bills.


9. Nine.


10. Only once, and then you are subtracting it from
20.


11. "One word"


12. Penguins live in the Antarctic.


13. Neither. The yolk of the egg is yellow.


14. You have to take a picture of a man with a
camera, not with a wooden leg.


15. They were husband and wife.


16. Meat.

[TIA108DIVA]

gr888888 ones ash !!!!!!!!!

[guru_sal]

thankz ash
main bore ho chuka tha .itne time tak is thread par koi visit nahi karta tha .
but now u and tia all of u gud ones

[guru_sal]

QUESTIONS THAT U CAN'T ANSWER(TRY IT OUT)*

1. The maker doesn't want it; the buyer doesn't use
it; and the user doesn't see it. What is it?

2. A child is born in Boston, Massachusetts to
parents who were both born in Boston, Massachusetts.
The child is not a United States citizen. How is
this possible?

3. Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the
highest mountain on Earth?

4. Clara Clatter was born on December 27th, yet her
birthday is always in the summer. How is this
possible?

5. Captain Frank and some of the boys were
exchanging old war stories. Art Bragg offered one
about how his grandfather led a battalion against a
German division during World War I. Through
brilliant maneuvers, he defeated them and captured
valuable territory. After the battle he was
presented with a sword bearing the inscription "To
Captain Bragg for Bravery, Daring and Leadership.
World War I. From the Men of Battalion "Captain
Frank looked at Art and said, "You really don't
expect anyone to believe that yarn, do you?" What's
wrong with the story?

6. What is one thing that all wise men, regardless
of their religion or politics, agree is between
heaven and earth?

7. In what year did Christmas and New Year's fall in
the same year?

8. Why are 1990 American dollar bills worth more
than 1989 American dollar bills?

9. A farmer has 17 sheep and all but 9 die. How many
are left?

10. How many times can you subtract the number 5
from 25?

11. How could you rearrange the letters in the words
"new door" to make one word? Note: There is only one
correct answer.

12. Even if they are starving, natives living in the
Arctic will never eat a penguin's egg. Why not?

13. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg
are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?

14. In Okmulgee, Oklahoma, you cannot take a picture
of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

15. There were an electrician and a plumber waiting
in line for admission to the International Home
Show," One of them was the father of the other's
son. How could this be possible?

16. A butcher in the butcher shop is 5' 10" tall.
What does he weigh?










*ANSWERS*

1. A coffin.

2. The child was born before 1776.

3. Mount Everest (it just hadn't been discovered).

4. Clara lives in the southern hemisphere.

5. World War I wasn't called "World War I" until
World War II.

6. The word "and".

7. They fall in the same year every year. New Year's
Day just arrives very early in the year and
Christmas arrives very late in the same year.

8. One thousand nine hundred and ninety dollar bills
are worth one dollar more than one thousand nine
hundred and eighty-nine dollar bills.


9. Nine.


10. Only once, and then you are subtracting it from
20.


11. "One word"


12. Penguins live in the Antarctic.


13. Neither. The yolk of the egg is yellow.


14. You have to take a picture of a man with a
camera, not with a wooden leg.


15. They were husband and wife.


16. Meat.hey ash excellent

[TIA108DIVA]

yeh shadi ka card padh kar toh mera pet hi kharab ho gaya :D :D :D

|| Shree Khaa Naa Ya Namaha ||

Mrs. and Mr. Sambhar Chatni

Request the pleasure of the company of

Mrs. & Mr. Idli
On the occasion of the Marriage of their grandson,

SADA DOSA
( Son of Mrs. & Mr. Masala Dosa )
to
PANI PURI
( Daughter of Mrs. & Mr. Bhel Puri )
on 14th December 2005, at 8 p.m. at
Dahi Wada Hall, Samosa Building,
Cham Cham Road , Opposite Papad Theatre,
Haldiram, Mumbai Rasgulla 400 000.
Res. : "Nariyal ka Chatni", Paneer Rd.
Chola Battura Avenue , Mumbai Dhokla 400 111.
Tel. 91-22-25618241
email id: Stomach_upset@indigestion.com
NO GIFTS PLEASE, ONLY PRESENTS.

[TIA108DIVA]

world's easiest quiz...............................
Passing requires 4 correct answers


1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

3) From which animal do we get catgut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?

7) What was King George VI's first name?

8) What color is a purple finch?

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?

All done? Scroll down to check your answers below.
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ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ

Passing requires 4 correct answers

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years

2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador

3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
November

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
Dogs

7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert

8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
Orange, of course.

(And don't try to tell me you passed!)

Pass this on to some brilliant friends so they can feel stupid, too.

[guru_sal]

world's easiest quiz...............................
Passing requires 4 correct answers


1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

3) From which animal do we get catgut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?

7) What was King George VI's first name?

8) What color is a purple finch?

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?

All done? Scroll down to check your answers below.
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ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ

Passing requires 4 correct answers

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years

2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador

3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
November

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
Dogs

7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert

8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
Orange, of course.

(And don't try to tell me you passed!)

Pass this on to some brilliant friends so they can feel stupid, too.
hey tia both were nice

[guru_sal]

[COLOR="YellowGreen"]hey heres an maths equation

STUDY = DONT FAIL - ( EQN 1)
DONT STUDT = FAIL _ (EQN 2 )

ADDING 1 & 2 ,WE GET
STUDY + DONT STUDT = FAIL + DONT FAIL
STUDY ( 1 + DONT ) = FAIL ( DONT + 1 )
CANCELLING ( 1 + DONT) TO BOTH D SIDES WE GET
STUDY = FAIL




BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL
STUDENT THERE IS 1 GAL
BUT WHAT ABOUT UNSUCCESSFUL STUDENT ?
...........LOTS OF GALFRNDS



HISTORY TEACHER TO STDENT
BATAO SHIVAJI KA SHAASAN KAHAN SE KAHAN TAK FAILA HUA HAI ?
STUDNT : SIR, Pg 112 SE Pg 119 TAK FAILA HUA HAI .





DIMAAG K LIYE ,SANTRE KA JUICE
AANKHON K LIYE , CARROT KA JUICE
SEHAT K LIYE , ANAR KA JUICE
KHUSH REHNE K LIYE ,'' JOKES BHEJA KARO KANJUUS''
/COLOR]

[guru_sal]

1202412025

[tukz]

hey guru,ash,tia rkn 1ce jst luvd dem

[tukz]

These are sooooo cute and you will chuckle!!

7 reasons not to mess with a child
************************************

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her

mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly

noticed that her mother had several strands of white

hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked,

"Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do

something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of

my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while

and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's

hairs are white?"
******************************************

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a

whale to swallow a human because even though it was

a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a

whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could

not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask

Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".[/SIZE[SIZE="4"]]******************************************

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom

of children while they were drawing. She would

occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently,

she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what

God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her

drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

*******************************************

The children had all been photographed, and the

teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a

copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you

are all grown up and say,

'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's

Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out,

"And there's the teacher, She's dead."

******************************************

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of

the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer,

she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the

blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn

red in the face.." "Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in

the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my

feet?" A little fellow shouted,

"Cause your feet ain't empty."
******************************************

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a

Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of

the table was a large pile of apples.

The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end

of the table was a large pile of chocolate chipcookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want.

God is watching the apples.


CHILDREN'S ARE GOD'S GIFT!!!!! REALLY!!!

[tukz]

A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.





The word "racecar", "kayak", and "radar" are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left.





The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it's head are the rabbit and the parrot.


The first kind of pencil was a bunch of graphite sticks held together by string. Then someone decided it would be better to push the graphite into the inside of a hollow wooden stick.

Seniors who drink a cup of coffee before a memory test score higher than those who drink a cup of decaffeinated coffee.

[tukz]

All babies are colour blind when they are born. .





After being picked an orange cannot ripen .





7 out of 10 people believe in life after death .





A butterfly can see the colors red, green, and yellow .





The world's tallest grass, which has sometimes grown 130 feet or more, is bamboo.


A crocodile can't move its tongue and cannot chew. Its digestive juices are so strong that it can digest a steel nail.





Our eyelashes help to keep dirt out of our eyes.





Moths are not really attracted to light. Moths fly towards the blackest point which is behind the light.





The first bicycle that was made in 1817 by Baron von Drais didn't have any pedals? People walked it along.





The ice cream soda was invented in 1874 by Robert Green. He was serving a mixture of syrup, sweet cream and carbonated water at a celebration in Philadelphia. He ran out of cream and substituted ice cream.

Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.





The smallest book in the world is called Chemin de la Cruix. It has 119 pages. It is 2 inches high and 1 1/3 inches wide.





A cow gives nearly 200,000 glasses of milk in her lifetime

Insects do not make noises with their voices. The noise of bees, mosquitoes and other buzzing insects is caused by rapidly moving their wings.

[tukz]

You with your beautiful eyes, you with your nice hair, you with your fantastic body ... o, sorry, wrong number


When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!!


We will now upgrade your brain....... Please wait........ Searching. ......Searching. ......Still searching... .....Sorry, no brain found !!!


Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a sexy mouth, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?


This is your boss: "You are allowed to read the newspaper during the working hours and do certainly not miss the job adds."

[tukz]

PAINFULL THINGS...............

1. flashing your smile to someone you don't want to see

2. bringing back the feeling you've learned to forget

3. showing that you care

4. finding a way to mend a broken heart

5. learning that you've been used by someone you truly love

6. saying "i love you" when you mean it and when you don't

7. letting go of a person you've just learned to love

8. realizing that you love somebody you've just taken for granted

9. realizing that you love the person you've just broken up with

10. waiting for promises you know she or he'll never keep

11. saying your love for someone who loves somebody else

12. reminiscing the good times u shared together

13. shielding your heart to love somebody

14. trying to hide what you really feel

15. having a commitment w/ someone that you know would not last

16. trying to hide the tears that voluntarily fall from your eyes

17. sharing the one you love w/ someone else


18. loving a person too much

19. giving up someone you never thought of giving up

20. falling in love for the first time

21. loving someone you haven't seen 22. having the right love at the wrong time

23. exerting effort to make the relationship last or work

24. not being appreciated when you know you've given your best

25. taking the risk to fall in love again

26. hiding your relationship from someone else

27. controlling your feelings to avoid hurting a friend

28. choosing between two persons whom you really love

29. finding out that you can never have the person you just let go of

30. seeing the person you love with someone else

31. learning that the person who claimed to have loved you so much never really cared

32. seeing the one you love fall for someone else

33. falling for your best friend and knowing that things can never be the same again

34. learning to trust after you have been betrayed

35. accepting that it was not meant to be


36. smiling when all you want to do is cry

37. falling and knowing that it can never be

38. not being able to love the person who truly cares for you

39. saying that you can never love a person the way he loves you

40. hearing that he can never love you the way that you love him

41. saying that you are over someone you still love

42. being friends again and learning to let go of each other coz you both know it is better that way

43. convincing oneself that you are not in love when you know that you are


44. having to let go because you know that he deserves someone else

45. trying not to remember how perfect everything used to be..

[tukz]

[1] Take off my skin -- I won't cry, but you will! What am I?

[2] The more it dries, the wetter it gets. What is it?

[3] You answer me, although I never ask you questions. What am I?

[4] Which is correct: 18 plus 19 is 36. Or 18 plus 19 are 36?

[5] Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth?

[6] What gets whiter the dirtier that it gets?

[7] How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?

[8] Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days; how many have 28?

[9] What can burn the eyes, sting the mouth, yet be consumed?

[10] What travels around the world yet stays in one corner?

[11] How is it possible to shave three times a day and still grow a beard?

[12] Is it physically possible for you to stand behind your mother, and for your
mother to stand behind you at the same time?

[13] What is harder to catch the faster you run?

















1.
An onion

2.
A towel

3.
The telephone

4.
Actually neither is correct - 18 plus 19 is 37.

5.
Mt. Everest

6.
A chalkboard

7.
Once, because after you subtract it's not 25 anymore

8.
Every month has at least 28 days.

9.
Peppers

10.
A stamp.

11.
If you were a barber, you could shave other men three times a day and still
grow your own beard.

12.
Yes, if you stand back to back

13.
Your breath

[tukz]

I'LL WRITE A BOOK ON PJs AND DEDICATED TO WHOM?
OUR PRESIDENT .KNOW Y ???
SCROLL DOWN FOR ANSWER......

























COZ HE IS MR. a P J ABDUL KALAM .




WAT WOULD DHARMENDRA SAY 2 HEMA MALINI IF HE WANTS 2 TELL HER TO CALL HIM UP





















RING DE BASANTI .







A DENTIST WAS EXAMINING A PATIENT HAVING HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS DISEASE .
AS SOON D PATIENT OPEN HIS MOUTH D DESEASE TRANSFERRED TO D DOCTOR .HOW?








SCROLL














COZ PATIENT HAD A BLUETOOTH.









WAT IS 1 WORD FOR ;;APNE KIYE KARAYE PAR PAANI PHER DENA






FLUSH!!!!






3 COCKROACHES WERE GOING ON D ROD SUDDENLY 1 OF THEM STARTED SINGING AASHIQUE BANAYA AAPNE
FEW MINS LATER ALL COCKROACHES DIED .KNOW Y ?






COZ THIS SONG WAS HIT.........

THATS ALL .
***********************
**********************
**********************
U PEOPLE WANT MORE
hey gud 1 lufd a lot

[shwmumbai@hotmail.com]

god lots hve changed but what a site congrats
of course great pjs.:D

[TIA108DIVA]

hey tia both were nice


hey guru thanx!!!!!!!!!!

[guru_sal]

[1] Take off my skin -- I won't cry, but you will! What am I?

[2] The more it dries, the wetter it gets. What is it?

[3] You answer me, although I never ask you questions. What am I?

[4] Which is correct: 18 plus 19 is 36. Or 18 plus 19 are 36?

[5] Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth?

[6] What gets whiter the dirtier that it gets?

[7] How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?

[8] Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days; how many have 28?

[9] What can burn the eyes, sting the mouth, yet be consumed?

[10] What travels around the world yet stays in one corner?

[11] How is it possible to shave three times a day and still grow a beard?

[12] Is it physically possible for you to stand behind your mother, and for your
mother to stand behind you at the same time?

[13] What is harder to catch the faster you run?

















1.
An onion

2.
A towel

3.
The telephone

4.
Actually neither is correct - 18 plus 19 is 37.

5.
Mt. Everest

6.
A chalkboard

7.
Once, because after you subtract it's not 25 anymore

8.
Every month has at least 28 days.

9.
Peppers

10.
A stamp.

11.
If you were a barber, you could shave other men three times a day and still
grow your own beard.

12.
Yes, if you stand back to back

13.
Your breath
hey tukz all were roking

[divyaashimix]

god lots hve changed but what a site congrats
of course great pjs.:D


hey hey hey.....
great to see you back yarrr !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
man..........
we'll were wondering that where were you yarrr???????
NMEways....
I need your pik.........
I'm gonna make a Videomix...
and I've recieved maximum pix....
and I need your pik even...
please.........:p

[guru_sal]

i think will enjoy it 12098

12099

12100

[divyaashimix]

hey GURU......
kool ones.....:D

[guru_sal]

hey GURU......
kool ones.....:D
thankz
and very imp for u know that dis forum pe aap bhi jokes post kar sakte hai

[tukz]

hey guru thnx n kul 1nce

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!
We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE
BUTTER?
They're going to STICK! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when
you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have
you
LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget
to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You
think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like
when I'm driving."

[tukz]

*Ever think why do people say god bless u when u sneeze becoz ur heart stops working for a milli second.

*U can easilylead cow upstairs but it is impossible to let it downstairs.


*A kissing decrease ur live by 5 min

[tukz]

Hell, Michigan, USA
There are a couple of stories on how this town’s name originated. One theory suggests that one of the original residents, George Reeves, was asked just what he thought the town should be named. George reportedly replied, "I don't care, you can name it Hell if you want to." The second theory suggests that since the area is lower and swampy and in the olden days it was…

…“hell” to cross the rivers in the area.
People show up every year to Hell’s post office to have Hell postmarked on their tax return.



Chicken, Alaska, USA
This town was named after the state bird, Ptarmigan, which closely resembles a chicken. Since the name Ptarmigan was too hard to spell, and the residents did not want the town to be the subject of ridicule they decided to simply call the town…

… Chicken.
Awwwww the irony of it all.



Bigfoot, Texas, USA
Most of you are probably thinking that the town was named after the legendary monster, Bigfoot.
Sorry to burst your bubble but there is no story about a hairy Sasquatch grabbing and…

… eating the locals.
The town was named after William A. A. (Bigfoot) Wallace, a resident of the community.


Cut and Shoot, Texas, USA
This Texas town was named after a community confrontation that almost led to violence in 1912. There are numerous versions of the story on whether it was a dispute over land claims, design of a new steeple for the town church or who should be allowed to preach at the church. A boy at the scene of the dispute reportedly declared…

… "I'm going to cut around the corner and shoot through the bushes in a minute!"
This apparently remained in residents' minds and was eventually adopted as the town's name.



Deadhorse, Alaska, USA
I thought this town’s name would have an exciting origin but it doesn’t. This town was actually named after a construction company (Deadhorse Company) that built it to support oil drilling and production in the area. I still cannot figure who the heck would name their company…

… Deadhorse?
I am almost certain that they did not sell horse feed. :)


F**king, Austria
Yes, a town name that is a swear word. The correct way to actually pronounce the town name is "fooking," which was founded in the 6th century after a man whose name was Focko. This town has a serious sign-stealing problem, as you can imagine. I guess people just don’t believe it when you tell them, “I’ve been to F**king, Austria!”


Gun Barrel City, Texas, USA
I must start off by stating that this town was not named for a…

… John Wayne movie. Although it would make sense.
Actually the town name comes from its motto, which is, "We shoot straight with you," and its symbol is a rifle.


Hot Coffee, Mississipi, USA
Travelers in the early 1800’s to Mobile or Ellisville used to stop by at a local inn that was owned by Levi Davis, who always had…

… a pot of hot coffee and ginger
cakes

… baked by his wife.
Davis eventually put up a large sign with a big coffee pot that read “Hot Coffee.” The inn took on the name and eventually the area surrounding the inn did also.


Hygiene, Colorado, USA
No, this is not a town where people…

…shower and brush their teeth every three hours.
The unusual name is due to the fact that the town used to have a sanitarium for patients who had tuberculosis (TB). The sanitarium was founded by Reverend Jacob S. Flory and his Church of Brethren. The church was actually part of the sanitarium and is still standing in the town.



Intercourse, Pennsylvania, USA
No need to get all…

… embarrassed and shy.
Formerly known as "Cross Keys," there are a few explanations to the origin of this town's name. 1. It was named after a racecourse, which had an entrance that was called "Entercourse", which eventually evolved into Intercourse. 2. The crossing of two famous roads in the town and 3. In the Old English language used during the 1700's, the word "intercourse" actually meant fellowship and friendship.

[tukz]

OFFICER: WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
CANDIDATE: M P. SIR


OFFICER: TELL ME PROPERLY
CANDIDATE: MOHAN PAL SIR


OFFICER: YOUR FATHER'S NAME?
CANDIDATE: M P. SIR


OFFICER: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
CANDIDATE: MANMOHAN PAL SIR


OFFICER: YOUR NATIVE PLACE
CANDIDATE: M P. SIR


OFFICER: IS IT MADHYA PRADESH?
CANDIDATE: NO, MUNNUR PAL SIR


OFFICER: WHAT IS YOUR QUALIFICATION?
CANDIDATE: M P. SIR


OFFICER: (ANGRILY) WHAT IS IT?
CANDIDATE: METRIC PASS


OFFICER: WHY DO YOU NEED A JOB?
CANDIDATE: M P. SIR


OFFICER: AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
CANDIDATE: MONEY PROBLEM SIR


OFFICER: DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY
CANDIDATE: M P. SIR


OFFICER: EXPLAIN YOURSELF CLEARLY
CANDIDATE: MAGNANIMOUS PERSONALITY SIR


OFFICER: THIS DISCUSSION IS NOWHERE, YOU MAY GO NOW
CANDIDATE: M P. SIR


OFFICER: WHAT IS IT NOW
CANDIDATE: MY PERFORMANCE. ..


OFFICER: MP!!!
CANDIDATE: WHAT IS THAT SIR?


OFFICER: MENTALLY PUNCTURE

[tukz]

Bengali
onfiltered= poet.
Two Bengalis = a film society.
Three Bengalis = political party.
Four Bengalis = two political parties.
More than four Bengali's = Countrywide agitation to bring Ganguli into
Team.

Bihari
onfiltered= Laloo Prasad Yadav.
Two Biharis = booth-capturing squad.
Three Biharis = caste killing.
Four Biharis = entire literate population of Patna.

Punjabi
onfiltered=100 kg hulk named Pinky.
Two Punjabis = Pinky with his bigger brother Twinky.
Three Punjabis = assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds.
Four Punjabis = combined IQ equal to one.

Mallu
onfiltered= coconut stall.
Two Mallus = a boat race.
Three Mallus = Gulf job racket.
Four Mallus = oil slick.

UP Bhaiyya
onfiltered= a milkman.
Two UP bhaiyyas = halwai shop.
Three UP bhaiyyas = a fist-fight in the UP assembly.
Four UP bhaiyyas = mosque-destruction squad.

Gujju
onfiltered= share-broker in a Bombay train.
Two Gujjus = rummy game in a Bombay train.
Three Gujjus = Bombay's noisiest restaurant.
Four Gujjus = stock market scam.

Andhraite
onfiltered= chili farmer.
Two Andhraites = software company in New Jersey.
Three Andhraites = Naxalite outfit.
Four Andhraites = song-and-dance number in a Telugu movie.

Kashmiri
onfiltered= carpet salesman.
Two Kashmiris = carpet factory.
Three Kashmiris = terrorist outfit.
Four Kashmiris = shoot-at-sight order.

Tamil-Brahmin
One Tam-Brahm = priest at the Vardarajaperumal temple.
Two Tam-Brahms = maths tuition class.
Three Tam-Brahms = queue outside the U.S consulate at 4 a.m.
Four Tam-Brahms = Thyagaraja music festival in Santa Clara.

Bombayite
onfiltered= footpath vada-pav stall.
Two Bombayites = film studio.
Three Bombayites = slum.
Four Bombayites = the number of people
standing on your foot in the train at rush hour.

Sindhi
onfiltered= currency racket.
Two Sindhis = papad factory.
Three Sindhis = duplicate goods shop in Ulhasnagar.
Four Sindhis = Hong Kong Retail Traders Association.

Marwari
onfiltered= the neighbourhood foodstuffs adulterator.
Two Marwaris = 50% of Calcutta.
Three Marwaris = finish off all Gujaratis & Sindhis.
Four Marwaris = threaten the Jews as a community.

Haryanvi
onfiltered= tube light
Two Haryanavi = agriculture
Three haryannavi= Lathi squad
Four haryanavi = actually just one was enough

[tukz]

Four guys, from Harvard, Yale, MIT and SANTA SINGH from Punjab
University were to be interviewed for a prestigious job. One common
Question was asked to all 4 of them.


INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD?

YALE guy: Its light, Nothing can travel faster than light

HARVARD Guy : It's the Thought; b'cos thought is so fast it comes instantly in
Your mind.

MIT guy : Its Blink, you can blink and its hard to realize you blinked


SANTA SINGH : Its Loose motion

INTERVIEWER : (Shocked to hear Santa's reply, asked) "WHY"?

SANTA SINGH: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the
Worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON
THE LIGHTS, it was over!!!!


Bolo tarara.....

[tukz]

bst ans
http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j79/tuky_queen/funlok.jpg

[animateash]

tukz awesoem ones

[guru_sal]

Hey Tukz All Were Rokkinnggg
Specially That Mp

[guru_sal]

TEACHER TOSARDAR=TELL ME 5 ANIMALS THAT LIVE IN WATER ?
SARDAR = HMM.. FROG
TEACHER ; ACHCHA HOAR DAS ?
SARDAR = FROG DA BRO , SIS , DAD TE MOM




WAT IS D HEIGHT OF TELLING A LIE ?
A NEGRO BOY FRND TELLING HIS NEGRO GAL FRND THAT
TENNU KAALA CHASMA BAHUT JACHDA HAI YE GORE MUKHDE PE




TUJHE LITA K LU YA BAITHA K LU?
YA TUJHE KHADA KARU FIR TERI JHUKA K LU ?
AB TU HI BATA KI MAI TERI KIS KIS TARAH SE LU
!!PHOTO!!

[guru_sal]

U KNOW WAT ? I LIKE U
U KNOW Y ? COZ U R D BEST
U KNOW HOW ? IN YR OWN SIMPLE WAYS
U R MAKING ME SPECIAL .U KNOW WEN ?
SINCE D DAY WE BCOME FRNDS.





IN D CANVAS OF LIFE WE OFTEN GO OFF COLOR
BUT AS LONG AS SPECIAL PEOPLE LIKE U R THERE
2 ADD D RITE SHADES
LIFE GOES ON 2 B A RAINBOW

[guru_sal]

GOD=I CANT B EVERY WHERE
SO I CREATED FRIENDS
DEVIL = I 2 CANT B EVERYWHERE
SO I CREATED GALFRIENDS




VO GHADI
KUCH KHAAS THI
JAB MAUT
KHADI MERE PAAS THI
PHIR BHI MAINE ROKI AAPNI SAAS
KYUNKI TUMHARE EK JOKE KI AAS THI




SOME FRNDS FORGET
SOME MOVE AWAY
SOME KEEP SMILING
SOME JUST CHANGE
BUT I'M NOT 1 OF THEM
I'M HERE NOW AND FOREVER
2 DISTURB YOU !!

[guru_sal]

ARJ HAI.....

HUM TUMHARA SAATH NIBHAYENGE SAATHO JANAM

HUM TUMHARA SAATH NIBHAYENGE SAATHO JANAM

TERI KASAM

SHAYARI KHATAM






HOW DID THE SANTA CHEAT D RAILWAYS ?
HE BOUGHT D TICKETS AND DIDNT TRAVEL






SMILE U MADE IT LEAST
AT BUT U TO MESSAGE DIS SENT
WHO GENIUS DIS CURSING B MIGHT U
DIS READING AFTER !!!!
CONFUSED READ IT BACKWARDS




ARJ KIYA HAI ....

AGAR AAPKI SHAKAL GADHE SE MILTI HO

AGAR AAPKI SHAKAL GADHE SE MILTI HO

TO ISME GADHE KI KYA GALTI HAI

[guru_sal]

B4 U SPEAK , LISTEN
B4 U U SPEND , EARN
B4 U WRITE ,THINK
B4 U CRITICIZE ,WAIT
B4 U PRAY , FORGIVE
B4 U QUIT , TRY
B4 U DIE ,'LIVE'





FLIRT WID YR UNDERSTAND
GET ENGAGED TO COMPANION
MARRY SIMPLICITY
HONEYMOON WID GENUINNESS
AND DIVORCE THE EGO
THATS LIFE

[guru_sal]

FRNDSHIP TEST
CALL IF U LOV ME
MISSED CALL IF U R A TRUE FRND
TEXT BACK IF U CARE
TEXT A JOKE IF U LIKE ME
JUST IGNORE IF U HATE ME
I'LL WIAT ..FOR 1 DAY :cool:

[guru_sal]

LAUGH AT YR MISTAKES BUT LEARN FRM THEM
JOKE OVER YR TROUBLES BUT GATHER STRENGT FRM THEM
HAV FUN WID DIFFICULTIES BUT OVERCOM DEM




IF 1=11
3= 33
5=55
7 =77
9 = 99
11=???

B4 SCROLLING DOWN THING
1=11 ?
MORAL = DONT COMPLICATE SIMPLE PROBLEMS IN LIFE






LIFE IS DIFFERENT THAN A TEACHER
A TEACHR TEACHES LESSON
AND DEN KEEPS D EXAMS
BUT LIFE KEEP D EXAMS 1st
AND DEN TEACHES A LESSON




THERE R 2 EXTERNITIES DAT
CAN REALLY BREAK U DOWN
YESTERDAY AND TOMORROW
1 IS GONE AND OTHER DOES NOT EXIST
SO LIVE TODAY

[guru_sal]

READ EACH OF THE FOLLOWING LINES OUT LOUDLY
THIS IS THIS CAT
THIS IS IS CAT
THIS IS HOW CAT
THIS IS TO CAT
THIS IS KEEP CAT
THIS IS AN OLD CAT
THIS IS IDIOT CAT
THIS IS BUSY CAT
THIS IS FOR CAT
THIS IS FORTY CAT
THIS IS SECONDS CAT

NOW GO BACK READ THIRD WORD OF EACH LINE FRM D TOP
12106

12107

12108

12109

[divyaashimix]

READ EACH OF THE FOLLOWING LINES OUT LOUDLY
THIS IS THIS CAT
THIS IS IS CAT
THIS IS HOW CAT
THIS IS TO CAT
THIS IS KEEP CAT
THIS IS AN OLD CAT
THIS IS IDIOT CAT
THIS IS BUSY CAT
THIS IS FOR CAT
THIS IS FORTY CAT
THIS IS SECONDS CAT

NOW GO BACK READ THIRD WORD OF EACH LINE FRM D TOP
12106

12107

12108

12109


great one.............

[tukz]

hey ash n guru_sal thnx a lot n guru dey r rkin kip it up.......

A Patel family in gujarat was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother (ba) arrived from the US . It was sent by one of the daughters.
The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no
space left in it When they opened the lid , they found a letter on
top addressed to her brothers and sisters:

Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Smitaben and Varsha,
I am sending Ba's body to you,since it was her wish that she should
be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in GUJARAT .
Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave is consumed.

You will find inside the coffin, under Ba's body, 12 cans of cheese,
10 packets of Tobler chocolates and 8 packets of Badam (peanuts)
Please divide
these among all of you. On Ba's feet you will find a new pair of
Reebok shoes(size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for
Radha's and Lakshmi's sons. Hope the sizes are correct.

Ba is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan. Just
distribute the rest among yourselves. The 2 new Jeans that Ba's is
wearing are for the boys. The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on
Ba's left wrist. Shanta masi, Ba is wearing the necklace, earrings and
ring that you asked for. Please take them off her.

The 6 white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided among my
nephews. Please distribute all these fairly.

[tukz]

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners,
asked her students the following question:
"Michael, if you were on a date, having dinner with a nice young lady,
how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael said, "Just a minute, I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.
"What about you Peter, how would you say it?" Peter said, "I'm sorry,
but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at
the dinner table."
And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your
good manners?"
I would say, "Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to
shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to
meet after dinner."
The teacher fainted.

[tukz]

Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to
celebrate their 40th anniversary.
Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces,
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our
engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency
landing.
Luckily, I
see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the
beach.
However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to
live on the island for the rest of our lives!"
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the
island.
An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, "Mona, did we pay our
Rs 5lakh deposit cheque yet to ICICI Bank?"
"No, sweetheart," she responds.
Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Mona, did we
pay our ICICI Bank Master card yet?"
"Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque," she says.
"One last thing, Mona. Did you remember to send cheques for the auto
loan to them too this month?" he asks.
"Oh, forgive me, Rajiv," begged Mona. "I didn't send that one,
either."
Rajiv grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 40 years. Mona
pulls
away and asks him, "So, why did you hug me?"

Rajiv answers, "They'll find us!"

[tukz]

Little Johnny was busy doing his homework. As his mother approached she heard:







"One and one, the son-of-a-bitch is two."
"Two and two, the son-of-a-bitch is four."
"Three and three... "







His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math. Little Johnny remarked that his teacher Ms. Margo taught him.







His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the homework. The next day she stormed into Little Johnny's classroom and confronted Ms. Margo. Little Johnny's mother told Ms. Margo about Little Johnny's different way of doing math, and his claims that Ms. Margo taught it that way to the class.







The teacher was flabbergasted. She said that she couldn't understand why Little Johnny had said what he did. Then suddenly, Ms Margo exclaimed, "Oh, I know, here in school we say, one and one, the sum-of-which is two

[tukz]

Marathi student in a village was asked 2 read the english numbers


. . . . 70,82,89,99


.... He reads


... Shewanti, yeti tu? yeti nai? nai tar nai........................

[tukz]

This is when Amitabh Bachan got fit after his long illness.....




One fine morning he told his drvier "Arre bhai aaj Gaadi hum




Chalayenge.. ".




Driver, "Par Saab aapki tabyat?.."




Amitabh "Aree meri tabyat thik ho gayi he, I am fit and fine...kya dance




Karke dikhau, dialogue, fighting kare dikhau...




....Hain"




Ok then he starts driving the car very fast.... Zoooooooooom




Breaks one red signal...... ...




Breaks second red signal...... ....




Breaks on more red signal...... .....




...




...




...




...




...




...




Then a traffic hawaldar stops the car, tells the car to be sided to the




Road..




Tells the driver to come out... "Chalo liscence dikhao, puc, gaadi ke




Kagjaaat..."




Sees amitabh "are Amitabh Bachhan?!!!" he is verysuprised to see him....




.....




Then he quickly on wireless calls his senior officers....




"Sir, aap jaldi yaha aye naake par..."




Sir"KYun kya hua??"




Havaldar:"Sir ek gaadi NE signal toda he aur Maine us gaadi ko side me




Rakha he"




Sir: "To phir?"




Hawaldar:"SIr, Us gaadi ka maalik bahut bada aadmi he sir .... Mein uska




Challan nahi phaad sakta aap khud yaha aiye .."




...




...




...




...




...




...
...




...




...




...




...




Sir"KON MAALIK HE US GAADI KA??"




HAWALDAR : "WOH TO PATA NAHI SIR .... PAR USNE NE ... HE NA .. SIR ... AMITABH




BACHHAN




KO DRIVER RAKHA HE....".

[tukz]

some insults for immediate use
1. Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!
2. Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?
3. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
4. I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks?
5. At least there’s one thing good about your body. It isn't as ugly as your face!
6. Brains aren't everything. In fact, in your case they're nothing
7.Careful now, don't let your brains go to your head!
8. I like you. People say I've no taste, but I like you.
9. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
10. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent!
11. Don't get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?

[tukz]

The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting.


Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.


Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone


Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile


Maid: So what is the problem? We all use our work telephones.









Not only our technical knowledge helps, but also the presence of mind
and the right answer at right time.

Even if u don't know the answer for a question just confuse the
questioner
Question and the Answer given by Candidates oh sorry they are IAS
Officers now.

> Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking
it?
> A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)

> Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it
take four men to build it?
> A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank Opted for IFS)

> Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four
apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
> A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)

> Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
> A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with
one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)

> Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
> A. No Probs , He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)

> Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
> A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)

> Q. What looks like half apple ?
> A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )

> Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ?
> A : Dinner.

> Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?
> A : It caused a revolution.

> Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
> A : Liquid (UPSC 33Rank ) Interviewer said "I shall either ask you
ten easy questions or one really difficult question.
Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for a while
and said, "my choice is one really difficult question."

"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me
this.
"What comes first, Day or Night?"

> The boy was jolted into reality as his admission
depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while
andsaid, "It's the DAY sir!" "How" the interviewer asked,
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult
question!" He was selected for IIM!


*"Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is
themaster of presence of mind"

[tukz]

Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false?





1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.







2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.







3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 years.







4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.







5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart!







6. Only 7 per cent of the population are lefties.







7. Forty people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.







8. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old.







9. The average person over 50 will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.







10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.







11. The average housefly lives for one month.







12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.







13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.







14. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.







15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than any other time of day.







16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.







17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water.







18. The only two animals that can see behind themselves without
Turning their heads are the rabbit and the parrot.







19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a
Gentleman" and "Tootsie."







20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem.







21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of
White paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.







22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same
Airplane, just in case there is a crash.







23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can
For a carburetor.







24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women
Who give birth. They are used in vein transplant surgery.







25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins.







26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.







Answers below...
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >







They are all TRUE.... Now go back and think about #16!!!

[mesweety4u2000]

This is when Amitabh Bachan got fit after his long illness.....




One fine morning he told his drvier "Arre bhai aaj Gaadi hum




Chalayenge.. ".




Driver, "Par Saab aapki tabyat?.."




Amitabh "Aree meri tabyat thik ho gayi he, I am fit and fine...kya dance




Karke dikhau, dialogue, fighting kare dikhau...




....Hain"




Ok then he starts driving the car very fast.... Zoooooooooom




Breaks one red signal...... ...




Breaks second red signal...... ....




Breaks on more red signal...... .....




...




...




...




...




...




...




Then a traffic hawaldar stops the car, tells the car to be sided to the




Road..




Tells the driver to come out... "Chalo liscence dikhao, puc, gaadi ke




Kagjaaat..."




Sees amitabh "are Amitabh Bachhan?!!!" he is verysuprised to see him....




.....




Then he quickly on wireless calls his senior officers....




"Sir, aap jaldi yaha aye naake par..."




Sir"KYun kya hua??"




Havaldar:"Sir ek gaadi NE signal toda he aur Maine us gaadi ko side me




Rakha he"




Sir: "To phir?"




Hawaldar:"SIr, Us gaadi ka maalik bahut bada aadmi he sir .... Mein uska




Challan nahi phaad sakta aap khud yaha aiye .."




...




...




...




...




...




...
...




...




...




...




...




Sir"KON MAALIK HE US GAADI KA??"




HAWALDAR : "WOH TO PATA NAHI SIR .... PAR USNE NE ... HE NA .. SIR ... AMITABH




BACHHAN




KO DRIVER RAKHA HE....".
hey very nice one yaar well all are nice ;)

[tukz]

hey very nice one yaar well all are nice ;)
thnx a lot........

some Awesome one - liners......


1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.

2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

8. You can't buy love . . but you pay heavily for it.

9. True friends stab you in the front.

10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

14. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.

18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.

20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

[mesweety4u2000]

thnx a lot........

some Awesome one - liners......


1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.

2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

8. You can't buy love . . but you pay heavily for it.

9. True friends stab you in the front.

10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

14. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.

18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.

20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
hey welcum antim e

[tukz]

====|====|== ==|====|= ===|====| ====|==== |====|=== =|====|

Two Sardars went into a pub and after ordering two
beers took some sandwiches out of their pockets and
started to eat them.
"You can't eat your own sandwiches in here,"
complained the pub-owner.
So the two sardars swapped (exchanged) their
sandwiches.
|====|====|= ===|====| ====|==== |====|=== =|====|== ==|====|
A sardar was very fond of sensational and detective
novels,but he always started reading from the middle.
A friend of his asked why he did so?"
It'z doubly interesting" , said the Sardar. "TO start
from the middle keeps one curious not only about its
conclusion but also about its beginning
|====|===|== ==|====|= ===|====| ====|==== |====|=== =|====|

Once a Sardarji was going to his office.
On the way he slipped on a banana peel and was badly
hurt.
Next day , on his way to the office, he noticed a
banana peel and Later after two days, he noticed two
banana peels and exclaimed" ari sala, aaj to choice
hai"!!!!!!

|====|====|= ===|====| ====|==== |====|=== =|====|== ==|====|

A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the
pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were
in effect due to the advances in education on earth.
In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly
soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?

The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are
Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and
Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected,
so your answer is correct. But how did you get only 12
seconds in a year?"
The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,
March 2nd, etc...."
Saint Peter lets him in without another word


|====|====|= ===|====| ====|==== |====|=== =|====|== ==|====|

Nurse - "Mubarak ho.. Sardarji.. aap papa ban gaye.."
Sardarji - " Meri wife ko nahi bolna.. main use
surprise doonga..!"
|====|====|= ===|====| ====|==== |====|=== =|====|== ==|====|

Dr Chopra psychotherapist wanted 'Sign board' to be
pained in front of his clinic but our Sardar painter
painted "Dr Chorpa Psycho The Rapist"

|====|====|= ===|====| ====|==== |====|=== =|====|== ==|====|

What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE .........
Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai......

Doosari bigadati hai to "SHUROO' ho jati hai

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ======

Ek sardar apne bete se bola : Bevakuf, kaisa machis
leke aaya hai, ek bhi tili nahin jalti.

Beta : Kya baat karte ho papa, sab tili test karke
laya hu.
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ======

Man runs home yelling "Pack your bags honey. I just
won the 10 Million lotto.

Wife : Do I pack for the beach or mountains ?

Man : Who cares ? Just pack and get lost !

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ====

Doctor to Sardaar : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood
group ek hi hai?

Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25 saalse mera khoon jo
pee rahi hai....

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ===

A two seater plane crashed in a graveyard in Punjab
today....... .

Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are
still..... digging for more.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= =

Sardar found answer to most difficult question
question ever What comes first - the chicken or the
egg ?

O yaar, jiska order pahele dooge, wo ayega !!!

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= =====
A Lady is on top of a hill and she is going to push her Father down
from
the hill top.....
So what is the name of this evil lady ???
......
......
......
......
Well, her Name is PUSH-PA!!!!! !!!!!

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ======
Ek bar Sardar Gangubai ke ghar jata hai aur darwaja knock karta
hai...
Gangubai:"Kaun? "
Sardar:"Main! "
Gangubai:"Main kaun?"
Sardar:"tu gangubai!!!! !"

[guru_sal]

HEY TUKZ ALL
R AWESOME MAN.TOO GOOD

[mesweety4u2000]

====|====|== ==|====|= ===|====| ====|==== |====|=== =|====|

Two Sardars went into a pub and after ordering two
beers took some sandwiches out of their pockets and
started to eat them.
"You can't eat your own sandwiches in here,"
complained the pub-owner.
So the two sardars swapped (exchanged) their
sandwiches.
|====|====|= ===|====| ====|==== |====|=== =|====|== ==|====|
A sardar was very fond of sensational and detective
novels,but he always started reading from the middle.
A friend of his asked why he did so?"
It'z doubly interesting" , said the Sardar. "TO start
from the middle keeps one curious not only about its
conclusion but also about its beginning
|====|===|== ==|====|= ===|====| ====|==== |====|=== =|====|

Once a Sardarji was going to his office.
On the way he slipped on a banana peel and was badly
hurt.
Next day , on his way to the office, he noticed a
banana peel and Later after two days, he noticed two
banana peels and exclaimed" ari sala, aaj to choice
hai"!!!!!!

|====|====|= ===|====| ====|==== |====|=== =|====|== ==|====|

A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the
pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were
in effect due to the advances in education on earth.
In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly
soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?

The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are
Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and
Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected,
so your answer is correct. But how did you get only 12
seconds in a year?"
The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,
March 2nd, etc...."
Saint Peter lets him in without another word


|====|====|= ===|====| ====|==== |====|=== =|====|== ==|====|

Nurse - "Mubarak ho.. Sardarji.. aap papa ban gaye.."
Sardarji - " Meri wife ko nahi bolna.. main use
surprise doonga..!"
|====|====|= ===|====| ====|==== |====|=== =|====|== ==|====|

Dr Chopra psychotherapist wanted 'Sign board' to be
pained in front of his clinic but our Sardar painter
painted "Dr Chorpa Psycho The Rapist"

|====|====|= ===|====| ====|==== |====|=== =|====|== ==|====|

What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE .........
Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai......

Doosari bigadati hai to "SHUROO' ho jati hai

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ======

Ek sardar apne bete se bola : Bevakuf, kaisa machis
leke aaya hai, ek bhi tili nahin jalti.

Beta : Kya baat karte ho papa, sab tili test karke
laya hu.
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ======

Man runs home yelling "Pack your bags honey. I just
won the 10 Million lotto.

Wife : Do I pack for the beach or mountains ?

Man : Who cares ? Just pack and get lost !

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ====

Doctor to Sardaar : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood
group ek hi hai?

Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25 saalse mera khoon jo
pee rahi hai....

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ===

A two seater plane crashed in a graveyard in Punjab
today....... .

Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are
still..... digging for more.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= =

Sardar found answer to most difficult question
question ever What comes first - the chicken or the
egg ?

O yaar, jiska order pahele dooge, wo ayega !!!

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= =====
A Lady is on top of a hill and she is going to push her Father down
from
the hill top.....
So what is the name of this evil lady ???
......
......
......
......
Well, her Name is PUSH-PA!!!!! !!!!!

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ======
Ek bar Sardar Gangubai ke ghar jata hai aur darwaja knock karta
hai...
Gangubai:"Kaun? "
Sardar:"Main! "
Gangubai:"Main kaun?"
Sardar:"tu gangubai!!!! !"
HEY GR8 TUKZ !!!!!!!!!

[divyaashimix]

hey TUKZ.....
awesome work man...........:D :D :D :D

[tukz]

thnx a lot mesweety n divs.............n divs 4 lords sake dont cal me a man..............

[divyaashimix]

thnx a lot mesweety n divs.............n divs 4 lords sake dont cal me a man..............
oopssssss.............
I'm really very soory GIRL...
okkey !!!!!!!!:D
HEY THAKUR>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<CONGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[tukz]

oopssssss.............
I'm really very soory GIRL...
okkey !!!!!!!!:D
HEY THAKUR>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<CONGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
hey thnxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxx a loooooooooooooooot:D :D :D

[tukz]

Ravan had 20 eyes but he sighted only one woman ....you have only 2 eyes
But you sight every woman. Now who is Ravan?




************ ********* *******




Scientists are trying to figure out how long a person can live without
Brain. Please tell them your age!




************ ********* ********




Santa: Yaar bachpan mein 20 male se gir gaya tha.
Banta: to fir Bach gaya ya mar gaya?
Santa: yaad nahin hai bahut purani baat hai.




************ ********* ****




Boy: mom, aaj mera dost ghar AA raha hai....ghar ke sab khilone
Chhupa de.
Mom: tera dost chor hai kya?
Boy: nahin, who apne khilone pahechan lega.




************ *********




In aptitude test...River Kaveri is in which state?
Sardar: liquid state.




************ ********* ****




INTERVIEW : Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught
Fire?
Sardar: Simple, stop imagining.




************ ********* *******




Chota baccha 100 watt bulb par baap ka naam likh raha tha.
Baap NE puchha "kya kar rahe ho?"
Baccha : baap ka naam roshan kar raha hoon.




************ ********* **




Two friends were walking together.
1st friend : Yaar mar gaya , meri biwi aur premika saath AA rahi hain.
2nd friend : oye, main bhi yehi bol raha tha.




************ ********* *****




Sardar: in my dreams rats play football every night.
DR: take this tablet you will be ok.
Sardar: Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.




************ ********* ******

[animateash]

hey tukz dam ccool re

[tukz]

hey tukz dam ccool re
thnx a lto ash

[abhilasha]

HEY TURKS,AWESOME YAAR!!!!!!!!:D :D

[luv_remix]

Ravan had 20 eyes but he sighted only one woman ....you have only 2 eyes
But you sight every woman. Now who is Ravan?




************ ********* *******




Scientists are trying to figure out how long a person can live without
Brain. Please tell them your age!




************ ********* ********




Santa: Yaar bachpan mein 20 male se gir gaya tha.
Banta: to fir Bach gaya ya mar gaya?
Santa: yaad nahin hai bahut purani baat hai.




************ ********* ****




Boy: mom, aaj mera dost ghar AA raha hai....ghar ke sab khilone
Chhupa de.
Mom: tera dost chor hai kya?
Boy: nahin, who apne khilone pahechan lega.




************ *********




In aptitude test...River Kaveri is in which state?
Sardar: liquid state.




************ ********* ****




INTERVIEW : Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught
Fire?
Sardar: Simple, stop imagining.




************ ********* *******




Chota baccha 100 watt bulb par baap ka naam likh raha tha.
Baap NE puchha "kya kar rahe ho?"
Baccha : baap ka naam roshan kar raha hoon.




************ ********* **




Two friends were walking together.
1st friend : Yaar mar gaya , meri biwi aur premika saath AA rahi hain.
2nd friend : oye, main bhi yehi bol raha tha.




************ ********* *****




Sardar: in my dreams rats play football every night.
DR: take this tablet you will be ok.
Sardar: Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.




************ ********* ******

really sufi tukz

lolz
pinky

[mesweety4u2000]

hey Awesome Yaar Keep It Up !!

[tukz]

thnx a lot frnds

[guru_sal]

HEY TUKZ AWESOME ONES
GIRL

[guru_sal]

RISHTA BANAYA HAI TO NIBHAYENGE
HAR PAL AAPKO SATAYENGE
PATA HAI AAPKO TO FURSAT NAHI YAAD KARNE KI
HUM HI TANG KAR KAR KE APNI YAAD DILAENGE





LITTLE KEYS OPEN BIG LOCKS
SIMPLE WORDS REFLECT GR8 THOUGHTS
YR SMILE CAN CURE HEART BLOCKS
SO KEEP SMILING
IT ROOOKKKKKKKKSSS







SARDAR TO DOC: I DO URINE AT 6:00 AM SHARP
AND SHIT AT 7:AM SHARP ...
DOCTOR ;DEN WHAT IS D PROB ?
SARDAR ; I WAKE UP AT 8:00AM SHARP..

[guru_sal]

ONCE-I KNEW YOU
OFTEN- I MISS YOU
ALWAYS -I REMEMBER YOU
NEVER - I WILL FORGET YOU.....

[guru_sal]

IF U FIND D WHOLE WORLD AGAINST U
AND U R ALONE ON 1 SIDE DEN WAT WILL U DO ?
SIMPLE , JUST TURN BACK & U WILL BCOME D LEADER
OF D WHOLE WORLD.






SANTA GOT ADMITTED IN ARMY .
HE WAS GIVEN AK 47
HE ASKED HIS SENIOR .ISE SIDHA PAKDA YA ULTA ?
HE REPLIED WATEVER WAY U LIKE ,FAIDA INDYA KA HI HOGA

[mesweety4u2000]

GUYZ SUM JOKES


1. SOMEONE LOVES U , CARES FOR U AND IS WATCHIN U VERY OFTEN. HE WANTS TO PROTECT U , GUESS WHO ????











ANS : IT IS UR NEIGHBOUR`S DOG


2 . ONE DAY A MAN HAD A DREAM TTH SOMEONE KILLED HIM ........ NEXT DAY , HE CLEARED HIS BANK ACCOUNT ???







ANS : BECOZ IN THE BANK , IT WAS WRITTEN , "WE MAKE UR DREAM COME TRUE " .


3 . GIRL : HOW MUCH DO U LOVE ME ??

BOY : LIKE SHAHJEHAN

GIRL : THEN WEN WILL U BUILD A TAJMAHAL??

BOY : I`VE ALREADY BOUGHT A LAND . NOW .... WAITING FOR UR DEATH ..






HOPE U ALL ENJOYED
LUV
$WEETY:rolleyes:

[guru_sal]

GUYZ SUM JOKES


1. SOMEONE LOVES U , CARES FOR U AND IS WATCHIN U VERY OFTEN. HE WANTS TO PROTECT U , GUESS WHO ????











ANS : IT IS UR NEIGHBOUR`S DOG


2 . ONE DAY A MAN HAD A DREAM TTH SOMEONE KILLED HIM ........ NEXT DAY , HE CLEARED HIS BANK ACCOUNT ???







ANS : BECOZ IN THE BANK , IT WAS WRITTEN , "WE MAKE UR DREAM COME TRUE " .


3 . GIRL : HOW MUCH DO U LOVE ME ??

BOY : LIKE SHAHJEHAN

GIRL : THEN WEN WILL U BUILD A TAJMAHAL??

BOY : I`VE ALREADY BOUGHT A LAND . NOW .... WAITING FOR UR DEATH ..






HOPE U ALL ENJOYED
LUV
$WEETY:rolleyes:
HEY SWEETY COOL ONES

[mesweety4u2000]

HEY SWEETY COOL ONES

HEY THNX EVEN URS WER COOL

[mesweety4u2000]

HERE`S ONE MORE

SCIENTISTS ALL OVER WORLD R WONDERING HOW LONG A HUMAN CAN LIVE WITHOUT BRAIN ............................... KINDLY TELL THEM UR AGE :p

[tukz]

hey guru n sweety ossom kip it up yaar

[guru_sal]

HERE`S ONE MORE

SCIENTISTS ALL OVER WORLD R WONDERING HOW LONG A HUMAN CAN LIVE WITHOUT BRAIN ............................... KINDLY TELL THEM UR AGE :p
HEY 13
THATS NICE NA

[tukz]

Jacko Christmas

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Santa?
Nothing, they both leave children's bedrooms with empty sacks

[tukz]

Kemosabe Waters the Bushes

One day Lone Ranger and his side kick Tonto were out riding when Lone Ranger jad to take a piss. So Lone Ranger goes over to the bush pulls down his pants and then he screams. He runs over to Tonto and says, "Tonto I've been bitten by a snake on my penis go to town and ask the doctor what to do."
So Tonto rides to town and goes to the doctor and says "Doctor, Lone Ranger has been bit by a snake what do I do?"

The doctor looks at Tonto and says, "You take a knife and make an x on the spot where he was bit, then you suck out the venim."

Tonto thanks the doctor and rides back to Lone Ranger and Lone Ranger asks "What did the doctor say?"

Tonto looks at Lone Ranger and says "Doctor say you gonna die!"

[tukz]

Q: What do Barbie and Britney Spears have in common?
A: Both are blonde, brainless and made out of plastic.

[tukz]

One day Mickey Mouse woke up and Minnie wasn't there. He went to look for her and, as he stepped outside, he saw “Mickey sucks” written in a yellow liquid in the snow. He investigated and realizedthere was good news and bad news: it was Goofy's urine, but Minnie's handwriting.

[tukz]

Due to a mixup on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera are forced to share a private jet in order to arrive in time for the ceremony.
Once up in the air, Madonna pulls out a $1000 bill and says, "I'm going to throw this $1000 bill out the window and make someone down below very happy."

Not to be outdone, Britney ripped a $1000 bill in half and threw it out the window, saying, "Look, I just made two people really happy."

Not even noticing Britney's stupid move, Christina bragged, "Look, I'm going to throw 1000 $1 bills and make a lot more people a little happier."

At this point the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore, comes out and says, "I think I'll throw all three of you out of this plane and make 250 million people happy."

[tukz]

Upon dying, Bill Gates went to purgatory.

St. Peter said to his, “Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go".

So, Bill takes a look at hell and see's these beautiful women running around, in 80 degree temperature, on beautiful beaches.

Then he took a look at heaven and it was nice, you know harps and singing and worship and stuff like that.

So he said to St. Peter that he would like to go to hell.

About a week later, St. Peter went down to hell to check on Bill. There he saw him, being whipped by demons.

He said to St. Peter, “What happened to all the beautifull women, and the beaches and the 80 degree temperature?”

Peter replied, “That was just the screen saver.”

[tukz]

A blonde bought an a.m. radio and it took her a month to find out she could listen to it at night.

[tukz]

Potential & Reality

A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"
His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."

The kid is puzzled, but decides to ask his mother. "Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?"

"Don't tell your father, but yes, I would."

He then goes to his sister's room. "Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?"

She replies, "Omigod! Definitely!"

The kid goes back to his father. "Dad, I think I've figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million bucks, but in reality, we are living with two sluts."

[tukz]

Cinderella Gets Some Ash

Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears,and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.
''First, you must wear a diaphragm. But if you're not home by 2 AM, your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin.'' Cinderella agrees, but she doesn't roll in until five in the morning, looking love-struck and very satisfied.

''Where have you been?'' demands the fairy godmother. ''Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!''

''I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything.''

''I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!''

''I can't remember, exactly. It was Peter, Peter, something or other...''

[tukz]

Windows 666

Bill Gates dies, and ascends to the Pearly Gates to meet God. God immediately recognizes him and says to him "Bill Gates -- you're a great man. I shall give you a choice of either heaven or hell." Bill Gates tells God that he would like to see both before making a decision.
So God takes Bill Gates down to Hell, where there are beautiful, nubile bikini models, perfect weather, free drinks, and eternal happiness. "That doesn't seem so bad," says Gates. "Let's see Heaven now." God and Gates go to Heaven, which seems to be just a bunch of old, crusty angels flying around and sitting on a few clouds. "I've made my decision," says Gates. "I choose Hell."

Six months later, God goes down to Hell to check on him and finds him hanging above a pit of fire with wild harpies tearing out his intestines. "What happened to all the bikini models and the sun and the fun?" Gates screams. "Oh, that," says God. "That was just the demo."

[mesweety4u2000]

hey Tukz Mindblowing



Did U Kknow

do U Ever Notice Tht Wen U Are Driving , Any1 Goin Slower Than U Is An Idiot And Every1 Driving Faster Than U Is A Maniac??

[mesweety4u2000]

one More

figure Tht Out


This Is An Unusual Paragraph . I`m Curious How Quickly U Can Find Out What Is So Unusual Abt It . It Looks So Plain U Wud Think Nothin Was Wrong Wid It . In Fact , Nothin Is Wrong With It . It Is Unusual , Though . Study It , And Think About It , But U Still May Not Find Anything Odd . But If U Work At It A Bit , U Might Find Out . Try To Do So Without Any Coaching .

Scroll Down For The Ans























































Here`s The Ans

The Letter E ,the Most Common Letter In The Engllish Language , Does Not Appear Once In This Long Paragraph.

[mesweety4u2000]

here`s A Joke Guyz


Wat Happens Wen Plumbers Die??

























































ans : They Go Down The Drain

[luv_remix]

here`s A Joke Guyz


Wat Happens Wen Plumbers Die??

























































ans : They Go Down The Drain


Nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D

lolz

[candy]

santa:main jab chota tha to 2 manzil se gir gaya tha
banta:bacha ya mar gaya
santa:pata nahin bahuth purani bat hai:D http://dsc000795

[candy]

santa:main jab chota tha to 2 manzil se gir gaya tha
banta:bacha ya mar gaya
santa:pata nahin bahuth purani bat hai:D tiaaaaaaaaaaaa..

[guru_sal]

troubles r lik washing machine
dey twist and knock us around
but in d end we come out brighter and
better den b4
so live life happily






WE LIV IN OUR DREAMS
BUT DREAMS MAY DIE
DONT GET SHATTERED AND NEVER EVER CRY
WORLD IS SO BIG AND HAS LOTS TO GIVE
PICK UP A NEW DREAM .
THATS D WAY TO LIVE LIFE

[animateash]

hey all of u gud oens ..bas hamara intezaar kijiye itna pitara milega hamare paas se bas 10oct ko xam khatam khalas....uske baad itne jokes itne pics itne mixes bhejungi

lvu ash

[guru_sal]

hey guru n sweety ossom kip it up yaar
hey thankz tukz