Fun 'n' Masti!!!!

[guru_sal]

13 Signs you Ate too much over the Holidays

By Heather Diodati

13. You "roll" out of bed in the morning...and keep rolling!

12. Even your jeans have stretch marks

11. Your mother-in-law comments about your lace drapes and what a lovely nightgown they'd make you

10. Your husband has suddenly added new locks in the house...to the fridge, the pantry, the freezer, the pet food bin...

9. You've been receiving "Thanks for subscribing" emails from weight loss sites when you haven't subscribed.

8 Your best friend gives you the evil eye whenever you mention the "F" word . . . FOOD!

7. Your husband has added an extra beam under the suddenly-sagging kitchen floor

6. The elephants in the local zoo are whistling in your direction

5. People you meet are congratulating you while glancing at your tummy

4. You need a new scale - the old one says "tilt" each time you step on it

3. You press "UP" in an elevator...and it doesn't

2. You were mistaken for the main act at the Sumo Wrestling match

And the #1 sign you ate too much over the holidays:

1. During your winter vacation, groups of people at the beach stand behind you for shade

[guru_sal]

difficult english

The bandage was wound around the wound.

The farm was used to produce produce.

The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse

We must polish the Polish furniture.

He could lead if he would get the lead out.

The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

I did not object to the object.

The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

They were too close to the door to close it.

The buck does funny things when the does are present.

A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

After a number of injections my jaw got number.

Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

[guru_sal]

DONKEYS LESSON

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried pitiously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.

Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.

He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1.Free your heart from hatred-Forgive.
2.Free your mind from worries-Most never happen.
3.Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4.Give more.
5.Expect less

NOW --------

Enough of that crap . . .

The donkey later came back and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:

When you do something wrong and try to cover your *ss, it always comes back to bite you.

[guru_sal]

COMPANY POLICIES

Here are some potential new company policies for you all to consider...

1. If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better
company someday.

2. The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget
cuts.

3. Sure, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent.

4. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by
killing all those who opposed them.

5. A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.

6. If at first you don't succeed, try management.

7. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

8. Never quit until you have another job.

9. Hang in there: Retirement is only 30 years away!

10. Go the extra mile -- It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.

11. Pride, commitment, teamwork -- words we use to get you to work for free.

12. Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore.

13. There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and
people who don't work here anymore.

[guru_sal]

WAYS @ FIND AN IDIOT

(1) He spends twenty minutes looking at an orange juice box because it said, "concentrate".

(2) He puts lipstick on the forehead because he wanted to makeup his mind.

(3) He gets stabbed in a shoot-out.

(4) He sends a fax with a stamp on it.

(5) He tries to drown a fish.

(6) If you gave them a penny for their intelligence, you'd get change.

(7) He trips over a cordless phone.

(8) He takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.

(9) At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here", he puts "Sagittarius".

(10) He takes 2 hours to watch "60 minutes".

(11) He invents a solar powered flashlight.

(12) He heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, so he moves.

(13) He misses the No. 14 Bus, and takes the 7 twice instead.

(14) He takes you to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport left", and he turned around and went home.

(15) He got locked in a furniture shop but sleeps on the floor.

(16) He spends time reading thru the above 15 points and analyses if he is an idiot!!!

[tukz]

kya baat hai guru hats off 2 u

[guru_sal]

kya baat hai guru hats off 2 u
hey thankz a lot and haan nice avatar
and i'm w8ing for yrs u hav not posted jokes

[tukz]

hey thankz a lot and haan nice avatar
and i'm w8ing for yrs u hav not posted jokes
ur mst welucm...n ya i dont have much gud jokes at present....lemme searcha b it....dne iw il pst

[guru_sal]

ur mst welucm...n ya i dont have much gud jokes at present....lemme searcha b it....dne iw il pst
hey no prob .

[guru_sal]

JOKES


Teacher ; Tell your fathers name in english
Student ; BUTTER RED GOVERNMENT.
Teacher ; What ?
Student ; Yes Sir , his name is
'MAKKHAN LAL SARKAR'.



Ek dost ne Sardar se puchha 'Yaar tu hamesha foreign
channel hi kyun dekhta hai '
Sardar 'Yaar kuch bijli unki bhi kharcha hone do '



Taro se keh do tim timana chod de , chand se keh do
jagmagana chod de
, agar tum aa nahi sakte to apni yaadon se keh do ke
satana chod de .



A = U '' R ATTRACTIVE
B = U '' R BEST
C = U '' R CUTE

D = U '' R DEAR TO ME
E = U '' R EXCELLENT
F = U '' R FUNNY
G = U '' R GOOD LOOKING

H = HA HA HA
I = I'M
J = JOKING



TEN THINGS I KNOW ABOUT U !
1 : U'' R a SPECIAL PERSON WITH WONDERFUL HEART
2 : 3: 4 : 5 : 6: 7: 8: 9 : 10:
BAS EK DIN MEIN EK HI JUTH BOLTA HOON



Days are too busy , hours are too fast ,
seconds are too few ,but there is always time for me to
remember ''you''



I WANTED TO KILL THE SWEETEST , THE SMARTEST , THE CUTEST
, THE MOST WONDERFUL PERSON ON THE EARTH .....
BUT CANCELLED THE PLAN BCOZ
SUICIDE IS A CRIME .....



DUR SE DEKHA TO SHER THA ,
DUR SE DEKHA TO SHER THA...
TO PAAS JANE KA SAVAAL
HI NAHI PAIDA HOTA



ONCE A SARDAR PHONES ANOTHER SARDAR AND SAYS
''HELLO MAIN BOL RAHA HOON ''
THE OTHER SARDAR REPLIES ''KAMAAL HAI IDHAR BHI MAIN
BOL RAHA ''



KHIDKI KHULI JULFE KHULLI ,
MAINE SOCHA KISMAT KHULI ,
PAR DIN ITWAR THA ,
KHULI JULFON WALA SARDAR THA !




JALE KO AAG KEHTE HAI ,BHUJE KO RAAG KEHTE HAI ,
JO TUMHARE PAAS MISSING HAI JAANI , USI KO DIMAAG
KEHTE HAI



ANGRY SARDAR ''MAIN PURE DUNIYA KO MITA DUNGA ...''
ANOTHER SARDAR '' MAIN TUJHE RUBBER NAHI DUNGA...!''



Sardar and his wife going to city in auto.
Driver adjusted mirror . sardarji shouted
u r seeing my wife go and sit back
i will drive the auto.

































































































Teacher ; Tell your fathers name in english
Student ; BUTTER RED GOVERNMENT.
Teacher ; What ?
Student ; Yes Sir , his name is
'MAKKHAN LAL SARKAR'.



Ek dost ne Sardar se puchha 'Yaar tu hamesha foreign
channel hi kyun dekhta hai '
Sardar 'Yaar kuch bijli unki bhi kharcha hone do '



Taro se keh do tim timana chod de , chand se keh do
jagmagana chod de
, agar tum aa nahi sakte to apni yaadon se keh do ke
satana chod de .



A = U '' R ATTRACTIVE
B = U '' R BEST
C = U '' R CUTE

D = U '' R DEAR TO ME
E = U '' R EXCELLENT
F = U '' R FUNNY
G = U '' R GOOD LOOKING

H = HA HA HA
I = I'M
J = JOKING



TEN THINGS I KNOW ABOUT U !
1 : U'' R a SPECIAL PERSON WITH WONDERFUL HEART
2 : 3: 4 : 5 : 6: 7: 8: 9 : 10:
BAS EK DIN MEIN EK HI JUTH BOLTA HOON



Days are too busy , hours are too fast ,
seconds are too few ,but there is always time for me to
remember ''you''



I WANTED TO KILL THE SWEETEST , THE SMARTEST , THE CUTEST
, THE MOST WONDERFUL PERSON ON THE EARTH .....
BUT CANCELLED THE PLAN BCOZ
SUICIDE IS A CRIME .....



DUR SE DEKHA TO SHER THA ,
DUR SE DEKHA TO SHER THA...
TO PAAS JANE KA SAVAAL
HI NAHI PAIDA HOTA



ONCE A SARDAR PHONES ANOTHER SARDAR AND SAYS
''HELLO MAIN BOL RAHA HOON ''
THE OTHER SARDAR REPLIES ''KAMAAL HAI IDHAR BHI MAIN
BOL RAHA ''



KHIDKI KHULI JULFE KHULLI ,
MAINE SOCHA KISMAT KHULI ,
PAR DIN ITWAR THA ,
KHULI JULFON WALA SARDAR THA !




JALE KO AAG KEHTE HAI ,BHUJE KO RAAG KEHTE HAI ,
JO TUMHARE PAAS MISSING HAI JAANI , USI KO DIMAAG
KEHTE HAI



ANGRY SARDAR ''MAIN PURE DUNIYA KO MITA DUNGA ...''
ANOTHER SARDAR '' MAIN TUJHE RUBBER NAHI DUNGA...!''



Sardar and his wife going to city in auto.
Driver adjusted mirror . sardarji shouted
u r seeing my wife go and sit back
i will drive the auto.



///////

[guru_sal]

good one


Three Sardarjis went for a tour to Singapore . They searched for rooms everywhere and finally got one which is in the topmost floor of a 100 floor hotel. After taking rest they started for a local visit. While leaving the hotel the manager informed them that they should reach the hotel before 10.00pm or other wise lift will not be available and they have to take the steps. They agreed and went out.

After all the entertainment in the city, they reached back late at 10.30 . Since lift is not available they decided to take the stairways, under the condition that each sardarji has to tell a story that has to last for 33 floors so that they can reach the 100th floor without much trouble. After first sardarji finished his story in 33rd floor, the third sardarji said," I have a sad story to say, but i will tell at the end only". Then second sardarji finished his story and the third finished his story and finally they reached the 100th floor. Then first sardarji asked what was the sad story. The third one said, " I forgot the room key which is on the manager's table".

They once again started back to the first floor and this time the second sardarji after crossing 33 floors from top said," I got a sad story, but I will also say that at the end". They finally reached the first floor and when asked about the sad story, the second sardarji said, " The keys where in my pocket only".

With anger and full tired, they once again start from the first floor. After reaching the 33rd floor, the third sardarji said, " I too have a sad story, but I will say at the end only". Then they reached the 100th floor and the second one asked the third sardarji about the sad story, he replied:

.









...

....

....

....

....




...

....

.....






" This is not our hotel, It is on the other side of road, opposite to this".

[guru_sal]

a letter in mathematics

Math student's love letter!!!
My Dear Love,

Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane. There I saw you with your cute circular face, conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden.

Before seeing you, my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated.

My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me. The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity.
I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity.
You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality. My love, if you do n ot meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10. With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.

Yours ever loving,
Pythagoras

[guru_sal]

kash koi aisa hota


Ae Kash Koi Aesa To Hota
Jo La Deta Mere Khwab Sare
Jo Meri Sumandar Ankhon Se Chun Leta Azab Sare
Jis Ki Sangit Me Mujhe Apne Hone Ka Ehsas Hota
Mera Har Ansoo Us Ke Liye Azab Hota
Par Ae Nadan Dil Mujhe Paata Hai
Mera Wajud Kis Miti Se Bana Hai Mujh Ko Paata Hai
Mere Saare Gham Mere Hain
Yeh Tanhaian Bhi Meri Hain
In Sumandar Ankhon Ke Azab Bhi Mere Hain
Mera Har Ansoo Bhi Sirf Mera Hai
Izat Daro Kai Is Shehar Main
Yeh Izat Ka Janaza Bhi Mera Hai
Gaerat Kai In Darbaro Main
Yeh Chalni Wajud Bhi Mera Hai
Rasm Wa Rawaj Ke Is Kafs Main
Qaed Yeh Ruh Bhi Meri Hai
Mera Har Khwab Shisha Hai
Aur Yeh Insan Pathar Sare
Ae Kash Koi Aesa

[guru_sal]

READ AND ENJOY

6 WEEKS ,6 MONTHS , 6 YEARS


Read and enjoy ....


6 weeks , 6 months, 6 years . . .


Dating process:
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?


Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??


Gifts:
6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living room.
6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.


Phone Ringing:
6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE RINGING.


Cooking:
6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN!!!!


Apology:
6 weeks : Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you.
6 months : Watch out! Don't do it again.
6 years : What's not to understand about what I just said??


New Dress:
6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new dress again???
6 years : How much did THAT cost me?


Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound??
6 months : What's so bad about going to India on a charter plane?
6 years : Travel? What's so bad about staying home???


TV:
6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months : I like this movie.
6 years : I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself . . .

[guru_sal]

MY HEART IS MISSING U







My Heart is Missing You!!!

When you are gone
I feel so alone
I miss you dear
when you are not here

You make my day
Like when the sun shines in May
I need to see your smile
and I wish I could see it more then just once in a while

You are such delight
and add joy to my nights
I want you to know what you mean to me
and oh.. I hope that you can see

My heart is missing you
and I wonder... do you miss me to?
I hope that you do
because I know I miss you!!

I always hope you are ok, and nothing is wrong
When will I see you again.. oh I hope it won't be long!
I need to know that you care
and that no matter what you will always be there

Remember this is for you, my friend
and to you I will send
So keep it close to you heart
and if you do, we will never part.

My heart is missing you!!

[tukz]

hey gur agn awesom wrk bro


FACTS TO MAKE EVERY INDIAN PROUD




Q. Who is the co-founder of Sun Microsystems?
Ans. Vinod Khosla




Q. Who is the creator of Pentium chip (needs no
Introduction as 90% of the today's computers run on it)?
Ans. Vinod Dahm




Q. Who is the third richest man on the world?
Ans. According to the latest report Lakshmi Niwas Mittal
Is the 3rd richest man in world in 2005.




Q. Who is the founder and creator of Hotmail (Hotmail
Is world's No.1 web based email program)?
Ans. Sabeer Bhatia




Q. Who is the president of AT & T-Bell Labs (AT &
T-Bell Labs is the creator of program languages such
As C, C++, Unix to name a few)?
Ans. Arun Netravalli




Q. Who is the GM of Hewlett Packard?
Ans. Rajiv Gupta




Q. Who is the new MTD (Microsoft Testing Director)
Of Windows 2000,responsible to iron out all initial problems?
Ans. Sanjay Tejwrika




Q. Who are the Chief Executives of CitiBank, Mckensey & Stanchart?
Ans. Victor Menezes, Rajat Gupta, and Rana Talwar.




*We Indians are the wealthiest among all ethnic groups in
America, even faring better than the whites and the natives.
There are 3.22 millions of Indians in USA (1.5% of population). YET,
38% of doctors in USA are Indians.
12% scientists in USA are Indians.
36% of NASA scientists are Indians.
34% of Microsoft employees are Indians.
28% of IBM employees are Indians.
17% of INTEL scientists are Indians.
13% of XEROX employees are Indians.




Some of the following facts may be known to you. These facts
Were recently published in a German magazine, which deals with...




WORLD HISTORY FACTS ABOUT INDIA..




1. India never invaded any country in her last 1000 years of history.




2. India invented the Number system. Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.




3. The world's first University was established in Takshila in 700BC.
More than 10,500 students from all over the world studied more than 60
Subjects.The University of Nalanda built in the 4th century BC was
One of the greatest achievements of ancient India in the field of education.




4. According to the Forbes magazine, Sanskrit is the most suitable
Language for computer software.




5. Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine known to humans.




6. Although western media portray modern images of India as poverty
Striken and underdeveloped through political corruption, India was
Once the richest empire on earth.




7. The art of navigation was born in the river Sindh 5000 years ago. The
Very word "Navigation" is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH.




8. The value of pi was first calculated by Budhayana, and he explained the
Concept of what is now known as the Pythagorean Theorem.British scholars
Have last year (1999) officially published that Budhayan's works dates to
The 6th Century which is long before the European mathematicians.




9. Algebra, trigonometry and calculus came from India. Quadratic equations
Were by Sridharacharya in the 11th Century; the largest numbers the Greeks
And the Romans used were 106 whereas Indians used numbers as big as 1053.




10. According to the Gemological Institute of America, up until 1896, India
Was the only source of diamonds to the world.




11. USA based IEEE has proved what has been a century-old suspicion
Amongst academics that the pioneer of wireless communication was Professor
Jagdeesh Bose and not Marconi.




12. The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation was built in Saurashtra.




13. Chess was invented in India.




14. Sushruta is the father of surgery. 2600 years ago he and health
Scientists of his time conducted surgeries like cesareans, cataract,
Fractures and urinary stones. Usage of anaesthesia was well known in
Ancient India.




15. When many cultures in the world were only nomadic forest dwellers
Over 5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley
(Indus Valley Civilisation) .




16. The place value system, the decimal system was developed in India in 100 BC.




Quotes about India.




We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count, without which no
Worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made.
Albert Einstein.




India is the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the
Mother of history, the grandmother of legend and the great grand mother of
Tradition.
Mark Twain.




If there is one place on the face of earth where all dreams of living men
Have found a home from the very earliest days when man began the dream of
Existence, it is India.
French scholar Romain Rolland.




India conquered and dominated China culturally for 20 centuries
without ever having to send a single soldier across her border Hu Shih
(former Chinese ambassador to USA)







ALL OF THE ABOVE IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG,
THE LIST COULD BE ENDLESS.

[tukz]

TO MY DEAR WIFE:

During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.

I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.

The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be sleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us
Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:

6 times you just laid there
8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling
4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move
KEEP READING..... ..

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= =

TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:

I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:

5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn't cum
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball, etc. on TV
Of the times we did get together:

The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.
I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"
The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.

[guru_sal]

hey tukz gr8 ones
both were excellentTO MY DEAR WIFE:

During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.

I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.

The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be sleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us
Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:

6 times you just laid there
8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling
4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move
KEEP READING..... ..

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= =

TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:

I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:

5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn't cum
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball, etc. on TV
Of the times we did get together:

The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.
I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"
The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.

[guru_sal]

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman ???,????

If you don't, you are not a man ???,????

If you praise her, she thinks you are lying ???,????

If you don't, you are good for nothing ???,????

If you agree to all her likes, she is abusing ???,?????

If you don't, you are not understanding ???,????

If you make romance, you are an 'experienced man' ???,????

If you don't you are half a man ???,????

If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring ???,????

If you don't, she accuses you of double crossing ???,????

If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy ???,????

If you don't, you are a dull boy ???,????

If you are jealous, she says it's bad ???,????

If you don't , she thinks you do not love her ???,????

If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her ???,????

If you don't, she thinks you do not like her ???,????

If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait ???,????

If she is late, she says that's a girl's way ???,????

If you visit another, she accuses you of being a heel ???,????

If she is visited by another, 'oh it's natural, we are girls' ???,????

If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold ???,????

If you kiss her too many, she yells that you are taking advantage ???,????

If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics ????,?????

If you do, she thinks it's just one of the man's tactics ????,?????

If you stare at other, she accuses you of flirting ????,?????

If she is stared by others, she says that they are just admiring ????, ?????

If you talk, she wants you to listen ????,????

If you listen, she wants you to talk ????,?????

Oh God! you created those creature called "WOMAN' ???!??????????

So simple, yet so complex ????

So weak, yet so powerful ????

So confusing, yet so desirable ?????,?????

"O LORD, tell me what to do. AMEN" ???!????????

[guru_sal]

10 Signs your Police Partner need a Vacation

Top 10 signs your partner needs a vacation

1) He keeps handcuffing himself by accident.

2) He is starting to develop a crush on one of the transvestite hookers he arrested.

3) He wants to transfer to a K-9 unit because he thinks he'd look good in a collar.

4) He talks to himself. Half of him is the "good cop", and the other half is the "bad cop."

5) He wants you to call him "Judge Dredd", and he insists that all suspects should be executed right there on the spot.

6) He keeps asking you if his bullet proof vest makes him look fat.

7) He is exchanging donut recipes with complete strangers.

8) The perpetrators beg him to stop talking about his hemorrhoids.

9) Every Tuesday he insists it's his turn to be the siren.

10) He wants to hear less talk and more music on the police channel.

[guru_sal]

13 Signs you Ate too much over the Holidays

By Heather Diodati

13. You "roll" out of bed in the morning...and keep rolling!

12. Even your jeans have stretch marks

11. Your mother-in-law comments about your lace drapes and what a lovely nightgown they'd make you

10. Your husband has suddenly added new locks in the house...to the fridge, the pantry, the freezer, the pet food bin...

9. You've been receiving "Thanks for subscribing" emails from weight loss sites when you haven't subscribed.

8 Your best friend gives you the evil eye whenever you mention the "F" word . . . FOOD!

7. Your husband has added an extra beam under the suddenly-sagging kitchen floor

6. The elephants in the local zoo are whistling in your direction

5. People you meet are congratulating you while glancing at your tummy

4. You need a new scale - the old one says "tilt" each time you step on it

3. You press "UP" in an elevator...and it doesn't

2. You were mistaken for the main act at the Sumo Wrestling match

And the #1 sign you ate too much over the holidays:

1. During your winter vacation, groups of people at the beach stand behind you for shade

[tukz]

hey tukz gr8 ones
both were excellent
thnx a lot n urz r brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiillllllllllll llllllllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnttttttttttttttt

[guru_sal]

hey thankz a lot

[guru_sal]

puzzle for 4 criminals





4 criminals are caught and are to be punished.
The Judge allows them to be freed if they can solve a puzzle.
If they do not, they will be hung. They agreed.




The 4 criminals are lined up on some steps
They are all facing in the same direction.
A wall seperates the fourth man from the other three.

So to summarise :-
Man 1 can see men 2 and 3.
Man 2 can see man 3.
Man 3 can see none of the others.
Man 4 can see none of the others.

The criminals are wearing hats.
They are told that there are two white hats and two black hats.
The men initally don't know what colour hat they are wearing.
They are told to shout out the colour of the hat that
they are wearing as soon as they know for certain what colour it is.

They are not allowed to turn round or move.
They are not allowed to talk to each other.
They are not allowed to take their hats off.

Who is the first person to shout out and why?

PS: There is no trick to the question, just logical deduction.



Ans : Scroll down.







































































The solution to the puzzle

The man who calls out is Number 2.



Why?

After a short time, Number 1 has not shouted out what colour hat he is wearing.
Because of this number 2 knows that he cannot be wearing the same colour hat as the person in front of him.
If he was then number 1 would see two black hats and would therefore know that his hat must be white.

Armed with the knowledge that :-
He isn't wearing the same colour hat as the man in front.
The man in front is wearing a black hat.
number two can confidently shout out that the hat he is wearing is white. Easy wasn't it!

[guru_sal]

weird questions





01.If all the nations in the world are in debt(am not joking. Even US has got debts), where did all the money go? (weird)



02.When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given a thought)



03.What is the speed of darkness? (absurd)



04.If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking)



05.Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows)



06.Can you cry under water? (let me try)



07.Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day? (I think they meant something else)



08.Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows)



09.Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell)



10.Can you get cornered in a round room? (by ones eyes)



11.What does OK actually mean?



12.Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight I will stay and watch)



13.What came first, the fruit or the color orange? (seed)



14.What should one call a male ladybird? (No comments)



15.If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot? (can somebody help)



16.Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes U can)



17.Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange isn't it)



18.If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it? (got to think scientifically)



19.If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens? (I don't have a change to try)



20.Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? (very nice)



21.If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? (this is nice?)



22.Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road? (stupid, break the law)

[guru_sal]

jokes

A Sardar enters shop & shouts, "Where's my free gift
with this oil?"
Shopkeeper: "ISke Saath koi gift nahin hai bhaisaab"
Sard : "Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE!!"

|========|========|========|========|========|==== ====|========|========|========|========|========|


ONE FINE DAY A GIRL PROPOSED TO A SARDAR AND SARDAR DENIED
SIMPLY
SAYING THAT IN OUR FAMILY,WE MARRY ONLY OUR RELATIVES..

MY MOM MARRIED MY DAD,

MY BROTHER MARRIED MY BHABHI ,

MY UNCLE MARRIED MY AUNT AND SO ON.

SO PLEASE EXCUSE ME

!!!!!|========|========|========|========|======== |========|========|========|========|========|==== ====|

Sardars went into a pub and after ordering two beers took some
sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them.

"You can't eat your own sandwiches in here,"
complained the pub-owner.
So the two sardars swapped (exchanged) their sandwiches.

[guru_sal]

JOKES

A sardarji pulled out 6 people from a burning house...
Still he was in jail.......You know why?
Coz all the 6 were firebrigade staff !
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*

I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air,it was blown away.then
I wrote your name on my heart & i got Heart Attack .
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*
God saw me hungry, he created pizza .
He saw me thirsty, he created pepsi .
He saw me in dark, he created light
He saw me without problems, He created YOU.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*
Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*
TEACHER== Name four members of the cat family?
STUDENTS== Daddy cat, Mummy cat and two kittens !
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*
Police man== Stop, stop, your headlights are not working.
The Man== Move, move, even the brakes are not working.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*
Why does history keep repeating itself?
Because we weren't listening for the first time !
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*
An Astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope.
A sardar was observing him, Suddenly a star falls,
Seeing that sardar shouted "kya nishana hai"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*
"Doctor, doctor, will i be able to play the
Violin after the operation?"
"Yes of course...."
"Great ! I never could before"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why dosen't it rain on you?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*
Roses are red, Violets are blue
Monkeys like U should be kept in the zoo.
Don't feel so angry, you will find me there too
Not in cage but laughing at you.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*
When ur life is in darkness pray to God
Ask him to free u from darkness and
Even after you pray and you are still in darkness,
Please pay your ELECTRICITY BILL !

[guru_sal]

D FRND WHO STANDS BY U
When troubles come your soul to try,
You love the friend who just stands by.
Perhaps there's nothing she can do,
The thing is strictly up to you.

For there are troubles all your own,
And paths the soul must tread alone.
Times when love can't smooth the road,
Nor friendship lift the heavy load.

But just to feel you have a friend,
Who will stand by until the end.
Whose sympathy through all endures,
Whose warm hand clasp is always yours.

It helps somehow to pull you through,
Although there's nothing she can do.
And so with fervent heart we cry,
God Bless the friend who just stands by.






_________________
It is very easy to fall in love but it is difficult to find one who can catch you. ..!

[guru_sal]

TUM KEHTI HO MIJHEY

Tum Kehti Ho Mujhay....
Phoolon Say Pyaar Hai....?
Magar Jab Phool Khiltay Hain
To Unhain Tehni Say Tor Dalti Ho....

Tum Kehti Ho Mujhay Baarishoon Say Pyaar Hai...?
Magar Jab Baarish Hoti Hai
To Chuppti Phirti Ho....

Tum Kehti Ho Mujhay Hawaoon Say Pyaar Hai....?
Magar Jab Hawa Chalti Hai
Tu Khirkiyan Band Kar Leti Ho

Phir Us Waqt....
Main Khof Zada Sa Ho Jata Hoon
Jab Tum..... Mujh Se Kehti Ho
Mujhay Tum Say Pyar Hai......

[guru_sal]

NEW BEGGING STYLE

A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him Rs. 10 and that Continues for a year. Then suddenly the daily donation changes to Rs. 7, 50.

"Well," the beggar thinks, "it's still better than nothing ."

A year passes in this way until the man's daily donation suddenly becomes Rs. 5.

"What's going on now?" the beggar asks his donor. "First you give me Rs. 10 every day, then Rs. 7,50 and now only Rs. 5. What's the problem?"

"Well," the man says, "last year my eldest son went to university. It's very expensive, so I had to cut costs. This year my eldest daughter also went to university, so I had to cut my expenses even further."

"And how many children do you have?" the beggar asks.

"Four," the man replies.

"Well," says the beggar, "I hope you don't plan to educate them all at my expense .



_________________
"A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and Honest people are screwed first."

[guru_sal]

Chand par aapna naam likhne ko dil chahata hai,

Chand par aapna naam likhne ko dil chahata hai......,

par kya kare kambakhtt ye kayal dupehar me hi aata hai!

[animateash]

kool ones guru

lvu ash

[animateash]

Today's Joke: HOW SOFTWARE COMPANIES HIRE PEOPLE?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cognizant Method :

Hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to
do.
give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.
hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit
give them same gobi 65 to eat
hire 200 more....... and more .......


TCS method:

Hire a lion
give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary lion dies of
hunger and frustration


IBM's metbod:

hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour... he dies of
unemployment...


Syntel Method:

Hire a Cat ...
assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite
and make sure that he never reaches onsite.
Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....


MBT method:

hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't
score 60% he will lose the job.
Lion dies of the strain?


i-Flex method:

Hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African
safari for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if
he comes alive he will get band movement (promotion) holy cow dies in
fear of the real lion.


Polaris Method:

hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ..
change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM)
cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....


Patni method:

hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...
the lion dies before joining....


Wipro Method:
Hire a Lion,
give him a mail Id.
he will die recieving stupid mails all day........!!!!


Accenture Method:

*Hire a lion.... **
Send him to chennai
Ask him to stay on bench for a long time
Ask him to eat idli,Dosa and Vada
No hindi, kannada or no other languages speaking ppl other than
TAMIL...
No good food, No water..and specially No Beautiful girls
And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".
Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion......

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Visual Joke: The way files Move in Govt departments...
~~~~~~~~~~~~

http://www.funtoosh.com?dj.php?details=IND~259

[animateash]

Men and Women on planet earth die from various places throughout the world at a particular moment in time and go to God's abode to be judged.




The God welcomes this new batch and tries his experimental new judgement trick and says," I want all you humans to form two queues.




One line is for the men who dominated their women, and the other one for the men who were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go away from here so that no man and woman can talk and I can talk to men alone."




When the women were gone, the Almighty returns and there are two lines. The line for the men who were dominated by their women is a hundred miles long, and in the line of men who dominated their women there is only one solitary man.




The God about to open his third eye of anger, thunders, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!"




"Come and tell all them henpecked, my brave son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?" God asked.




The nervous man replies, "I don't know sir, but my wife told me to stand here, until this is over ."

[luckysd]

Hey guru and ash...........nice jokes..............really funny:D

[animateash]

Hey guru and ash...........nice jokes..............really funny:D
thanx a alot

[luckysd]

thanx a alot
U r welcum

[guru_sal]

kool ones guru

lvu ash
thankz ash jee

[guru_sal]

Men and Women on planet earth die from various places throughout the world at a particular moment in time and go to God's abode to be judged.




The God welcomes this new batch and tries his experimental new judgement trick and says," I want all you humans to form two queues.




One line is for the men who dominated their women, and the other one for the men who were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go away from here so that no man and woman can talk and I can talk to men alone."




When the women were gone, the Almighty returns and there are two lines. The line for the men who were dominated by their women is a hundred miles long, and in the line of men who dominated their women there is only one solitary man.




The God about to open his third eye of anger, thunders, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!"




"Come and tell all them henpecked, my brave son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?" God asked.




The nervous man replies, "I don't know sir, but my wife told me to stand here, until this is over ."
hey ash nice one

[guru_sal]

Hey guru and ash...........nice jokes..............really funny:D
hey thankz a lot

[luckysd]

hey thankz a lot
Hey u r welcum

[guru_sal]

My Hearts is in your hands


So many roads I've traveled
That brought me here to you
A winding path that led me
To arms so warm and true

You hold me like no other
I feel so filled with peace
My heart is filled with rapture
My soul feels such release

Forever you are captured
Within this love we share
Together we know happiness
Our love beyond compare

No road I ever traveled
Has brought so much to me
Journey that will always be
Love's sweetest destiny

Cleave to me in spirit
While on the roads you roam
Your spirit lives within me
Your heart is now my home

Bound with so much beauty
This love will never die
My Knight of Love you save me
Our castle in the sky.



_________________

[animateash]

My Hearts is in your hands


So many roads I've traveled
That brought me here to you
A winding path that led me
To arms so warm and true

You hold me like no other
I feel so filled with peace
My heart is filled with rapture
My soul feels such release

Forever you are captured
Within this love we share
Together we know happiness
Our love beyond compare

No road I ever traveled
Has brought so much to me
Journey that will always be
Love's sweetest destiny

Cleave to me in spirit
While on the roads you roam
Your spirit lives within me
Your heart is now my home

Bound with so much beauty
This love will never die
My Knight of Love you save me
Our castle in the sky.



_________________


222 cool

lvu ash

[tukz]

hey guru n ash dey vere really funny

[guru_sal]

222 cool

lvu ash
thankz a lot

[guru_sal]

hey guru n ash dey vere really funny
hey thankz a lot

[animateash]

hey guru n ash dey vere really funny
thanx a alot

luv ash

[luckysd]

My Hearts is in your hands


So many roads I've traveled
That brought me here to you
A winding path that led me
To arms so warm and true

You hold me like no other
I feel so filled with peace
My heart is filled with rapture
My soul feels such release

Forever you are captured
Within this love we share
Together we know happiness
Our love beyond compare

No road I ever traveled
Has brought so much to me
Journey that will always be
Love's sweetest destiny

Cleave to me in spirit
While on the roads you roam
Your spirit lives within me
Your heart is now my home

Bound with so much beauty
This love will never die
My Knight of Love you save me
Our castle in the sky.



_________________


Hey guru again nice jokes

[guru_sal]

Hey guru again nice jokes
hey thankz a lot but lucky dis is not a kjoke re.

[guru_sal]

BAD MEMORY



Bad Memory

A couple in their 80's were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they are physically okay, but they might have to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. His wife asks, "Where are you going?" "To the kitchen for a drink," he replies. She asks, " Will you get me piece of cake?" The husband says, "Sure." She gently reminds him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you don't forget it?" He says, "No, I can certainly remember that!"

Then the woman says, "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top. You'd better write it down because I know you'll forget it." The man replies, "I can remember that! You want some cake with strawberries. "

She adds, "I'd also like whipped cream on top. Now I'm certain you're gonna forget that, so you'd better write it down ok." Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down woman! I can remember that! Cakewith strawberries! And whipped cream!" He then grumbles into the kitchen.

After about 30 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "Where's my toast?"

[guru_sal]

Phool ki shuruvat kali se hoti hai,
Zindagi ki shuruvat pyar se hoti hai,
Pyar ki shuruvat apno se hoti hai aur
apno ki shuruvat aapse hoti hai.
* Happy Diwali *



"Aaj se aap ke yahan...dhan. .. ki barsat ho,
Maa laxmi ka... vaas... ho, sankatto ka.... nash... ho
har dil par aapka... raj... ho, unnati ka sar par... taj... ho
ghar me shanti ka.... vaas... ho
* HAPPY DIWALI *



Deep Jalte jagmagate rahe, Hum aapko Aap hame yaad aate rahe,
Jab tak zindagi hai, dua hai hamari 'Aap Chand ki tarah Jagmagate rahe...' Happy Diwali



Ek Dua Mangte hai hum apne Bhagwan se...
Chahte hai Aapki Khushi Pure imaan se,
Sab Hasratein Puri Ho Aapki,
Aur Aap Muskaraye Dil-o-Jaan se!!
Happy Diwali and New Year that leads you on the road of Success.




Gul ne gulshan se gulfam bheja hai,
sitaro ne gagan se salam bheja hai,
Mubarak ho apko ye "DIWALI"
Humne tahe dil se yeh paigam bheja hai.



Safalta Kadam Chumti rahe,
Khushi Aaspas ghumti rahe,
Yash Itna faile ki KASTURI Sharma Jaye,
Laxmi ki kripa itni ho ki BALAJI bhi dekhte rah jaye,
Happy Diwali




Diwali Parva hai Khushio ka,
Ujalo ka, Laxmi ka.... Is Diwali Aapki Jindagi khushio se bhari ho,
Duniya ujalo se roshan ho, ghar par Maa Laxmi ka Aagman ho...
Happy Diwali



Laxmi aayegi itni ki sab jagah Naam hoga,
Din raat vyapar bade itna adhik kaam hoga,
Ghar Pariwar samaj me banoge Sartaj, Yehi Kamna hai hamari aap ke liye
Diwali ki Dhero Shubh Kamanaye...




I Pray to God to give U
Shanti,
Shakti,
Sampati,
Swarup,
Saiyam,
Saadgi,
Safalta,
Samridhi,
Sanskar,
Swaasth,
Sanmaan,
Saraswati,
aur SNEH.
SHUBH DIWALI...



Laksh Divyani Ujalali Nisha Ghevuni Navi Umed,
navi asha Hotil purna manatil sarva Iccha,
Diwalichya Tumhala Khup Khup Shubheccha.. .
* * * Happy Diwali * * *



Sukh, Shanti, Samadhan, Samruddhi, Aaishwarya, Arogya, Pratishtha ya Saptarangi Divya ni aaple Jeevan Prakashmay hovo.
Happy Deepaval.



With gleam of Diyas
And the Echo of the Chants
May Happiness and Contentment Fill Your life
Wishing you a very happy and prosperous Diwali!!




May the Divine Light of Diwali Spread into your Life Peace, Prosperity, Happiness and Good Health.
Happy Diwali


Troubles as light as Air,
love as deep as Ocean,
Friends as Solid as Diamonds,
and Success as bright as Gold...
These are the wishes for you and your family on the eve of Diwali and EID. Eid ki Mubarakbadi aur Diwali ki Shubhkamana!




With my
1 heart
2 eyes
7 liter blood
206 bones
4.5 million red cells
60 trillion D N A"S...
All wishing you a very very
HAPPY DIWALI!


0 days
312 hours
18720 mins..
1123200 seconds...
are left.... I think i am the first person to
wish U HAPPY DIWALI…..



Dali ne dali par nazar dali, kisi ne is par dali, kisi ne uspar dali, hum ne jis par nazar dali, uske baap ne uski shaadi kahin aur kar dali. Anyways wish u Happy Diwali..





Happy Diwali to you and your family. Celebrate with crackers and diyas... fly kites! Get drunk.. Just like I am right now... Happy Holi…. Sorry….Diwali once again.



Tumhari Diwali ho number one, aur tum karo whole lotta fun! wishing you a happy & dhamakedaar diwali…



Apun wishing u a wonderful,
super-duper, zabardast, xtra-badhiya, xtra special ekdum mast n dhinchak, bole to ekdum Jhakaas "HAPPY DiWALi"

[guru_sal]

Tu Kahin Bhi Rahay Sar Per Tere Ilzam To Hai
Tere Hathon Ki Lakiron mein Mera Naam To Hai


Mujh Ko Tu Apna Bana Ya na Bana Teri Khushi
Tu Zamanay Mein mere Naam Se Badnaam To hai


Mere Hissay Mein Koi Jaam na Aaya Na sahi
Teri mehfil mein Mere Naam Koi Shaam To Hai


Dekh Ker Log Mujhe Tera Naam Letay Hain
Is Pey Main Khush Hoon Mohabbat ka yeh anjam to hai


Woh Sitamghar he sahi Dekh kay Us ko
Shuker Is Dil -e-Bimaar ko Aaram to hai


Tu Kahin bhi Rahay Sar Per Tere Ilzam To hai
Tere Hathon Ki lakiron Mein Mera Naam To Hai

[guru_sal]

Teray intezar mein najane kitne pal beetay
Tu abhi aye ga yeh soch kitney kal beetay


Dayar-e-ghair mein hasti tu yoon basa aya
Meray armanon ki ek qabr tu bana aya


Tu kehta kabhi to tujh pay khushian nisar kar detay
Hum teri zindagi ko is tarha bagh-o-bahar kar detay


Ajab hai yeh magar taqdeer ka fasana hai
Pehlay intezar, tarapnay ka ab zamana hai

[guru_sal]

Badi asaani se dil lgaaye jaate hain
par badi mushkil se waade nibhaye jaate hain
le jaati hai mohabbat un raaho par
jaha diye nahi dil jalaaye jaate hain "
________________________________________

"Phool khilte rahein zindgi ki raah mein
hassi chamakti rahe aapki nigaah mein
kadam kadam par mile khushi ki bhaar aapko
dil deta hai yehi dua baar-baar aapko"
_______________________________________

"Humse door jayoge kaise,
Dil se hume bhulayoge kaise,
Hum to vo khusboo hain jo aapki saanso mein baste hain,
Khud ki saanso ko rok payoge kaise "
________________________________________

"Yaad karte hai tumhe tanhai mein,
dil dooba hai gamo ki gehrai mein,
hume mat dhoondna duniya ki bhid mein,
hum millenge tumhe tumhari parchaai mein"
________________________________________

"Jub khamosh aankho se bat hoti hai
aise hi mohabbat ki suruwat hoti hai
tumhare hi khayalo mein khoye rehte hain p
ata nahi kab din kab raat hoti hai"
________________________________________

"Khubsurat hai zindagi khwaab ki tarah,
jaane kab tut jaye kanch ki tarah ,
kisi mod pe mulakat ho gai hamari to
ankhen mat modna anjano ki tarah"
________________________________________

"Khud ko khud ki khabar na lage,
koi achha b is kadar na lage,a
ap ko dekha hai bas us nazar se,
jis nazar se aap ko nazar na lage... "
________________________________________

"Khamosh raat ke pehalu me sitare nahi hote,
in rukhi aankho me rangin nazare na hote...
Ham bhi na karte parwah
agar aap itne pyare na hote.. "
________________________________________

"Dil ko adat si ho gai he chot khane ki,
bhigi palko ke sang muskrane ki,
kash anjam hum pehle se jaan jate,
to kosish bhi nahi karte dil lagane ki. "
________________________________________

"Zuban hi sirf ek zaria nahi,
jo aap shabdon ko samajh paayenge.
kabhi aankhon mein jhaank kar dekhiye,
hazaro alfaz khud b khud bikhar jayenge."
________________________________________

"Zindagi main kabhi gum hai to kabhi khushi,
kabhi hasaati hai to kabhi rulati hai.
khud se jyada kisi pe bharosa mat karna,
kyon ki andhere main to parchai bhi saat chod jaati
hai.. "
_______________________________________

"Aapki muskan hamari kamjori hai,
Keh na pana hamari majburi hai,
Aap kyon nahin samajhte is khamoshi ko,
Kya khamoshi ko zuban dena jaruri hai? "
________________________________________

"Bhoolneki tujhe najane hum kitne vade karte hain,
Kaise bhoolu tujhe,yeh sochker tume yaad karte hain,
Jab bhi hota hai zikr zamane mein pyar aur wafaa ki,
To tumhe bewafa ke bahane yaad karte hain "
________________________________________

"Vo maut badi suhani hogi...
jo dosti me tumhari ani hogi...
ye wada raha...tumse pehle hum jayege...
tumhare swagat ki rasm waha bhi nibhani
hogi...!!! "

[guru_sal]

1. u may have someone in u r mind,someone in u r heart someone in u r dreams someone in u r life but i would b u r some one when u have no one


2.To share what is difficult,To heal what is hurting,To think what is not possible,To understand without even talking....Is the miracle called "FRIENDSHIP"


3.To hear what is unspoken, to see what is unseen, to feel without even touching... is the miracle called FRIENDSHIP. THnKs 4 ShaRiNG iT WiTh mE.


4.Destiny decides who u meet in Life,But its only ur heart that can decide..Who gets to stay in your Life!


5.The spaces between ur fingers were created...so that another person's fingers wud fill 'em in....Hope u find the hand that u r meant to hold on 4 ever!


6.When things go wrong,When sadness fills ur heart,When tears flow in ur eyes,Jus let me know, i want to b there 4 u,coz am selling tissues, buy 3 get 1 free!



7.Life Counts by the roads we travel. Some r smooth, some r rough, some I'd rather forget. but theres one road I wont regret: the road where we met & became frenz!


8.God gave me a choice between having a wonderful frnd like u or to have a good memory....I dont remember what i chose!!


9.The Virtue of True Love is not finding the perfect person,But loving the Imperfect Person Perfectly.Love doesn't have a happy Ending,Coz it simply never Ends!


10.Winter comes again n again,Summer comes again n again,But a frnd like u never comes again coz god never makes a mistake again n again!


11.If i ever sent u a bunch of roses,I'll put in a fake one in between and will say "Our frndship will last till the last 1 dies"


12.Whts wrong with ur cell? Tried calling ur no. many times. But everytime operator says "da person ur trying to call is in ur heart!"


13.If i wud ever need u, I know u'd be there. I'm glad u r my frnd ..ur smile makes me smile..ur pain makes me hurt...I will never stop being ur frnd...Dont ever stop being mine!


14.NOBODY TEACHES THE SUN 2 RISE...A BIRD 2 FLY...A CHILD 2 CRY...A PLANT 2 GROW...AND NOBODY TEACHES A HEART 2 CHOOSE A FRIEND LIKE U!


15. Wen i go wrong,i need ur hands 2 correct it.Wen emotins burst out,i ned ur hand 2 catch 'em.Wen i win i need ur hand 2 pat me. In short-YE HATH MUJHE DEDO Thakur!


16.The twinkle in ur eyes makes my day,ur smile makes my week,ur laugh makes my month,ur sweetness makes my year,and ur friendship makes my life!


17.If friendship can be sold or brought like shares & debentures,then ppl who have invested in u,have become Billionaires like me me me!


18.Ur friendship has a brightness of sun,coolness of moon,remember they can be eclipsed for a while,but let our friendship live with a smile!


19.Smtimes I SMS U, smtimes I dont, Smtimes I reply, smtimes I wont, but no matter how many times that Smtimes is, U'll be my friend not 4 smtime but 4 lifetime...


20. 1 day u'll B srprisd 2 c ME beside U.U & ME laughing,U & ME crying,U & ME dreaming,U & ME holding on,U & ME...just U & ME sitting in a MENTAL HOSPITAL & ME CHECKING U.


21.If u hide, i'll seek 4 u. If u r lost, i'll search 4 u. If u'll leave, i'll wait 4 u. If days take u away 4m me, i'll fight 4 u. But, if u stop sending msgs, i'll kill you.


22.dosti ka pahla paigam aapke nam..zindagi ki aakhiri sham aapke nam, is safar me humsafar hai hum dono, dosti ko nibhana hai aapka kaam aur apun karega aaraam..


23.SOMETIMES MY EYES GEET JEALOUS OF MY HEART u know y ? Guesss........... Bcoz a sweet friend lik u remains close 2 my heart and far away from my eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!


23.may god give u tata ka status, vajpayee ka dheeraz, laaden ki himmat, bill gates ki income, aur bush ki taqak.. baaki sardar ka dimag to hai hi.


24.If you see some one without a smile,give him one of yours ,because you are among a few good people who can shine others lives by just walking with him a few miles.


25.Talk 2 me wen I’m Bored, B with me wen i’m Sad, Hug me wen i Cry, Care 4 me wen i’m Sick, Don’t ever cry 4 me wen I die! Just treasure me wen I’m ALIVE.


26. friendship is a network which needs no recharge, no roaming.... no validity, no activation.....no signal problems ...just dont switch it off......


27.Who invented A,B,C,D,E ,....Z did a great thing. But he kept U and I very very far. But I still got a place where U and I are very close. Do you know where U and I can be together. It is on the keyboard. Don't see the keyboard now!!

[guru_sal]

Aai mere sapno ki Rani
Kya tu bhi hai meri diwani
Main toh hu tera dewana
Teri sooch mein nahi rehta thikana
Dhoondta rehta hu bahana
Phir bhi tu nahi aati meri jana
Meri jaan mere dil mein zara jhak kar toh dhekh
Mere dil mein hai tere pyar ki murat ek
Murat jise chahata hu main itna
Use pata hi nahi utna
Chaha hai jise chahat se jyada
Samjha hai jise apne aap se zyada
Yeh main janta hu ya dil janta hai
Aah meri jaan mera saab kuch tu apna kar le
Bas mujhe apni baahon mein bhar le
Tera liye main kuch bhi ho sakta hu
Par mere liye tu woh hai
Jiske liya main dil-o-zigar jaan de sakta hu
Tu kahe to saans lena chod sakta hu
Bas mere sapno ki duniya se bahar aaja
Aur meri asliyat ki duniya mein aake
Meri baahon mein shama ja

[guru_sal]

WHAT IS ATTITUDE

What's attitude?

Three ants saw an elephant.

First ant: We will kill him.

Second ant: We will break his leg.

Third ant: Leave him dude he is alone and we are three, that won't be fair.

[luckysd]

hey guys here r some nice jokes for u................(not written by me................i hav got it frm somewere else)

Tension
The moment you are in.......... ......... .TENSION,
You will lose your........ ......... ........ ATTENTION,
Then you are in total....... ......... .....CONFUSION,
and you'll feel........ ......... ......... .......IRRITATIO N,
This may spoil your personal.... . RELATIONS,
Ultimately, you won't get......... ... CO-OPERATION,
And get things into........ ......... ...... COMPLICATION,
Then you may raise....... ......... ........ CAUTION,
And you have to take........ ......... ....MEDICATION,
Why not try understanding the....... SITUATION,
And try to think about the......... ........ SOLUTION,
Many problems will be solved by......DISCUSSION,
Which will work out better in your......PROFESSIO N,
Don't think this is a free........ ......... ......SUGGESTION ,
It is only for your........ ......... ......... ........PREVENTI ON,
If you understand my.......... ......... ........ INTENTION,
you'll never come again into........ ........TENSION


An Important message
!@#^*%# ()FCGHF*&^((


(&#$UFFH$(*&%$)^(%^_

(%&(*#&%#(*vcjxhvdj





jknsdkfoai jupoeu )*$*$()^*+&_*)&^*_)




)(*%^() OGJHOP*Y*_)*$_@#$!)









DON ka msg samajhna mushkil hi nahi namumkin hai!


Who's the hero????
Ram ne Sita se shaadi ki,

Ravan ne Sita ka apaharan kiya,

Hanuman ne Sita ko bachaya,

To ab batao, vastav mein hero kaun hai ?

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Sanjay Dutt !!! )

SAWAL theek se padho ...



VAASTAV MEIN HERO KAUN ???

[animateash]

hey guru and lucky dam cool ones

[guru_sal]

hey guys here r some nice jokes for u................(not written by me................i hav got it frm somewere else)

Tension
The moment you are in.......... ......... .TENSION,
You will lose your........ ......... ........ ATTENTION,
Then you are in total....... ......... .....CONFUSION,
and you'll feel........ ......... ......... .......IRRITATIO N,
This may spoil your personal.... . RELATIONS,
Ultimately, you won't get......... ... CO-OPERATION,
And get things into........ ......... ...... COMPLICATION,
Then you may raise....... ......... ........ CAUTION,
And you have to take........ ......... ....MEDICATION,
Why not try understanding the....... SITUATION,
And try to think about the......... ........ SOLUTION,
Many problems will be solved by......DISCUSSION,
Which will work out better in your......PROFESSIO N,
Don't think this is a free........ ......... ......SUGGESTION ,
It is only for your........ ......... ......... ........PREVENTI ON,
If you understand my.......... ......... ........ INTENTION,
you'll never come again into........ ........TENSION


An Important message
!@#^*%# ()FCGHF*&^((


(&#$UFFH$(*&%$)^(%^_

(%&(*#&%#(*vcjxhvdj





jknsdkfoai jupoeu )*$*$()^*+&_*)&^*_)




)(*%^() OGJHOP*Y*_)*$_@#$!)









DON ka msg samajhna mushkil hi nahi namumkin hai!


Who's the hero????
Ram ne Sita se shaadi ki,

Ravan ne Sita ka apaharan kiya,

Hanuman ne Sita ko bachaya,

To ab batao, vastav mein hero kaun hai ?

. . . . . . . . . . .

Scroll down for the answer



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Sanjay Dutt !!! )

SAWAL theek se padho ...



VAASTAV MEIN HERO KAUN ???

kya baat hai lucky jee .
good .no very good.

[guru_sal]

jokes




Manager asked to sardar at an interview
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in
it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O- X.

Teacher to Sardar: Write your best friend's name in
English.
Sardar wrote: ' Beautiful Red Underware'
Teacher: What?
Sardar: His name is Sundar Lal Chaddi

After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked
his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man
born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
So Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't
know who is Jayanthi.

Sardar was doing experiment with cockroach, first he
cut it's one leg and told WALK. WALK. Cockroach
walked. Then he cut it's second leg and told the
same. Cockroach walked. Then cut the third leg and
did the same. At last he cut it's fourth leg and
ordered it walk! But cockroach didn't walk. Suddenly
sardar said loudly, "I found it. If we cut cockroach's
four legs, it becomes deaf.

On a political rally sardar was arrested. Why??? A
woman journalist walking with a badge wrote "PRESS"
and He did it..

When sarda r was traveling with his wife in an auto,
the driver adjusted mirror. Sardar shouted, "You are
trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will drive.

Sardar went in a hotel. To wash hands he went to the
washbasin. There he started washing the basin. Seeing
this, the manager asked what was he doing. Sardar
pointed towards the board "WASH BASIN"

Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor, it caught
fire and how will you escape?
Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination! !!

[guru_sal]

This is a love letter from a boy to a girl....
However, the girl's father does not like him and wants them to stop their relationship. ..... and so.. The boy wrote this letter to the girl.. he knows that the girl's father will definitely read this letter..

1 "The great love that I have for you
2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3 grows every day. When I see you,
4 I do not even like your face;
5 the one thing that I want to do is to
6 look at other girls. I never wanted to
7 marry you. Our last conversation
8 was very boring and has not
9 made me look forward to seeing you again.
10 You think only of yourself.
11 If we were married, I know that I would find
12 life very difficult, and I would have no
13 pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14 to give, but it is not something that
15 I want to give to you. No one is more
16 foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
17 able to care for me and help me.
18 I sincerely want you to understand that
19 I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20 if you think this is the end. Do not try
21 to answer this. Your letters are full of
22 things that do not interest me. You have no
23 true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
24 I do not care for you. Please do not think that
25 I am still your boyfriend."

So bad!! However, before handing over the letter to
the girl, the boy told the girl to " READ BETWEEN THE LINES", meaning-only to read 1.3.5.7.9.11. 13 (Odd No. s) go read it once again but
the Odd Number lines ....

[guru_sal]

Na Ye Chemistry Hoti ,

Na Mein Student Hota


Na Ye Lab Hoti,

Na Ye Accident Hota



Abhi Practical Mein Aaye Nazar Ek Ladki

Sundar Thi Naak Uski Test Tube Jaisi



Baton Mein Uski Glucose Ki Mithas Thi

Sanson Mein Ester Ki Khushbu Bhi Sath Thi



Aankhon Se Jhalakta Tha

Kuch Is Taranh Ka Pyaar

Bin Piye Hi Ho Jata Tha

Alcohol Ka Khumar



Benzene Sa Hota Tha

Uski Presence Ka Ehsas

Andhere Mein Hota Tha

Radium Ka Abhas



Nazrein Mileen, Reaction Hua

Kuch Is Taranh Love Ka Production Hua



Lagne Lage Us Ke Ghar Ke Chakkar Aise

Nucleus Ke Charon Taraf Electron Hon Jaise



Us Din Hamare Test Ka Confirmation Hua

Jab Uske Daddy Se Hamara Introduction Hua



Sun Kar Hamari Baat Woh Aise Uchal Pare

Ignition Tube Mein Jaise Sodium Bharak Uthe



Woh Bole, Hosh Mein Aao, Pahchano Apni Auqat

Iron Mil Nahin Sakta Kabhi Gold Ke Sath



Ye Sun Kar Tuta Hamare Armanon Bhara Beaker

Aur Hum Chup Rahe Benzaldehyde Ka Karwa Ghoont Pi Kar



Ab Us Ki Yaadon Ke Siwa Hamara Kam Chalta Na Tha

Aur Lab Mein Hamare Dil Ke Siva Kuch Aur Jalta
Na Tha



Zindagi Ho Gayee Unsaturated Hydrocarbon Ki Taranh

Aur Hum Phirte Hain Awara Hydrogen Ki Tarhan.

[guru_sal]

. A man caught a pickpocket redhanded and said, “Are you not ashamed to pick my pocket?” The pick pocket said, “You should be ashamed sir, you donot have even a rupee in your pocket”.

2. A history teacher asked a seven year old boy, “Can you discribe a big fight?” The student got up and said, “Miss I know many fights but my mother has asked me not to tell them out side”.

3. One day a Judge asked a thief in the Court, “Are you not ashamed to come to the court almost every month?” The Thief said, “You should be ashamed sir, You come here everyday.

4. One day a mother asked her small daughter, “Why are you shouting? Can’t you play quietly like your brother Ramesh?” The girl replied, “Mummy, Ramesh has taken daddy’s role, where as I have taken yours.”

5. One day a man went to the shop and asked the shopkeer, “Do you have biscuits for dogs?” The shopkeeper looked at him and asked, “Do you want to eat them here or do you want to take them home.”



_________________

[sush'n'remix]

Na Ye Chemistry Hoti ,

Na Mein Student Hota


Na Ye Lab Hoti,

Na Ye Accident Hota



Abhi Practical Mein Aaye Nazar Ek Ladki

Sundar Thi Naak Uski Test Tube Jaisi



Baton Mein Uski Glucose Ki Mithas Thi

Sanson Mein Ester Ki Khushbu Bhi Sath Thi



Aankhon Se Jhalakta Tha

Kuch Is Taranh Ka Pyaar

Bin Piye Hi Ho Jata Tha

Alcohol Ka Khumar



Benzene Sa Hota Tha

Uski Presence Ka Ehsas

Andhere Mein Hota Tha

Radium Ka Abhas



Nazrein Mileen, Reaction Hua

Kuch Is Taranh Love Ka Production Hua



Lagne Lage Us Ke Ghar Ke Chakkar Aise

Nucleus Ke Charon Taraf Electron Hon Jaise



Us Din Hamare Test Ka Confirmation Hua

Jab Uske Daddy Se Hamara Introduction Hua



Sun Kar Hamari Baat Woh Aise Uchal Pare

Ignition Tube Mein Jaise Sodium Bharak Uthe



Woh Bole, Hosh Mein Aao, Pahchano Apni Auqat

Iron Mil Nahin Sakta Kabhi Gold Ke Sath



Ye Sun Kar Tuta Hamare Armanon Bhara Beaker

Aur Hum Chup Rahe Benzaldehyde Ka Karwa Ghoont Pi Kar



Ab Us Ki Yaadon Ke Siwa Hamara Kam Chalta Na Tha

Aur Lab Mein Hamare Dil Ke Siva Kuch Aur Jalta
Na Tha



Zindagi Ho Gayee Unsaturated Hydrocarbon Ki Taranh

Aur Hum Phirte Hain Awara Hydrogen Ki Tarhan.







gur all ur posts r vry funny.
luved all of dem especially dis chem 1 .did u write it?

[guru_sal]

gur all ur posts r vry funny.
luved all of dem especially dis chem 1 .did u write it?
thankz a lot .
wat do u think kisne likha honga??

[luckysd]

kya baat hai lucky jee .
good .no very good.
Hey guru thanx a lot....................and urs r also awesum

[guru_sal]

Hey guru thanx a lot....................and urs r also awesum
ne time lucky
welcome
and thankz

[luckysd]

hey guru and lucky dam cool ones
Hey ash thanx a lot:D :)

[sush'n'remix]

thankz a lot .
wat do u think kisne likha honga??

guru i jst realized ki all dis is written 4m d point of view of a boy
but pata nahi u may hav still written it:D

[tukz]

hey guru,lucky both...osssom yaar

[guru_sal]

hey guru,lucky both...osssom yaar
hey tukz thankz a lot

[guru_sal]

guru i jst realized ki all dis is written 4m d point of view of a boy
but pata nahi u may hav still written it:D
hey actually my bro started writing dis .but he left it .so i complete it

[guru_sal]

Don't Wait to Be Happy
Be Happy Now

We convince ourselves that life will be better
after we get married, have a baby, then another.
Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old
enough. We'll be more content when they are.

After that, we're frustrated that we have
teenagers to deal with.
We will certainly be happy when
they are out of " that stage ".

We tell ourselves that our life will
be complete when our spouse gets his
or her act together. When we get a nicer car,
when we are able to go on a nice vacation, or when we retire.

The truth is, there's no better time
to be happy than right now. If not now, when?
Your life will " always " be filled with challenges.
It's best to admit this to yourself and decide
to be happy anyway. Happiness is the way.

So, treasure " every " moment!
Treasure it more because you
shared it with someone special.
Special enough to spend
your time with...

Remember that time waits for no one.
Happiness is like sugar,
Just a little can make you smile.

[guru_sal]

WHOM TO BLAME

Boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a
Loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was
Around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle
Open.


He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep
It in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot
The matter.


The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by
Its colour and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine
Meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother
Hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She
Was terrified how to face her husband.


When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child ,
He looked at his wife and uttered just five words.



QUESTIONS:


1. What were the five words?
2. What is the implication of this story?



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ANSWER :

The husband just said " I am with you Darling"


The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behaviour. The
Child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point
In finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to
Keep the bottle away, this would not have happened.


No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she
Needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband.
That is what he gave her.


If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would
Be much fewer problems in the world. " A journey of a thousand miles
Begins with a single step." Take off all your envies, jealousies,
Unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are
Actually not as difficult as you think.



MORAL OF THE STORY



Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame,
Whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this
Way we miss out some warmth in human relationship.

[guru_sal]

1)apni vo mulakaat kuch adhoori si lagi
paas hoke bhi doori si lagi
hothon pe hansi aankho pe mazboori si lagi
zindgi main pahli baar kisi ki dosti itni zaroori si lagi


2) ye khuda hamari tarha unko tanhaai na de
hum jee lenge tanha magar unko judaai na de
hamari nigaahon main basi rahe unki surat
unko bhale hi hum dikhai na den


3)aaj kah diya fir na kahna kabhi
meri nazron se door tum na rahna kabhi
khusi ban kar lafzon main aae ho tum
asq ban kar aankho se na bahna kabhi


4)shaam ki tanhaai main kho na jaana
baarish ki masti main doob na jaana
milegi zindgi main manjil tumhe
use pa kar hume bhool na jaana


5) na jaane kuon si baat aakhri ho
na jaane kuon si raat aakhri ho
karni hai to kar lo jee bhar kar baaten
na jaane kuon si mulakaat aakhri ho


6) tumhe apna raaz na bata paae to kya hoga
khusi ke waqt aansoo nikal aae to kya hoga
humne tumhe zindgi ka humsafar samjha
tum do kadam bhi saath na chal paae to kya hoga


7) teri yaadon ke sahaare duniya main rah lete hain
teri judaai ka gum chup chaap sah lete hain
samjhaya dil ko ye raaz chupana
par aansoo ban kar wo sab kah dete hain


8) pyaasi nighahon ne harpal unka didaar maanga
jayse amawas ne har raat chaand maanga
rooth gaya vo khuda bhi humse
jab humne har duwa main unka saath maanga

9) tum tamanna karo jin baharon ki
wo bahar aapke kadmo main ho
khuda aapko wo hakikat main de
jo socha aapne khowabon main ho


10) mujhe kisi ne bewafa ka naam diya
saathi ne jayse zahar ka jaam diya
jo kabhi kaha karte the,bhula mat dena
unhone hi bhul jaane ka paigaam de diya

11) sitam ko humne berukhi samjha
pyar ko humne bandgi samjha
tum cahe hume jo bhi samjho
par humne to tumhe apni zindgi samjha

12) teri tanhaai ke tasabbur main
teri tasveer ubhar aati hai
tu nahi hai to teri yaad sahi
zindgi kuch to sawar jaati hai

13) dilon main aarzoo ke diye jalte rahenge
aankho se aansoo nikalte rahenge
tum sama ban kar dil main roshni kar do
hum mom ban kar yun hi pighate rahenge

15) teri judaai bhi hume pyar karti hai
teri yaad bahot bekraar karti hai
vo din jo tere saath guzre
talaas unko nazar baar baar karti hai

16) jeeyo itna ki marna muskil ho jaae
hanso itna ki rona muskil ho jae
kisi ko chahna acchi baat hai
magar na caho itna ki bhulana muskil ho jae

17)har baar dil se ye paigaam aae
jubaan kholoon to tera hi naam aae
tum hi kkyon bhae is dil ko..kya maloom
jab ki nazron ke aage haseen tamaam aae

18)wo roothte rahe aur hum manate rahe
unki raahon main palke bichate rahe
unhone kabhi palat kar bhi na dekha
aur hum aankh jhapkaane se bhi katraate rahe

19) bahot chaha magar unhe bhula na sake
khyaalon main kisi aur ko la na sake
kisi ko dekh kar aansoo to poch liya
par kisi ko dekh kar muskra na sake

20)


New

ye khuda ye duwa meri khali na jaae
mere mahboob ki palkon main paani na aae
aansoo nikle to khusi ke nikle
gum ke aansoo mere hisse main aa jaen
CHOR DIYA HAMARA SAATH TO KOI GUM NAHI
BHOOL JAOGE AAP HUME,BHOOLNE WALE HUM NAHI
TUMSE MULAKAAT NA HO PAAI TO KOI GUM NAHI
TUMHARI EK YAAD MULAKAAT SE KAM NAHI
Kab unki palko ko humara izhaar hoga…
Dil ke kisi kone mein humare liye pyar hoga…
Guzar rahi hai raat unki yaad mein…
Kabhi unko humara bhi intenzaar hoga
Itni berukhi to dushman se hai hoti,
Khata ki saza bekasoor ko nahi hoti.
Iss khamoshi ki koi wajah to hogi,
Humari jagah(dil se) khali to na ki hogi.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----- NEW ------------ --------- --
.1pal ka ehsaas bankar aate ho tum,
dusre hi pal khusbhu ki tarah ud jate ho tum,
jante ho DAR lagta hai TANHIYO se HUME....
Fir bhi "TANHA" hume chod jate ho tum
Ho sakta hai humne anjaane mein aapko kabhi rula diya,
aapne duniya k kehne pe hume bhula dia,
hum to vaise bhi akele the,
kya hua agar aapne ehsaas dila diya.
Unka waada hai ki vo laut ayenge,
issi umeed par hum jiye jayenge,
yeh intezaar bhi unhi ki tarah pyaara hai,
kar rahe the, kar rahe hai or kiye jayenge
Khamosh palako se beh kar jab aansu ate hai,
aap kya jane kitne aap yad ate hai,
aaj bhi us mod pe khade hain,
jaha aapne kaha tha thahero hum abhi aate hai
Yahi to khubsurat dosti ka nata hai
jo bina kisi shart ke nibaya jata hai,
rahe duriyan darmiya to parwah nahi,
dost to har pal dil mein basaya jata hai.
Hum tere sath chalenge tu chale na chale,
tera har dard sahenge tu kahe ya na kahe,
hum chahte hai ki tum sada khush raho ,
hum chahe rahe ya na rahe..

Khushi ko dhudne se gam milta hai,
ye gam zindagi mein hardam milta hai,
jo dil ke sare dard baant le,
aisa dost zindagi mein kam milta hai......... .!
Dekh ke Humein woh sir jhukate hai
Bula ke Mehfil mein Nazrein churate hai.
Nafrat hai Humse toh bhi koi baat nahi
Par Gairon se Mil ke Dil kyun jalate hai.
bagaer jaane pahchane ikraar na kijiye
muskra kar dilon ko bekraar na kijiye
phool bhi de jaate hain zakhm ghahrekabhi kabhi
har phool par aap yun etbaar na kijiye
vo mile humko kahaani bankar
dil main bas gae pyar ki nisaani bankar
hum jinhe jagha dete hain aankho ke aandar
wo aksar nikal jaate hain paani ban kar
Humne Aapke liye Khusiyon ko pukara hai,
Sada Muskurao Aap, Aapka har Gham hamara hai,
Phool Khilte Rahen Jivan me Aapke,
Kaanton ke Liye toh Daman Hamara hai
Kisi ke Dil me Basna bura toh Nahi,
Kisi ko Dil me Basana koi Khafa toh Nahi,
Gunah ho Yeh Zamane ki Nazar me Toh kya hua,
Zamane Wale bhi toh Insaan hai, Khuda toh Nahi
Pathar ki puja kar baithe hum nadan the,
uski adat,uski fitrat se anjaan the,
waqt ne hamko khilona bana diya yaro,
warna ham bhi kisi ki jaan the.....
Khamosh raat ki Pehlu me Sitare na Hote,
in Rukhi Aankho me Rangin Nazare na Hote,
Hum bhi na Karte Parwah Aapki,
agar Aap Itne Pyare Na Hote
woh hume bulne ki baat karte hai
zara unse pucho who hume kab yaad karte hai
Jo karte the kabhi humse bahat mohabbat
Aaj akele rehne ki baat karte hai
Dil chahe dekhna unhe to batao aankho ka kya kasoor.
Har pal mEhsoos ho jo unki khushbu to sanson ka kya kasoor.
Waise to har khwab pooch ke nahi aate
magar har roz unka khwab aaye to raton ka kya kashoor
Aap rutha na karo humse,
mere dil ki dhadkan bhad jaati hain,
dil to aapke naam kar hi chuke hai,
jaan baaki hain woh bhi nikal jati hai

Is behte dard ko mat roko,
Yeh to saza hai kisi ke intezar ki...
Log inhe aansu kahe ya diwangi,'
Par yeh to nishani hai kisi ke pyar ki...
Dekha nahin hain koi tujhsa...,
Dekhne tujhe jannat se bhi laut aayenge...;
Jab tak deedar na ho tera...,
Hum marr ke bhi chain na paayenge
dekho awaj dekar paas hume paoge,
aoge tanha par tanha na jaoge,
dur rehkar bhi tum he pe najar hai meri,
haathon se tham lenge jabbhi thokar khaoge
Ek roz bhari duniya se chala jaoonga
guzre huey waqt ki tarha wapas na aaoonga
tujhse jo pyar mila hai, us pyar ki kasam
tujhe zindagi bhar kabhi na bhulaaonga
Mili hai bahut saza unse dil lagane ki,
Nazar lag gayi mere pyar ko jamane ki,
Mar kar bhi kabr se nikle rahe dono haath
Kyonki aarzo reh gayi unhe gale lagane ki
Kuch rishte anjane mein ho jate hai,
pehle dil phir zindagi se jud jate hain,
kehte hai uss daur ko dosti,
jisme dil se dil na jaane kab mil jate hai
Yaad aaye to aankhen band na karna,
hum chale bhi jaaye to gum na karna.
Yeh zaruri nahi ki har rishte ka koi naam ho,
per dosti ka ehsaas kabhi dil se kam na karna.

[sanjaykumarkedari]

1)apni vo mulakaat kuch adhoori si lagi
paas hoke bhi doori si lagi
hothon pe hansi aankho pe mazboori si lagi
zindgi main pahli baar kisi ki dosti itni zaroori si lagi


2) ye khuda hamari tarha unko tanhaai na de
hum jee lenge tanha magar unko judaai na de
hamari nigaahon main basi rahe unki surat
unko bhale hi hum dikhai na den


3)aaj kah diya fir na kahna kabhi
meri nazron se door tum na rahna kabhi
khusi ban kar lafzon main aae ho tum
asq ban kar aankho se na bahna kabhi


4)shaam ki tanhaai main kho na jaana
baarish ki masti main doob na jaana
milegi zindgi main manjil tumhe
use pa kar hume bhool na jaana


5) na jaane kuon si baat aakhri ho
na jaane kuon si raat aakhri ho
karni hai to kar lo jee bhar kar baaten
na jaane kuon si mulakaat aakhri ho


6) tumhe apna raaz na bata paae to kya hoga
khusi ke waqt aansoo nikal aae to kya hoga
humne tumhe zindgi ka humsafar samjha
tum do kadam bhi saath na chal paae to kya hoga


7) teri yaadon ke sahaare duniya main rah lete hain
teri judaai ka gum chup chaap sah lete hain
samjhaya dil ko ye raaz chupana
par aansoo ban kar wo sab kah dete hain


8) pyaasi nighahon ne harpal unka didaar maanga
jayse amawas ne har raat chaand maanga
rooth gaya vo khuda bhi humse
jab humne har duwa main unka saath maanga

9) tum tamanna karo jin baharon ki
wo bahar aapke kadmo main ho
khuda aapko wo hakikat main de
jo socha aapne khowabon main ho


10) mujhe kisi ne bewafa ka naam diya
saathi ne jayse zahar ka jaam diya
jo kabhi kaha karte the,bhula mat dena
unhone hi bhul jaane ka paigaam de diya

11) sitam ko humne berukhi samjha
pyar ko humne bandgi samjha
tum cahe hume jo bhi samjho
par humne to tumhe apni zindgi samjha

12) teri tanhaai ke tasabbur main
teri tasveer ubhar aati hai
tu nahi hai to teri yaad sahi
zindgi kuch to sawar jaati hai

13) dilon main aarzoo ke diye jalte rahenge
aankho se aansoo nikalte rahenge
tum sama ban kar dil main roshni kar do
hum mom ban kar yun hi pighate rahenge

15) teri judaai bhi hume pyar karti hai
teri yaad bahot bekraar karti hai
vo din jo tere saath guzre
talaas unko nazar baar baar karti hai

16) jeeyo itna ki marna muskil ho jaae
hanso itna ki rona muskil ho jae
kisi ko chahna acchi baat hai
magar na caho itna ki bhulana muskil ho jae

17)har baar dil se ye paigaam aae
jubaan kholoon to tera hi naam aae
tum hi kkyon bhae is dil ko..kya maloom
jab ki nazron ke aage haseen tamaam aae

18)wo roothte rahe aur hum manate rahe
unki raahon main palke bichate rahe
unhone kabhi palat kar bhi na dekha
aur hum aankh jhapkaane se bhi katraate rahe

19) bahot chaha magar unhe bhula na sake
khyaalon main kisi aur ko la na sake
kisi ko dekh kar aansoo to poch liya
par kisi ko dekh kar muskra na sake

20)


New

ye khuda ye duwa meri khali na jaae
mere mahboob ki palkon main paani na aae
aansoo nikle to khusi ke nikle
gum ke aansoo mere hisse main aa jaen
CHOR DIYA HAMARA SAATH TO KOI GUM NAHI
BHOOL JAOGE AAP HUME,BHOOLNE WALE HUM NAHI
TUMSE MULAKAAT NA HO PAAI TO KOI GUM NAHI
TUMHARI EK YAAD MULAKAAT SE KAM NAHI
Kab unki palko ko humara izhaar hoga…
Dil ke kisi kone mein humare liye pyar hoga…
Guzar rahi hai raat unki yaad mein…
Kabhi unko humara bhi intenzaar hoga
Itni berukhi to dushman se hai hoti,
Khata ki saza bekasoor ko nahi hoti.
Iss khamoshi ki koi wajah to hogi,
Humari jagah(dil se) khali to na ki hogi.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----- NEW ------------ --------- --
.1pal ka ehsaas bankar aate ho tum,
dusre hi pal khusbhu ki tarah ud jate ho tum,
jante ho DAR lagta hai TANHIYO se HUME....
Fir bhi "TANHA" hume chod jate ho tum
Ho sakta hai humne anjaane mein aapko kabhi rula diya,
aapne duniya k kehne pe hume bhula dia,
hum to vaise bhi akele the,
kya hua agar aapne ehsaas dila diya.
Unka waada hai ki vo laut ayenge,
issi umeed par hum jiye jayenge,
yeh intezaar bhi unhi ki tarah pyaara hai,
kar rahe the, kar rahe hai or kiye jayenge
Khamosh palako se beh kar jab aansu ate hai,
aap kya jane kitne aap yad ate hai,
aaj bhi us mod pe khade hain,
jaha aapne kaha tha thahero hum abhi aate hai
Yahi to khubsurat dosti ka nata hai
jo bina kisi shart ke nibaya jata hai,
rahe duriyan darmiya to parwah nahi,
dost to har pal dil mein basaya jata hai.
Hum tere sath chalenge tu chale na chale,
tera har dard sahenge tu kahe ya na kahe,
hum chahte hai ki tum sada khush raho ,
hum chahe rahe ya na rahe..

Khushi ko dhudne se gam milta hai,
ye gam zindagi mein hardam milta hai,
jo dil ke sare dard baant le,
aisa dost zindagi mein kam milta hai......... .!
Dekh ke Humein woh sir jhukate hai
Bula ke Mehfil mein Nazrein churate hai.
Nafrat hai Humse toh bhi koi baat nahi
Par Gairon se Mil ke Dil kyun jalate hai.
bagaer jaane pahchane ikraar na kijiye
muskra kar dilon ko bekraar na kijiye
phool bhi de jaate hain zakhm ghahrekabhi kabhi
har phool par aap yun etbaar na kijiye
vo mile humko kahaani bankar
dil main bas gae pyar ki nisaani bankar
hum jinhe jagha dete hain aankho ke aandar
wo aksar nikal jaate hain paani ban kar
Humne Aapke liye Khusiyon ko pukara hai,
Sada Muskurao Aap, Aapka har Gham hamara hai,
Phool Khilte Rahen Jivan me Aapke,
Kaanton ke Liye toh Daman Hamara hai
Kisi ke Dil me Basna bura toh Nahi,
Kisi ko Dil me Basana koi Khafa toh Nahi,
Gunah ho Yeh Zamane ki Nazar me Toh kya hua,
Zamane Wale bhi toh Insaan hai, Khuda toh Nahi
Pathar ki puja kar baithe hum nadan the,
uski adat,uski fitrat se anjaan the,
waqt ne hamko khilona bana diya yaro,
warna ham bhi kisi ki jaan the.....
Khamosh raat ki Pehlu me Sitare na Hote,
in Rukhi Aankho me Rangin Nazare na Hote,
Hum bhi na Karte Parwah Aapki,
agar Aap Itne Pyare Na Hote
woh hume bulne ki baat karte hai
zara unse pucho who hume kab yaad karte hai
Jo karte the kabhi humse bahat mohabbat
Aaj akele rehne ki baat karte hai
Dil chahe dekhna unhe to batao aankho ka kya kasoor.
Har pal mEhsoos ho jo unki khushbu to sanson ka kya kasoor.
Waise to har khwab pooch ke nahi aate
magar har roz unka khwab aaye to raton ka kya kashoor
Aap rutha na karo humse,
mere dil ki dhadkan bhad jaati hain,
dil to aapke naam kar hi chuke hai,
jaan baaki hain woh bhi nikal jati hai

Is behte dard ko mat roko,
Yeh to saza hai kisi ke intezar ki...
Log inhe aansu kahe ya diwangi,'
Par yeh to nishani hai kisi ke pyar ki...
Dekha nahin hain koi tujhsa...,
Dekhne tujhe jannat se bhi laut aayenge...;
Jab tak deedar na ho tera...,
Hum marr ke bhi chain na paayenge
dekho awaj dekar paas hume paoge,
aoge tanha par tanha na jaoge,
dur rehkar bhi tum he pe najar hai meri,
haathon se tham lenge jabbhi thokar khaoge
Ek roz bhari duniya se chala jaoonga
guzre huey waqt ki tarha wapas na aaoonga
tujhse jo pyar mila hai, us pyar ki kasam
tujhe zindagi bhar kabhi na bhulaaonga
Mili hai bahut saza unse dil lagane ki,
Nazar lag gayi mere pyar ko jamane ki,
Mar kar bhi kabr se nikle rahe dono haath
Kyonki aarzo reh gayi unhe gale lagane ki
Kuch rishte anjane mein ho jate hai,
pehle dil phir zindagi se jud jate hain,
kehte hai uss daur ko dosti,
jisme dil se dil na jaane kab mil jate hai
Yaad aaye to aankhen band na karna,
hum chale bhi jaaye to gum na karna.
Yeh zaruri nahi ki har rishte ka koi naam ho,
per dosti ka ehsaas kabhi dil se kam na karna.



Kya baat hai!! ....you are Great! Thanks a lot.

[luckysd]

hey guru,lucky both...osssom yaar
hey tukz thanx a lot

[guru_sal]

Kya baat hai!! ....you are Great! Thanks a lot.
hey thankz a lot .

[guru_sal]

shayari



koi shikwa na karenge..na azmaanyege
tum jahaan peir rakhoge
hum apna dil bichaayenge
hum teri wafaa ki duniyaa mein
pyar hi pyar lutanyege... ...



aap se hi hai gila..
aap se hi pyaar..
aap ka tha mujhe har pal intezaar
bardasht nahi hota..
ab mujhe se mere yaar..
aapki khata ..bewafai..
maaf karta hai dil jaane kyun.....



aapse sanam..inteha hi,
pyaar karta hai dil jaane kyun
aapki aarzoo dil ko baar baar
lekin hai shikayete hai mujhko be-shumaar
bardasht nahi hota ab mujhse mere yaar
aapki khata ..bewafai..
maaf karta hai dil jaane kyun...



hum ye nahi kehte..dil ke bure ho tum
gustaankhiyaan lekin karte rehte ho tum
aapki sab gustankhiyaan maaf karta hai dil jaane kyun.....





do kadam do kadam chale hum
khaamoshiyon ka ye kissa
khatam kare hum..
aapki sabhi khamoshiyaan maaf karta hai dil jaane kyun....

[guru_sal]

GHAZALS

us sunder see muskan k peechey


Us sunder see muskan k peechey
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~
Kuch tootey tootey sapnay they
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Kuch roothey roothey apney they
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~
Kuch khawab they jo k toot chukey they
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~
Kuch man they jo k rooth chukey they
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
Us sunder see muskan k peechey
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~
Raz jo dil mein gahra tha
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~
Us pay hansee ka pahra tha
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
Qahqahoon k kuch qufal bhee they
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~
Adhey jin mein toot chukey they
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Man they jo k rooth chukey they
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Us sunder see muskan k peechey
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~
Sahtey sahtey beh jatein thein
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Do ankhein sab kuch keh jatee thein
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
Yadoon kee pur nam zameen per
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~
Gulab they jo k sookh chukey they
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~
Man they jo k rooth chukey they
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~
Us sunder see muskan k peechey
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
Apna koi ameen nahin tha
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
Ghairoon pay bhee yaqeen nahin tha
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
Hud gharzee ka woh gila kia kertee
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
Sath they jo k loot chukey they
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Man they jo k rooth chukey they
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~
Us sunder see muskan k peechey
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~
Woh dasht kee gahree daldal thee
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
Aur dunoiya shoh-o- chanchal thee
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
Rait kee moj mein dhanstey dhanstey
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
Hath they jo k chhot chukey they
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~
Man they jo k rooth chukey they
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~
Us sunder see muskan k peechey
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~






Dil Bhi Wahin Hei Aur Tamanna Bhi Wahin Hei
Kuch Nahi Badla Jaana Sab Kuch Wahin Hei



Aankhon Ne Chuma Hei jisse Har Baar Pyar Se
Ae Jaan-e-Jaan Wo Sirf Teri jabeen Hei



Tu Hei To Hei Mere Liye Sari Qayinaat
Gar Tu Nahi ToMere Liye Kuch Bhi Nahi Hei



Khushboo Bhi Hei, Gul Bhi Hei Dil Mein Bahaar Bhi
Sab Kuch Hei Mere Saath Bass Ik Teri Kami Hei



Tere To Wairaani Hui Khatam Kab Se *******
Jaane Kyun Ab Bhi Tere Aankhon Mein Nami Hei










Yaad

Aghar kabhi yaad meri Aay to Chndni rato ki Narram Dalgeer roshni may
kesi tary ko dekleena aghar wo kesi nakhly fallak say urkar
tumhary daman may aaghiry tu ya jaan leena woo isteAar tha
mery dil ka aghat na aay...maghar ya mumkin hi kis tarah hay
kah tum par nighah dalo aur iski deware jaan na thotay
woo apno hasste na bool jaay...aghar kabhi meri yaad Aay
ghrez karte hawaoo ki lihroo par haath rakna main khushbonuo
muhay millonga aghar hawao may Uwss katroo may aor khushbonuo may
na paao muj ko to apni qadmoo may deekleena main khaak hote howe
mussafatto may tumhay millonga kahin ya rooshan charragh to jaan leena
kah har pattangay kay saath bikkar chukka hon tu apnay haato say
un pattangay kay rakh darya may daal dena may khaak bankar sammandaro
may saffar karonga kesi na deknay wali jazzery par rukk kay aap ko
sadday donga sammandar kay saeer par nikloge tu is jazeery par bhi uttar na
Aghar kabhi meri yad aaye ************ ********* *********
Hazzaro phal tumhary bin....na pocho kaesay katty hai manay...
kabhi yadday sattate hai kabhi musam rulathy hai ....
hammara maan rakleena humay dil may bassa leena
buhat totay howy dil say buhat totta nahi kartay
muhhbat tu Ebbadat hai zamanay say chupaty hai
issay ruswa nahi kartay sannam issa nahi karta

[guru_sal]

JOKES

1.Sardarji opens his lunch box in the middle of the road... why?
Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the Office.
============ ========= =======
2. A news reporter gets news that 100 sardars are killed in a train accident at Amritsar station. Only one sardar left alive.The correspondent goes to him and asks, Sardarji how did it happen?

Sardar: oh ji pucho mat.. sab kuch sahi tha sab log platform par khade gaadi ki wait kar rahe they. Achanak announcement hui ki shatabdee express 2 no. platform par aa rahi hai. Jaise hi sab ne suna ki gaddi PLATFORM PAR aa rahi hai, sab log apni jaan bachane ke liye patri par kood gaye. Aur tabhi gaddi patri par aa gayi. Reporter: Thank god. Aap ne samajhdari dikhayee. Aap patri par nahin koode.

Sardar: Oye nahin ji main to suicide karne ki iye patri par hi leta tha. Jaise hi announcement hui main to platform par chad gaya.

============ ========= =======


3.A Sardarni had 8 sons all named Karan. On asking how she managed to call one in particular.
She replied: That's easy. I call them by their surname !

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

4. Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it.

Wife observes the whole episode.
Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife askes Why are you doing this?
Sardar replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly.

============ ========= =======

5.What is the full form of singh: S-sardar I-insaan N-nahi G-GOD H-hai.

============ ========= =======

6.Angry Sardar-Oye mein is duniya ko mita dunga - mita dunga mita dunga.
Another sardar standing besides said mein tujhe rubber nahi dunga.

============ ========= =======

7.Santa singh: Can u spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Banta singh: Post office.

============ ========= =======



8.Sardar on cycle hit lady accidently, lady says," break nahi mar sakta tha kya?
Sardar replies "break ka kya hai, poori cycle to mar di..."

============ ========= =======

9.Sardarji zebra crossing ke black & white patte par bar bar
idhar-udhar chalte the, woh kya soch rahe
honge....think. ........
"SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI"

============ ========= =======



10.A friend asks sardar how was ur exam?
Sardar: It was ok but i couldnt answer past tense of THINK.
I thought, thought & finally i wrote 'THUNK'


============ ========= =======

11.Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt.

============ ========= =======

[guru_sal]

Maine Poocha


Mein Ne Us Ko Salam Likh Bheja,
Haal-e-Dil Tamaam Likh Bheja..

Maine Poocha Tere Honth Kaise Hain,
Us Ne Ik Lafz Jaam Likh Bhejja.. **

Maine Poocha Tere Baal Kaise Hain,
Us Ne Qudrat Ka Inaam Likh Bheja..


Maine Poocha Kab Ho Gi Mulaqaat,
Us Ne Qayamat Ki Sham Likh Bheja..

Maine Poocha Itna Tadpaati Kyon Ho,
Us Ne Jawani Ka Intiqaam Likh Bheja..

Maine Poocha Tere Khad-o-Khaal Kaisey Hain,
Us Ne Husn Tamaam Likh Bheja..

Maine Poocha Tujhey nafrat Kiss Se Hai,
Kambakhat Us Ne MERA Hi Naam Likh Bheja..

[evilseye]

Good job guru!
Luv
Sur

[guru_sal]

Good job guru!
Luv
Sur
thankz a lot

[guru_sal]

TUMHARI EK MUSKURAHAT NE HAMARE HOSH UDA DIYA
TUMHARI EK MUSKURAHAT NE HAMARE HOSH UDA DIYA
HUM HOSH MEIN AANE HI WALE THE KI AAP PHIR MUSKURA DIYE.




------

NA MESSEGE
NA PHONE
NA PICTURE
NA TONE AUR BANE FIRTE HO DON,
JAB NUMBER DIYA THA TO KAHTE THE ROZ KARENGE PHONE
AB KEHTE HO HUM AAPKE HAI KAUN........




---------

LOVE CAN MAKE U HAPPY BUT OFTEN IT HURTS,
BUT LOVE IS ONLY SPECIAL WEN U GIVE IT TO SOMEONE WHO IS REALLY WORTH IT........ SO TAKE UR TIME N CHOOSE THE BEST......




-------

LOVE MEANS-

L - LAKE OF BEER
O - OCEAN OF WISKEY
V - VALLEY OF RUM
E - END OF STOCK (BAR CLOSED)

LOVE IS INJURIOUS TO HEALTH SO . DON'T LOVE, JUST FLIRT.




--------

LADKI NE JEANS UTARI...... AUR BOYFRIEND SE KAHA ....
MUJHE LADKI HONE KA AHSAAS KARAO,
BOYFRIEND NE BHI JEANS UTARI AUR BOLA, JAO DONO JEANS DHO KAR LAO. !! c@@l.




--------

HOW TO IMPRESS A GIRL :-

- COMPLIEMENT HER
- RESPECT HER
- HONOR HER
- CUDDLE HER
- CARESS HER
- LOVE HER
- COMFORT HER
- PROTECT HER
- HOLD HER
- SPEND MONEY ON HER
- WINE N DINE HER
- BUY THINK FOR HER
- LISTEN TO HER
- CARE FOR HER
- STAND BY HER
- SUPPORT HER
- GO TO END OF EARTH FOR HER

- HOW TO IMPRESS A BOY

- JUST SMILE ONCE AND HE IS YOURS.....




--------

R- IS FOR RED
RED - IS FOR BLOOD
BLOOD - IS FOR HEART
HEART - HEART IS FOR LOVE
LOVE - IS FOR U
U - IS FOR ME
ME - IS FOR U
I MISS U.

[guru_sal]

Mrs. Kartar had bought a beautiful sweater for her husband.

She sent it to her husband by parcel post along with a note.

The note said :"The buttons of the sweater are removed since they where too heavy and added to the postage.

You will find them in the right hand pocket of the sweater."

[guru_sal]

Dil k dard ko zuba per laate nahi, Hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi, Zakham chahe kitna hi gahra kyo na ho, hmm DETTOL k siva kuch laagate nahi!

A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chiken, Waiter comes with the order, Surdar:Murgi di taang kithe hai? Waiter:Woh langra tha. Surdar: Dil? Waiter:Dil murgi le gayee. Surdar: Dimaag? Waiter: Murga SARDAR tha!!!

Boss: 2 his P.A.: Itne khilari kyun football ko laat maar rahe hai? P.A.: Goal kar ne k liye. Boss: pagal, Ball to pahle se hi gol hai aur kitna gol karenge.!

Taza hawa ka jhoka aaya.. Khushbu teri sath laya...Phir mere dil me khayal aaya...Ke lagta hay ki...Aaj bhi tu.. Nahi "NAHAYA"

gali main hai paan ki dukan, Devdas ne dekhi Paro Ki muskan, Devdas ne khilaya paro ko paan, Khake paan Paro boli"Shukriya Bhai Jan"

Jis tarha heere ko heera katta hai... Sone ko sona katta hai...Lohe ko loha katta hai.. Theek usi tarha dekh lena ek din.. Tumhe kutta katega...


Kabhi hosla bhi azmaa lena chahiye, Buray waqt main muskura lena chahiye, Jab saat din main bhi kharish na mite, to 8ve din naha lana chahiye

Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya -Kay Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya

Is Dil mein aansuyo ke mele hain Tum bin hum bohat akele hain
Sab kuch chor kar tumeh e-mail karte hain Dekho hum kitne vele hain

Promise me we are true friends, I am lamp you are light, I am Coke you are Sprite, I am Sawan you are badal, I am Normal you are Pagal

[guru_sal]

Real Woman

On a trans-atlantic flight, a plane was passing through a horrible storm. The turbulence is severe, and unfortunately things go from bad to worse when one of the wings were struck by lightning. One woman in particular friggen loses it.

Screaming, she stands up at the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she blares. "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has really ever made me feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"

For a moment, there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own danger and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman at the front of the plane.

Then, a man stands up in the back of the plane. "I can make you feel like a real woman," he shouts. He's gorgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing blond hair and jet blue eyes, and he begins walking slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. Everyone stares in silence.

The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the stranger approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers:

IRON THIS

[guru_sal]

Wife: Kya kar rahe ho?

Husband: Makhiyan maar raha hoon.

Wife: Kitni maari?

Husband: 3 male and 2 female.

Wife: Kaise malum?

Husband: Kyonki 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi aur 2 phone se.

[guru_sal]

Banta:Oye Santa tune movie ke do ticket kyon kharide hain ???

Santa: Oye! Ek kho gaya to doosra kam ayega..

Banta: Lekin dono kho gaye to ?

Santa:Oye koi gal nahi ..pass kis din kam ayega !!!!

[guru_sal]

JOKE TIME AGAIN

The Catholic Church's air conditioning broke down, so they
had to hire a man to crawl around in the ducts and figure
out what was wrong.

As the man peeked down through one of the vents in the
sanctuary, he saw little old Mrs. Murphy kneeling by the
altar, apparently saying her rosary. Since the man was a
fundamental Baptist, he thought it'd be funny to try and
mess with the lady's mind.

In his best authoritative voice, he said, "This is Jesus.
Your prayers will be answered."

The little old lady didn't even blink, just kept on saying
her prayers. The man decided maybe she didn't hear him, and
tried again. "This is Jesus, the Son of God! Your prayers
will be answered!"

Again, she didn't react at all. Mustering up a big breath
of air, the man decided to try again. "THIS IS JESUS
CHRIST, THE SON OF GOD! YOUR PRAYERS WILL BE ANSWERED!"

The lady looks up and says, "SHUT UP! I'M TALKING TO YOUR
MOTHER!"




Two blondes were driving through Louisiana. As they were
approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the
pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until
they stopped at a fast-food restaurant for lunch.

As they stood at the counter, one blonde asked the manager,
"Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us?
Would you please pronounce where we are . very slowly?"

The manager leaned over the counter and said:
"Burrrrrrr-gerrrrrr Kiiiiiing."





A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The
girl approaches the boy and says, "Hey Tommy, want to play
house?"

He says, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"

The girl replies, "I want you to communicate your feelings."

"Communicate my feelings?" said a bewildered Tommy. "I have no
idea what that means."

The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the
husband then."






Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible. "

Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went
wrong, they said I was responsible. "






A blonde goes into aDunkin Donuts and notices there's a "peel and win" sticker on her coffee cup.

So she peels it off and starts screaming, "I've won a motorhome!

I've won a motorhome!"

The waitress says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize is a free Lunch."

But the blonde keeps on screaming, "I've won a motorhome! I've won a motorhome!"

Finally, the manager comes over and says, "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken. You couldn't have possibly won a motorhome because we didn't have that as a prize."

The blonde says, "No, it's not a mistake. I've won a motorhome!"

And she hands the ticket to the manager and HE reads...

"W I N A B A G E L"





A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wife's birthday.

His wife told him "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for
me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat".

The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened
it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday.





"Arizona Vacation"


On doctor's orders, Johnny had moved to Arizona. Two weeks later, he was dead. His body was shipped back home, where the undertaker prepared it for the services.
Johnny's brother came in to make sure everything was taken care of. "Would you like to see the body?" the undertaker asked.

"I might as well take a look at it before the others get here." The undertaker led him into the next room and opened the top half of the casket. He stood back and proudly displayed his work.

"He looks good," the brother said. "Those two weeks in Arizona were just the thing for him."






"Airline Ticket"


As an airline reservation agent, I took a call from a
man who wanted to book a flight for two but wasn't
happy with the price of $59 per ticket.

"I want the $49 fare I saw advertised," he insisted,
saying he would accept a flight at any time. I managed
to find two seats on a 6 a.m. flight. "I'll take it,"
he said, then worried his wife might not like the
early hour.

I warned there was a fee of $25 per person if he
changed the reservation.

"Oh, that's no problem," he said dismissively. "What's
fifty bucks?"







"Twelve of the Most Terrifying Things to Hear"


1. The dentist says: "This won't hurt a bit."
2. The IRS announces: "We are simplifying the tax
forms."
3. Your lawyer says: "This is an air-tight case-- you
can't lose."
4. Your stock broker says: "This little drop in the
market is just a minor correction."
5. Your physician says: "You're in great shape--
you'll live to be 100!"
6. Your business partner says: "Nothing can possibly
go wrong."
7. Your best friend says: "Trust me--
I'll never tell a soul."
8. The directions on a do-it-yourself kit say:
"Even a child can do it."
9. Your colleagues say: "We're behind you 100%--
we'll back you up."
10. Someone giving you directions says:
"You can't miss it."
11. The airline pilot announces: "Just a bit of
turbulence folks-- nothing to worry about."
12. A voice on the telephone says: "Congratulations!
You're an instant winner!"






"Fishing on Sunday"


A village pastor, known for his weakness for trout, preached
against fishing on Sunday.

The next day, one of his members presented him with a fine
string of fish and said, hesitatingly, "I guess I ought to tell
you, parson, that those trout were caught on Sunday."

The minister hesitated, gazed appreciatively at the speckled
trout, and then said piously as he reached for his gift, "The
fish aren't to blame for that."






"Cross-eyed Bear"


A little boy came home with his parents from church one Sunday.
He seemed a little depressed, so his mother asked him if something
happened in Sunday School class that he would like to talk about.

He told his mother, "Well, we were singing songs and the teacher
made us sing about a poor bear named Gladly that needed glasses and I
can't stop thinking about him. She said he was cross-eyed and I feel
bad for him.

The mother couldn't understand why the teacher would teach such
a song in Sunday school, so she decided to call her. To the woman's
amazement, the teacher said she only taught hymns that morning.

Then the teacher began laughing out loud and said to the mother,
"I know what Jeffrey's talking about! We learned the hymn 'Gladly The Cross I'd Bear!'"






"Benefits of Tithing"


Two men off for a sailing trip around the world are shipwrecked. The
minute they got on to the island one of them started screaming and
yelling, "We're going to die! We're going to die! There's no food! No
water! We're going to die!"

The second man comfortably propped himself up against a palm tree and
acted so calmly it drove the first man crazy. "Don't you understand?! ?
We're going to die!!"

The second man replied, "You don't understand, I make $100,000 a week."

The first man looked at him quite dumbfounded and asked, "What
difference does that make?!? We're on an island with no food and no
water! We're going to DIE!!!"

The second man answered with a confident smile, "No, you just don't get
it. I make $100,000 a week and I tithe ten percent on that $100,000 a
week. Our church is getting ready to start a building program. My
pastor and the finance committee will find me"

[guru_sal]

Paranoid Sardarji


The Sardarji doctor was so afraid of bacteria, that he cooked his ice-cubes before he put them in his drink.

Sardarji at a nightclub

A Sardarji was in a nightclub in New York, dancing with a beautiful woman.
He whispered into her ear, "I love you."
She smiled and whispered back,"I love you too". then he whispered, "I love you three."

The Race

A sardar sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are doing The bystander A Marathon race is going on.
Sardar : What do they get from that?
Bystander : The winner will get a prize
Sardar : Then why are the others running?!

Santa and Banta boasting of their parents achievements

Santa : 'Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?'
Banta : 'Yes, I have'
Santa : 'Well, my father dug it.'
Banta : 'That's nothing, have you ever heard of Dead sea?'
Santa : 'Yes, I have.'
Banta : 'Well, my father killed it.'

Sardarji proposes to a woman.

She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots.
He sets off to Africa and disappears.
Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one.
He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *AGAIN* barefeet!"

Mrs. Banta Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes."What is the matter today? asked her husband. "Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone."
"I got a wrong number," replied Mrs. Banta Singh.

A Sardarji came to a newspaper office to place an advertisement announcing his father's death. "The rate is Rs. 360 per single col. cm," the clerk told him.
"Main to lut jaoonga - I 'll be ruined," exclaimed the Sardarji. "My father was 182 cms tall."

Two Sardarjis were in conversation on the beach :
Sardarji 1 :Praaji , Ise 'beach' kyo kaheete hai ?
Sardarji 2 : Tumhe nahe pata ?
Sardarji 1 : Nahe pata.
Sardarji 2 : Woh to Aasmaan aur Zameen ke beech mein hai esliye eesai beach kahete hai .

Egyptian museum


Santa and Banta were looking at mummy in an Egyptian museum
Santa: Bechara! pattiyan hi pattiyan lagi hain...
Kitne chotein lagi hain isko..
Zaroor truck accident mein mara hoga...
Banta: haan, truck ka number bhi likha hai
:- A.D. 1460


Ek truck doosre truck ko kheench raha tha.
Dekh kar sardarji haskar lotpot hoke gir pade aur bole: Ek rassi ka tukda
uthane ke liye 2-2 truck


Engagement ring


The Sardarni asked her lover, Santa Singh
Santa Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?
Sure replied Santa What's your phone number?



Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor.

The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called back."


What wil Banta do if he sees a ‘Don’t walk’ sign? He will run.


Banta was filling a form and the lady asked what his sex was.
Banta: “Twice a week.”
Lady: “Sir, I mean male or female.”
Banta: “That does not matter.”


Banta filling birth form for his 4th child
Mom: Sikh. Dad: Sikh. Kid: Chinese.
Man: Why Chinese?
Banta: You see, every 4th kid born now is a Chinese.


Banta loves his wife


Banta always calls his wife my love, darling, sweetheart.
Santa: That’s nice. Endearments continue, eh?
Banta: Honestly, I have forgotten her name.


Banta to a friend: Mother Nature is great! A million years ago she didn’t know we were going to wear spectacles yet look at the way she placed our ears.


Banta put a signboard on his shop:
Letters typed in 3 languages.
Santa displayed one saying: Photostat copies prepared in all languages

[guru_sal]

aankhon say behtay askq nahi
khoon-e-jigar rawani hai
kuch teri bewafaii ki
kuch wafa ki meri kahani hai

mujhko udaas dekh ker..
zamany nay yeh sawal kiya
woh kaun hai zalim..
jisnay tera yeh haal kiya
maine kaha woh mohabbat hai..
jo muri unkay saath hai
woh nikli bewafa zalim..
bus itni si baat hai
machli paani main doob gaye
hum ishq main doob gaye
usay to zindagi mili
hum jeena hi bhool gaye

[divyaashimix]

aankhon say behtay askq nahi
khoon-e-jigar rawani hai
kuch teri bewafaii ki
kuch wafa ki meri kahani hai

mujhko udaas dekh ker..
zamany nay yeh sawal kiya
woh kaun hai zalim..
jisnay tera yeh haal kiya
maine kaha woh mohabbat hai..
jo muri unkay saath hai
woh nikli bewafa zalim..
bus itni si baat hai
machli paani main doob gaye
hum ishq main doob gaye
usay to zindagi mili
hum jeena hi bhool gaye
hey bhaggu!!!!!!
that was simply great yaarrr!!!:)

[guru_sal]

hey bhaggu!!!!!!
that was simply great yaarrr!!!:)
hey divu thankz a lot

[animateash]

dam coo jokes alll of u

[tukz]

dman kul jokes guru

[guru_sal]

dam coo jokes alll of u
thankz a lot

[guru_sal]

dman kul jokes guru
hey tukz thankz

[guru_sal]

Insulting Greats



"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."


"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."


"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with
great pleasure."


"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to
the dictionary."


"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big
words?"


"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time
reading it."


"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I
know."


"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."


"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it."


"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."


"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring
a friend.... if you have one."


"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there
is one."


"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."


"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."


"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing
trivial."


"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."


"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."


"He had delusions of adequacy."


"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."


"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."


"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of
human knowledge."

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by
diligent hard work, he overcame them."


"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."


"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."


"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on
it?"


"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."


"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."


"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts.. . for support
rather than illumination. "


"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."

[guru_sal]

missing member joke

Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in.

They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"

The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick.

[guru_sal]

Aasuon Ko Bahot Samjhaya Ke Tanhaiyon Mein Aaya Karo
Mehfil Mein Humara Mazak Mat Udaya Karo...

Per Aansoo Tadap Kar Bole, Itne Logo Mein Bhi Apko Tanha
Paate Hein, Isiliye Tumhara Saath Dane Chale aate Hein...!!!

[guru_sal]

How To Handle A 'Difficult' Friend

"Some Useful Tactics To Help You To Deal With Those Who Claim To Be Your 'Friends'.



1.Tips To Deal With Friends Who Betray You:

Friendship is a relationship that comes to your rescue when all else fails. Or at least that is what it is supposed to be. Having a close friend can enrich your life in many ways and lead to a lot of happiness. A good friend is there when you need him or her, they look out for you and they understand when you make a mistake and don't judge you for it. All this combined together is the reason why people become close and form precious bonds.
However, on the down side, if things go terribly wrong with a friend, there can be tremendous heart ache and sadness. If your friend betrays you, it can be a very disheartening situation to be in.

So, the idea is to be prepared in case such a thing is to happen. Read on to know the different types of friends that you should avoid and how to deal with them.



2.Can't Keep Their Word:

This kind of a person can never be relied on at any time. If your friend keeps promising you things, for example, meeting you for a movie or making plans to have dinner but never keeps their word, and stands you up, it is a sign that this person cannot be trusted to be there when you need him or her. If they can't keep their promise of showing up for a movie, it is unlikely you can rely on their support for more serious emotional issues.



3.Tips To Fix Up Friends Who Can't Keep Their Words:

If you know such a person and the fact that they can't keep their word is a pattern, take a stand and voice your disapproval of their behaviour. If you're spending time and energy in this friendship, so should your friend.



4.Betrayal:

This sort of person you should avoid at all costs. The betrayer will hurt you in the worst possible way, because with betrayal comes a complete lack of trust and if you can't trust someone, how can you possibly relate in terms of friendship. Suppose you have done something you don't want anyone to know about, and confide in your friend. Instead of respecting your privacy, he or she spreads the good word to everyone you know, it could cause you immense pain.



5.Tips To Fix Up The Betrayer Friends:

To know if someone can be trusted, test him or her with little secrets first, just to know if they can keep it to themselves. To ensure that the test is a success, tell him or her something only they would know. If it comes back to you then you know it had to be them and they cannot be trusted. If not, then you have found a good friend, so keep him or her.



6.Narcissus Complex:


This kind of person is not particularly harmful, but is so self absorbed that you might as well not be around and it would make no difference to him or her.



7.Tips to fix up friends who have narcissus complex:


If you do have a self-centered friend, have a talk with him or her and explain to them that they need to come out of their own little world and start paying attention to other people. It will, in fact, be good for them to indulge in things and people besides themselves.



8.Competition: amp; nbsp;
A little bit of competition is healthy and to be expected. But too much competition between friends starts to destroy the friendship. This is because when things get too competitive they can get very ugly.



9. Tips To Fix Up Overtly Competitive Friends:
Tell your friend that you are not in the friendship to see who is better, but rather because you want to be on the same level. If they understand then it's all good. If they don't, you're probably better off without them anyway.



10.Insulting Type:

Nothing you do, say, or wear is good enough for this overly critical friend. It's a hard trait to reverse, and your friend may even be unaware that he or she is so critical or that it annoys and upsets you so much.



11.Tips To Fix Up The Insulting Type Friends:

If you value this friend and want to try to maintain the friendship despite the criticisms, try sharing with him or her how their behaviour makes you feel. Try to give them a taste of their own medicine if you have to. Nobody likes to be insulted and you should not put up with such behaviour especially from someone who claim to be your friend.

[guru_sal]

clever sardarji
A sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.

The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?' 'Sand,' answered the Sardarji.

Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.'

Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the sardarji all night and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the sardaji, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the sardarji's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?' 'Sand,' says the Sardarji.

Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Sardar, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.

Finally, the Sardarji doesn't show up one day and the guard, Iqbal, meets him in a 'Dhaba' in Islamabad.

'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?'

The Sardaji, sips his Lassi and says, 'BIKES'

[animateash]

hey guru 2coooll i will post also but later on

[tukz]

ur mst welcum gur n agn aweosme ones

Just a joke :))

How the company views its employees. (HE vs SHE)
1. The family picture is on HIS desk.
Ah, a solid, responsible family man.

The family picture is on HER desk.
Umm, her family will come before her career.


2. HIS desk is cluttered.
He's obviously a hard worker and a busy man.

HER desk is cluttered.
She's obviously a disorganised scatterbrain


3. HE is talking with his co-workers.
He must be discussing the latest deal

SHE is talking with her co-workers.
She must be gossiping.


4. HE's not at his desk. He must be at a meeting.

SHE's not at her desk. She must be in the ladies' room.


5. HE's not in the office. He's meeting with customers.

SHE's not in the office. She must be out shopping.


6. HE's having lunch with the boss. He's on his way up.

SHE's having lunch with the boss. They must be having an affair.


7. The boss criticised HIM. He'll improve his performance.

The boss criticized HER. She'll be very upset.


8. HE got an unfair deal. Did he get angry?

SHE got an unfair deal. Did she cry?


9. HE's going on a business trip. It's good for his career.

SHE's going on a business trip. What does her husband say?


10 . HE's leaving for a better job.
He knows how to recognise a good opportunity.

SHE's leaving for a better job. Women are not dependable. .

[guru_sal]

ur mst welcum gur n agn aweosme ones

Just a joke :))

How the company views its employees. (HE vs SHE)
1. The family picture is on HIS desk.
Ah, a solid, responsible family man.

The family picture is on HER desk.
Umm, her family will come before her career.


2. HIS desk is cluttered.
He's obviously a hard worker and a busy man.

HER desk is cluttered.
She's obviously a disorganised scatterbrain


3. HE is talking with his co-workers.
He must be discussing the latest deal

SHE is talking with her co-workers.
She must be gossiping.


4. HE's not at his desk. He must be at a meeting.

SHE's not at her desk. She must be in the ladies' room.


5. HE's not in the office. He's meeting with customers.

SHE's not in the office. She must be out shopping.


6. HE's having lunch with the boss. He's on his way up.

SHE's having lunch with the boss. They must be having an affair.


7. The boss criticised HIM. He'll improve his performance.

The boss criticized HER. She'll be very upset.


8. HE got an unfair deal. Did he get angry?

SHE got an unfair deal. Did she cry?


9. HE's going on a business trip. It's good for his career.

SHE's going on a business trip. What does her husband say?


10 . HE's leaving for a better job.
He knows how to recognise a good opportunity.

SHE's leaving for a better job. Women are not dependable. .
hey thankz a lot and yr welcome
and yrs r also gud

[guru_sal]

hey guru 2coooll i will post also but later on
hey ash thankz and ya i'll w8 for yr gud ones

[guru_sal]

Answering machine answers

1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave
your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're
not here. So, leave a message.

3. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the
money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial
aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends,
you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of
money.

4. Hi. Now you say something.

5. Hi, I'm not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can
talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.

6. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?

7. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a
"sexy" message, I'll call sooner

8. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator.
Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with
some
of these magnets.

9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving
messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their
carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not
need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and
number and they will get back to you.

10. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic
thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your
number and your reason for calling, and I'll think about returning your
call.

11. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave
me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

12. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.
Leave a message and then wait by your phone until I call you back.

13. If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our
weapons
right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't
home
and it's safe to leave a message.

14. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain
silent.
Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.


15. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone
right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes
doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right ... real slowly.
So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get
back to you!

[guru_sal]

SLIP OF TONGUE

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face).
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed. "

WIFE: - - -silence - -
HUSBAND: "oh shut"

[guru_sal]

position v/s performance joke




A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is
a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans.

Saint Peter addresses him, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or
not to admit you into the Kingdom of Heaven ?"

The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi driver, from New York ."

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver,
"Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven ."

Now it's the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am the Right
Reverend Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three
years."

Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest, "Take this cotton
robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven ."

"Just a minute," says the priest. "That man was a taxi driver. Why does he
get a silken robe and golden staff?"

"Results," shrugged Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept. When
he drove, people prayed."

Moral: It's Performance, Not Position that Counts ....!!

[guru_sal]

The stupidest joke ever!!!!


Ok here goes......



Q.Why are fire engines red in colour?




Ans.



fire engines have ladders.
ladders have steps.
steps are one foot apart.
foot can be measured using rulers.
a ruler can b a king or a queen.
elizabeth is the queen of england.
elizabeth is also the name of a ship.
ships float on water.
water has fishes.
fishes hav fins.
fins r the people of finland.
the colour of the national flag of finland is red. so fire engines are red.........

[guru_sal]

WHY I LOVE YOU...




i love u cuz of your special ways
i love your smile
i love your laugh
i love how u say my name
i love your bayb talk
i love when u tell me u love me
i love how u look at me
but i wonder do u really love me
i kno u say it, but do u mean it
well if u do i love u too
i love everything u do
i want to be with u forever
i wnat to be your husbend and the dady of your kids
i want to be your everything
i want u to be my everything
but most of all i want to be with u
i want us to be together through thick and thin
i want us to be together unitl we die
i want our graves to be buried right next to each other so ill kno ur there
and if i die before u do
ill go to heaven and wait for u
ill give the angels back their wings and risk it all jus to be wit u again
i love u because of u no matter what
I LOVE YOU ALWAYZ!!!

[animateash]

PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS ARE PAID SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE.
TAKE A LOOK:



1) Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."


Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"


Customer: "No."


Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"


Customer: "No."


Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"


Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."



--------------------------------------------------


2) Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."


Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"


Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"


--------------------------------------------------


3).Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."


Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."


Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."


Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."


Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."


Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."


Customer:: "What?"


Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"


Customer: "No..."


--------------------------------------------------


4).Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"


Tech Support:: ?!%#$


--------------------------------------------------


5).Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"


Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"


--------------------------------------------------


6) Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"


Customer:: "A white one."


--------------------------------------------------


7). Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."


Customer:: "How do you spell that?"


--------------------------------------------------


8). Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"


Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."





--------------------------------------------------


9). Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?"


Customer: "Pentium."


--------------------------------------------------


10). Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."


--------------------------------------------------


11).Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."


--------------------------------------------------


12).Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"


--------------------------------------------------


13). Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print


document, but the computer won't boot properly."


Tech Support: "What does it say?"


Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."


Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"


Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."


--------------------------------------------------


14). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24


hours."


Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"


--------------------------------------------------


15). Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"


Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."


Tech Support:: "Well?"


Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"


--------------------------------------------------


16). A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his


Computer is faulty.


Tech: What's the problem?


User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.


Tech: You'll need a new power supply.


User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.


Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.


User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and


it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.


10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is


frustrated and fed up.


Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is


an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.


User: I knew it!


Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let


me know how it goes.


10 minutes later.


User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.


Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?


User: MS-DOS 6.22.


Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with


NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the


file. Let me know how it goes.


1 hour later.


User: I need a new power supply.


Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?


User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he


started asking questions about the make of power supply.


Tech: Then what did he say?


User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.


-------------------------------------------------


17) customer care officer:I need a product identification no: right now and


may I help u in finding it out?


Cust: sure


CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?


Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?














PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS ARE PAID SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE.
TAKE A LOOK:



1) Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."


Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"


Customer: "No."


Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"


Customer: "No."


Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"


Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."



--------------------------------------------------


2) Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."


Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"


Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"


--------------------------------------------------


3).Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."


Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."


Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."


Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."


Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."


Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."


Customer:: "What?"


Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"


Customer: "No..."


--------------------------------------------------


4).Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"


Tech Support:: ?!%#$


--------------------------------------------------


5).Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"


Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"


--------------------------------------------------


6) Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"


Customer:: "A white one."


--------------------------------------------------


7). Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."


Customer:: "How do you spell that?"


--------------------------------------------------


8). Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"


Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."





--------------------------------------------------


9). Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?"


Customer: "Pentium."


--------------------------------------------------


10). Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."


--------------------------------------------------


11).Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."


--------------------------------------------------


12).Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"


--------------------------------------------------


13). Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print


document, but the computer won't boot properly."


Tech Support: "What does it say?"


Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."


Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"


Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."


--------------------------------------------------


14). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24


hours."


Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"


--------------------------------------------------

[animateash]

A Dinner Conversation That Went Wrong ---


WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)."

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: - - - silence - - -

HUSBAND: "Shit."

[divyaashimix]

A Dinner Conversation That Went Wrong ---


WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)."

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: - - - silence - - -

HUSBAND: "Shit."


hey bhaggu !!!!!!!!!
that was fabulous man.......
seriously thakur!!!!

amazing !!!!!!:D

[divyaashimix]

okay friends....
this is a PIDDHUISM.......

BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL MAN, THERE ISA WOMEN...
AND BEHIND EVERY UNSUCCESSFUL MAN,
THERE ARE TWO !!!!!!!!!!!:D :D

[divyaashimix]

this was a practical joke that occurred between me and my mum....

I TOLD HER, " MAMMA MUJHEY LION SE DARR NAHI LAGTA, PAR LIZARDS SE DARR LAGTA HAI."

SHE SAID, " LION GHAR MEIN WALLS PAR GHOOMTA HAI KYA???? "

[guru_sal]

okay friends....
this is a PIDDHUISM.......

BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL MAN, THERE ISA WOMEN...
AND BEHIND EVERY UNSUCCESSFUL MAN,
THERE ARE TWO !!!!!!!!!!!:D :D
hey divu gr8 yaar .
i think after a long time aapne post kiya is thread mein .
and ash yrs r also gud

[guru_sal]

I LOVE YOU...




A thousand words could never express the amount of love I have for you.
The ocean could never hold the tears that I have cried, because I need you.
The sky could never hold all of the stars that I have made a wish upon, wishing you were here with me.
You are my heartbeat... my soul mate... my life.
I hope you understand the true meaning and greatness of these three simple words...
I love you.

[divyaashimix]

hey divu gr8 yaar .
i think after a long time aapne post kiya is thread mein .
and ash yrs r also gud
Thankx !!!!!!:)

[guru_sal]

~~~~ SMS COLLECTIONS ~~~~~

U may b out of my sight but not out of my heart. U may b out of my reach but not out of my mind. I don't know what I mean 2 u, but u'll always be special 2 me.
* * * * * * * * * *

• Sharp is ur memory, sweet is ur name, deep in my heart u'll always remain. Earth wants water, flower wants dew, I want nothing but a smile from u.
* * * * * * * * * *

• Too many stars in the sky, too many tears that have left my eyes. Too many girls out in the blue, but they are nothing compared to you!
* * * * * * * * * *

• I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
* * * * * * * * * *

• Those who can't have u hate u, those who have u can't handle u, those who abuse u lose u, & then there are those like me who just can't refuse u!
* * * * * * * * * *

• Even if I had 1 wish... I wouldn't wish for u to love me, coz I don't want your love to come from a wish... but straight from your heart.
* * * * * * * * * *

• The sky without stars is like sleep without dreams, like a song without music, like a rose without smell, like a face without smile, like ME without U!
* * * * * * * * * *

• Without ur SMS days are like: Moanday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Frightday, Shattereday & Sadday. So send me SMS everyday.
* * * * * * * * * *

• I don't care how many lips u hv kissed, how many shoulders u have embraced & how many times u’ve said, I luv u! All I care is not b the first but 2 b ur last!
* * * * * * * * * *

• U may be out of my sight, but not out of my heart. U may be out of my reach, but not out of my mind. I may mean nothing to u but u'll always be special to me
* * * * * * * * * *

• I'm a cop and you are under arrest on account of being you. It is illegal to be as lovable as you r. Now you get a life sentence in my heart.
* * * * * * * * * *

• Hey, I just got your blood test report. U have been tested HIV positive. Report reads person has high percentage of Honey In Veins. No Wonder!
* * * * * * * * * *

• Only the open heart receives love, only the open mind receives wisdom, only the open hand receives gifts and only the cute persons receive SMS from me!
* * * * * * * * * *

• Hello!! What's wrong with your mobile?Tried so many times but Every time I call it says: The subscriber your are trying to reach is in your heart!
* * * * * * * * * *

• If u see some one without a smile, give him one of urns, coz u r among a few good people who can shine others lives by just walking with him a few miles
* * * * * * * * * *

• Don't send any messages, I don't want to see you, hear your voice, think of you, coz my doctor advised me 2 keep away from Sweets.
* * * * * * * * * *

• I’ll give u one kiss to go to sleep. I’ll give u two kisses to dream. I’ll give u an endless row of kisses to, when u wake up in the morning, think of me.
* * * * * * * * * *

• Boy: Jaaneman, is dil mein aaja!Gal: Sandal utaaroon kya?Boy: Are pagli, yeh koi mandir thodi hai, aise hi aaja!
* * * * * * * * * *

• In da mornin I don’t eat coz I think of u, at noon I don’t eat coz I think of u, in da evenin I don’t eat coz I think of u, at night I don’t sleep coz Im hungry
* * * * * * * * * *

• Kissing you baby is my dream. I'm the strawberry & u r the cream. Handle me gently keep me real keen. U & I together babes is passion so extreme!
* * * * * * * * * *

• One who smokes has a smoky heart; one who drinks has an alcoholic heart. So dear U must STOP eating sweets as u r already a SWEETEHART!
* * * * * * * * * *

• I know you think I'm cute, I know you think I'm fine, but like the other guys, take a number and wait in line!
* * * * * * * * * *

• I wanted to put something incredibly beautiful, sweet, nice, sensitive, erotic and funny on you screen, but unfortunately I do not fit on it.
* * * * * * * * * *

• If all the girls lived on the other side of the sea, what a good swimmer I would be?
* * * * * * * * * *

• Excuse me, do u have a Band-Aid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you.
* * * * * * * * * *

• If I could be any part of you, I’d be your tear. To be conceived in your heart, born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.
* * * * * * * * * *

• Ek tanha raat me apki yaad aayi, tanhai mitane ko humne ek cigrate sulgai, na jaane kaise qayamat ho gayi ke dhooeein ne bhi apki tasvir banayi.
* * * * * * * * * *

I luv ur eyes I luv ur smile. I cherish ur ways, I adore ur style. What can I say? U r one of a kind & 24/7 u r on my mind!
* * * * * * * * * *

• do u believe in love at first site or do i have to walk by again?
* * * * * * * * * *

• I luv ur eyes I luv ur smile. I cherish ur ways, I adore ur style. What can I say? U r one of a kind & 24/7 u r on my mind!
* * * * * * * * * *

• If love & friendship could be brought or sold as if they were Stocks & Shares those wise enough to invest in you SEXY would all be millionaires! !!
* * * * * * * * * *

• Faith makes all things possible, love makes all things easy, hopes makes all things work, but ur gorgeous smile brings all faith, luv & hope in me!
* * * * * * * * * *

• A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum, a kiss isn't a kiss without the tongue, so open ur mouth & close ur eyes & give ur tongue some exercise.
* * * * * * * * * *

• U can b a doctor & save lives, a lawyer & defend lives, a soldier & protect lives or simply b urself, a sweet person who touches hearts!
* * * * * * * * * *

• Those who can't have u hate u, those who have u can't handle u, those who abuse u lose u, & then there are those like me who just can't refuse u!
* * * * * * * * * *

• I used to think that dreams do not come true, but this quickly changed the moment I laid my eyes on you.
* * * * * * * * * *

• There are Tulips in my garden, there are Tulips in the park but nothing is more beautiful then our two lips meeting in the dark!
* * * * * * * * * *
smartman + smart nari = fighting jari
smartman + bevakuf nari = barbadi,,,,,
bevakuf man + smart nari = Jeb khali &
Bevakifman + bevakuf nari = SHAADI

[divyaashimix]

hey AWESOME guru...
great work !!!!!:)

[guru_sal]

~~~~ FUNNY ~~~

Asman ko neend aye to sulaau kahan,dharti ko maut aye to dafnao kahan, Sagar men lehar aye to chupao kahan,jab teri yaad aye to jau kahan!!!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Kitna bebas he insan kismat ke aage,Kitne dur he sapne hakikat ke aage,Koi ruki hui dhadkan se puchhe, Kitna tadpta hai dil MOHABBAT ke aage.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Woh raate kuchha or hogi.Woh baate kuchha or hogi.Unke aane ke bad woh mulakaten kuchha or hogi.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Jo teer bhi atahe khali nahi jata mayush mere dar se savali nahi jata kantehi kiya karte he phoolo ki hifazat . Phoolo ko bachane mali nahi jata.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Aankho ko aankho ka pata na hota agar..!Dil ko dard ka ehsaas na hota agar..!Kitna hasin hota zindagi ka ye safar..! Milkar yun bichhadna na hota .

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Jåän häi mujkò zindgi se pyari, jaan ke liye kar du kurban yari, jaan ke liye tod do dosti tumari, Ab tumse kya chhupana dost, Tum hi to ho JAAN hamari.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

BAHOT RONA PADA HAME APKO HASANE KE VASTE. HUM KHUD HI JAL GAYE EK CHIRAG JALANE KE VASTE.,

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Sham ki tanhai me kho na jana, Kisi ki masti me doob na jana,Milegi zarur kal manzil tumhe,Apni manzil ko pa kar ko bhul na jana.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Zulfon KoF_il_ K_r,J_b KoiMehboob_. .K_b_r P_rRoti H_i,T_b MehshoosHot_ H_i Ke..Mout Bhi....Kitni H_seenHoti H_i.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

....Aänkho ki Awääz kuch Aur hoti häi,sänso ki Aäg kuch Aur hoti hai,...kaun chahta hai,Apnose bichadana majburi yo ki baat kuch aur hoti häi...

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Sabhi Nagme Saaz me Gaye nahi Jaate,sabhi log Mahafil me Bulaye nahi jaate,Kuch Paas Raha ker bhi Yaad nahi Aate, kuch dur raha ker bhi Bhulaye nahi jaate.....

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Jan me ROSEFeb me PROPOSEMarch me GIFTApril me LIFTMay meCHATINGJune me DATINGJuly me MIS U Aug meKIS U Sep me ANGER Oct me DANGER Nov me LEFT Dec me NEXT

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Har bat se inkar nahi hota Har raste par intazar nahi hota you to najar milti hai sabse lekin har chahere se pyar nahi hota......!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Dil tod diya mera, chita bhi jala dena, kafan na mile to duppata odha dena, koi puche ke rog kya tha, to NAZAR JUKA KAR MOHABBAT BATA DENA,!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Dard gairo ko sunane ki jarurat kya he, Apne sath auro ko rulane ki jarurat kya he, Waqt yuhi kam he mohabat ke liye, ruthkar Waqt gawane ki jarurat ana tha.!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Sirf yaadon ka silsila reh gaya,khuda jane unse hamara kya rishta reh gaya,ek chand chup gaya jane kahan,ek sitara use dhundta reh gaya

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Sapne to sirf sapne hote hai,apne to phir bhi apne hote hai,tum chaho to sapno ko apna banao,magar apno ko kabhi sapna mat banao...!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

DOSTI KE NAM PE DIWANE CHALE AATE HAI.SHAMA KE PICHE PARWANE CHALE AATE HAI. TUMHE YAAD NA AAYEE KHAIR.Aana meri MAUT PAR. Us DIN TO BEGANE BHI CHALE AATana tha.!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Gam me hasne valoko kabhi rulaya nahi jata, Lehro se pani ko kabhi hataya nahi jata, hone vale ho jate he khud hi dil se apne , Kisiko kehkar apna baE HAI..,

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Zamana gujar gaya hatho ko milaye huye. Muddat ho gayi nazaro ko milaye huye. Din.Rat nikal gaye yado me khoye huve.Ab kab samne aaoge yaar muskurte huye.?

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Sajane ke liye hum bhi sajate magar hamari saj bewafa thi gana to hum bhi gate magar hamari awaj bewafa thi banane ke liye hum bhi banate TAJ MAHEL magar hamari mumtaj bewafa thi.!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Ek shaam AATI hai,tumhari yaad lekar,ek shaam jaati hai tumhari yaad lekar,humko uss shaam ka intezaar hai,jo aaye tumhe saath lekar....

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Longest is mother's love. Shortest is other's love. Sweetest is Lover's love. But.. Strongest is friend's love..!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Jo teer bhi atahe khali nahi jata mayush mere dar se savali nahi jata kantehi kiya karte he phoolo ki hifazat . Phoolo ko bachane mali nahi jata.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Dost kabhi dosto se khafa nahi hota. Dil milkar kabhi juda nahi hota! Bhula dena hamari kamiyo ko kyoki insaan kabhi khuda nahi hota!!!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Inn ankho me Aansu aaye na hote,agar wo piche mudkar muskraye na hote,unke jane ke bad ye gum hota hai,kash wo jindgi me aye hi na hote.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Sapno se dil lagane ki aadat nahi rahi, har waqt muskurane ki aadat nahi rahi, yeh soch ke ki koi manane nahi aayega, ab hamein ruth jane ki aadat nahi rahi.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Dilse tera khayal na jaye to kya karu,tuhi bata tu yad aaye to kya karu hasrat yeh hai ki ek nazar dekh lu tuje,kismat magar woh din na laye to kya karu.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Koi ni dhadkan na ame diwana bani gaya, Prem na aasu thi ame bhinjai gaya,koine kadar kya che amari,Ame to bus yaado saathe ramta rahi gaya.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Meray alfazo ko jooth mat samjna,yaad ati hai bahut jald milne ki dua karna,ji rahehe he tumhare nampe mar jau to bewafa mat samjna..?

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Kisine dil ko is kadar choo liya ke hum kisi aur ko choo na sake , hum to chale the dost banane, aap to dhadkan ban gaye.!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Khamosh se tum rehne lage ho, Intezar kisi ka karne lage ho, Yakeenan kisi se hui hai mohabbat, Bina baat hi muskura ne lage ho...!!!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Zindagi kisi ki Amanat nahi hoti.Amanat me kabhi Qyamat nahi hoti.Dil ko sambhal ke rakhana dost ISHQ ki jail me kabhi jamanat nahi hoti.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

"Na chahat hai sitaroki,na tamanna hai najaroki,Na arju hai jannat ki,Na khwaish hai baharon ki,aap jaisa ek dost mil jaye to kya jarurat hai haazaron ki

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Rat ki suruat nind se hoti he, nind ki suruat sapno se hoti he, sapno ki suruat apnose hoti he ,apno ki suruat AAP SE HOTI HE.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Aankhe kholu to chehra uska ho Aankhe bandh karoo to sapana uska ho mar bhi jaoo to koi gam Nahi agar kafan ke badle dupatta uska ho

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Kitna bhi chaho na bhool paoge hamay, jitni door jaoge najdik paoge hamey. Mita sakte ho to mita do yaaden meri, magar kya sapano se juda kar paoge hume?

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Be hath felau mara tari khudae dur nathi ..pan hu mangu ne tu apide a vat mane mane manjur nathi..!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Zindgi sabko mile zaruri to nahi, mohhabat sabko mile zaruri to nahi, Kuch log bahut yaad aate hain zindgi me,Woh bhi hume yaad kare zaruri to nahi !!!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

IF CARE IS A WAVE I GIVE YOU SEA,IF RESPECT IS LEAF I GIVE YOU TREE, IF TRUST IS PLANET IGIVE YOU GALAXY, IF FRINDSHIP IS LIFE I GIVE YOU MYSELF.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

DIWALI KE SUBHA AVSER PE BHAGVAN APKO TATA KA STATUS, AMBANI KI DOLAT, MANMOHAN SIGN KI DHIRAG LADEN KI HIMANT, BUSH KI TAKAT, OR BILL-GATES KI INCOME DE.

[guru_sal]

~~~~~~~~ So I M IN LOVE ~~~~~

If love is to take a breath away
So I am in love

If love is to cry when remember
So I am in love

If love to miss and miss
So I am in love

If love to belong to
So I am in love

If love to die for
So I am in love

If love to dream of
So I am in love

If love to care about
So I am in love

If love to adore
So I am in love

If love to keep talking about
So I am in love

If love to be from and for
So I am in love

I admit.. I can¢t hide..
I am totally in love

[animateash]

hey bhaggu !!!!!!!!!
that was fabulous man.......
seriously thakur!!!!

amazing !!!!!!:D
thxn a a lott

[animateash]

this was a practical joke that occurred between me and my mum....

I TOLD HER, " MAMMA MUJHEY LION SE DARR NAHI LAGTA, PAR LIZARDS SE DARR LAGTA HAI."

SHE SAID, " LION GHAR MEIN WALLS PAR GHOOMTA HAI KYA???? "
dam coooll

[animateash]

dam cool guru

[luckysd]

~~~~ SMS COLLECTIONS ~~~~~

U may b out of my sight but not out of my heart. U may b out of my reach but not out of my mind. I don't know what I mean 2 u, but u'll always be special 2 me.
* * * * * * * * * *

• Sharp is ur memory, sweet is ur name, deep in my heart u'll always remain. Earth wants water, flower wants dew, I want nothing but a smile from u.
* * * * * * * * * *

• Too many stars in the sky, too many tears that have left my eyes. Too many girls out in the blue, but they are nothing compared to you!
* * * * * * * * * *

• I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
* * * * * * * * * *

• Those who can't have u hate u, those who have u can't handle u, those who abuse u lose u, & then there are those like me who just can't refuse u!
* * * * * * * * * *

• Even if I had 1 wish... I wouldn't wish for u to love me, coz I don't want your love to come from a wish... but straight from your heart.
* * * * * * * * * *

• The sky without stars is like sleep without dreams, like a song without music, like a rose without smell, like a face without smile, like ME without U!
* * * * * * * * * *

• Without ur SMS days are like: Moanday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Frightday, Shattereday & Sadday. So send me SMS everyday.
* * * * * * * * * *

• I don't care how many lips u hv kissed, how many shoulders u have embraced & how many times u’ve said, I luv u! All I care is not b the first but 2 b ur last!
* * * * * * * * * *

• U may be out of my sight, but not out of my heart. U may be out of my reach, but not out of my mind. I may mean nothing to u but u'll always be special to me
* * * * * * * * * *

• I'm a cop and you are under arrest on account of being you. It is illegal to be as lovable as you r. Now you get a life sentence in my heart.
* * * * * * * * * *

• Hey, I just got your blood test report. U have been tested HIV positive. Report reads person has high percentage of Honey In Veins. No Wonder!
* * * * * * * * * *

• Only the open heart receives love, only the open mind receives wisdom, only the open hand receives gifts and only the cute persons receive SMS from me!
* * * * * * * * * *

• Hello!! What's wrong with your mobile?Tried so many times but Every time I call it says: The subscriber your are trying to reach is in your heart!
* * * * * * * * * *

• If u see some one without a smile, give him one of urns, coz u r among a few good people who can shine others lives by just walking with him a few miles
* * * * * * * * * *

• Don't send any messages, I don't want to see you, hear your voice, think of you, coz my doctor advised me 2 keep away from Sweets.
* * * * * * * * * *

• I’ll give u one kiss to go to sleep. I’ll give u two kisses to dream. I’ll give u an endless row of kisses to, when u wake up in the morning, think of me.
* * * * * * * * * *

• Boy: Jaaneman, is dil mein aaja!Gal: Sandal utaaroon kya?Boy: Are pagli, yeh koi mandir thodi hai, aise hi aaja!
* * * * * * * * * *

• In da mornin I don’t eat coz I think of u, at noon I don’t eat coz I think of u, in da evenin I don’t eat coz I think of u, at night I don’t sleep coz Im hungry
* * * * * * * * * *

• Kissing you baby is my dream. I'm the strawberry & u r the cream. Handle me gently keep me real keen. U & I together babes is passion so extreme!
* * * * * * * * * *

• One who smokes has a smoky heart; one who drinks has an alcoholic heart. So dear U must STOP eating sweets as u r already a SWEETEHART!
* * * * * * * * * *

• I know you think I'm cute, I know you think I'm fine, but like the other guys, take a number and wait in line!
* * * * * * * * * *

• I wanted to put something incredibly beautiful, sweet, nice, sensitive, erotic and funny on you screen, but unfortunately I do not fit on it.
* * * * * * * * * *

• If all the girls lived on the other side of the sea, what a good swimmer I would be?
* * * * * * * * * *

• Excuse me, do u have a Band-Aid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you.
* * * * * * * * * *

• If I could be any part of you, I’d be your tear. To be conceived in your heart, born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.
* * * * * * * * * *

• Ek tanha raat me apki yaad aayi, tanhai mitane ko humne ek cigrate sulgai, na jaane kaise qayamat ho gayi ke dhooeein ne bhi apki tasvir banayi.
* * * * * * * * * *

I luv ur eyes I luv ur smile. I cherish ur ways, I adore ur style. What can I say? U r one of a kind & 24/7 u r on my mind!
* * * * * * * * * *

• do u believe in love at first site or do i have to walk by again?
* * * * * * * * * *

• I luv ur eyes I luv ur smile. I cherish ur ways, I adore ur style. What can I say? U r one of a kind & 24/7 u r on my mind!
* * * * * * * * * *

• If love & friendship could be brought or sold as if they were Stocks & Shares those wise enough to invest in you SEXY would all be millionaires! !!
* * * * * * * * * *

• Faith makes all things possible, love makes all things easy, hopes makes all things work, but ur gorgeous smile brings all faith, luv & hope in me!
* * * * * * * * * *

• A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum, a kiss isn't a kiss without the tongue, so open ur mouth & close ur eyes & give ur tongue some exercise.
* * * * * * * * * *

• U can b a doctor & save lives, a lawyer & defend lives, a soldier & protect lives or simply b urself, a sweet person who touches hearts!
* * * * * * * * * *

• Those who can't have u hate u, those who have u can't handle u, those who abuse u lose u, & then there are those like me who just can't refuse u!
* * * * * * * * * *

• I used to think that dreams do not come true, but this quickly changed the moment I laid my eyes on you.
* * * * * * * * * *

• There are Tulips in my garden, there are Tulips in the park but nothing is more beautiful then our two lips meeting in the dark!
* * * * * * * * * *
smartman + smart nari = fighting jari
smartman + bevakuf nari = barbadi,,,,,
bevakuf man + smart nari = Jeb khali &
Bevakifman + bevakuf nari = SHAADI

hey guru awesum work.................really i love them all...............try karungi k apne frndds ko send karu:D

[tukz]

hey thankz a lot and yr welcome
and yrs r also gud
ur mssssssssst welcum n thnx a lto

[animateash]

hey all fo u gud onesss

[guru_sal]

hey guru awesum work.................really i love them all...............try karungi k apne frndds ko send karu:D
hey thankz and jarur send karna

[guru_sal]

ur mssssssssst welcum n thnx a lto
hey yr welcome

[guru_sal]

hey all fo u gud onesss
thankz ash

[guru_sal]

thinking bout u






When you read
these words
I'll be sitting here
thinking about you
As I often do
I'll probally
be smiling.
One of the smiles
I always do
When thoughts of
you come my way
When you read
these first few
words I hope
you'll think just
for a moment
How much you
mean to me.
And how much
you always will.
And when you
continue on with
the things...
You need to be
doing in your day
Smile a Smile
for me, and remember
That I will be
thinking of you still.

[guru_sal]

»« My Love Is Like To Ice »«

My love is like to ice, and I to fire:
How comes it then that this her cold so great
Is not dissolved through my so hot desire,
But harder grows the more I her entreat?
Or how comes it that my exceeding heat
Is not allayed by her heart-frozen cold,
But that I burn much more in boiling sweat,
And feel my flames augmented manifold?
What more miraculous thing may be told,
That fire, which all things melts, should harden ice,
And ice, which is congealed with senseless cold,
Should kindle fire by wonderful device?
Such is the power of love in gentle mind,
That it can alter all the course of kind.

[guru_sal]

God did not intend for us to be all rich, beautiful, or great alone ; but he does intend for us all to be friends .

HAPPY GIRLFRIEND'S DAY! If you get this more than once -
you are blessed with friends.


Happy Girlfriend's Day!

Good times are even better when they're shared.


A good long talk can cure almost anything.


Everyone needs someone with whom to share her secrets.


Listening is just as important as talking.


An understanding friend is better than a therapist;
And cheaper too!


Laughter makes the world a happier place.


Friends are like wine; they get better with age .



Sometimes you just need a shoulder to cry on.

Great minds think alike, especially when they are female!







When it comes to "bonding," females do it better.



YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD FOR SLUMBER PARTIES!!!!


It's important to make time to do "girl things."


Calories don't count when you are
having lunch with your girlfriends.



GEMS MAY BE PRECIOUS,
BUT FRIENDSHIP IS PRICELESS!!! !!

[tukz]

gr8 job agn guru

[guru_sal]

gr8 job agn guru
hey thankz
wohi to mera kaam hai

[guru_sal]

The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me."

"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy."

"Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------

An Englishman, an American and a Sardarji are called upon to test a lie detector.
The Englishman says: -I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer-. BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. -Ok-, he says, -10 bottles-. And the machine is silent.
The American says: -I think I can eat 15 hamburgers-. BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. -Allright, 8 hamburgers-. And the machine's silent.
The Sardarji says: -I think...-, BUZZZZZZ goes the machine

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------

Two sardarjis walked toward each other on a country road. One carried a burlap bag over his shoulder.
"Hey Bhai," first sardarji drawled, "what's in the bag?"
"Chickens," was the reply. "If I guess how many, can I have one?"
"You can have both of them." "OK," first sardarji said. "Five."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

[guru_sal]

Sardar start raising his bat on 35 runs. Sachin ask him its not a 50 or 100 ?
Sardar replies : ONLY A GRADUATE CAN UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF SCORING 35 !

__________________________________________________



Interviewer : Explain digestive system in one line.
Sardar: Its starts with right hand and ends with left hand.

__________________________________________________


Teacher to Sardar : Make a sentence in which one word is repeated Two times.
Sardar : If Lara Datta marries Brian Lara she become Lara Lara.

__________________________________________________


CHARTERED ACCOUNTANTS Anthem.
"Fight fight never surrender.
After May there is November ..
Where there is a will there is a way .......
After November there is may.......

[guru_sal]

How to propose?

When I saw your name next to mine,
In our wedding card,
I felt blessed.

When I saw you smile,
Seeing me in the traditional bride groom dress,
I felt teased.

When I held your hand,
During the marriage rituals,
I felt responsible.

When you entered my lonely bachelor life,
And changed it into a heavenly abode,
I felt lucky.

When you showed the same love as I did,
Towards my parents,
I felt proud.

When you scolded me,
For neglecting my heath amidst my hectic work,
I felt pampered.

When I saw you scream,
Crying out of labor pains,
I felt helpless.

When I saw tears of happiness in your eyes,
As you looked at our kid,
I felt blessed once again.
All these feeling have bloomed in my heart,

But are yet to blossom in reality.
As these are feelings I long to feel,
For these are still unfelt.

Will you marry me?

[guru_sal]

hey guru gr8 job

[guru_sal]

Two guys are being chased by a bear, when one stops
to put
on his sneakers.

The other guy yells, "You idiot, you can't outrun a
bear."

The first guy gasps, "I don't have to outrun a bear
- I
just have to outrun you."

[guru_sal]

kya likha hai wah wah {romantic}


Asman ko neend aye to sulaau kahan,dharti ko maut aye to dafnao kahan, Sagar men lehar aye to chupao kahan,jab teri yaad aye to jau kahan!!!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Kitna bebas he insan kismat ke aage,Kitne dur he sapne hakikat ke aage,Koi ruki hui dhadkan se puchhe, Kitna tadpta hai dil MOHABBAT ke aage.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Woh raate kuchha or hogi.Woh baate kuchha or hogi.Unke aane ke bad woh mulakaten kuchha or hogi.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Jo teer bhi atahe khali nahi jata mayush mere dar se savali nahi jata kantehi kiya karte he phoolo ki hifazat . Phoolo ko bachane mali nahi jata.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Aankho ko aankho ka pata na hota agar..!Dil ko dard ka ehsaas na hota agar..!Kitna hasin hota zindagi ka ye safar..! Milkar yun bichhadna na hota .

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

J裝n h臺 mujk・zindgi se pyari, jaan ke liye kar du kurban yari, jaan ke liye tod do dosti tumari, Ab tumse kya chhupana dost, Tum hi to ho JAAN hamari.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

BAHOT RONA PADA HAME APKO HASANE KE VASTE. HUM KHUD HI JAL GAYE EK CHIRAG JALANE KE VASTE.,

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Sham ki tanhai me kho na jana, Kisi ki masti me doob na jana,Milegi zarur kal manzil tumhe,Apni manzil ko pa kar ko bhul na jana.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Zulfon KoF_il_ K_r,J_b KoiMehboob_. .K_b_r P_rRoti H_i,T_b MehshoosHot_ H_i Ke..Mout Bhi....Kitni H_seenHoti H_i.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

....A舅kho ki Aw蒿z kuch Aur hoti h臺,s舅so ki A臠 kuch Aur hoti hai,...kaun chahta hai,Apnose bichadana majburi yo ki baat kuch aur hoti h臺...

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Sabhi Nagme Saaz me Gaye nahi Jaate,sabhi log Mahafil me Bulaye nahi jaate,Kuch Paas Raha ker bhi Yaad nahi Aate, kuch dur raha ker bhi Bhulaye nahi jaate.....

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Jan me ROSEFeb me PROPOSEMarch me GIFTApril me LIFTMay meCHATINGJune me DATINGJuly me MIS U Aug meKIS U Sep me ANGER Oct me DANGER Nov me LEFT Dec me NEXT

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Har bat se inkar nahi hota Har raste par intazar nahi hota you to najar milti hai sabse lekin har chahere se pyar nahi hota......!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Dil tod diya mera, chita bhi jala dena, kafan na mile to duppata odha dena, koi puche ke rog kya tha, to NAZAR JUKA KAR MOHABBAT BATA DENA,!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Dard gairo ko sunane ki jarurat kya he, Apne sath auro ko rulane ki jarurat kya he, Waqt yuhi kam he mohabat ke liye, ruthkar Waqt gawane ki jarurat ana tha.!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Sirf yaadon ka silsila reh gaya,khuda jane unse hamara kya rishta reh gaya,ek chand chup gaya jane kahan,ek sitara use dhundta reh gaya

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Sapne to sirf sapne hote hai,apne to phir bhi apne hote hai,tum chaho to sapno ko apna banao,magar apno ko kabhi sapna mat banao...!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

DOSTI KE NAM PE DIWANE CHALE AATE HAI.SHAMA KE PICHE PARWANE CHALE AATE HAI. TUMHE YAAD NA AAYEE KHAIR.Aana meri MAUT PAR. Us DIN TO BEGANE BHI CHALE AATana tha.!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Gam me hasne valoko kabhi rulaya nahi jata, Lehro se pani ko kabhi hataya nahi jata, hone vale ho jate he khud hi dil se apne , Kisiko kehkar apna baE HAI..,

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Zamana gujar gaya hatho ko milaye huye. Muddat ho gayi nazaro ko milaye huye. Din.Rat nikal gaye yado me khoye huve.Ab kab samne aaoge yaar muskurte huye.?

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Sajane ke liye hum bhi sajate magar hamari saj bewafa thi gana to hum bhi gate magar hamari awaj bewafa thi banane ke liye hum bhi banate TAJ MAHEL magar hamari mumtaj bewafa thi.!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Ek shaam AATI hai,tumhari yaad lekar,ek shaam jaati hai tumhari yaad lekar,humko uss shaam ka intezaar hai,jo aaye tumhe saath lekar....

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Longest is mother's love. Shortest is other's love. Sweetest is Lover's love. But.. Strongest is friend's love..!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Jo teer bhi atahe khali nahi jata mayush mere dar se savali nahi jata kantehi kiya karte he phoolo ki hifazat . Phoolo ko bachane mali nahi jata.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Dost kabhi dosto se khafa nahi hota. Dil milkar kabhi juda nahi hota! Bhula dena hamari kamiyo ko kyoki insaan kabhi khuda nahi hota!!!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Inn ankho me Aansu aaye na hote,agar wo piche mudkar muskraye na hote,unke jane ke bad ye gum hota hai,kash wo jindgi me aye hi na hote.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Sapno se dil lagane ki aadat nahi rahi, har waqt muskurane ki aadat nahi rahi, yeh soch ke ki koi manane nahi aayega, ab hamein ruth jane ki aadat nahi rahi.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Dilse tera khayal na jaye to kya karu,tuhi bata tu yad aaye to kya karu hasrat yeh hai ki ek nazar dekh lu tuje,kismat magar woh din na laye to kya karu.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Koi ni dhadkan na ame diwana bani gaya, Prem na aasu thi ame bhinjai gaya,koine kadar kya che amari,Ame to bus yaado saathe ramta rahi gaya.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Meray alfazo ko jooth mat samjna,yaad ati hai bahut jald milne ki dua karna,ji rahehe he tumhare nampe mar jau to bewafa mat samjna..?

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Kisine dil ko is kadar choo liya ke hum kisi aur ko choo na sake , hum to chale the dost banane, aap to dhadkan ban gaye.!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Khamosh se tum rehne lage ho, Intezar kisi ka karne lage ho, Yakeenan kisi se hui hai mohabbat, Bina baat hi muskura ne lage ho...!!!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Zindagi kisi ki Amanat nahi hoti.Amanat me kabhi Qyamat nahi hoti.Dil ko sambhal ke rakhana dost ISHQ ki jail me kabhi jamanat nahi hoti.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

"Na chahat hai sitaroki,na tamanna hai najaroki,Na arju hai jannat ki,Na khwaish hai baharon ki,aap jaisa ek dost mil jaye to kya jarurat hai haazaron ki

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Rat ki suruat nind se hoti he, nind ki suruat sapno se hoti he, sapno ki suruat apnose hoti he ,apno ki suruat AAP SE HOTI HE.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Aankhe kholu to chehra uska ho Aankhe bandh karoo to sapana uska ho mar bhi jaoo to koi gam Nahi agar kafan ke badle dupatta uska ho

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Kitna bhi chaho na bhool paoge hamay, jitni door jaoge najdik paoge hamey. Mita sakte ho to mita do yaaden meri, magar kya sapano se juda kar paoge hume?

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Be hath felau mara tari khudae dur nathi ..pan hu mangu ne tu apide a vat mane mane manjur nathi..!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Zindgi sabko mile zaruri to nahi, mohhabat sabko mile zaruri to nahi, Kuch log bahut yaad aate hain zindgi me,Woh bhi hume yaad kare zaruri to nahi !!!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

IF CARE IS A WAVE I GIVE YOU SEA,IF RESPECT IS LEAF I GIVE YOU TREE, IF TRUST IS PLANET IGIVE YOU GALAXY, IF FRINDSHIP IS LIFE I GIVE YOU MYSELF.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

DIWALI KE SUBHA AVSER PE BHAGVAN APKO TATA KA STATUS, AMBANI KI DOLAT, MANMOHAN SIGN KI DHIRAG LADEN KI HIMANT, BUSH KI TAKAT, OR BILL-GATES KI INCOME DE.

THANKS

[divyaashimix]

hey bhaggu GURU !!!!!
fantabulous job........:) :) :) :)

[guru_sal]

hey bhaggu GURU !!!!!
fantabulous job........:) :) :) :)
hey divu thankz yaar.
koi to padta hai.
i mean bahut kam log hi padte hai

[guru_sal]

A 90-year-old man was having his annual checkups.

The doctor asked him how he was feeling.

" I've never been better," the old man replied." I've got a twenty-year- old bride who's pregnant & is about to deliver a child. What is your opinion about that, Doc?" the old man asked.

The doctor thought for a moment, then says, " Well, let me tell you a story. I know a guy who is a hunter. He never misses a season for hunting.But, one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun ".

The doctor continued, " So he's walking in the woods near a creek, and suddenly he spots a lion in some bush in front of him. He raises up his umbrella, points it at the lion and squeezes the handle.

BAM! The lion drops dead in front of him ."

That's impossible !" said the old man in disbelief. Someone else must have shot that lion.


" Exactly" Said the Doc

[guru_sal]

What would happen, if earth starts rotating 30 times
faster than it normally does?

Guess what?

Scroll down to see the answer............

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We would get salary everyday.

[guru_sal]

Alphabet of Happiness...







A--Accept
Accept others for who they are and for the choices they've made even if you have difficulty understanding their beliefs, motives, or actions.

B--Break Away
Break away from everything that stands in the way of what you hope to accomplish with your life.

C--Create
Create a family of friends whom you can share your hopes, dreams, sorrows, and happiness with.

D--Decide
Decide that you'll be successful and happy come what may, and good things will find you. The roadblocks are only minor obstacles along the way.

E--Explore
Explore and experiment. The world has much to offer, and you have much to give. And every time you try something new, you'll learn more about yourself.

F--Forgive
Forgive and forget. Grudges only weigh you down and inspire unhappiness and grief. Soar above it, and remember that everyone makes mistakes.

G--Grow
Leave the childhood monsters behind. They can no longer hurt you or stand in your way.

H--Hope
Hope for the best and never forget that anything is possible as long as you remain dedicated to the task.

I--Ignore
Ignore the negative voice inside your head. Focus instead on your goals and remember your accomplishments. Your past success is only a small inkling of what the future holds.

J--Journey
Journey to new worlds, new possibilities, by remaining open-minded. Try to learn something new every day, and you'll grow.

K--Know
Know that no matter how bad things seem, they'll always get better. The warmth of spring always follows the harshest winter.

L--Love
Let love fill your heart instead of hate. When hate is in your heart, there's room for nothing else, but when love is in your heart, there's room for endless happiness.

M--Manage
Manage your time and your expenses wisely, and you'll suffer less stress and worry. Then you'll be able to focus on the important things in life.

N--Notice
Never ignore the poor, infirm, helpless, weak, or suffering. Offer your assistance when possible, and always your kindness and understanding.

O--Open
Open your eyes and take in all the beauty around you. Even during the worst of times, there's still much to be thankful for.

P--Play
Never forget to have fun along the way. Success means nothing without happiness.

Q--Question
Ask many questions, because you're here to learn.

R--Relax
Refuse to let worry and stress rule your life, and remember that things always have a way of working out in the end.

S--Share
Share your talent, skills, knowledge, and time with others. Everything that you invest in others will return to you many times over.

T--Try
Even when your dreams seem impossible to reach, try anyway. You'll be amazed by what you can accomplish.

U--Use
Use your gifts to your best ability. Talent that's wasted has no value. Talent that's used will bring unexpected rewards.

V--Value
Value the friends and family members who've supported and encouraged you, and be there for them as well.

W--Work
Work hard every day to be the best person you can be, but never feel guilty if you fall short of your goals. Every sunrise offers a second chance.

X--X-Ray
Look deep inside the hearts of those around you and you'll see the goodness and beauty within.

Y--Yield
Yield to commitment. If you stay on track and remain dedicated, you'll find success at the end of the road.

Z--Zoom
Zoom to a happy place when bad memories or sorrow rears its ugly head. Let nothing interfere with your goals. Instead, focus on your abilities, your dreams, and a brighter tomorrow.

[tukz]

hey guru brilliant job yaar.........hats off 2 u

[guru_sal]

hey guru brilliant job yaar.........hats off 2 u
THANKZ TUKZ

[tukz]

THANKZ TUKZ
ur msstttttt welcum

[guru_sal]

hey guyz kissi ke paas achche jokes hai

[divyaashimix]

I'll try wait.........
SARDAR TO HIS FRIEND......

Sardar: oye Kal raat mein upar ki birth par soya tha, aur aaj bahut kamar dard kar rahi hai...

Friend: toh tujhey neechey waley sey birth exchange kar leni thi na...


Sardar: Oye mein kya karta, neechey koi tha hi nahi !!!!!

[guru_sal]

I'll try wait.........
SARDAR TO HIS FRIEND......

Sardar: oye Kal raat mein upar ki birth par soya tha, aur aaj bahut kamar dard kar rahi hai...

Friend: toh tujhey neechey waley sey birth exchange kar leni thi na...


Sardar: Oye mein kya karta, neechey koi tha hi nahi !!!!!
hey gr8 yaar .......

[guru_sal]

Subject: Your Name Stands For...


Instructions:What you do is find out what each letter of your name
means.
Then connect all the meanings and it describes YOU. (Its TRUE !!)
(Isn't it GREAT !!)

PS : If you have double or triple letters, just count the meaning once.

For Example : SUJATA

S- You are very broad-minded.
U- You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
J- Jealously
A- You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
T- You have an attitude, a big one.
A- You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.


A You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
B You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
C You definitely have a partier side in you, don't be shy to show it.
D You have trouble trusting people.
E You are a very exciting person.
F Everyone loves you.
G You have excellent ways of v! iewing people.
H You are not judgmental.
I You are always smiling and making others smile.
J Jealously
K You like to try new things.
L Love is something you deeply believe in.
M Success comes easily to you.
N You like to work, but you always want a break.
O You are very open-minded.
P You are very friendly and understanding.
Q You are a hypocrite.
R You are a social butterfly.
S You are very broad-minded.
T You have an attitude, a big one.
U You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
V You have a very good physique and looks.
W You like your privacy.
X You never let people tell you what to do.
Y You cause a lot of trouble.
Z You're always fighting with someone.

[guru_sal]

I - Original:
'Pussy cat Pussy cat, where have you been?'
'I have been to London to see the Queen'
'Pussy cat Pussy cat what did you there?'
'I frightened a little mouse under the chair!'

Punjabi Translation:
'Mano Billi, Mano Billi, kithe gai si?'
'Rani Ji nu milan main vilayat gai si'
'Ki chan chareya tu othe ja ke?'
'Ghar wapis aa gai main chuhe kha ke!'

II - Original
'Baa Baa Black sheep have you any wool?'
'Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full
One for the master, one for the dame, And one for the
little boy who lives
down the lane.'

Punjabi Translation:
'Kali Bhed, Kali Bhed, hai kucch unn?'
'Haan bhai,Haan bhai, Tin pandan gin, Ek tere waste,
ek teri woti lai Ek us
munde lai jehra khara raste'.

III - Original
Humphty Dumphty sat on a wall,
Humphty Dumphty had a great fall,
All the kings' horses, all the kings' men Couldn't put
Humphty Dumphty
together again

Punjabi Translation:
Baba Karnail Singh baitha si Dukaan te'
Baba Karnail Singh diggya dhadam se, Pind de log phir
aa ke kehan lagge,
Baba Karnail Singh te gaya hun kaam se.

[guru_sal]

NICE ONE BUT OLD


Laloo Prasad sent his Resume to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA.
A few days later he got this reply:



Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence.
No phone call shall be entertained.

Thanks
Bill Gates.



Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply.
He arranged a press conference : "Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai."
Everyone was delighted. Laloo prasad continued...... "Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ? par letter angreeze main hai - isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.




Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ----- Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya
You do not meet -----aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement ----- humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----- ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.
No phone call ----- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained ----- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks ----- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.
Bill Gates. ---- Tohar Bilva. .





,

[guru_sal]

Guyz Last Pg Pe Rhymes Wala Achcha Hai Jarur Padna

[tukz]

NICE ONE BUT OLD


Laloo Prasad sent his Resume to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA.
A few days later he got this reply:



Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence.
No phone call shall be entertained.

Thanks
Bill Gates.



Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply.
He arranged a press conference : "Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai."
Everyone was delighted. Laloo prasad continued...... "Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ? par letter angreeze main hai - isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.




Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ----- Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya
You do not meet -----aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement ----- humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----- ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.
No phone call ----- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained ----- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks ----- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.
Bill Gates. ---- Tohar Bilva. .





,
nice 1 but i newe it

[tukz]

hey guru n divs gr8 job

[guru_sal]

nice 1 but i newe it
hey tukz thankz and i knew dat dis one is old
isliye to startu\ing mein heading dal diya tha

[guru_sal]

hey guru n divs gr8 job
hey thankz tukz

[tukz]

ur msssssssst welcum

[guru_sal]

One day after work, a blonde walked into a pizza parlor and ordered a small personal pizza.

When it was finished, the waiter asked the blonde if she wanted it cut into four pieces or eight.

The blonde thought a bit and said "Better make it four, I'd never be able to eat eight."



Arrested for laughing! This is from an actual trial in the UK:
A young woman several months pregnant, boarded a bus. She noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her third move he burst out laughing.... ......... .....She had him arrested.

When the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he acted in such a manner. His reply was: "When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She first sat under an advertisement, which read: 'Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins'.
I was even more amused when she changed her seat and went to sit under a shaving advertisement, which read:
'William's Stick Did The Trick'.
Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read:
'Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident.' "
The case was dismissed... ......!!!

[guru_sal]

>>*Kyun cahlti hain pawan,
>>
>> Because of evaporation** .
>>
>> Kyun jhoome hain gagan,
>>
>> **Because of earth's rotation.
>>**
>> Kyun machalta hain mann,
>>
>> **Because of disorder in digestion.
>>**
>> Na Tum Jano Na Hum!!!
>>
>>
>> Kyun gum hain har disha,
>>
>> Because u have poor sense of direction**.
>>
>> Kyun hota hain nasha,
>>
>> **Because of drug addiction.
>>**
>> Kyun aata hain mazaa,
>>
>>** Because u enjoy the situation.
>>**
>> Na Tum Jano Na Hum!!!
>>
>>
>> Kyun aati hain bahar,
>>
>> **Because of change in season.
>>**
>> Kyun lotta hain karar,
>>
>>** Because of taking tension.
>>**
>> Kyun hota hain pyaar,
>>
>> Because of opposite attraction.
>>*
>> *Na Tum Jano Na Hum!!!* *
>>* * **SCIENCE HAS ALL THE SOLUTIONS*....
>>

[guru_sal]

1) What is the difference between women and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.
2) Why do women always have a stupid look on their faces?
Answer: Because they are...
3) What do women have in common with ceramic tiles?
Answer: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.
4) If you drop a women and a brick out of a plane,which one would hit the ground first?
Answer: Who cares?????.. ...
5) What did God say after he created woman?
(This ones THE BEST)
Answer: I can do better than this! And then he created man
6) What's the difference between an intelligent woman & a UFO ?
Answer:I don't know, I've never seen either.
7) What are two reasons why women don't mind their own business?
Answers: i) no mind ii) no business
8) What makes women chase men when they have no intention of marrying?
Answer: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles when they have no intention of driving (The Best in the lot)
9) What do you do with women who think she's God's gift?
Answer:Exchange her!!!.
10) Why do women like smart men?
Answer:Opposites attract

[guru_sal]

Gone are the days
>When the school reopened in June,
>And we settled in our new desks and benches.
> Gone are the days
>When we queued up in book depot,
>And got our new books and notes.
> Gone are the days
>When we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays, yet
>Managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.
> Gone are the days
>When we chased one another in the corridors in Intervals,
>And returned to the classrooms drenched in sweat.
> Gone are the days
>When we had lunch in classrooms, corridors,
>Playgrounds, under the trees and even in cycle sheds.
> Gone are the days
>When a single P.T. period in the week's Time Table, Was awaited more
>eagerly than the monsoons.
> Gone are the days
>Of fights but no conspiracies,
>Of Competitions but seldom jealousy.
> Gone are the days
>When we used to watch Live Cricket telecast,
>In the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks.
> Gone are the days
>When few rushed at 5:30 to
>"Conquer" window seats in our School bus.
> Gone are the days
>Of Sports Day, and the annual School Day,
>And the one-month long preparations for them.
> Gone are the days
>Of the stressful Quarterly, Half Yearly and Annual Exams,
>And the most enjoyed holidays after them.
> Gone are the days
>We learnt, we enjoyed, we played, we won, we lost, We laughed, we
cried,
>we fought, we thought.
> Gone are the days
>With so much fun in them, so many friends,
>So much experience, all this and more.
> Gone are the days
>But not the memories, which will be
>Lingering in our hearts for ever and ever and
>Ever and ever and Ever.
> I hope you went back to your Golden Olden days..........
> For a while..........as I DID!!
>

[guru_sal]

If you are well dressed,
She thinks you are play boy.
If you are not,
She thinks you are a begger.

If you kiss her,
She thinks you r not a gentleman.
If you don't,
She thinks you are not a man.

If you praise her,
She thinks you are a lier.
If u don't she thinks,
You are good for nothing.

If you visit her often,
She thinks u are boring.
If you don't she accuses,
You for double crossing.

If u visit another girl,
She accuses you for being cheat.
If she is visited by another guy,
She says "oh..! its natural! we are girls..!

If you propose love within a brief time ,
You are a freash guy.
If you propose love later ,
She wonders why

If you are jealous,
She says its bad.
If your not she doubts ,
Your love and is not glad.

If you attempt romance,.
She thinks you don't respect her.
If you don't ,
She thinks you don't like her.

If you listen ,
She wants to talk .
If you wanna talk ,
She also wants to talk.

Oh women..! you are soo simple,
Yet soo complex....

You r soo weak,
Yet soo powerful.... .

Your soo confusing ,
Yet soo desirable... ..




run away guyz..

[divyaashimix]

kool ones guru!!!!!!!!!!!

[guru_sal]

How guys select the girl they want to marry.....





A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry.
He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.





The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, purchases new make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man.





She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.





The man is impressed.





The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts.
She gets him a new set of STRONG golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes.As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.





Again, the man is impressed.





The third invests the money in the stock market.
She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account.
She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.





Obviously, the man was impressed.




The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money.




Guess which lady he chose to marry?







Think like a man . . .








(scroll down for the answer )



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* > > > > > > > He married the most beautiful one!!!!!!



> > >



* > > > > > > > Men are Men.... Obviously!!!

[guru_sal]

Answer honestly b4 scrolling down.


Which Haunted room you choose determines your attitude:

One day, you get lost in the wilderness while travelling. It gets dark and
you have no choice but to seek refuge in a small hut nearby. The owner tells
you all his rooms are haunted. Which room will you choose?

(it is going to be very interesting. . ha ha haha) The room where:

Room (A)
A human head stares at you maliciously from outside your window

Room (B)
The bathroom door creaks open and close, and there are sounds of a woman
sighing

Room (C)
The bed starts rocking violently whenever you try to sleep on it

Room (D)
A headless ghost sits at the foot of your bed when you awake in the middle
of the night

MAKE ONE COMFORTABLE CHOICE BEFORE YOU SCROLL DOWN FOR THE EXPLANATION.
IT'S QUITE AN INTERESTING






ANSWER...... ...


Scroll down for explanation





A) A human head stares at you maliciously from outside your window.

Explanation: You need a lot of private space and are more suitable to work
alone. You look for stability i.e. a job that is not easily affected by
external factors and provides steady income.

E.g. Doctor, lawyer, SOHO, teacher, administrator.



B) The bathroom door creaks open and close, and there are sounds of a woman
sighing.

Explanation: You prefer a stable job that does not require you to run around
or meet people. You are willing to be subjected to pressure from your bosses
if that lets you sit in an air-conditioned office all day.

E.g. Civil servant, engineer, computer engineer, accountant.



C) The bed starts rocking violently whenever you try to sleep on it.

Explanation: You are an active person who cannot sit still and does not
like to be restrained. You are easily adaptable to a job which is full of
changes and not routine.

E.g. Marketing, insurance, sales, delivery man,chauffer.


D) A headless ghost sits at the foot of your bed when you awake in the
middle of the night.

Explanation: You suit jobs that need you to meet people, especially large
crowds. Your job will depend on these people, but you will not know
who they are
E.g. superstar, politician, PR, counter/frontline sales.

[tukz]

grrrrrrrr8 job guru

[guru_sal]

grrrrrrrr8 job guru
HEY THANKZ TUKZ

[guru_sal]

kool ones guru!!!!!!!!!!!
HEY THANKZ A LOT

[divyaashimix]

HEY THANKZ A LOT
your welcome!!!

[guru_sal]

hey guyz ab mere paas aur jokes nahi hai .
aur kissi ke paas hai

[divyaashimix]

hey guyz ab mere paas aur jokes nahi hai .
aur kissi ke paas hai
nope...
let it be your department only.....

[tukz]

hey guyz ab mere paas aur jokes nahi hai .
aur kissi ke paas hai
welcum n abhi isi waqt kuch nahi hai

[guru_sal]

sardar wid brain




A Sardar, a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back."

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back."

But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away whimpering loudly.

The Sardar was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," Sardar replied.

"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.

"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.

"And what is your second wish, ?" the Sheik asked.

Sardar smiled and said, "Tie the Pakistani to my back" !!!

[guru_sal]

Classic Definitions & really cool meanings!
>
>Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end &
a
>fool at the other.
>Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are
more
>popular than a five day test.
>
>Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree
and a
>woman gains her master
>Divo rce : Future tense of marriage
>Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the
lecturer
>to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of
either".
>Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number
present.
>Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
>believes he got the biggest piece.
>Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated
by
>feminine water-power ..
>Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
>Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens &
everybody
>disagrees later on.
>Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you
have
>never felt before.
>Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
>Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
>Office :A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
>Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
>Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
actually
>do.
>Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sitto
decide
>that nothing can be done together.
>Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
>Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
>Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of
when
>dead.
>Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you
>actually look forward to the trip.
>Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls
into
>a river.
>Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway
"See
>I am not injured yet."
>Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,
Instead
>of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
>Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
>Father : A banker provided by nature.
>Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got
caught.
>Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
early.
>Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your
Confidence
>after.
>Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his
>bills.
>Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails......!
>

[tukz]

really guru brilliant

[guru_sal]

really guru brilliant
HEY THANKZ TUKZ
BUT AUR KOI DEKHTA HI NAHI

[tukz]

HEY THANKZ TUKZ
BUT AUR KOI DEKHTA HI NAHI
ur msssssssssst welcum n so wat hum dekhte hai na

[divyaashimix]

kool work guru.....

[guru_sal]

ur msssssssssst welcum n so wat hum dekhte hai na
ya isliye to post karta hoon.

[guru_sal]

Heightz in OrKuT


HEIGHTOF ISOLATION:?
Two persons sitting side by side using scraps to communicate with each
other.


HEIGHT OF COWARDICE:?
Two persons fighting through scraps.



HEIGHT OF HELPLESSNESS: ??
Receiving no scraps for a week.



HEIGHT OF FRUSTRATION: ?
The scrap server being down.



HEIGHT OF CARELESSNESS:
Writing a love scrap and doing a 'Send All.



HEIGHT OF ACHIEVEMENT: ?
A person sending scraps to a girl wanting to become friends and getting
a reply.



HEIGHT OF TIMEPASS:?
A person sending scrap to himself.



HEIGTHT OF EXPECTATION: ?
Sending Indian cricket team an e-mail, wishing them to win a match .



HEIGHT OF REPETITION:?
Forwarding an scrap to someone and receiving the same scrap forwarded
back to you By some one in the receiving chain.



HEIGHT OF BROWSING:?
U r swimming in the water tank and shout "F1 F1 F1?" instead of
shouting "HELP" when u are unable to swim

[guru_sal]

A blonde enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman,

"I would like To buy a pair of pink curtains". The salesman assures

her that they have a large election of pink curtains. He shows her

several patterns, but the blonde seems to be having a hard time

choosing. Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print. The

salesman then asks what size curtains she needs. The blonde promptly

replies, "fifteen inches" "Fifteen inches???" asked the salesman. "That

sounds very small, what room are they for?" The blonde tells him that

they aren't for a room; they are for her computer monitor. The

surprised salesman replies, "but Miss, computers do not need curtains!"



The blonde says, "Hellllooooooooo ............ . I've got Windoooooows! "

[divyaashimix]

hey guru.........
fabulous work...
hey friends...
can NE body please tell me some sites from where I can download mp3 songs of movies and albums...
please !!!!!!!
Its very urgent........:o :o :o :o

[animateash]

cool oens guiru

[animateash]

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.

So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to china.

On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10,000 per call".

The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.

The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.

The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in japan. There, at a very large
cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it.

He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in china and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.

She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.

" O.K., thank you," said the American.

He then traveled to pakistan , srilanka, russia , Germany and France .

In every church he saw the same golden telephone
with the same "$10,000 per call" sign under it.
The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to up to India to see if Indians had the same phone.

He arrived in India , and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read "One Rupee per call."

The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. "Father, I've traveled all over World and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in the US the price was $10,000 per call.

Why is it so cheap here?"

The priest smiled and answered, "You're in India now, son - it's a local call".

[divyaashimix]

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.

So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to china.

On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10,000 per call".

The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.

The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.

The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in japan. There, at a very large
cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it.

He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in china and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.

She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.

" O.K., thank you," said the American.

He then traveled to pakistan , srilanka, russia , Germany and France .

In every church he saw the same golden telephone
with the same "$10,000 per call" sign under it.
The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to up to India to see if Indians had the same phone.

He arrived in India , and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read "One Rupee per call."

The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. "Father, I've traveled all over World and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in the US the price was $10,000 per call.

Why is it so cheap here?"

The priest smiled and answered, "You're in India now, son - it's a local call".
hey bhaggu !!!!!!!!
its amazing !!!!!!:)

[guru_sal]

hey guru.........
fabulous work...
hey friends...
can NE body please tell me some sites from where I can download mp3 songs of movies and albums...
please !!!!!!!
Its very urgent........:o :o :o :o
thankz a lot
and sites r
apniisp.com
cooltoad.com

[divyaashimix]

thankz a lot
and sites r
apniisp.com
cooltoad.com
hey bhaggu !!!!!!
download kaise karo??????????????

[animateash]

hey bhaggu !!!!!!!!
its amazing !!!!!!:)
thnx a a lottttt

[guru_sal]

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.

So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to china.

On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10,000 per call".

The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.

The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.

The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in japan. There, at a very large
cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it.

He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in china and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.

She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.

" O.K., thank you," said the American.

He then traveled to pakistan , srilanka, russia , Germany and France .

In every church he saw the same golden telephone
with the same "$10,000 per call" sign under it.
The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to up to India to see if Indians had the same phone.

He arrived in India , and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read "One Rupee per call."

The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. "Father, I've traveled all over World and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in the US the price was $10,000 per call.

Why is it so cheap here?"

The priest smiled and answered, "You're in India now, son - it's a local call".
SORRY ASH FOR REPLYING LATE .
AFTER A LONG TIME NICE ONE .
GUD YAAR .AISE HI KIYA KARO

[guru_sal]

Love and deep devotion
connected heart to heart
trust and understanding
secure from very start

Smiles are shared together
as are the salty tears
bonds that keep on growing
stronger through the years

Tender hugs and kisses
when everything seems wrong
caring when we stumble
helping us along

When life is full of heartache
days seem dark and gray
giving hope and promise
friends will light the way

Through storms and cloudy weather
dawn or setting sun
friends will stand beside us
side by side, as one

Sharing tears and laughter
inner thoughts and dreams
acceptance without judgment
building self-esteem

When life has formed big puddles
your world comes tumbling down
reaching out with kindness
they'll always stick around

Friends are special people
they give us wings to fly
soft kisses from the Angel's
blown down from the sky

[guru_sal]

Hi,9 ways to live life

Truly said....

1 - Live to relax!


2 - Love your bed, it is your temple!
e
3 - Relax in the day, so that you can sleep at night!

4 - Work is holy, so don't attack it!

5 - Don't do something tomorrow, that you can do the day afterwards!

6 - Work as little as possible. Let the others do what needs to be done!

7 - Don't worry, nobody died from doing nothing, but you could get hurt at work!

8 - If you feel like doing work, sit down and wait until that feeling goes away!

9 - Don't forget: working is healthy! So leave it for the sick
people!

[guru_sal]

|
Sardarji is in a Quiz Contest trying to win prize money of Rs.1 crore.

The questions are as follows:

1) How long was the 100 yr war?
A) 116
B) 99
C) 100
D) 150
Sardar says "I will skip this"

2) In which country are the Panama hats made?
A) BRASIL
B) CHILE
C) PANAMA
D) EQUADOR
Sardar asks for help from the University students

3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
A) JANUARY
B) SEPTEMBER
C) OCTOBER
D) NOVEMBER
Sardar asks for help from general public

4) Which of these was King George VI first name?
A) EDER
B) ALBERT
C) GEORGE
D) MANOEL
Sardar asks for lucky cards

5) The Canary islands , in the Pacific Ocean , has its name based on
which animal:
A) CANARY BIRD
B) KANGAROO
C) PUPPY
D) RAT
Sardar gives up.
>
>
SCROLL DOWN.......
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at Sardar's replies, then
please check the answers below:

1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453

2) The Panama hat is made in Equador

3) The October revolution is celebrated in November
4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name.

5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which means islands of the
puppies.
Now tell me who's the dumb one....Don't ever laugh at a Sardar again

On behalf of,
Manmohan Singh, PM, India
think about youself how deep water in you are.......:) :)

[divyaashimix]

|
Sardarji is in a Quiz Contest trying to win prize money of Rs.1 crore.

The questions are as follows:

1) How long was the 100 yr war?
A) 116
B) 99
C) 100
D) 150
Sardar says "I will skip this"

2) In which country are the Panama hats made?
A) BRASIL
B) CHILE
C) PANAMA
D) EQUADOR
Sardar asks for help from the University students

3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
A) JANUARY
B) SEPTEMBER
C) OCTOBER
D) NOVEMBER
Sardar asks for help from general public

4) Which of these was King George VI first name?
A) EDER
B) ALBERT
C) GEORGE
D) MANOEL
Sardar asks for lucky cards

5) The Canary islands , in the Pacific Ocean , has its name based on
which animal:
A) CANARY BIRD
B) KANGAROO
C) PUPPY
D) RAT
Sardar gives up.
>
>
SCROLL DOWN.......
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at Sardar's replies, then
please check the answers below:

1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453

2) The Panama hat is made in Equador

3) The October revolution is celebrated in November
4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name.

5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which means islands of the
puppies.
Now tell me who's the dumb one....Don't ever laugh at a Sardar again

On behalf of,
Manmohan Singh, PM, India
think about youself how deep water in you are.......:) :)






kool ones guru......
but you know what?????
I had already got this in a mail so I was able to answer all the questions correctly man......:D :D

[guru_sal]

kool ones guru......
but you know what?????
I had already got this in a mail so I was able to answer all the questions correctly man......:D :D
hey divu gud .
and thankz

[guru_sal]

Lady : Is this my train?

Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.

Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.

Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.




Zakhm itne gehre hai Izhar kya kare,
Hum Khud nishana ban gaye vaar kya kare,
Mar gaye hum magar khuli hai aankhen,
Is se zyada ab unka intzar kya kare .....

[guru_sal]

Phool khilte rahein zindgi ki raah mein
hassi chamakti rahe aapki nigaah mein

kadam kadam par mile khushi ki bhaar aapko
dil deta hai yehi dua baar-baar aapko




Nazre na hoti to nazara na hota,

duniya main hasino ka guzara na hota,

hamse yeh mat kaho ke dil lagana chhod de,

jaake khuda se kaho hasino ko banana chhod de





Heart is like a crystal preserve it,
love is like a perfume spread it,

feelings are like flood flow it,
friendship is like umbrella come lets share it





Kafi hai husn dil ko behlane ke liye,
mohabbat karlo dil ko dukhane ke liye,

chahe bhale pade gam se vasta,
ek hum jaisa dost rakhna sab gamo ko bhulane ke liye








When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God
that everyone should have a friend like you....
Why should only i suffer!!!




Anjane me hum apna dil gawa baithe

is pyar me kaisa dhoka kar baithe

unse kya gila kare

bhool hamari hi hai

jo bina dil walon se dil laga baithe

[tukz]

arrey mindblasting work.............waaaaaaaaaaah

[guru_sal]

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Su re, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born

Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.

Customer: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.

1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions

Man before Marriage Is
like Airtel...."Aisi Azaadi Aur Kahaan"
After Marriage He's Like Hutch... "
Where U Go Our Network Follows."

They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love;

after marriage it is self-defense

It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women..and then he turns them into Wives !?!!!?!

Mayawati came to Lalu's House with a Goat.....
Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyun Layi ho....??
Maya : Dikhta nahi, Goatwa hai..??
Lalu : Hum Goatwa se hi Puch raha Hun..!!

What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a
positive side!

It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered

A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE..
A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!

[guru_sal]

arrey mindblasting work.............waaaaaaaaaaah
THANKZ TUKZ
AND YA UPAR EK AUR HAAI

[guru_sal]

48 Ways to Kiss



- 1 - ICE KISS

Celebrate the first day of winter with an ice kiss. Put an ice cube in your mouth until your mouth becomes cold. Remove the cube, track down your love and plant a kiss that will send chills!

- 2 - ELECTRIC SHOCK KISS

The two of you shuffle your feet furiously on carpet. When you both have an electric charge, lean over and slowly aim for each other's lips. With your lips about one-half inch apart, move in even slower until a spark jumps between the two of you. Instantly after this happens, kiss one another...the please us the kiss right after the shock!

- 3 - CAMPING KISS

On a beautiful cool night, you and your love crawl into a sleeping bag outside. Cuddle and kiss.

- 4 - REWARD KISS

Next time your love performs some disliked home chore like cleaning the bathroom, mowing the lawn, or taking out the garbage, show your appreciation by tucking a candy kiss in a strategic location.

- 5 - POST-IT KISS

Use 3M Post-It notes to make a trail through your house that leads to your lips. Put a lipstick print or lip symbol on each note with an arrow pointing to the next note. You, of course, are at the end of the trail with a Post-It note over your lips that says, "LIFT FOR KISS"

- 6 - KISSING IN THE RAIN

The next time it rains, grab an umbrella, rain coats, and your love. Then go outside and kiss in the rain. If the spirit of the kiss moves you, remove the umbrella and kiss 'till the two of you are soaked.

- 7 - HERSHEY`S KISSES

Prepare a small bag of Hershey`s kisses and slip it into your love's purse, briefcase, or lunchbox. Attach a note that reads "SORRY, I CAN'T BE THERE IN PERSON, BUT THINK OF ME AND DO THE FOLLOWING: Close your eyes and place the candy between your lips. Drop the candy in your mouth and roll it on your tongue until it melts.

- 8 - TRACY AND HEPBURN KISS

Make flash cards, and the two of you re-enact the following kissing scene from WOMAN OF THE YEAR

(1942): (Reclining face to face on a couch, woman on top.) SAM: Something I've got to get off my chest.

TESS: I'm too heavy?
SAM: I love you.
TESS: Me, too.
SAM: Positive.
TESS: That's nice. Even when I'm sober?
SAM: Even when you're brilliant. (The two of you kiss.)

- 9 - KISSES IN A BALLOON

Cut out small red tissue lips, and place them inside an opaque balloon filled with helium (any party store could do this for you) Tie the balloon to your love's chair at dinner. Desert is a shower of kisses delivered by a sharp pin.

- 10 - TOLL KISS

Next time you are driving your love somewhere, stop the car before crossing a bridge or going through a tunnel, and say the toll must be paid before you can go any further. Of course, the toll cost in one kiss.

- 11 - MORSE CODE KISS
I
f you know Morse code, great, If not, this is a great way to learn. Find a Morse Code chart. Using long and short kisses, spell out a message to your love and have him or her try to decipher them.

- 12 - KISSING METER KISSES

We have parking meters, so why not kissing meters? Turn a box into your own kissing meter and wear it around your neck. Give your love kissing tokens to start your kissing meter. Have an "expired" sign appear when you need another kiss.

- 13 - AUDIO STIMULATION

Make a cassette of kissing noises and place in your love's cassette player (walkman, car or home) with a note attached.

- 14 - BREAKFAST IN BED KISS

Slip out of bed early and prepare a special "Kissing" breakfast to serve to your love in bed. Pick foods that you can easily pick up and feed to your love. Kiss between bites!

- 15 - STAIRWELL KISS

This kiss is to be done at a party or at a gathering with your love. Steal away to a private location like behind a door or tree, or on the stairwell and passionately kiss each other. The risk of being discovered in the act is the key element.

- 16 - SCUBA KISSING

Wearing a diving mask and fins, simulate swimming underwater. Snorkel across the room to your love and kiss him or her.


- 17 - EYE TEST KISS

Make an eye chart like the ones that you see in a doctor's office where the letters get progressively smaller. Have the chart read, "IF you can read this you are standing close enough to kiss me." Now find your love and give an eye exam.

- 18 - THYMELY KISS

Thyme, according to the Greeks, is the herb which makes one irresistible kissable. Prepare a meal for your love using the herb. Moments after the first bite, rush to your love's lips with a passionate kiss. Come up for air, announce the Greeks were right, then rush back with another passionate kiss.

- 19 - SHOPPING LIST KISSES

Turn your shopping list into a scorecard the next time the two of you go shopping. The one who finds the item gets credit toward one kiss. Kisses are collected either on delivery to the grocery cart, or later at home.

- 20 - BAD HABIT KISS

Offer to stop a bad habit if your love will pay you kisses. For instance, a kiss for each cigarette not smoked, putting the toilet seat down, and/or every phone call kept under three minutes is rewarded with a kiss.

- 21 - CLOUD SHAPE KISS

Take your love to the backyard or out in a field: lie down on a blanket, and together inspect cloud formations. When both of you see the same thing, reward each other with a kiss.

- 22 - CHECK KISS

With your personal check, make a check out to your love for 1,000 kisses. Tell your love he or she can cash it in any time.

- 23 - TOE KISS

Prepare a foot bath for your love at the end of a long day. After the good soak, you towel dry his or her feet, give a massage and seal each toe with a kiss.

- 24 - CHOCOLATE HEART KISSES

Buy several boxes of little chocolate hearts that have sayings on them. Pick out all the "KISS ME" hearts and put them in a heart shaped box with the note "REDEEMABLE ANYTIME, day or night!"

- 25 - RENDEZVOUS KISS

With a note or phone call, tell your love to meet you at a certain place and time (e.g. park bench, street corner, ice cream stand) for a present. When your love arrives, have a bow stick to your lips.

- 26 - BATH KISS

Surprise your love with a kiss while he/she is showering or in the tub. (WARNING: Prepare to get wet)

- 27 - MACHINE GUN KISS

In rapid succession, plant 12 quick ones on your lover's lips.

- 28 - KISS-A-THON

Passionately kiss your love for at least five minute longer than usual.

- 29 - PINK PANTHER KISS

Humming the Pink Panther theme, prowl toward your partner. On the high note, pounce and pucker. Suggestion-wear only pink!

- 30 - THIRST QUENCHER KISS

For no reason, stare at your love's mouth while licking your lips as though dying of thirst. Inevitably, your love will ask what you're doing. ANSWER: I want them! I have to have them! I yearn to drink from them! Then ask for a kiss to quench your thirst!

- 31 - GREAT EXPECTATIONS KISS

Inform your love one morning that he or she will soon receive a fabulous kiss. Later, call you love with a reminder. When next you see your love, pull out the stops and plant a long, hot, passionate kiss.

- 32 - GOODBYE * 2 KISS

Send off your love in the morning with a quick kiss. As your love turns to leave, pull him or her back for a second, more passionate kiss



- 33 - RIDDLE KISS

Ask you love to solve the following riddle:
I am just two and two
I am warm, I am cold,
I am lawful, unlawful
A duty, a fault
I am often sold dear,
Good for nothing when bought;
an extraordinary boon,
and a matter of course,
and yielding with pleasure
When taken by force.
If your love solves it, ask for a demonstration as proof. If he or she cannot show the answer, of course, the answer is a kiss.

- 34 - KISS MANDATE

Command your love to kiss you. Elaborate on the technique you expect (e.g. long and wet, or the way Rhett kissed Scarlett) and where and when you will get it.

- 35 - UNEXPECTED KISS

When the two of you are doing the usual, lean over and give your love a sweet kiss on the cheek for no good reason and whisper...I LOVE YOU!

- 36 - POST OFFICE KISS

Notify your love you have personal mail to deliver. Pull your love into the nearest dark closet; close the door and play POST OFFICE: No instructions included!

- 37 - KNOCK-KNOCK KISS

Stage the following knock-knock joke with your love:
KNOCK KNOCK
Who is there?
Kiss
Kiss who?
Kiss who? Why me, of course!

- 38 - BEGGAR`S KISS

That's right, on your knees with your hands clasped, plead for any kiss you love is humbly willing to give you!

- 39 - TOOTHPASTE KISS

Brush your teeth together. When your love's mouth is all sudsy, plant a big wet one on the lips. WARNING: MAKE SURE TOOTHBRUSHES ARE OUT OF THE WAY!

- 40 - PALM KISS
Holding your love's chin with your palm, smile and deliver a sweet kiss to his or her lips!

- 41 - 30 KISSES
Inform your love that in honor of the 30th of the month, you will kiss him or her 30 times during the day!

- 42 - CAT KISS
Rub against your love's legs while meowing and purring. Now that you have your love's attention, touch noses. Playfully paw your love while moving in for a kiss.

- 43 - EYELID KISS
While kissing your love, watch for his or her eyes to close. Sweetly place a light kiss on each eyelid. Note: Be careful!

- 44 - EAR KISS

Whisper to your love how special he or she is to you, and then seal your message with an ear kiss!

- 45 - VALENTINE KISS

Celebrate Valentine's Day with kisses in the shape of a "V" on the face of your lover.

- 46 - FOOTBALL KISS

After a pass during a football game, kiss your love.

- 47 - SLEEPING BEAUTY KISS

Awaken your love from slumber with a tender kiss on the lips!

- 48 - No-Cal Kiss

After dinner, give your love a no-calorie desert...your lips.

[tukz]

dat was really nice guru

[tukz]

A lady walked into a drugstore and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide.

The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady then explained that she needed it to poison her husband.

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said,

"Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband!

That's against the law! They'll throw both of us in jail and I'll lose my license."

Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband

in bed with the pharmacist's wife, and handed it to the pharmacist.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied,

"Well now, you didn't tell me you had a prescription."

Joke 2

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates.

She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her "Hello - How are you! We've been waiting for you! Good to see you."

When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?" "You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.

"Which word?" the woman asked.

"Love."

The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.

While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived. "I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"

"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.

"Which word?" her husband asked.

"Czechoslovakia."

Moral of the story: Never make a woman angry... There will be Hell to pay later!

Joke 3

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents.

Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.

The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.

The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated.

The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

Joke 4

A kid was taking a shower with his mom and asks, "What are those things on your chest?" Not wanting to answer she changed the subject.

The next day the boy went up to his dad and asked "What are those things on Mommy's chest?" he replied "They are balloons so when Mommy dies they will inflate and she will float to heaven.

A couple weeks later the father comes home early and his son runs out and says "Daddy, Daddy, Mom is dying" the father ask "what are you talking about?"

"Well, Uncle Harry is blowing up her balloons and she's yelling
'Oh God I'm coming'"

[tukz]

1. sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai"
Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "


2. Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have color TVs?"
Sure." "Give me a green one, please."


3. Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job.
He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column "Salary Expected"
He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After
much thought he wrote : Yes


4. Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him.
Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon
leke baithe ho?"

Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"


5. Santa meets Banta

Santa: "so have you moved to a new house"
Banta: "No."
Santa: "Why not? You advertised to sell your old house, didn't u?"
Banta: "Yes, but when I read the ad, I realized it was just the
home I was looking for!".


6. Sardarjee to Sunita: "I want to marry you"

Sunita: "But I am one year elder to you."

Sardarjee: "No Problem, then I will marry you next year."


7. Once upon a time, a Sardarji saw a boy who wore his cap in the back direction.
This event really harrased the social nature of sardarji and
then he also decided to wear his pagari in the backward direction.
While he was on his way to his office another Sardar saw him and asked "Sardar ji aa rahe ho ke jaa rahe ho"


8. Sardarji: We have to learn Telugu within 6 months or we will not
be able to communicate with my child.

Friend: Is it! Why? Sardarji: We have adopted a telugu child and
it will start to speak after 6 months.


9. Once a Sardarji was going to his office.
On the way he slipped on a banana peel and was badly hurt.
Next day , on his way to the office, he noticed a banana peel
and Later after two days, he noticed two banana peels and
exclaimed" ari sala, aaj to choice hai"!!!!!!


10. So this sardarji is walking the other day and comes across a banana peel on the road.
Can you guess what he might be thinking?? Saala aaj bhi girna padega!!!

THANKS

[tukz]

The Great Laughter SMS

1)shadi hoti hai. Asli life me shadi k bad bahut mushkil hoti hai.


2) It was Santa's weding aniversary.Preeto :Shall v hav Tandoori chicken to
celebrate? Santa:y punish da poor chicken for da mistake v hav made




3) Fizao me tum ho Hawao me tum ho Baharo me tum ho Dhoop me tum ho chhaon me
tum ho.Sach hi suna tha.buri aatma ka koi thikana nahi hota...

4) U'r very special for me. I'm very concerned about u'r safety. But I can't be
with u always. So please, Take Care of yourself when u jump from 1 tree 2 anothe
r!

5) Definition of a Nurse
" a young and beautiful woman who fingers you in all places n holds
your hand and then expects your pulse to be normal...!

6)
To,
The A.C.P,
Police station

Respected Sir,
As my friend forgot to SMS me,I kindly request u to take action against him &
encounter His USELESS mobile !


7) Jab hum roya karenge teri yaden dhoya karenge,Jab hum pia karenge tujhe yaad
kia karenge,Agar hum mar bhi gaye to kya hoga,YAMRAJ ke mobile se SMS kia kareng
e

8) Bhagwan ke bina mandir adhoora hai, dosti ke bina jeevan adhoora hai,patni ke
bina ghar adhoora hai,AUR AAPKE BINA CIRCUS ADHOORA HAI.

9) Yeh kis tarah yaad aa rahe ho,
Aankhen band hai phir bhi nazar aa rahe ho,
Na jane kyon aisa lagta hai jaise saamne khade ho aur POONCHH HILAA rahe
ho...!!!


10)
Aankho me "SHARAFAT" Chaal me "NAJAKAT" Dil me "SACHCHAI" aur Chehre
me "SAFAI" phir kyon na bole her LADKI apko "BHAI".

Birds love you, monkeys love you, hippos love you, snakes love you, tortoise love you, giraffe loves you..... Please go back to ZOO, they all really miss U!

Ur smile can be compared with Flowers, Ur voice can b compared with a cuckoo, Ur innocence can b compared with a baby, but in foolishness... You've got no comparisons !

Airhostes to Laloo : R U a vegetarian or non vegetarian Sir ? Laloo : I m a Saggitarian! Airhostes : Sir aap mansahari hain ya shakahari? Laloo : Hum BIHARI hain...!

God saw u hungry, he created Domino's pizza. He saw u thirsty, he created Pepsi. He saw u in dark, he created light. He saw ME without problems, he created YOU !

5 gr8 ppl: 1. Gandhiji-Woh to ab rahe nahin 2. Bajpai-Woh kisi kaam ke nahin 3. Aishwarya-apni pahoonch ke bahar hai. Baki rahe aap aur hum, so remain in touch.

Bhagwan se Scooter manga.. Car di; Ghar manga.. bangla diya; dost manga toh tumhey diya.. Bhagwan ne isbar aisa zulm kyoun kiya

When I C the moon I C U, When I C the stars I C U, when I C the Sea I C U, get out of the way you are blocking my view.
Tusi bade gr8 ho, rsgule di pl8 ho, cok di cr8 ho, ande da oml8 ho, sms krne me bde la8 ho, jlebi di tra str8 ho. Par jo bhi ho, tusi mere fav8 ho

Life without u is impossible. U r in my blood. Cannot stay for a sec without u. If there u aren't, I'm dead. Excuse me, I'm talking of oxygen.

U r the one whose so smart,U r the one whose so charming, U r the one whose so caring, U r the one whose so good looking. And, I'm the one who is spreading these rumors.

I need you... I love you... I can't go anywhere without you... Oh my lovely... SHOES !

Sincere Apology : If u dont like any of my SMS n dont like 2 read, then plz dont hesitate, feel free to..... Throw ur mobile.

Jise dil diya woh dilli chali gayi, jise pyaar kiya woh Italy chali gayi. Khudkhushi karne chala, Zalim bijali ko haath lagaya, Bijali hi chali gayi.

What is true friendship ? U cry & I cry. U sad, I sad, U laughing, I laughing, U jump out of window... I look down... I am still laughing !

Your network tariff has changed. Call charges are now calculated according to brain size. The smaller the cheaper........ You can make free calls!

[animateash]

tukz guru cool oensss

[guru_sal]

The Great Laughter SMS

1)shadi hoti hai. Asli life me shadi k bad bahut mushkil hoti hai.


2) It was Santa's weding aniversary.Preeto :Shall v hav Tandoori chicken to
celebrate? Santa:y punish da poor chicken for da mistake v hav made




3) Fizao me tum ho Hawao me tum ho Baharo me tum ho Dhoop me tum ho chhaon me
tum ho.Sach hi suna tha.buri aatma ka koi thikana nahi hota...

4) U'r very special for me. I'm very concerned about u'r safety. But I can't be
with u always. So please, Take Care of yourself when u jump from 1 tree 2 anothe
r!

5) Definition of a Nurse
" a young and beautiful woman who fingers you in all places n holds
your hand and then expects your pulse to be normal...!

6)
To,
The A.C.P,
Police station

Respected Sir,
As my friend forgot to SMS me,I kindly request u to take action against him &
encounter His USELESS mobile !


7) Jab hum roya karenge teri yaden dhoya karenge,Jab hum pia karenge tujhe yaad
kia karenge,Agar hum mar bhi gaye to kya hoga,YAMRAJ ke mobile se SMS kia kareng
e

8) Bhagwan ke bina mandir adhoora hai, dosti ke bina jeevan adhoora hai,patni ke
bina ghar adhoora hai,AUR AAPKE BINA CIRCUS ADHOORA HAI.

9) Yeh kis tarah yaad aa rahe ho,
Aankhen band hai phir bhi nazar aa rahe ho,
Na jane kyon aisa lagta hai jaise saamne khade ho aur POONCHH HILAA rahe
ho...!!!


10)
Aankho me "SHARAFAT" Chaal me "NAJAKAT" Dil me "SACHCHAI" aur Chehre
me "SAFAI" phir kyon na bole her LADKI apko "BHAI".

Birds love you, monkeys love you, hippos love you, snakes love you, tortoise love you, giraffe loves you..... Please go back to ZOO, they all really miss U!

Ur smile can be compared with Flowers, Ur voice can b compared with a cuckoo, Ur innocence can b compared with a baby, but in foolishness... You've got no comparisons !

Airhostes to Laloo : R U a vegetarian or non vegetarian Sir ? Laloo : I m a Saggitarian! Airhostes : Sir aap mansahari hain ya shakahari? Laloo : Hum BIHARI hain...!

God saw u hungry, he created Domino's pizza. He saw u thirsty, he created Pepsi. He saw u in dark, he created light. He saw ME without problems, he created YOU !

5 gr8 ppl: 1. Gandhiji-Woh to ab rahe nahin 2. Bajpai-Woh kisi kaam ke nahin 3. Aishwarya-apni pahoonch ke bahar hai. Baki rahe aap aur hum, so remain in touch.

Bhagwan se Scooter manga.. Car di; Ghar manga.. bangla diya; dost manga toh tumhey diya.. Bhagwan ne isbar aisa zulm kyoun kiya

When I C the moon I C U, When I C the stars I C U, when I C the Sea I C U, get out of the way you are blocking my view.
Tusi bade gr8 ho, rsgule di pl8 ho, cok di cr8 ho, ande da oml8 ho, sms krne me bde la8 ho, jlebi di tra str8 ho. Par jo bhi ho, tusi mere fav8 ho

Life without u is impossible. U r in my blood. Cannot stay for a sec without u. If there u aren't, I'm dead. Excuse me, I'm talking of oxygen.

U r the one whose so smart,U r the one whose so charming, U r the one whose so caring, U r the one whose so good looking. And, I'm the one who is spreading these rumors.

I need you... I love you... I can't go anywhere without you... Oh my lovely... SHOES !

Sincere Apology : If u dont like any of my SMS n dont like 2 read, then plz dont hesitate, feel free to..... Throw ur mobile.

Jise dil diya woh dilli chali gayi, jise pyaar kiya woh Italy chali gayi. Khudkhushi karne chala, Zalim bijali ko haath lagaya, Bijali hi chali gayi.

What is true friendship ? U cry & I cry. U sad, I sad, U laughing, I laughing, U jump out of window... I look down... I am still laughing !

Your network tariff has changed. Call charges are now calculated according to brain size. The smaller the cheaper........ You can make free calls!
hey tukz gr8 .
all were gud

[guru_sal]

Dear friend,

Please follow the below article and one will realize about passion for cricket in india …………………..



The Judge asks the little girl:

Now that your parents are getting divorced do you want to live with your mummy?

Girl - No, my mummy beats me.

Judge - Well then, I guess you want to live with your daddy.

Girl- No, my daddy beats me too.

Judge - Well then, who do you want to live with?

Girl - I want to live with the Indian Cricket team, they never beat anybody !!!

[guru_sal]

Bush, Manmohan, Aishwarya Rai and Sonia are traveling in a train. The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.

Suddenly, there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel.

The women and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed.

Bush is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap.

All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Sonia is thinking:

These Americans are all crazy after Aishwarya. Bush must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.

Aishwarya is thinking:

Bush must have tried to kiss me but kissed Sonia instead and got slapped.

Bush is thinking:

Damn it. Manmohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya. She might have thought it was me and slapped me.

Manmohan is thinking:

If this train goes through another tunnel, I will make another kissing sound and slap Bush again.

[guru_sal]

HOW DO U KNOW IF IT IS TRUE LOVE?


Ur HEART beats faster when U hear O their name.
u behave different with them G then the rest of the world
They R the only G that U want 2 be with.
No G else is even worth looking at..
U would walk B miles N the ]snow just 2 C them
U will do everything N UR power to make them HaPpY
When some1 asks for Ur No#, Usay " U can (call ( my friend kget it from them.
When every romantic thing makes U think of them.
When U :: CrY:: when you won't C each other 4 a whil.
U go 2 zZzZzZzZzZz sleepThinking about them.
Uwake UP thinking about them
U want 2 spend every 6 moment with them
U don't mind if all they want 2 do is cuddle
Silence doesn't bother U
They R not only UR Y lover, but also Ur best friend
U can tell them anything
U can go 2 the movies k actually WATCH the movie, they R always there 4 U.
They R there when times R rough
When U say, "I LOVE YOU " k mean it.

NOW SCROLL H k MAKE A WISH ABOUT SOMEONE U LOVE !!!!!






THOUGHT OF G ??????









U'D BETTER HAVE IT!!!!!!







i i i i i
i STOP! i
i i i i i

NOW @LL U HAVE 2 DO IS . SEND THIS 2 ()PEOPLE k UR
WISH WILL COME a TRUE a



IF U DON'T..THEN UR LOVE 'LL START 2 HATE U... k

THAT WOULD BE A VERY L BAD L THING

[guru_sal]

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o164/guru_saluja/4316015_ssaudi_r8_2-1.jpg

[guru_sal]

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o164/guru_saluja/4316015_ssaudi_r8_2.jpg

[guru_sal]

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o164/guru_saluja/bewareofdog.jpg

[guru_sal]

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o164/guru_saluja/1160487343062.jpg

[guru_sal]

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o164/guru_saluja/4.jpg

[divyaashimix]

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o164/guru_saluja/1160487343062.jpg
hey kool piks guru.....:)

[guru_sal]

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o164/guru_saluja/3.jpg

[guru_sal]

hey kool piks guru.....:)
thankz divu

[divyaashimix]

thankz divu
hey...
your welcome.....

[guru_sal]

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o164/guru_saluja/boxedup.jpghttp://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o164/guru_saluja/cathi.jpg

[guru_sal]

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o164/guru_saluja/christmaskittens.jpg

[guru_sal]

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o164/guru_saluja/dogslove.jpg

[guru_sal]

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o164/guru_saluja/firstkiss.jpg

[guru_sal]

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o164/guru_saluja/Gizmo.jpg

[divyaashimix]

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o164/guru_saluja/Gizmo.jpg
hey guru...
its very cute....:)

[guru_sal]

hey guru...
its very cute....:)
thankz divu ,
dere r so many pics.

[guru_sal]

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o164/guru_saluja/height_of_relaxation.jpg

[guru_sal]

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o164/guru_saluja/monkey_bu.jpg

[guru_sal]

INDIA IN 2020 , BANGALORE

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o164/guru_saluja/ShowLetter.jpg

[guru_sal]

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o164/guru_saluja/2.jpg

[guru_sal]

AND LAST ONE

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o164/guru_saluja/3-1.jpg

[guru_sal]

Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
~~~~~~
Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting,
"Daddy!Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.
"Come in to the living room and tell me about it."
"Well, "began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and 20 in science."
~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter:Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.
~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter:That' s all right sir, he won't drink much.
~~~~~~
Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
~~~~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter: So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
~~~~~~~
Customer :Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter :I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.
~~~~~~~
1st thief :Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief:But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief :Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.
~~~~~~~~
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born.
~~~~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter: Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?
~~~~~~~
Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.
~~~~~~~
An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
'How long has what been going on?' said the man.
~~~~~~~
Girl : Do you love me?
Boy:Yes Dear.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy :No, mine is undying love.
~~~~~~~~
There was a brilliant student and his General Knowledge (*GK*) was excellent.
He won every GK Quiz he took part in ....
Then one day he fell in love with a girl...
He proposed the girl, but she flatly rejected him The poor Indian fellow was heart-broken. .
Strangely, after this episode, he became very weak at GK, he stopped taking part in GK Quizzes.....
Now, can u tell WHY ???
Jab Dil Hi Toot Gaya Toh GK Kya Karenge!!
~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband:Sure, what are my choices?
Wife :Yes and no.
A drunkard was brought to court.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."
~~~~~~~
Customer :Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter :Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.
~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter:Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer:No, I can't.
Waiter:Then does it really matter?
~~~~~~

[guru_sal]

A PHILOSOPHY TEST

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.

The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on top of his desk and wrote on the board:

"Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion.

Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair.

One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an "A" when he had barely written anything at all.

His answer consisted of two words:

"What chair?"

[guru_sal]

A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace the aging
doctor there. The older doctor suggested that the younger doctor
accompany him as he made his house calls so that the people of the
community could become accustomed to him.
At the first house they visited, the younger doctor listened intently as
the older doctor and an older lady discussed the weather, their
grandchildren and the latest church bulletin.
After some time, the older doctor asked his patient how she had been
feeling.
"I`ve been a little sick to my stomach," she replied.
"Well," said the older physician, "you`ve probably been over doing it a
bit with the fresh fruit. Why don`t you cut back on the amount of fresh
fruit you eat and see if that helps."
As they left the house, the younger doctor asked how the older doctor
had reached his diagnosis so quickly.
"You didn`t even examine that woman," the younger doctor stated.
"I didn`t have to," the elder physician explain. "You noticed I dropped
my stethoscope on the floor in there. Well when I bent over to pick it
up, I looked around and noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash
can. That is probably what has been making her ill."
"That`s pretty sneaky," commented the younger doctor. "Do you mind if I
try it at the next house?"
"I don`t suppose it could hurt anything," the elder physician replied.
At the next house, the two doctors visited with an elderly widow. They
spent several minutes discussing the weather and grandchildren and the
latest church bulletin. After several minutes, the younger doctor asked
the widow how she had been feeling lately.
"I`ve felt terribly run down lately," the widow replied. "I just don`t
have as much energy as I used to."
"You`ve probably been doing too much work for the church,"
the younger doctor suggested without even examining his patient.
"Perhaps you should ease up a bit and see if that helps."
As they left, the elder physician said, "Your diagnosis is probably
right, but do you mind telling me how you came to that conclusion?"
"Sure," replied the younger doctor. "Just like you, I dropped my
stethoscope on the floor. When I bent down to pick it up, I looked
around and there was the preacher hiding under the bed!"

[guru_sal]

~~~~ SMS COLLECTIONS ~~~~~

U may b out of my sight but not out of my heart. U may b out of my reach but not out of my mind. I don't know what I mean 2 u, but u'll always be special 2 me.
* * * * * * * * * *

• Sharp is ur memory, sweet is ur name, deep in my heart u'll always remain. Earth wants water, flower wants dew, I want nothing but a smile from u.
* * * * * * * * * *

• Too many stars in the sky, too many tears that have left my eyes. Too many girls out in the blue, but they are nothing compared to you!
* * * * * * * * * *

• I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
* * * * * * * * * *

• Those who can't have u hate u, those who have u can't handle u, those who abuse u lose u, & then there are those like me who just can't refuse u!
* * * * * * * * * *

• Even if I had 1 wish... I wouldn't wish for u to love me, coz I don't want your love to come from a wish... but straight from your heart.
* * * * * * * * * *

• The sky without stars is like sleep without dreams, like a song without music, like a rose without smell, like a face without smile, like ME without U!
* * * * * * * * * *

• Without ur SMS days are like: Moanday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Frightday, Shattereday & Sadday. So send me SMS everyday.
* * * * * * * * * *

• I don't care how many lips u hv kissed, how many shoulders u have embraced & how many times u’ve said, I luv u! All I care is not b the first but 2 b ur last!
* * * * * * * * * *

• U may be out of my sight, but not out of my heart. U may be out of my reach, but not out of my mind. I may mean nothing to u but u'll always be special to me
* * * * * * * * * *

• I'm a cop and you are under arrest on account of being you. It is illegal to be as lovable as you r. Now you get a life sentence in my heart.
* * * * * * * * * *

• Hey, I just got your blood test report. U have been tested HIV positive. Report reads person has high percentage of Honey In Veins. No Wonder!
* * * * * * * * * *

• Only the open heart receives love, only the open mind receives wisdom, only the open hand receives gifts and only the cute persons receive SMS from me!
* * * * * * * * * *

• Hello!! What's wrong with your mobile?Tried so many times but Every time I call it says: The subscriber your are trying to reach is in your heart!
* * * * * * * * * *

• If u see some one without a smile, give him one of urns, coz u r among a few good people who can shine others lives by just walking with him a few miles
* * * * * * * * * *

• Don't send any messages, I don't want to see you, hear your voice, think of you, coz my doctor advised me 2 keep away from Sweets.
* * * * * * * * * *

• I’ll give u one kiss to go to sleep. I’ll give u two kisses to dream. I’ll give u an endless row of kisses to, when u wake up in the morning, think of me.
* * * * * * * * * *

• Boy: Jaaneman, is dil mein aaja!Gal: Sandal utaaroon kya?Boy: Are pagli, yeh koi mandir thodi hai, aise hi aaja!
* * * * * * * * * *

• In da mornin I don’t eat coz I think of u, at noon I don’t eat coz I think of u, in da evenin I don’t eat coz I think of u, at night I don’t sleep coz Im hungry
* * * * * * * * * *

• Kissing you baby is my dream. I'm the strawberry & u r the cream. Handle me gently keep me real keen. U & I together babes is passion so extreme!
* * * * * * * * * *

• One who smokes has a smoky heart; one who drinks has an alcoholic heart. So dear U must STOP eating sweets as u r already a SWEETEHART!
* * * * * * * * * *

• I know you think I'm cute, I know you think I'm fine, but like the other guys, take a number and wait in line!
* * * * * * * * * *

• I wanted to put something incredibly beautiful, sweet, nice, sensitive, erotic and funny on you screen, but unfortunately I do not fit on it.
* * * * * * * * * *

• If all the girls lived on the other side of the sea, what a good swimmer I would be?
* * * * * * * * * *

• Excuse me, do u have a Band-Aid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you.
* * * * * * * * * *

• If I could be any part of you, I’d be your tear. To be conceived in your heart, born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.
* * * * * * * * * *

• Ek tanha raat me apki yaad aayi, tanhai mitane ko humne ek cigrate sulgai, na jaane kaise qayamat ho gayi ke dhooeein ne bhi apki tasvir banayi.
* * * * * * * * * *

I luv ur eyes I luv ur smile. I cherish ur ways, I adore ur style. What can I say? U r one of a kind & 24/7 u r on my mind!
* * * * * * * * * *

• do u believe in love at first site or do i have to walk by again?
* * * * * * * * * *

• I luv ur eyes I luv ur smile. I cherish ur ways, I adore ur style. What can I say? U r one of a kind & 24/7 u r on my mind!
* * * * * * * * * *

• If love & friendship could be brought or sold as if they were Stocks & Shares those wise enough to invest in you SEXY would all be millionaires! !!
* * * * * * * * * *

• Faith makes all things possible, love makes all things easy, hopes makes all things work, but ur gorgeous smile brings all faith, luv & hope in me!
* * * * * * * * * *

• A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum, a kiss isn't a kiss without the tongue, so open ur mouth & close ur eyes & give ur tongue some exercise.
* * * * * * * * * *

• U can b a doctor & save lives, a lawyer & defend lives, a soldier & protect lives or simply b urself, a sweet person who touches hearts!
* * * * * * * * * *

• Those who can't have u hate u, those who have u can't handle u, those who abuse u lose u, & then there are those like me who just can't refuse u!
* * * * * * * * * *

• I used to think that dreams do not come true, but this quickly changed the moment I laid my eyes on you.
* * * * * * * * * *

• There are Tulips in my garden, there are Tulips in the park but nothing is more beautiful then our two lips meeting in the dark!

[guru_sal]

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.
------------ --
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the
computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
------------ ---------
On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our
engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.
------------ --------
Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one
before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.
------------ --------- --------- -
2 sardars were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more.
============ ========= ==
Sardar was busy removing a wheel from
his auto. A man asks sardar why
are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.
============ ========= ====
Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi
petrol se start hoti hai.
============ ========= =======
Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab .
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
============ ======
How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it.

[guru_sal]

Funny SMS (Sandesh Mast Se)

Tere bistar par makdee lage.. Tere room mei muchchar phire.. Raat ko light chali jaye.. Puri raat garmi lage.. Tere sapne mein bhoot aaye.. Chal so jaa. Have a.. GOOD NIGHT
------------ --

Life is Short, Live it!
Love is Small, Flirt it!
Troubles are Momentary, Face it!
Memories are Sweet, Cherish it!
I'm too Good, Accept it!
------------ -

***SEASON DHAMAKA***
Send ur girlfriend 2 me & get a child FREE
HURRY!! 1st ten entries will get Twins.
------------

Aaj



Raat



Theek



12



Baje



ke



baad



1 bejega!!
------------ -------

Tu chand mange main chand de du...

Tu raat mange main raat de du...

Tu dil mange main dil de du...

Tu dil mange...



Bas yaar.....




Bheek mangne ki bhi ek limit hoti hai!!
------------ -------

Yash Johar is producing a new film & is searching 4 new talent. I've suggested ur name. Pls go & meet him. The movie's name is "AKKAL HO NA HO"
------------ -------

Dost kaha ho? Jaha ho wahi pe rehna. 3-4 ghante tak bahar mat nikalna. Tumhari jaan ko khatra hai! Bahar BANDAR pakadne wale ghoom rahe hai.
------------ ---

Baagon mein phool khilte rahenge...
Raat mein diye jalte rahenge...
Dua hai khuda se aap khush rahe hamesha...
Baaki hum tou hamesha tang karte rahenger!!!
-----------

I'm in hospital now. After 5min. I'll be transfered 2 a surgery room. The doctor aid that I'll die if I stop recieving ur SMS!
------------ -

Mein tumhe pyaar ke teen shabd kehna chahta hoon... woh teen shabd jo tumhara dil tak pahooch kar, tumhe gehraayi tak chhooh jaye. Yeh teen shabd mere dil se nikal kar, tumhara dil par zaroor chhah jayenge. Ab sunlo yeh pyaar ke teen shabd - "MERA BHARAT MAHAAN". (Jai Hind)
------------ -

I always think about U.



I can't live without U.



I really need U.



I'm totally mad about U.



I just wanna be with U.



I'm very desperate for U.



I'm crazy 4 U.



I wanna marry U.



I LOVE U.



Aisa muje bajuwali kehti hai
------------

Its not an achievement 2 make 100 FRiENDS in a Year, but an achievement is 2 make a FRiEND for 100 Years, 'N' I know I've made ONE, that's . . . YOU !!
--------

--------

Knock knock...



Any1 there?



Oh good,hi i have a delivery 4u...

[guru_sal]

Ab kisi se koi gila hi nahi
Jis ko Chaha tha woh mila hi nahi
Yeh to sab khel hai Naseebo ka
Apni Qismat main woh likha hi nahi
Woh jo ek shaks hum ko Pyaara tha
Aisa bichrra ke phir mila hi nahi
Jaa chuka hai woh door yun hum se
Ab milne ka koi aasra hi nahi

[guru_sal]

pako aur pakao

Deadly PJs....Commit suicide at your own risk...





3 + 3 =8
Bataaon Kaise?
















Bataaon Bataaon!














Nahi Pata?!!














Are
Galati se!!!!!!!!!! !


************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *******

Teacher: 'A' for?
Student: Apple !!!
Teacher: Jor se bolo
Student: JAI MATA DI


************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ****


! Ek baar ek aadmi ne badi tapasya ki.

shivji khush .

Prakat hue ...

bole ...

.

.

puttar maang ...

maang kya chahiye tujhey !

bakth utha ...

bole shivji ...

mujhey to aap sirf ek guitar de do !

shivji bole kaisa gadha hai ?

unhone kaha ... puttar ...

tuney badi achchi tapsya ki hai ...

kuch bada maang !

.

.

.

.

wo fir bola ... nahi ji ..mujhey to aap guitar hi do

shivji ne phir samajhaya .. abey .. kuch dhang ka maang ... !

par wo to ada hi hua tha ... bola nahi ... aap to mujhey guitar hi do !

shivji usey bade pyaar se khopch me lekar samjhane lage ! ... bole ..yaar tu

kuch aur maang .. guitar

na maang ...

wo bola ... nahi nahi nahi !! mujhey sirf guitar hi chahiye ... ab

shivji gussey main aa gaye ... boley ,(scroll down)

.

.

.

.

.

saale .. agar guitar mere paas hota to main ye damaru kyo bajata :)


************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *******



) Smoking
2) Drinking
3) Charas
4) Ganja
5) Chicken
6) Mutton
7) Oily food
8) Masala
9) Sleep & obesity
10) Pollution

=

Heart Attack

Matlab


scrolll down
































DUS bahane karke le gaye DIL !!
************ ********* ********* *
What's the opposite of "Dominoes"?? ?

think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think

tired of thinking???

Well the answer is "Domi doesn't know"


Whats the opposite of "Pizza Hut"




...











....







.....

o.k don't kill me "Pizza Hutna math"



ok whats the opp of venky's..




































venlocks...
(now,now,dont bang ur head plz..)




Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?

Comepalakrishnan.


What is the op! posite of Subramnium Swamy?

Subramanium Didn't See Me.

[divyaashimix]

hey guru....
rokking work...
and you didnot complete your dare till now!!!!

[guru_sal]

hey guru....
rokking work...
and you didnot complete your dare till now!!!!
thankz divu
and mujhe abhi tak nahi mle pics

[animateash]

cool ones guru